Yoshi Maeshiro-
That one answer is called “boundaries.” In each one of the scenarios, the issue in common is that no matter what their positions—from CEO all the way to assistant—the people above had lost control of them- selves in one way or another.
They all lacked an internal core from which they were able to define themselves, and then express that “defined self” in a way that made life work
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What the people in each scenario do not realize is that while they think they have certain situational problems, if we looked back over time and could see the video of their entire careers, or their entire lives for that matter, we would see that this is not the first time they felt that way.
We would see that is not the first time that being controlled by external forces had affected their performance and well-being. And the common denominator in all of their past situational problems was themselves. They actually had done the same things in different situations over and over again.
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We would see that is not the first time that being controlled by external forces had affected their performance and well-being. And the common denominator in all of their past situational problems was themselves.
They actually had done the same things in different situations over and over again.
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It was only then that he was able to change the pattern that had held him back for three decades.
He realized, at that moment, that he did not have a problem with one of his key reports. He realized that he had a problem with himself.
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Boundaries affect us on the inside—and the outside.They affect the ways we experience work and life, the ways we relate to others in work and life, and the degree to which we are successful in our pursuits.
In other words, they affect the emotional, relational, and performance aspects of our work.
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They all lacked an internal core from which they were able to define themselves, and then express that “defined self” in a way that made life work.
While there were six different situations men- tioned, one issue underlies all those problems: lack of boundaries. The issue of boundaries is one of the big- gest issues that all of us will face in business and in life.
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Here is the key. What the people in each scenario do not realize is that while they think they have certain situational problems, if we looked back over time and could see the video of their entire careers, or their entire lives for that matter, we would see that this is not the first time they felt that way.
We would see that is not the first time that being controlled by external forces had affected their performance and well-being. And the common denominator in all of their past situational problems was themselves.
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Boundaries affect us on the inside—and the outside. They affect the ways we experience work and life, the ways we relate to others in work and life, and the degree to which we are successful in our pursuits. In other words, they affect the emotional, relational, and performance aspects of our work.
“You have just described my entire career since college.” It was only then that he was able to change the pattern that had held him back for three decades. He realized, at that moment, that he did not have a problem with one of his key reports. He realized that he had a problem with himself.
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Your workload is getting more and more out of control, and you feel like it is driving you, instead of the other way around.
You are a leader, and you do not stay focused on the “real mission” or what really should get done or you let the organization lose its focus or “core.”
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Your life feels chaotic and scattered such that you never get done what you truly want to get done.
You procrastinate or are disorganized. You cannot close the deal.
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You cannot let go of things that are taking up your time and resources.
The “wrong people” take too much of your time.
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You are so overloaded with e-mails that you know there is no way ever to get to them.
You are a poor negotiator.
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You give too much away in deals.
You agree to do things that take time away from what you really should be doing, yet you do not say no.
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You are often motivated out of fear, instead of out of purpose.
You know that you could get better results, a better position, or more success, but you haven’t.
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Your talents and brains and opportunities are not bringing you the success you know you are capable of attaining.
You feel that you have somehow missed your calling.
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You feel that you have somehow missed your calling.
You have great intentions and plans but never bring them to fruition or completion, and they remain great intentions and plans.
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You are not focusing on what you have to do because you get pulled into what others should be doing.
You are not focusing on what you have to do because you get pulled into what others should be doing.
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You are not focusing on what you have to do because you get pulled into what others should be doing.
You have trouble delegating and letting go.
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You have lost your passion for work, or some other area of life.
You let others get you off task often and on to their agenda.
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You are distractible and unfocused.
You have not set goals, and even if you set them you ignore them.
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No matter where you find yourself, however, staying where you are or moving on, you must be able to do the following three things in your work:
Be emotionally healthy.
Be relationally healthy.
Be performance healthy.
