Twitter Glitter or Twitter Litter?
How Social Networks are Redefining a
Generation and How We Relate
Joshua Straub, Ph.D.
Dr. Joshua Straub
Objectives
Participants will:
 Identify and describe the pros and cons of
today's changing social networks
 List seven new, surprising findings about the
Millennial Generation and their relationships
 Explore strategies for using these findings to help
the Millennial Generation grow relationally and
get them engaged in the Church
Who are Millennials?
 Optimistic
 Tech-Savvy
 Volunteer
 Pampered/ Trophies  Poor work ethic?
 Helicopter parents
 Entitled
 Caring
 Flip-flops
Who are Millennials?
 Ask Why
 Desire Authenticity
 Homosexuality &
Abortion
 Grew up in 9/11 and
Iraq War
 Horizontal/ Teamwork,
not up-down
leadership
 More concerned with
passion/ lifestyle than
money
 Poor work ethic?
 Diverse
Millennials Connected
 92% are part of a social networking site
 94% of Millennials have a cell phone
 31 % of 8-10 year olds
 8-18 year olds consume 7 hours 38 min of media/ day
 Millennials spend nearly 2 hours a day texting (avg
teen over 3000 texts/ month)
 83% of Millennials sleep with their phones right next to
them and turned on
Millennials Connected
Cyberbullying
 88% have witnessed a friend being cruel
online
 80% have tried to stop it
 21% have joined in
Millennials Connected
 Online Dating
 40 million in U.S. have tried online dating
 18.5 months: Avg length of courtship for
marriage that met online
 42 months: Avg length of courtship for
marriage that met offline
 17% of marriages last year met online
 20% of current committed relationships
 33% of women have sex on first in-person
online dating encounter
Online Relationships Pros and Cons
Access to a wealth of information
 Pro: More information, and up to the minute
 Con: Information overload
“We’ve always had external sources of information that
supplemented our memory, but it seems to me that the
danger here is that if we, in effect, train our brains to forget
rather than to remember you may still be able to find the
individual bits of information when you need them, but
what you lose is the personal associations that happen
when you actually go through the process of
remembering something.”
 Dr. Nicholas Carr, Pulitzer Prize finalist; Dr. Gary Small, UCLA
says parts of our brain really can stop functioning.
Online Relationships Pros and Cons
 Con: Information overload
 Reasoned learning decreases
 Shallow thinking…leads to shallow living
 Dr. Nicholas Carr
Online Relationships Pros and Cons
 New Trend: Attention spans and recent
shifts
 “We appreciate your concern for your child's
use of our application, but unfortunately we
cannot give you access to the account or take
any action on the account at your request. We
are generally forbidden by privacy laws
against giving unauthorized access to
someone who is not an account holder.”
 New Trend: Waldorf Schooling
Online Relationships Pros and Cons
 “Skimmers”
 Multitasking- “dumbing down”
effect
Online Relationships Pros and Cons
Allows you to connect with more people
 Pro: More people build social capital
 Con: Less quality of relationships; more social
isolation; increase in loneliness
Overestimate Levels of Intimacy--digital vs. true
 Pro: Maintain relationships from afar / old
friends
 Con: Expecting more from online relationships
than they can give; can’t substitute electronic
for physical
Online Relationships Pros and Cons
What is intimacy?




LOL vs. hearing people laugh (mirror neurons)
Physiological benefits of laughing
___________ builds intimacy.
Confrontation online or text
 Blocks negative emotional responses which
creates illusion we’re doing no harm.
 Decrease in empathy
Online Relationships Pros and Cons
Social Media Contagion Effect (John Cacippo, U of Chicago)
 Con: loneliness transmitted via social networks
 (offline relationships if a direct connection of
yours is lonely, you’re 52% more likely to be lonely;
If it’s a friend of a friend, 25% more; 3 degrees out,
15 % more)
 Taken to online world, common courtesy and
politeness is often missing; increase in social
isolation
 Pro: As we become increasingly networked, it
becomes more vital we monitor how we behave
Millennials Connected
 50% of 18-29 y.o. first thing they do as
soon as they wake is check Facebook
 Comparing with Others
 Narcissism
 Voyeurism > Self-Pity
Gaming
 “the strength of the evidence linking media violence to youth
aggression is stonger than the evidence linking lead poisoning
with mental retardation and more definitive than the case
linking secondhand smoke with cancer.” –Hunter & Blair (2013)
 “Research has associated exposure to media violence with a
variety of physical and mental health problems for children
and adolescents, including aggressive and violent behavior,
bullying, desensitization to violence, fear, depression,
nightmares and sleep disturbances.”
 -The American Academy of Pediatrics

(Taming)


(Wandering)
(Numbing)
Technology
Gaming
Social Media
Multitasking
7 Interesting Facts
 1. They use technology to create a stronger sense of self.
 2. They have more pride and loyalty than we may think.
 3. They don't believe job security exists.
 4. They are all about the community.
 5. They are family-oriented.
 6. They care more about causes than organizations.
 7. They are leaving the church more rapidly than ever.
R.E.L.A.T.E.
Respect
Emotional Control
Limits
Assertiveness
Train (the brain…and our kids)
Empathy
Respect
 How is technology taking over your life?
 “Anything you cannot fast from owns you.”
 Know your cell phone and what it can do (GPS locaters)
 Become digitally savvy and know what Millennials are doing
online
 Keep abreast to new technologies (Verizon “family locater”
builds a geo-fence)
 Relationally…don’t judge your teen or Millennials…respect
means you seek the underlying motivation behind their
behavior. Understanding is extremely important here. Golden
Rule…
Emotional Control
 Model. Model. Model.
 Don't say anything on email you'd feel
uncomfortable saying to someone in person
 Don’t delay responses to messages you want to
avoid
 Be careful what you say (non-verbal communication
is 93% / actual words 7%)
 Be mindful of emotions and reactions
 Do not compare to others
Limits
 Model. Model. Model.
 Set texting hours on Millennial cellphone
 Put computer in family room
 Set boundaries on time spent on social networks and in front of
screens
 No phones or screens after 8pm
 Sunday fast day
 No phones at meals or when with others
 No phone until after morning devotions
 Only check at certain times and for certain periods
throughout day
Assertiveness
 Based on Respect…speak your feelings
without judging another.
 Teach them the consequences of their
actions (legally, occupationally, etc.)
 Teach parents to set be assertive in their
homes. As long as teens live under their roof
they play by their rules.
 Assert yourself as a mentor and advocate!
Train (the brain & our kids)
 Play board games, motor-skill mentoring, teach
them hands-on, fishing, hunting, hiking, outdoor
leadership
 Exercise together
 Read books together (not e-books)
 Pray and meditate
 Relaxation techniques
 Sequential tasking
Empathy
 Be safe
 Doing empathy; more than having it
Maintain healthy balance of online and
offline relationships
Build real life network of contacts
Balance time with family and on internet and
keep them separate
References
 Hart, A. & Frejd Hart, S. (2013). The digital invasion: How
technology is shaping you and your relationships. Grand
Rapids, MI: Baker Books.
 Hunter, B. & Blair, K. (2013). From santa to sexting: Helping
your child safely navigate middle school and shape the
choices that last a lifetime. Abilene, TX: Leafwood
Publishers.