Tough Questions/Problems with Prayer
Using Stories to Examine the “Tough Stuff” of Jewish Prayer
Prepared by Amy Dorsch for USY
Exercise 1: Why Pray? Thanks for Bread
Exercise 2: Why pray in a language I don’t understand? Baal Shem Tov and the Forest
Exercise 3: To whom am I praying? God doesn’t answer my prayers anyway Talking to a Wall,
Nachshon Waxman
Exercise 4: How do I pray? The Flute Player
Exercise 5: Where and When Do I Pray? The Forest
(Finding Kavanah/Spontaneous Prayer)
Exercise 1: Why Pray?
Explain that even though Jews pray as a community, in a minyan, prayer is a very personal thing.
People pray (or don’t pray) for different reasons. Why do you think that some people turn to
prayer?
Ask participants to close their eyes. By making this exercise anonymous, participants will be able
to really think about prayer on a personal level, without the influence of their friends on their
decisions. With closed eyes, there is no judgement or pressure.
You might turn to prayer:
When feeling helpless
When seeking Hope
To express Gratitude
Thankfulness
Out of Fear
It’s a Jewish thing and helps one feel Jewish
I don’t know who, but someone is listening
Motivates me to act
A way to express my feelings
To ask for things
To make me feel better
Help me be a better person
Discuss some of these reasons and explain that prayer is a part of our everyday experiences whether or we
acknowledge our actions or thoughts as prayer. Recognizing the need for prayer is difficult. Read the story below.
What does this teach us about why we may turn to prayer or what we may use prayer for in the every day.
Exercise 2: Why pray in a language I don’t understand?
As a group, sing the Star Spangled Banner. In pairs, have participants pick apart the lyrics and
try to figure out the meaning of the anthem.
O say can you see by the dawn's early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave?
Questions:
Read or unpack the lyrics. What is the meaning of the words of the Star Spangled Banner? Why
sing it if you don’t really know what it means or don’t speak English in this way?
Think about your emotional connection to the Star Spangled Banner. What emotions does
singing this song stir for you? So, even if you don’t quite relate to the words or understand its
meaning, the national anthem still is meaningful to you. Can you relate this to Tefillah at all?
Story: Baal Shem Tov and the Forest
When the great Rabbi Israel Baal Shem-Tov saw misfortune threatening the Jews,
it was his custom to go into a certain part of the forest to meditate. There he
would light a fire, say a special prayer, and the miracle would be accomplished
and the misfortune averted. Later, when his disciple, the celebrated Magid of
Mezritch, had occasion, for the same reason, to intercede with heaven, he would
go to the same place in the forest and say: ‘‘Master of the Universe, listen! I do
not know how to light the fire, but I am still able to say the prayer,’’ and again the
miracle would be accomplished. Still later, Rabbi Moshe-Lieb of Sasov, in order to
save his people once more, would go into the forest and say: ‘‘I do not know how
to light the fire, I do not know the prayer, but I know the place and this must be
sufficient.’’ It was sufficient and the miracle was accomplished. Then it fell to
Rabbi Israel of Rizhyn to overcome misfortune. Sitting in his armchair, his head in
his hands, he spoke to God: ‘‘I am unable to light the fire and I do not know the
prayer; I cannot even find the place in the forest. All I can do is ask You to redeem
us, and this must be sufficient.’’ And it was sufficient.
Why pray in Hebrew?
The two people that tried to emulate the actions of the Baal Shem Tov did not know what to do.
The Magid of Mezritch did nott know how to light the fire, Rabbi Moshe Leib did not know the
prayer. How can we relate the message of this story to praying in Hebrew, from a siddur (fixed
prayer)? What lesson do we learn about the power of praying in Hebrew from this story?
Imagine you were traveling in Europe. Each place you go, you do not speak the Native language,
yet you can enter a Jewish space and pick up a siddur, and instantly “communicate” with your
fellow Jews. Structured siddur prayer is almost like a universal Jewish language. Wherever you
are in the world, you can communicate with a fellow Jew with Hebrew (language or prayer)
Exercise 3: To Whom Am I Praying?
Challenge – Why pray if God doesn’t listen anyway?
Story 1: Talking To a Wall–An Old Jewish Joke
A journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the
Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. She went to
the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She
watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a
cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview. “Pardon me,
sir, I’m Rebecca Smith from CNN. What’s your name? Morris Feinberg,” he
replied.
“Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?”
“For about 50 years.” “50 years! That’s amazing! What do you pray for?”
“I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims. I pray for all the
wars and all the hatred to stop. I pray for all our children to grow up safely as
responsible adults, and to love their fellow man.”
“How do you feel after doing this for 50 years?”
“Like I’m talking to a darn wall.”
Story 2: God Said No
Nachshon Wachsman was an Israeli soldier who was captured as a POW in
October 1994. [SIDE NOTE: His parents, Esther and Yehuda met in the summer of
1970 when Yehudah was the madrich for a USY Pilgrimage group and Esther was
the Pilgrimage secretary]. The IDF rescue attempt was too late, Nachshon had
already been killed.
Wachsman's Rosh Yeshiva, Rabbi Mordechai Elon, gave the eulogy at his funeral.
At the request of the bereaved father, the rabbi told the crowd of mourners that
God did listen to their prayers and that just as a father would always like to say
"yes" to all of his children's requests, sometimes he must say "no" though the
child might not understand why. "So too our Father in Heaven heard our prayers,
and though we don't understand why, God’s answer was 'no.'" Esther repeated
this story when she was interviewed by the Today Show when questioned how
she felt that her prayers were not answered. “God did answer my prayers,” she
said. “God said, no.”
What other responses may help you come to terms with this challenge?
Where do YOU stand?
Write each response on a piece of paper and have participants literally stand on their answer.
Sample Responses:






Prayer helps me acknowledge the problem and contemplate what I may be able to do
about it
Prayer can help motivate me to seek the help that I may need
Prayer helps me verbalize my hopes, wishes, frustrations and wants
Prayer helps me feel gratitude when all I want to do is complain
Understanding that God sometimes says “no” helps me recognize that I can’t always get
what I want- that’s life!
God may say “no” this time, but maybe next time I’ll get a “yes?” or it’ll motivate me to
get to “yes” myself.
Exercise 4: How we Pray
Choose options from a number of index cards to create a prayer experience that is personal and
meaningful for YOU.
I have something on my mind
I go for a run outside and notice I feel guilt about ditching my
so I type an email I’ll never
how beautiful my town is in
little brother, so I give him a
send
the Spring
hoodie of mine that he loves
I don’t know how to handle a
I really admire my science
I worry about where I’ll be in
recent disagreement with my
teacher and am inspired by him. five years, so I review a plan in
mom so I pace to release some
I look forward to his class. I
my head when Im stressed out.
steam
usually buy him a gift card and
write a nice message to him in
gratitude.
When I am angry that
I will never forget this negative After a horrible day, all I want
something didn’t go my way, I
experience so I tell myself that to do is lie on my bed, take
play basketball on my driveway my children will never have to
slow deep breathes and listen
and talk it out to myself
go through it [hope for the
to my favorite music.
future]
My ideal day looks like…
The world I want to live in
Im nervous about being on my
looks like…
own next year, so I journal 2
weeks of my current life to
reassure myself that it’ll be
okay.
For my BFF’s birthday, I made
her a collage with photos and
one-word memories of our
happiest times [positive
reflection]
Story: The Boy and the Flute
A popular Chassidic Story
There once was an illiterate shepherd boy, who could not read Hebrew. He brings
his flute to shul on Yom Kippur unbeknownst to his father. He wants to play but
father sternly tells him to keep it in his pocket.
Finally at Nei’lah, after having listened to others pray all day, with tears streaming
down his face, he cannot hold back. He wants to express himself. He wants to
reach out to God. He takes out the flute and plays a heartfelt melody.
The father and all the congregation are appalled, but the Rebbe tells them not to
worry.
“This boy saved our prayers. Our prayers were not ascending to the heavens. We
were not able to pray with the purity and sincerity that are required to elevate
our prayers into the heavenly courts. Suddenly, this boy with his unknowing error
but pure heart and tears began to play his flute. His purity, his prayer from his
heart, was added to our prayers and the doors of heaven opened up so that our
prayers could be accepted.”
Keva and Kavanah
Keva, means the structured prayer service, the prayers written in the siddur. Kavanah, means
praying with meaning or intention, prayer from the heart, spontaneous at times, but from the
heart. This story argues on behalf of Kavanah, that we should be able to pray in any way if it
comes from the heart. Both forms of prayer are acceptable forms of Jewish prayer. How would
you argue for both?
Exercise 5: Where and When We Pray
Using Keva (structured Tefillah) to create Kavannah (intention, meaning) – turning the mundane
into prayer moments by finding God everywhere
Explain: Imagine seeing a rainbow. It’s an awe-inducing site, something you don’t see often, and
is a sign of beauty following a storm. You want to acknowledge your feeling of awe or the sight
of beauty before you, but don’t know how.
Keva- Jewish tradition offers a blessing upon seeing a rainbow (Brachot Hanehenin, page 708709 of Siddur Sim Shalom). Opening a siddur may not be your initial response, but the
traditional prayer gives you a tool to acknowledge the holiness or special moment you’re
experiencing. The siddur provides you with some way to acknowledge God before you when you
don’t quite know what to say other than “cool, check out that rainbow!”
Kavanah- you can also use the traditional Jewish response as inspiration to create your own
personal blessing or acknowledgement. Take a photo and give the photo your own creative
caption, draw the colors you see before you in a notebook, write a poem, sing a duet of
“Somewhere over the Rainbow,” these are all methods of making what you could otherwise
ignore, into an awe-inspiring, prayer-ful moment.
Activity/Exercise:
Fixed Jewish prayer gives us the words to say when we want to acknowledge a feeling or
experience and don’t know how to articulate the fear, hope, gratitude, etc. Jewish prayer can also
help us turn the mundane, every day experiences into inspiring, holy moments
Chassidic Story: But I am Not the Same
There once was a young boy who always liked to spend his time in the forest.
Now, the forest could be a very beautiful place, but there was no knowledge what
once would find there. It could also be a place of great danger.
The young boy’s father was worried. He was delighted that his young son was so
full of adventure or curiosity, but he was afraid that something terrible would
happen to him in the forest.
Finally, he asked his son, “Why do you always go into the forest?”
‘I go there to find God,” the son replied.
The father was relieved. Surely there was a way to convince his son that it was not
necessary to go into the forest to find God, that he could find God anywhere.
“Don’t you know that God is everywhere, one and the same?” he responded.
“Yes,” agreed the son, “but I am not.”
Discussion:
“God exists only where one lets God in.”- The Kotzker Rebbe
Following the exercise/story:
Questions/discussion: Where and when do you find God? Do you allow opportunities or space to
“let God in?” Prayer gives us a chance to “let God in,” wherever, whenever that may be. Each
time you pray, you are slightly different than the time before. So even if you’ve read the Tefillot
over and over again, each time you read through the prayer service, you may gain something new
because you are a different person. Additionally, you may experience an uplifting Tefillah
experience on Massada in Israel where someone else may need to be in a synagogue sanctuary to
pray. We all experience Kavanah in different places and spaces because we are different people.