July 20, 2011 7:58 AM
Why children need traditional fairy tales
I first ran this in April, 2010, but as I read the preceding NYT article on the dumbing
down of playgrounds, this immediately came to mind as a natural companion piece.
In the over feminization of our culture - that is, letting women take the reins about
how things should work - we've really squelched a lot of archetypal
challenges/risks/rites of passage by which children learn and grow. I've spoken here
at length about the problem of mothers not letting their boys be boys, instead trying
to control their natural desires to move and make noise and explore and conquer.
In the area of reading, much of what is published for children today is warm and fuzzy
stories designed to make kids feel good about themselves, be "nice" and
politically/environmentally correct. In so many areas, the male influence on the
upbringing of children seems to have been completely suppressed as the mother puts
control and safety first.
I think of how the dad's natural instinct is to throw his baby up high in the air and
catch him, as the mother gasps "Be careful!" Turns out that this instinctive behavior is
actually helpful in developing baby's vestibular system. It stimulates the inner ear,
which helps in developing baby's overall sense of balance and orientation.
In so many ways, women's tendency to overprotect - which has become dominant - is
preventing today's children from reaching their potential.
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Even when it comes to literature:
Traditional fairytales 'not PC enough'
Parents have stopped reading traditional fairytales to their children because
they are too scary and not politically correct, according to research.
By Graeme Paton, Education Editor
Published: 2:14PM GMT 05 Jan 2009
UK Telegraph
Favourites such as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Cinderella and Rapunzel are
being dropped by some families who fear children are being emotionally damaged.
A third of parents refused to read Little Red Riding Hood because she walks through
woods alone and finds her grandmother eaten by a wolf.
One in 10 said Snow White should be re-named because "the dwarf reference is not
PC".
Rapunzel was considered "too dark" and Cinderella has been dumped amid fears she is
treated like a slave and forced to do all the housework.
The poll of 3,000 British parents - by TheBabyWebsite.com - revealed a quarter of
mothers now rejected some classic fairy tales.
Sarah Pilkinton, 36, a mother-of-three from Sevenoaks, Kent, told researchers: "I
loved the old fairy stories when I was growing up. I still read my children some of the
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classics like Sleeping Beauty and Goldilocks, but I must admit I've not read them The
Gingerbread Man or Hansel and Gretel.
"They are both a bit scary and I remember having difficulty sleeping after being read
those ones when I was little."
Two-thirds of parents said traditional fairytales had stronger morality messages than
many modern children's stories.
But many said they were no longer appropriate to soothe youngsters before bed.
Almost 20 per cent of adults said they refused to read Hansel and Gretel because the
children were abandoned in a forest - and it may give their own sons and daughters
nightmares.
A fifth did not like to read The Gingerbread Man as he gets eaten by a fox.
The most popular book read at bedtime is now The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric
Carle.
The simple tale, which features a greedy caterpillar eating too much food, was
written in 1969.
It also emerged 65 per cent of parents preferred to read their children happier tales
at bedtime, such as the Mr Men, The Gruffalo and Winnie the Pooh.
Three quarters of mothers and fathers try to avoid stories which might give their
children nightmares and half of all parents would not consider reading a single fairy
tale to their child until they reached the age of five.
Top bedtime stories of 2008:
1. The Very Hungry Caterpillar, Eric Carle (1969)
2. Mr Men, Roger Hargreaves (1971)
3. The Gruffalo, Julia Donaldson (1999)
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4. Winnie the Pooh, A.A. Milne (1926)
5. Aliens Love Underpants, Claire Freedman & Ben Cort (2007)
6. Thomas and Friends from The Railway Series, Rev.W.Awdry (1945)
7. The Wind in the Willows, Kenneth Grahame (1908)
8. What a Noisy Pinky Ponk!, Andrew Davenport (2008)
9. Charlie and Lola, Lauren Child (2001)
10. Goldilocks and the Three Bears, Robert Southey (1837)
Top 10 fairy tales we no longer read:
1. Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs
2. Hansel and Gretel
3. Cinderella
4. Little Red Riding Hood
5. The Gingerbread Man
6. Jack and the Beanstalk
7. Sleeping Beauty
8. Beauty and the Beast
9. Goldilocks and the Three Bears
10. The Emperor's New Clothes
What is sad about well-intentioned parents filtering out traditional fairy tales (and I
don't mean the Disney versions) is that they are eliminating an important traditional
resource in the child's psychological development.
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If you have time to read it, I heartily recommend Bruno Bettelheim's The Uses of
Enchantment: The Meaning and Importance of Fairy Tales, which will open up a
world of new understanding to you about the critical role played by traditional
children's literature. I first read the book 30 years ago - and it helped me look
beneath the surface to understand not just the specific fairy tales Bettelheim
discusses, but also traditional poems, songs and nursery rhymes.
To whet your appetite, I've excerpted some highlighted portions of the Introduction
from my dog-eared copy:
The prevalent parental belief is that a child must be diverted from what troubles him
most: his formless, nameless anxieties. . .Many parents believe that only conscious
reality or pleasant wish-fulfilling images should be presented to the child - that he
should be exposed only to the sunny side of things. But such one-sided fare nourishes
the mind only in a one-sided way, and real life is not all sunny. . .
[Here] is exactly the message that fairy tales get across to the child in manifold form:
that a struggle against severe difficulties in life is unavoidable, is an intrinsic part of
human existence- but that if one does not shy away, but steadfastly meets
unexpected and often unjust hardships, one masters all obstacles and at the end
emerges victorious.
Modern stories written for young children mainly avoid these existential problems,
although they are crucial issues for all of us. The child needs most particularly to be
given suggestions in symbolic form about how he may deal with these issues and grow
safely into maturity. . . .
It is characteristic of fairy tales to state an existential dilemma briefly and pointedly.
This permits the child to come to grips with the problem in its most essential form,
where a more complex plot would confuse matters for him. The fairy tale simplifies
all situations. The figures are clearly drawn; and details, unless very important, are
eliminated. All characters are typical rather than unique.
Contrary to what takes place in many modern children's stories, in fairy tales evil is as
omnipresent as virtue. In practically every fairy tale good and evil are given body in
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the form of some figures and their actions, as good and evil are omnipresent in life
and the propensities for bother are present in every man. It is this duality which poses
the moral problem, and requires the struggle to solve it. . .
The figures in fairy tales are not ambivalent - not good and bad at the same time, as
we are in reality. . . A person is either good or bad, nothing in between. One brother
is stupid, the other clever. One sister is virtuous and industrious, the others are vile
and lazy. One is beautiful, the others are ugly. One parent is good, the other evil. . .
Presenting the polarities of character permits the child to comprehend easily the
difference between the two, which he could not do as readily were the figures drawn
more true to life, with all the complexities that characterize real people.
Christian parents, of course, have the greatest story ever told to share with their
children. But I think the kind of understanding Bettelheim provides is like another tool
in the parental toolbelt.
In this, I am not a Montessori purist. Maria Montessori believed that children under 6 with their minds like absorbent sponges - could not distinguish between reality and
fantasy; therefore they should only be presented with reality.
But Montessori taught me to see the world through a child's eyes, and I'm inclined to
agree with Bettelheim, that children have fears and anxieties that they don't know
how to speak about. Fairy tales meet an archetypal need, and parents need to
understand and reconsider them:
"Fairy tales do not tell children the dragons exist. Children already know that
dragons exist. Fairy tales tell children the dragons can be killed."--G.K. Chesterton
The Uses of Enchantment is probably available at your local library - also at Amazon, but none
right now at PaperbackSwap.
Love,
Barbara Curtis
http://mommylife.net/archives/2011/07/why_your_child_1.html
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