OT Sermon 106 The Wife from the Lord
Proverbs says a lot about the ideal wife. It mentions wise women, prosperous women, as well as
those who nag and are quarrelsome. We all know who we would rather be! The man is the head of
the home but it is the virtuous woman who is described as being a crown to her husband.
The Wife from the Lord................
1. Fears the Lord
The wife from the Lord should be a born again Christian, someone who has accepted Jesus Christ as
Lord and Saviour. Instead of fearing the bad things going on in the world and what might happen to
her children, she chooses to respect and reverence God. This is the meaning of ‘fearing the Lord’ in
many translations.
Proverbs 31:30 (AMP)
30
Charm and grace are deceptive, and beauty is vain [because it is not lasting], but a woman
who reverently and worshipfully fears the Lord, she shall be praised!
It is lovely to meet women who are gracious, kind and charming. However as it says here those
graces can be deceptive. Motives can lead us to act a certain way. Beauty is wonderful to look at
but it doesn’t necessarily last so there’s no point making a 50 year plan based on looks. As it says in
this Proverb, a woman who is beautiful but doesn’t know how to behave is out of place. A gold ring
is too good for a pig’s nose especially when that pig has filthy habits God wants us to be beautiful
but also to have good character and manners.
Proverbs 11:22 (GW)
22
{Like} a gold ring in a pig's snout, {so} is a beautiful woman who lacks good taste.
The one who will be praised is the woman who fears the Lord. She is saved and reverences God.
She is a worshipper. Someone who truly fears the Lord will exhibit many traits that others cannot
exhibit. This lady will be able to refrain from giving in to emotions all the time because her spirit is
controlled by God. She will be humble, correctible and teachable. All that is in the fruit of the spirit
(Galatians 5:22-23) will be manifested in her if she allows the Spirit to take first place. However
during the course of a marriage there are many opportunities to develop these fruit and we can
have a pretty good image of ourselves before marriage and then realise that the bar is raised once
we have to deal intimately with another person on a daily basis!
2. Prudent
Proverbs 19:14 (AMP)
14
House and riches are the inheritance from fathers, but a wise, understanding, and prudent
wife is from the Lord.
Being prudent is something that benefits a relationship and a family. Being prudent means someone
who has understanding, is wise, sensible, intelligent and circumspect. Someone with these
characteristics can be left to handle matters which need attention without her husband worrying. A
prudent wife is a gift from God and can sharpen a man who needs a companion to help him fulfil all
that he needs to do on this earth.
A prudent wife will be able to foresee matters which need to be dealt with. She will have the
wisdom to tackle he children early on before matters get out of hand. Wisdom and understanding
are needed for every area of life.
If you are a woman and don’t feel very prudent then know that there is a grace for marriage. Once
you become a wife you will find the Lord helping you to be more considerate so that you do think of
your spouse and family and look out for them. Once you are a mother you will find yourself
preparing ahead of time for your children. Prudence is something that you can increase in as your
circumstances demand it.
3. Builds Her House
Proverbs 14:1 (AMP)
1
EVERY WISE woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down with her own
hands.
If we are wise and prudent we will be able to foresee what needs to be done in the home. We
will know when we need to give more attention to our spouses or our children. We will do
what we have to to build our house on the firm foundation we have in Christ. Apart from the
right foundation, what builds a house?
Love, harmony, respect, the meeting of needs are all things that contribute to your house
being built. When God tells you that you need to give attention to your house then obey His
instruction and do it. You will not find that you are truly satisfied if your home is out of
order. Despite all the success you could have in the world or in ministry, if your home is not
in order you will feel that a big part of your life is out of kilt.
The foolish wife will tear her house down by being one who nags and quarrels or is always
looking for something to complain about.
Proverbs 25:24 (GW)
24
Better to live on a corner of a roof than to share a home with a quarreling woman.
This insinuates that a man would rather live in one small part of a roof than with a woman
who quarrels inside a house. This is quite something. When a man prefers to stay outside
rather than at home this is an indicator that something is wrong. When someone is always
looking for a fight or wants to pick here and there of course we don’t want to see them.
Quarrelling never bears fruit and it is not the way to resolve a conflict. The wise woman who
wants to build her house will learn how to communicate with her husband so that the two of
them can live blissfully. This doesn’t mean there will be no misunderstandings but because
of the respect they have for each other they can sit down and work things out and
compromise if necessary.
A wise woman will submit to her husband in matters which are not against the Word of God.
These are matters in which there is choice or the Bible says nothing about them. As he is the
head of the home the wife will walk in wisdom and choose to submit to him rather than
causing grief in the home. If she knows he is wrong in his judgement then she can ask God
to correct him.
Proverbs 21:19 (GW)
19
Better to live in a desert than with a quarreling and angry woman.
This is another indication of how bad it is to live with someone always ready for a quarrel. A
desert is a pretty difficult place to survive in let alone live in. If we have anger issues or we
find ourselves always needing to vent then we need to spend time with the Lord and ask Him
for the root of the problem to be uprooted and cut off. This will make married life much
easier and will enable us to enjoy our spouses more. There are times when we need to
confront our spouses. We mustn’t just because we don’t want to be called a nagging wife or
contentious wife not deal with the things that must be addressed. It is very important not to
ignore warning signs in a marriage. We need to pray first and then ask for opportunities to
confront our spouses about problems. We approach them with love and respect and in
humility.
Proverbs 27:15-16 (GW)
15
Constantly dripping water on a rainy day is like a quarreling woman.
16
Whoever can control her can control the wind. He can even pick up olive oil with his right
hand.
A constant drip can be annoying. We want to turn the tap off but if it won’t turn off every
drip will irritate us. A contentious woman cannot be turned off and you can’t get away from
her. God did not make that kind of nature. He made women to be approachable and cooperative with their husbands.
A wise woman will want to avoid being contentious, quarrelsome and nagging. She would
rather spend time praising God for things that He has done and is doing. If her husband and
children are not behaving the right way she will pray and speak the Word over them to ensure
that they walk in the blessing. God spoke the whole world into experience through His words
so there is no reason why you cannot create your marriage through your words backed with
His power.
Finally on this point, because this wise woman is in her marriage for the long haul as one
Bible teacher on marriage put it, she owns her house and is not just renting, she will commit
to seeing it kept in good condition. If something needs to be repaired it will get repaired. It’s
not just a case of saying “Well it’s not my property”. The way your property looks will
reflect on you.
4. Clothed with Strength and Honour
Proverbs 31:25 (AMP)
25
Strength and dignity are her clothing and her position is strong and secure; she rejoices
over the future [the latter day or time to come, knowing that she and her family are in
readiness for it]!
I believe that a woman who wants to be attractive to her husband will wear clothes he likes but the
clothing spoken of here is spiritual clothing. A woman who is virtuous will wear strength. She won’t
be a submissive doormat. Instead she will be a woman who is strong in the Lord and of strong
character. When people are hurt meet her they will be able to take strength from her. People will
be encouraged by her. She has dignity and honour. Because she fears God she is one who people
can respect. She is not an idol woman or one who makes excuses for not having enough. She gets
to work and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Instead of being down about the economy and the state of the world she actually rejoices about the
future . Because of the wisdom of God in her and walking in that wisdom, she knows she and her
family are prepared for whatever happens. Her trust is in God.
5. Crown
Proverbs 12:4 (GW)
4
A wife with strength of character is the crown of her husband, but the wife who disgraces
him is like bone cancer.
A strong character is not a threat to a man who knows who he is. In fact is a healthy
challenge to him. A wife of strong character will make her husband look better by bringing
honour to him. He will stand out of the crowd because of the kind of wife he has. In the past
I have met men and thought “How did a man like that get a woman like her? This can be said
in a good or bad sense. A men who seems to be mediocre will look like something else with
a virtuous woman standing by him. Her strong character and wisdom will take him to
another level.
If we are in the habit of embarrassing or criticising people, especially our husbands we need
to change our behaviour. It might seem like a joke but to the person who is being joked about
it may not feel right. It might be that bitterness is starting to fester or that the man is
beginning to feel disrespected. When these feelings are in the heart it makes it difficult for us
to enjoy wholesome relationships. Disgracing our husband can also be because of wrong
behaviour we exhibit towards others. If we have a habit of being malicious or gossiping and
get known for this it reflects badly on our husbands. Whether you are in ministry or not it
doesn’t matter. You have the ministry of a wife and a mother. You may feel you can get
away with certain behaviour because your husband isn’t a Pastor. It isn’t so. God sees every
role occupied by his people as important. Once we are Christians God expects us to keep the
standard. Waiting for when we hold titles to improve is hypocritical and not what God wants.
He wants us to be assets to our husbands rather than those that people talk about for the
wrong reasons.
Proverbs 31:10 (GW)
10
“Who can find a wife with a strong character? She is worth far more than jewels.
Your crown will sparkle with jewels as you walk in the Spirit. Your husband will have no
need to worry.
Proverbs 31:11 (GW)
11
Her husband trusts her with {all} his heart, and he does not lack anything good.
As you progress in marriage you will want you husband to be able to trust you. How horrible it is if
he trusts someone outside of your marriage more than he trusts you. Trust is earned and we must
be willing to show commitment to our marriages and respect towards each other. Then we will earn
trust.