Positive Predicting
“How are we going to celebrate when……”
“Who should we call when…..”
“Ten years from now….”
“Sure, there will be bumps along the road. It
won’t always be easy…but you’ll do it. It’s
in you!”
Neg side
The other side of positive thinking…
“Positive thinking fools our minds into
perceiving that we’ve already attained our goal,
slackening our readiness to pursue it.”
“Positive thinking is pleasurable, but that
doesn’t mean it’s good for us. Like so much in
life, attaining goals requires a balanced and
moderate approach, neither dwelling on the
downsides nor a forced jumping for joy.”
Gabrielle Oettingen, NY Times Article
Kids at hope
Three Universal Truths
Children succeed when they are surrounded by adults
who believe they can succeed no exceptions.
Children succeed when they have meaningful and
sustainable relationships with caring adults.
Children succeed when they can articulate their future
in four domains rather than one: Home and Family;
Education and Career; Community and Service; and
Hobbies and Recreation.
KidsatHope.com
Future Oriented Questions
1. Do you think you’ll attend a trade school, junior college
or four year school?
2. What professions are you leaning towards?
3. Do you think you’ll travel a lot when you’re older?
Where?
4. Big family or small? Will you help your kids with their
homework?
5. Would you prefer to live in a big city or small town?
6. What kind of hobbies will you have when you’re older?
7. Will you be generous, and give your time and money
to those in need?
Biz cards
Create business cards for your students.
Have them network!
Thompson & Associates
Master Art Design & Graphics
Kenneth Thompson, President
“Art from the heart!”
Tel/Fax: 887-345-8767
kenart@Thomp.com
Website: www.Kart.com
diploma
College Bound Kids!
Joshua
Future Engineer
Joshua Brown
Mary anec
Assumptions (or lack thereof)…
…Does assume that change is inevitable, not
uncertain.
The 2015 Betty
Rarely overheats!
No backfiring!
Slicker design!
More popular!
“There’s no such thing as ‘same old me.’”
We get better every day!”
snowball
The Melting Snowball
“See your fears and worries about (pending
issue/loss/transition) as a big snowball in the middle of your
chest, and understand that as each day goes by, it’s going to
melt a little. It may stay forever. But it will become so small
that you can build a great life around it.”
poker
Poker & Life
Life is like a game of poker. Even if you’re dealt
a bad hand, you can still win the game….
“Even if you’re dealt a bad hand…
You can still play in the band!”
>tickets
You can’t get in anywhere …without a ticket
Rapid Fire Infusing
Provides…..
Sudden BURSTS of Positivity!
Tell a joke, play music, show a film clip, have them recall a great
moment or day, tell them how much you enjoy being part of their lives,
praise, feed, read something inspirational.
Commit a deliberate act of kindness
Other ideas?__________________________________________________
Strength-Based Practice
 Emerging approach to helping people
that is more positive and hope-inspiring.
 Powerful combination of the strengthbuilding model and solution-focused
communication.
Solution-Focused Questions
The Language of Hope and Possibility!
Explorative Historical:
How many kids have been, or are, in similar situations? How
many succeeded? So why can’t you? What steps did they take to
succeed? ?
Has any other assignment worried you like this one?
Qualifiers and Partial Statements:
“I hate this class!” > “So you’re pretty upset with this class
right now.”
“My parents fight.”
“So sometimes your parents argue.”
“Nothing ever goes my way.”
“Sometimes it seems nothing goes right, eh?”
Visit: www.bobbertolino.com
Past Tense:
“I’m stupid.”
“So you haven’t been feeling real smart, lately?”
When and Will:
“I’ll never pass that test.”
“When you do, what will it feel like?”
Scaling Questions:
“On a scale of one-to-ten, ten being the highest probability
of accomplishing this, what number do you think you’re at
now? What number will it be in 3 months?
Identifying In-Between Change:
“What will be the first sign that you’ve turned the corner?”
Amplifying Change using Speculation:
“Why were you able to change in such a great way? It’s okay if
you’re not sure. But I have to wonder if it’s because you’re
getting older and more mature and are making better decisions, or
if it’s related to doing better in school can open doors for you?
I don’t know, but people really see you making an effort!”
Tip: It’s better to speculate about things that are unlikely
To be rejected by the youth.
Changing Perspective Question: “How come you’re not doing
worse?”
Self esteem..
Self-Esteem Building
To help kids enhance low self esteem, show a
genuine interest in their interests/strengths &
provide tasks and activities that offer a:
Universal Opportunity for Individual Success
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Academic tasks they understand and can accomplish
Special chores and/or work/vocational opportunities
Games, often of chance, they can all win
Community Projects
Technological endeavors
Match with a mentor
Sports and other after-school groups/activities
D vs. U
Helping or mentoring younger kids or others
SB Focus:
Doing vs. Understanding
trumpet
Every kid needs his/her own
special niche!
Trumpet Success
Hang accomplishments, create and
maintain a scrapbook, send postcards
home, etc.
p0ostcards
Postcard Exercise
1. Please write a postcard to your parent(s), relative or a friend:
“Dear _________________________,
Your son, daughter, cousin, friend (name____________)
recently attended a two-day training I conducted in
Danvers, MA. The training topic was
How To Use a Positive, Strength-Based Approach with
At-Risk Students.(Your name________) was a fabulous
attendee. He/she was very invested in the topic and an active
participant. ______’s strong passion for at-risk kids was
evident throughout. I was honored to work with him/her.
Warm regards,
Charlie Appelstein, MSW
Explos child
Helping Inflexible/Explosive Children & Youth
Characteristics of Such Kids:
• Display deficits in frustration tolerance
• Generally do not respond well to consequences and
rewards (i.e. traditional motivational approaches)
• Symptoms are thought to emanate more from neurological as opposed to psychological factors
• Prone to stubborn, inflexible, explosive outbursts
• Often display genuine remorse after an episode
Most of this material is from The Explosive Child by Ross Greene, Ph.D.
How to Help:
• Create user-friendly environments
• Determine which behaviors need to be addressed
and how best to respond. Categorize behaviors and
responses into one of three boxes:
A = Safety
B = Room for compromise & negotiation
C = Ignore
• As kids meltdown and approach vapor lock,
immediately distract, empathize, and offer aid. Help
them to downshift into a calmer state. Such kids are
often helped by learning how to negotiate and
compromise when agitated.
The Baskets
A
A = Non-negotiable, often a
safety concern.
B
B = Room for compromise
and negotiation
C
C = Ignore
The Truth about Individualized Plans
“No fair! He’s getting
a head start!”
Common Perception (Cognitive distortion)
Individualized Plans
What is Real!
Diff talk
The Differences Talk
millimeter
SB practice does not assume that ownership of guilt
is somehow automatically curative.
The Millimeter Acknowledgement
“Do you think it’s slightly possible that
perhaps, maybe….”
“Could, maybe, 1% of this have something do
with…”
Hello good
You can’t say hello until you first say goodbye
Examples:
Goodbye to: Living w/family of origin
Hello to:
Foster or adoptive care
Goodbye to: Loss of idealized childhood
Hello to:
What was real, the good that can
remembered, and life ahead.
Grief stages
Stages of Grief:
Shock & Denial
Anger
Sadness
Acceptance
Seeing
Seeing is Believing
(Unconditional support)
vs.
Believing is Seeing
(Standard behavior management)
produces Optimism – which feeds possibility,
and motivates coping and adaptive behavior, even
in the face of difficult odds
..which
Seeing is BELIEVING!
“You D’a man! We’re excited that you’re here!”
NOT: Believing is Seeing!
“We’ll treat you nicely once you put that slingshot
down, lose some weight, and get rid of that
ridiculous hat!”
Think about committing a:
Think about performing a:
Deliberate Act of Kindness
Working with Families
Key Principles, Terms and Concepts
“The more the relationship between families and
the school is a real partnership, the more student
achievement increases. When schools
engage families in ways that are linked to
improving learning, students make greater gains.
When families are engaged in positive ways, rather
than labeled as problems, schools can be
transformed from places where only certain
students prosper to one where all children do well.”
From Beyond the Bake Sale
*
Working with Families
Key Principles, Terms and Concepts
The Continuum of Parental Involvement
1.Engagement
2.Participation
3.Empowerment
4.Graduation
*
Engage brownies
Engage!
“I’ll give you five buck for that brownie!”
Fam work principles
Staff and parents form: Interlocking
partnerships
Staff view parents as:
Collaborators
Family-friendly work is: Cultural rather than
Compartmental
cueing
Assumptions (or lack thereof)…
Strength-based practice does not assume
LARGE problems require LARGE
efforts for solutions.
One-Line Raps
Coping Thoughts
Produce catchy mantras that can create neuropathways
The brain is designed to change in response to patterned,
repetitive stimulation.
Key: Use Rhythm, Repetition, Rhyming, and Humor
Proven winners:
“NBD (No big deal) …easier than one, two, three!”
“When you get mad, don’t do bad, just talk or walk..”
“Let it go, Joe! Just stay cool no need to blow.”
“Don’t move all over the place, sit and learn with a
happy face.”
mulford
Stop and
Stop and think…
Don’t be a dink!
Stop and listen…
Cause you don’t know what
you’re missin’!
Don’t be silly
Cover your willy!
If you
If you hurt number one…
It’s never better when
you’re done..
Boot c
I can make it if I choose
Only I can make me lose!
I can make it if I choose
Time to kick the drugs and booze!
If you lose hope
Don’t do dope!
If it is to be, it’s up to me!
music
From Musicophelia by Oliver Sacks
William James in 1890 wrote:
“Human’s have a susceptibility to music.”
Active participation in music creates a bond between
the participants.
“While music can calm us, animate us, comfort us, thrill us,
or serve to organize and synchronize us at work or play – it
may be especially powerful and have great therapeutic
potential.”
I can,
I will…
I gotta chill
And when I do
It’s quite a thrill!
Let it go, Joe
Let it go, Joe
Just stay cool
No need to blow
Read a word…
Read a letter
Every step…
makes it better!
Write a letter…
Write a story
Every sentence…
brings me glory!
I can do it...I can do it
Getting along
Getting along keeps me strong
Getting along is my favorite song
To make a friend you gotta treat kids nice
From me to you here’s some advice…
Give kids their space
It’s their place
Don’t poke it’s not a joke
Don’t make the noise if it annoys
Take turns when you talk
If you don’t, the kids will walk
classification
The Classification Song
There are eight levels of classification… Yeah, eight!
There are eight levels of classification… Really eight!
We classify living things into groups, so that
organisms are easier to study.
We classify things…into groups…..Into Groups
(Faster) Taxonomy is the science of classification!
…Classification!
(Slower) Taxonomy is the s-c-i-e-n-c-e of classification
(Slow) And Linnaeus invented a naming system..
called binomial nomenclature.
(Still slow) And each organism is given a two-part name
(slowly) A two-part name
(Fast) The genus is the first part which is capitalized!
- Hey it’s Capitalized
Never give up
Never Give Up
The pain inside just multiplies
Behind closed doors, a young boy cries
The monster roars, innocence dies
Emotions flare, hate fills his eyes
He hears a voice:
Never give up, never lose hope. Fight through the pain, learn to cope
“Can’t do it,” he screams
“Got no one, got no dreams.
Tortured nights are my companion. Pain is deep as the Grand Canyon.”
The voice gets louder:
Never give up, never lose hope. Fight through the pain, learn to cope
You are amazing, a gift to the world. Let your awesomeness unfurl.
“I don’t know if I can?
Sometimes I feel like a shell of a man.
Even when I do smile and laugh. Hiding scars from broken glass.
Colors to me, are far too grey. I’ve struggled so hard to find my way.
And the voice is piercing!
Never give up, never lose hope. Fight through the pain, learn to cope
You are amazing, a gift to the world. Let your awesomeness unfurl.
Never give up, never give up….
He hears these words and starts to grin
Cause they’re coming from within!!!!
Don’t y
Don’t yell
Gently t-e-l-l
Don’t yell
Gently t-e-l-l
As they get louder, you get quiet
C’mon mom, it’s time to try it!
Hey mom, hey dad, your kid’s aren’t a rental
You’ve got to know ‘em developmental
Routines
Dinner at six
Shower at Eight
Bed at nine, cause it’s getting late
All families need routines
Just like kids hate eating greens!
Cueing Exercise