Everyday Negotiation Skills
Michael D. Rust, J.D.
Executive Director
How do people resolve conflict?
Avoidance
Negotiation
Mediation
Lower cost of resolution
More control of outcome by parties
Arbitration
Litigation
Violence
Higher cost of resolution
Less control of outcome by parties
Negotiation
• All of us are negotiating at
all times
• We should learn how to
Question
• If I told you that there was a nut
that I needed taken off a bolt,
what tool would you use?
• Wrench
• Fingers
• WD40
• The right tool at the wrong time is
the wrong tool
What does a negotiation look like?
Offer
Counter
Offer
Offer
Counter
Offer
Acceptance
Counter
Offer
Acceptance
Tool #1
Interest Based
Negotiation
Distributive vs. Interest Based
•
•
•
•
Win – Lose vs. Win – Win
No sharing info vs. Sharing Info
Get the pie vs. Expand the pie
Positions vs. Interests
Interest Based Negotiation
• Expand the pie
• More than “win-lose”
• Not mere compromise
• Example
• Looks to parties’ interests
• Not positions
• “Why?”
• Getting to Yes
• Fisher & Ury
• Patton
• 200 pages
Tool #2
Listening
Listening
• Mia: "When other people talk, do
you listen, or do you wait to
talk?"
• Vincent: "I wait to talk."
Active Listening
• Take a breath
• Studies show
people listen at
only a 25%
effectiveness
level
• Remove
distractions
• Focus on
listening as
your first
priority
• Not simply
Parroting what
they said
• Not a Bobblehead
Tool #3
Talk to Them (not
yourself)
Communication Preferences
• There is no “right way” to
communicate
• People will find you more
interesting if you communicate with
them the way that they prefer to
communicate
• More believable
• More persuasive
Communication Example
• Communicate in the way the
listener is listening
• Not the way you want to
communicate
Recognizable Communication Types
• Dominance
Person places
emphasis on
accomplishing
results, the
bottom line,
confidence
• Speak in bullet
points!
• Focus on the
solution, not the
problem
• Influence
Person places
emphasis on
influencing or
persuading
others, openness,
relationships
• Start with a
story!
• Don’t overload
with details
Recognizable Communication Types
• Steadiness
Person places
emphasis on
cooperation,
sincerity,
dependability
• Give them time!
• Be amiable and
personal
• Conscientiousness
Person places
emphasis on
quality and
accuracy,
expertise,
competency
• Data, data, data,
data, data!
• Leave out
emotional appeal
This Presentation is a Negotiation
• I try to talk to all styles in
one presentation
• Bullet points
• Stories
• Cartoons
• Utilizing experts
Tool #4
Recognize Differences,
Not Wrongs
Actual Example
Tool #5
Good Communication
Communication
• Word choice
• Exceptionally important
• Nonverbal
• Body language
• Appearance
• Tone
• Pace
• Location
Electronic Communication
• Email is fantastic tool
• Txting is gr8 2
• We are excluding 93%!
• :-)
• Not very professional
Tool #6 (The BIG One)
Preparation
Biggest Tip
• Prepare for Negotiation
• Why would you prepare for a
business pitch and not a
negotiation?
• Know your BATNA/WATNA
• “Know” their BATNA/WATNA
• Know what you will accept
• Plan your concession strategy
BATNA/WATNA/MLATNA
• Must consider your
and their BATNA
and WATNA
• Best Alternative To
a Negotiated
Agreement
• Provides a “best case
scenario” to compare
settlement offers
• Worst Alternative
To a Negotiated
Agreement
• Provides a “worst-
Decision Tree Analysis
Don’t Get Caught in a Negotiation You Aren’t
Ready For
• Martin Latz – Former White
House negotiator
• Never answer the phone and
negotiate. Find an excuse to call
them back, prepare, and then call
them back and negotiate.
Plan Your Concession Strategy
Offer
Counter
Offer
Counter
Offer
Counter
Offer
Acceptance
Recap
• Tool 1
• Interest Based
Negotiation
• Tool 2
• Listen
• Tool 3
• Talk to Them
(not yourself)
• Tool 4
• Recognize
Differences,
Not Wrongs
• Tool 5
• Good
Communication
• Tool 6 (The
BIG One)
• Always be
Prepared
Thank you
Any questions?