CONFLICT RESOLUTION
WEEK 5De-escalating Conflict
Lesson in Brief: Students explore the concept of de-escalating conflict and learn the
CAPS formula for de-escalation.
Objectives: Students will be able to..
 Explain the acronym CAPS;
 Identify the skills needed for de-escalating conflict using CAPS;
 Apply the CAPS approach to hypothetical conflict.
Vocabulary:
De-escalate- The process by which conflict becomes less volatile.
Introduction:
CAPS
Handout: Coming Down the Conflict Escalator
Note-Acknowledge that this is a review. Explain that this lesson will go into the
concept in more depth.
1. Review the conflict escalator (I.e. as conflicts get worse, they escalate, which
is like going to the top of an escalator. In order to resolve conflict, we have to
get it to come down the escalator. This is called de-escalating conflict.
2. Draw an up escalator on the board, and then add four steps going down.
Distribute the Coming Down the Conflict Escalator handout.
3. Share the following information…There is a formula for coming down the
escalator that is called CAPS. The letters stand for
C- Calm down
A-Agree to work it out
P-Point of view on the problem
S-Solve the Problem
4. Read the following to the class…
Maria and Sondra are sisters who are at the top of the escalator. Maria was
talking on the phone to a friend. Sondra kept asking her to get off the phone.
After the fourth time, she walked in and hung up the phone on Maria. Now
they are yelling at each other.
5. Have the students find partners and take two minutes to discuss how Maria
and Sondra might use CAPS to come down the escalator. After two minutes,
bring the class back together to discuss the conflict as suggested here. As
students make suggestions for each step, record their suggestions on the
diagram on the board.
DISCUSSION…
 How might Maria and Sondra calm down? (Emphasize that they can
still be angry, but they must be reasonably calm in order to discuss
the conflict at all)
 What could they say to each other to agree to work it out? What might
be the first thing one of them says?
 How would each girl describe the problem?
 What are some ways they could solve the problem?
ActivitiesActivity A- CAPS Practice
Handouts- CAPS Conflicts
1) Divide students into groups of 3 or 4. Distribute the appropriate CAPS
Conflicts handout to the groups. Have each group devise a plan for deescalating the conflict using the CAPS formula. Give them about 7-10 minutes
of this, then have them discuss with the whole class. (Optional Variation- You
could have students role-play for the group how they would use the CAPS
approach to de-escalate conflicts in the case studies, then discuss)
DISCUSSION…
 How did you de-escalate your conflict?
 What were some ideas you had about calming down?
 What were some ways to Agree to Work it Out?
 What were the various perspectives on the problem?
 What possible solutions did your group come up with?
Activity B- Quick Decision De-escalation
a) Have students work in groups of 3 or 4. Explain that you are going to read
them conflict situations and they will have 60 seconds to de-escalate the
conflict. They may use all or part of the CAPS approach or any other deescalation ideas they may have. Situations are….
 You accidentally bumped into another student in the hall. Now he or
she wants to fight you. How would you de-escalate the situation?
 You’re at a basketball game and the other school lost. After the game,
a student from that school says, “you think you guys are so tough.
Let’s see you fight.” How would you de-escalate the situation?
 You said something to the new student during class to encourage him
or her. You meant it as a compliment, but he or she thought you were
being insulting. Now he or she is threatening you in the hall. How
would you de-escalate the situation?
 A student who used to be a good friend of yours is now accusing you
of spreading rumors about his or her family members. How would you
de-escalate the situation?
 A friend of yours comes up and says, “I’ve had it with you. You can’t
keep a secret no matter how important it is. You’re not my friend
anymore.” Then he or she stalks off. You have no idea what this friend
is talking about. How would you de-escalate the situation?
Activity C- Practice “Agreeing to Work It Out”
Handout- Five Ways to Make an Offer
1) One of the most common sticking points in conflict resolution is Agreeing to
Work It Out. Many times young people simply don’t know how to turn the
conflict around. They may not know what to say, how to indicate their
willingness to talk, or even how to avoid escalating the conflict further. There
are 3 parts to Agreeing to Work It Out: Avoiding Behavior that Escalates,
Willingness to Work it Out, and Making an Offer.
2) Avoiding Further Escalation- Briefly remind students about how conflicts
escalate. Ask the students, “What are some behaviors that cause conflicts to
escalate?” Record responses on the board.
3) Explain that to work out conflicts and come to win-win solutions, we must
avoid behavior that makes the conflict escalate further. Ask for two
volunteers to be in a skit (Use one of the scenarios from Week2). While
volunteers are reading over the script, explain to the class that the two
players have been in a conflict and have calmed down. The think they are
ready to work things out. But the class should listen and watch for escalating
behavior and remarks.
4) Have the players present the skit.
DISCUSSION…
 What escalating remarks did you hear?
 What escalating behaviors did you see?
 What remarks/behaviors were the worst or most escalating?
 How could the disputants have said what they needed to say without
escalating the conflict?
5) Assessing Willingness- Explain that to work out conflicts, people must be
willing to work them out. If they say escalating things, then they are probably
not willing or ready to work things out. Ask, “What are some other signs
people might not be willing to work things out?” (I.e. not being willing to
listen, interrupting, blaming, etc.)
6) Making an Offer- Distribute the 5 Ways to Make an Offer handout. Explain
that to start the process of working things out someone has to make an offer.
Go over the handout with the class and discuss,
DISCUSSION…
 What are some things that get in the way of making an offer?
 Can you give an example of a time you made an offer using one of
these?
 What are some other ways to make an offer?
7) Divide students into two groups to role-play. Have the two groups line up
facing each other. Designate the lines as “A” and “B”. Using one of the 3 role
plays (Library liability, curfew conflict, grounded over grades), explain the
situation to the class, then give each line their role. Their goal is to deescalate the conflict by making an offer using one of the possibilities on the
worksheet. They will have two minutes after the starting signal to do so. If
they agree to work it out, they should begin to problem-solve.
8) Start the role-play. After two minutes, stop the role-play and discuss.
DISCUSSION…
 Who made an offer first?
 How did it feel to use these words?
 What made it hard to make an offer?
 Did anyone get into problem solving? What did you say or do?
9) Blocks to Making an Offer- Explain that it’s easier to talk about making an
offer than to do it. Ask for volunteers to stand in the middle of the room to
read the handout. Huddle with the volunteers first, so the class can’t see what
you are doing. Give each volunteer a piece of tape to put over his or her
mouth. Tell them that when you give the signal they should try to read one of
the phrases on the handout through the tape. The class will try to guess
which phrase they are reading.
10)Give a signal and have the volunteers face the class. One by one have them
read the phrases on the handout while the class tries to guess which phrase
they are reading. When everyone has finished, tell the volunteers to carefully
remove the tape.
DISCUSSION…
 How did it feel to make an offer with tape on your mouth?
 What made it difficult?
 How is trying to make an offer like trying to talk with tape on your
mouth?
 What are some things that make it hard for us to make an offer? (What
gets in the way)
 What would help make it easier?
Additional Information: Feel free to give out, or show on the projector, and briefly
review any of the handouts “Active Listening Guidelines”, “Communication Potholes”,
“More Practice Making I Messages”. If you do this, feel free to briefly discuss with
students why these skills/this information is relevant to de-escalating conflict.
Wrap-Up
o Review what CAPS stands for (C-calm down; A-Agree to work it out;
P-point of view on the problem; S-solve the problem)
o Various skills are needed at each step down the escalator. We have
discussed Calm Down skills.