Wedding Crashers
MC OC 9-14-15 INT. JOHN’S APARTMENT knock. JOHN trudges to answer it.
JEREMY: Happy birthday…can’t let a little pissin’ and moanin’ break tradition
JOHN: Right. That’s today. (leaves the door open and lets him in)
JEREMY: Good! What’ve you been up to?
JOHN: Eh, ya know, this and that, crashing weddings.
JEREMY: Alone??
JOHN: No (beat) with Chaz…
JEREMY: You don’t even know Chaz!
JOHN: Yes I do, he’s a great guy! We’ve been having a ball together!
JEREMY: Alright look, I wanted to come by here and tell you that I feel really bad about everything
that’s happened between us. Your friendship means a lot to me. I miss seeing you.
JOHN: ….I know. Look, I’m happy for you. I’m glad you found someone.
JEREMY: I can’t tell you how glad it makes me to hear you say that man. (hugs JOHN, they both laugh
and embrace)
JEREMY : It’s good to see you!
JOHN: It’s good to see you too!
JEREMY: Listen I’m getting married!
JOHN: Get out!
JEREMY: What?? You just sat there and said you’re happy for me that…
JOHN: I’m hangin’ by a thread! I’m reading don’t kill yourself books…
JEREMY: John. You’ve been my friend for sixteen years. I’m getting married. I need you there to be my
best man.
JOHN: KINDLY. LEAVE.
JEREMY: I’m….
JOHN: Kindly leave.
JEREMY (starts towards door, then stops, turns back): It’d mean a lot to me if you came.
JOHN: OUT! OUT!
JEREMY: You better get your ass to my wedding! (leaves)