Book Review for 11/17/02 by Rita Noel
Title: "Leadership and Self-Deception"
Author: The Arbinger Institute
Publisher: Bennett-Kohler Publishers, San Francisco
Length: 171 pages
Price: $22.00
Reading time: 3-4 hours
Reading rating: 9 (1 = very difficult; 10 = very easy)
Overall rating: 4 (1 = average; 4 = outstanding)
We are cautioned not to choose a book by its cover, but many of us are influenced by its
title. So it was with "Leadership and Self-Deception," a title that is truly provocative. It is
difficult enough to deal with deception at any level, but self-deception sounds like the
ultimate curse.
The Arbinger Institute, a well-known management training and consulting firm, is
dedicated to helping people cope with organizational change. They ask the following
questions: "How can people simultaneously (1) create their own problems, (2) be unable
to see that they are creating their own problems, and yet (3) resist any attempts to help
them stop creating those problems." Families, individuals, and organizations all resist
solutions. This quick read captures the essence of self-deception and how it affects our
behavior towards ourselves and others. The process of self-deception blinds us to reality
and the cause of our problems. It creates a self-defeating habit to preserve our self-image
and thus refutes solutions for the problems. We need the problems to be who we think we
are.
Written as a short, engaging fictional novel, Tom the newly hired executive, is mentored
through the process by other executives who have themselves "seen people as objects,"
"pushed family members away by blaming and criticizing," and mistreated subordinates
in an attempt to control and "fix" their behavior. Each chapter introduces us to how selfdeception makes us incapable of honest relationships with others and what we can do to
learn not to "resist" being of help to others.
Tom soon comes to realize that no matter what we are doing on the outside, people
respond primarily to how we're feeling about them on the inside. As we say in the South,
"anyone can talk the talk, but you've got to walk the walk" to be genuine and not driven
by self-serving goals. Putting this concept of treating everyone as a real person into all of
our actions, is one that takes practice and self-discipline, especially when the driver in
front of you cuts you off changing lanes at 70 miles per hour.
Recognizing that everyone's problems and lives are as important to them as yours are to
you helps develop understanding when observing the behaviors of others. Learning to
live mindfully with this truth is not learning to cope, not learning to change your own
behavior, but rather it is learning how not to resist what you feel you should do for others.
Successful leaders are free of self-deception.
If you see everyone in your company as a problem, and yourself as the victim of their
incompetence….read this book!
Rita Thomas Noel is an associate professor in Business and Computer Information
Systems in the College of Business at Western Carolina University. She is currently
teaching a new Freshman Survey Course, the Information Society at Work and Play and
is researching the affects of the Internet on American health care.