BSF® Home Training Lesson
®
The Life of Moses Lesson 16
Teaching Your Child to Deal With Sin
God wants His people to be sorry for their sins.
Your child is old enough to begin understanding sin and
the consequences of it. He will need your help not only to
learn what behavior is sinful but the appropriate way to
deal with it, both when he perpetrates the wrong and when
someone sins against him.
Confession, repentance and forgiveness are not
innate. Your child needs to be introduced to these crucial
attitudes and actions and taught to incorporate them into
his life.
“Yes, I did it.”
You want your child to admit when he does wrong
things. But it is unrealistic to expect a very young child
to confess sin when he often does not understand that his
actions are wrong.
With gracious, loving guidance help your child to
understand when his behavior contradicts God’s standard.
Teach him the instructions God has given for right behavior.
When he does sin, admonish your child and state clearly
what was wrong. Speak directly to him, “Son, taking
candy from Mrs. Johnson’s house without her permission
is not right.” Identify the behavior by name: “Taking what
is not yours is called stealing. God says stealing is a sin.”
Guard against overreacting, particularly to a first
offense, which could create reluctance, resentment or unnecessary fear. Avoid embarrassing your child. If wrong
behavior has previously been allowed, laughed at or in
some other way condoned, the parent ought to give a
clear explanation before issuing a reprimand. Frequently,
a discussion of inappropriate behavior needs to occur in
private or be reviewed later with more detailed explanations and opportunity to answer a child’s questions or
offer clarification of the matter.
As you train your child, trust that God will
nourish and expand your child’s understanding of exactly
what is right and wrong. In a reasonable period of time,
your child will begin to acknowledge, “Yes, I did it.”
When this occurs, be prepared to accept lovingly every
honest confession.
“I am sorry.”
Repentance occurs when your child knows his
behavior was wrong, admits dismay over his sin and tries
not to repeat the offense.
This pattern of response is taught by modeling the
appropriate words and actions. With your child in hand,
go to Mrs. Johnson and say, “John should not have taken
The Life of Moses Lesson 16 | www.bsfinternational.org
the candy. We feel bad about what he has done. John,
would you tell Mrs. Johnson you are sorry?” If your son
is too shy or embarrassed to speak, verbalize for him,
“I am sorry, Mrs. Johnson. Please forgive us. John and
I will talk about this some more later.”
Sensitivity to God makes “I’m sorry” more forthcoming. Talk about God’s standards. Teach your child
Bible stories about people (David, Zacchaeus, Peter) who
were sorry for disobeying God. Help him think of other
people’s feelings by talking with him about how bad he
feels when someone does a wrong thing to him or his
property. Help your child understand that to do wrong to
another person is to sadden God’s heart as well. Pray that
as your child grows in love for God, he will grow in his
desire to do only what pleases his Heavenly Father.
Even though your preschooler does not say or may
not “feel” sorry for his sin, at his age it is correct for the
parent to speak the words or help the child to do so.
Patiently show him what is the appropriate response
when he does something wrong. What initially may be
only an echo of the parent’s words will eventually take
on meaning for your child.
“Please forgive me.”
There is a difference between “I am sorry” and
“forgive me.” Teach your child to express both statements.
Begin his experience at home with your own example.
When you lose your patience, are unkind or rude
to your child, admit it and ask his forgiveness. Face to
face, say, “Son, will you please forgive Mom for the
way I acted when you knocked over the cereal bowl?
I know you did not mean to spill, and it was unkind of
me to talk that way to you. I am sorry and am going to
try hard with God’s help to be more patient and kind.”
Expect a hug and acceptance from your child; help him
verbalize, “Yes, I forgive you.” Then, hopefully, when
your child is given the opportunity to forgive someone
outside his family, your example will have prepared him
to respond appropriately.
Practical helps
Here are some ideas that will enable you to reinforce lovingly the teaching of confession, repentance and
forgiveness to your child:
•
Read and memorize Scripture with your child.
Include verses about sin. Learn the 10
Commandments. Discuss what they mean.
Make applications on your child’s level.
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•
Commend right behavior. Notice when your child
overcomes temptation and give him praise. Call
attention to behavior that is Christlike. Reward a
forgiving spirit.
•
Deal promptly with each day’s behavior.
Introduce confession and repentance as part of
evening prayer time. Teach your child how to ask
forgiveness from friends, family and from God.
•
Use the designation of “sin” with care. Help your
child understand what behavior is sin. A sincere
and honest childish mistake may be inappropriate, but it is hardly sin. Inappropriate behavior
can result from many causes that have no root in
defiance or willful disobedience. (Wearing mismatched socks may be wrong but it is not sin.)
•
Model right behavior. Be forgiving. A child
notices how Mom or Dad deals with sin. Ask
forgiveness. Acknowledge consequences.
•
Evaluate your initial and instinctive response to a
child’s wrong actions. An adult who has strongly
unpleasant and harsh reactions may begin seeing
a child defend himself by lying or refusing to
admit his wrong. Remember it takes courage to
admit wrongdoing; be appreciative of this.
•
•
Refrain from calling your child “bad” when he
misbehaves. God’s creations are good although
their behavior frequently is not. Identify the
behavior as bad, but not the child himself.
Agree with your spouse on the action and words
to be taught your child when he sins. Discuss
consequences and punishment. Consistency
is important.
To learn and practice confession, repentance and
forgiveness requires humility of spirit. May this trait of
the Lord Jesus develop and thrive in you and your child.
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