24. Jealousy \ Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
Pathways in Personality Development
24. Jealousy
Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
Written by student
One of the undesirable traits that people sometimes suffer from is jealousy. A person infected
with this trait is most unfortunate. Jealousy sows destruction, for it is like a disease that eats
away at a person from the inside. This is what the wise King Solomon meant when he said
that “envy is the rottenness of the bones” (Proverbs 14:30).
Sometimes a person enjoys a good life and is perfectly happy with what he has, unaware
that his friend possesses something that he himself lacks. When he finds out about his
fellow, he becomes jealous and is no longer satisfied with his own lot. There is no logic to
envy. Jealousy makes a person ignorant and foolish. If his friend did not have this extra
possession, he would be happy with what he has. Since, however, he now sees what his
fellow has, he is upset. Yet why should what another person has disturb him? What good
does it do to be jealous?
Of course, the source of the matter is a lack of faith. A person who has faith does not
become jealous. Such a person knows that everything comes from God, that the Creator
gives every person exactly what he ought to have. He understands that everything is for the
best, and “no man can touch what is prepared for his fellow even to the extent of one hair's
breadth” (Yoma 38b). The believer does not become jealous and would gain no enjoyment
by having what his fellow possesses.
Jealousy is common among members of the same trade. One is likely to be bothered by the
fact that his competitor is more successful than he? It hurts and is humiliating. Sometimes a
person does not notice just how much jealousy eats at him, how much he sufferers from it.
Therefore, it is important that a person be aware of the actual damage this trait causes. This
awareness alone elevates a person and allows him to prevent jealousy's expansion to a
certain degree.
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24. Jealousy \ Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
Pathways in Personality Development
It is wrong to compare oneself with others because no two people are alike, not in
appearance and not in character. Every person is a unique and inimitable creature, and
every person has a role of his own according to his own makeup. Each one of us has virtues
and vices. It is impossible to measure the virtues of one against the virtues of another,
because people are different by nature. One person is intelligent, a second has refined
character traits. One is healthy, a second rich.
Another reason that it is impossible to compare two people is that nobody knows what the
future will bring. Things may appear to be going good for somebody at the moment, but who
knows what will be tomorrow. And the opposite as well, things may not be looking good at
present, but tomorrow everything could change for the better.
Why envy another person's temporarily good fortune? So long as a person cannot see
things with the sort of comprehensive and complete view that examines past and future and
grasps everything as a whole, there is no reason to envy another or to want to be like him. It
is not at all certain that he is really any better off. To the contrary, it is certain that each one
has exactly what he needs, and each is definitely entitled to be happy with his lot.
In short, jealousy stems from a narrow and limited view of things. A person becomes jealous
because he does not see the future or the past but merely looks at a certain detail which
appears to indicate that his fellow is better off. Discard this narrow view of things and avoid
the suffering.
Sometimes, however, jealousy can be helpful. It can rouse a person from slumber and
stimulate him to progress. Therefore, the sages teach that “emulative zeal increases
intelligence." Indeed, jealousy that stimulates a person is a positive thing, but it is
nevertheless preferable to find other methods of inspiration and self-fulfillment. Progress
needs to come from an inner impulse and not from a desire to obtain what somebody else
has.
Therefore the sages teach: "In the period of the footsteps of the Messiah, the wisdom of
scholars will disappear. This, apparently, is on account of the fact that it comes from
emulative zeal and jealousy causes decay. And regarding the Days to Come it is written:
"The envy also of Ephraim shall depart, and the adversaries of Judah shall be cut off;
Ephraim shall not envy Judah, and Judah shall not harass Ephraim" (Isaiah 11:13).
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24. Jealousy \ Rabbi Zalman Baruch Melamed
Pathways in Personality Development
--Some of the translated biblical verses in the above article were taken from, or based upon,
Davka's Soncino Judaic Classics Library (CD-Rom).
E-mail : beitel@yeshiva.org.il
For more Shiurim from the site: www.yeshiva.org.il
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