A LIFE OF NUMBERS
a play by
Megan Gerity
West Windsor-Plainsboro High School South
McCarter Theatre
Youth Ink! Festival Selection 2007
©2007
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Cast of Characters
CHILD
At the age of 8, this child began HER menstruation cycle. She constantly
compares herself to her friends, who still look like they are 5 years old. She
acts much older but still has a childish voice. She contemplates life much
more than the average 8 year old. She has developed significantly and she
could pass for a 12 year old.
PRE-TEEN
At the age of 12, this pre-teenager develops an eating disorder known as
Anorexia NOS. Anorexia NOS is a combination of starving and purging,
along with a mix of obsessive eating habits and rituals. There are times
when SHE is in an obsessive purge cycle and there are times when she is in
obsessive restriction cycle. Since she is bi-polar it only makes her swings
between eating disorders that much worse.
TEENAGER
At the age of 14, this teenager is recovering from a long held addiction with
an eating disorder. SHE is not only trying to recover from her eating
disorder but she is also trying to find her place in life. She is struggling
with her first year of high school but managed to end the year with a 3.0;
impressive to her doctor because of what went on - but she realizes that
number will not be impressive to the college admissions board.
YOUNG ADULT
At the age of 17, this teenager is planning a life for herself. SHE is looking
into colleges and she is very passionate about her dream. She wishes to
work with children in the field of mental health and wants to obtain her
PhD once she is in graduate school. The only thing that worries her is the
fact that she is horrible at standardized tests and she wishes she could just
write on huge essay on everything instead of taking the SAT.
[THE VOICE
A disembodied voice of unspecified origin.]
Playwright’s Note
Each character is sitting down and is separated by a wall. They seem to be talking to the voice,
but the voice is, for the most part, is unknown. Each character, depending on her age, could be
reacting differently to the voice. Their conversations end and begin sporadically. Every time one
of the girls end, another girl begins. The answers are completed when the voice asks another
question. All of the girls are intertwined. Each girl is within her own present time and all of the
girls are talking to the voice who is interested in what is going on in each of their lives.
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AT RISE:
The girls are each in their own room. At first, they
chant/sing/pray. Each girl has her head down until she is
ready to answer the question presented by the voice.
TIME:
Based on the lighting it looks as though this scene takes
place during the afternoon. It is hard to tell what time
exactly because the room in which the girls are in is poorly
lit.
YOUNG CHILD
(In a pain stricken voice)
Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee;
Blessed art thou among women,
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
(Brief silence)
PRE-TEEN
(Singing in a heartbreaking voice)
We'll all look the same someday
And even now the robot starts to think
I wonder what it dreams. * (Repeat x3)
(Brief silence)
TEENAGER
(In a serious tone)
The Earth is my Mother.
I shall not want.
Her hand brings forth the green pastures.
She tarries within the still waters.
She leads me in fields of fruitfulness for my Glory.
Yea, as I walk through the summer of life unto death,
I will not be afraid, for You are with me.
Your womb in the earth will enfold me.
You prepare a harvest before me and bless my home with children.
You fill me with milk and honey.
My cup overflows.
Surely, goodness and beauty will nurture me all the days of my life,
and I will become part of the earth forever.
(Brief Silence)
*
“A00001,” by Thursday.
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YOUNG ADULT
Om Tare Tuttare Ture Svaha (Repeat x3, each time slightly louder)
(Brief Silence)
THE VOICE
You look as though you have been "climbing the walls" of your own home, why is that?
YOUNG CHILD
(Extremely nervous)
Every time I get this curse I stay home all week. I am embarrassed; I am two years early maybe
even more. My friends haven't got it yet. It can last for 5 days, sometimes longer. (Pause.) Why
me?
PRE-TEEN
(Annoyed at herself)
I couldn't go out today, my friends wanted to eat lunch at 3:00. I wanted to stay home, I wish I
didn't. I ended up having 1/4 of a bagel with 2tsp of honey. 95 calories total. I can only have 5
more calories today. There is no way I could have gone out with my friends and risk having more
than 5 calories. (Pause.) Why me? Why now?
TEENAGER
(Serious)
Every time I go out, I act out; I don't want to embarrass my friends or myself. I had 1200 calories
today, it's good, for now - they say. I am 110 lbs. I feel disgusting; they say I need to gain 10
more lbs. I don't want anyone to see me in public, not like this. (Pause.) Why me? Why now?
When will this end?
YOUNG ADULT
(Angry, but not at herself or the voice)
I have been stuck inside studying for this stupid exam. I got everything right so far. 100% in this
section, no time limit, on my own in a calm environment. However, I took the practice test. I did
not get 100%, more like 60%. I do not know what is wrong with me. I think it is the timing, I get
nervous. 3 hours, 3 minutes, 3 seconds, times up. It all makes me quench. I don't want to be
labeled with a number anymore. Why me? Why now? When will this end? When will things
change?
THE VOICE
You look...
YOUNG CHILD
Older, I know...but… eh, I don’t know. It’s just that everyone tells me that. My mom took me to
Victoria Secret to get measured for a bra, I am a 34 B. That is bigger then most girls at the age of
12! I don't think it's a good thing, but the lady who measured me said I am lucky. I think I am
cursed. I wish I were a 32 AA, or less, if possible.
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PRE-TEEN
Skinny, I know. Everyone tells me that… but I’m not skinny at all! I am 95 lbs. I want to loose 10
more lbs, then I will consider myself skinny. I am 5"4, and my BMI will be at 14.6 - I think that’s
perfect. I have a BMI of 16.3 now, an 18 BMI is underweight. I want to be at least 4.0 less than
the BMI of 18.
TEENAGER
Healthy, I know but I think I look gross still. People think there isn't much going on in my life
because of the way I look. Society is so obsessed with the exterior of someone and how that
person pretends to be someone - it is amazing, really. I am 110 lbs, I am somewhat healthy. My
doctor doesn't think so, but that is because he knows me. My friends think I am healthy but that is
because they don't know me. 2 years ago, everyone obsessed over how skinny I was. Now they
pretend that all of those thoughts and feelings I had are magically gone because it is 2 years later
and I am not 85 lbs anymore.
YOUNG ADULT
Tired, I know but I am always tired. There is only so much I can do. I am a free thinker and
having to be tied down with my face in a book, which is so un-interesting, makes me feel like a
robot. I have gone over this problem, it is easy but when I see it on the test, in a room, which is
full of stressed out energy, I will blank out. The graph above shows Jessica's height in inches from
the age of 7 to the age of 17. Jessica's height at the age of 17 was what percent greater than her
height at the age of 7, according the graph above.
THE VOICE
Actually, I was going to say you look like you have a lot on your mind. My intentions are not to
know you physically; I want to know what you have been thinking.
YOUNG CHILD
(Very nervous, as if what she said before was wrong or not a good
enough answer)
Oh, sorry, I guess I have become obsessed. It's all about my bra size, my height, my age, these
numbers. I have no time to look inside myself and see what is really going on.
PRE TEEN
(Somewhat agitated, but with anyone in particular)
Oh, sorry, I guess I have become obsessed. It's all about my weight, calories, my BMI, these
numbers. I have no time to look inside myself and see what is really going on.
TEENAGER
(Apologetic)
Oh, sorry, I guess I have become obsessed. It's all about getting my weight up, my BMI up, my
calories up, these numbers up. I have no time to look inside myself and see what is really going
on.
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YOUNG ADULT
(Annoyed, but not at the voice or herself)
Oh sorry, I guess I have become obsessed. It's all about my scores, my GPA, my percentage, these
numbers. I have no time to look inside myself and see what is really going on.
THE VOICE
What is really going on? If you looked inside yourself, would you know?
YOUNG CHILD
(ashamed)
I can't.
PRE TEEN
(unsure)
I might.
TEENAGER
(hopeful)
I'll try.
YOUNG ADULT
I can.
THE VOICE
Can you elaborate on that?
YOUNG CHILD
I can't express this thing I feel. I don't know what I am feeling, I feel lost. I don't know how to
describe the feeling of being lost though; I can't explain this to you. Even if I tried, you don't
really know me.
PRE-TEEN
I might be able to express my feelings inside. I don't want to tell you, I don't trust you fully. How
do I know you won't send me away? I feel like I have already told you too much. What if I leave
here and 5 minutes rolls by and somebody comes to pick me up and take me away to a hospital. I
rather hide underneath my sweatshirt and not try to do anything.
TEENAGER
I can try to express my feelings inside. One thing I say may contradict another thing I say,
because I am still in the process of sorting my priorities out. I don't want you to judge me, you
barely know me so it is easy for you to judge me.
YOUNG ADULT
I can express my feelings inside. It has taken me a long time to get to this point. I use to say I
can't, I might, I'll try and now because I have found myself and my purpose I can tell you what I
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am feeling. I feel like I am a robot, trying to fake my way into a college so I can be real, and do
something that doesn't involve being a robot. The reason I say, (shows quotation hand motions
hand motions) "Fake my way into a college," is because I have to somehow achieve a certain
number just to get noticed. 2000 on the SAT is my minimum goal; I can't get any lower then a 3.4
GPA, (whispers) which isn't even that good to begin with. (Speaks normally again) I am not a
number; I am a person with real feelings and real charisma. I have experienced a lot and I want to
help people realize their true potential, I don't want kids of the next generation to feel as though
they are a number, like I am feeling now and like I have felt in the past. Even though I barely
know you, I don't mind telling you this - even a stranger can be my brother.
THE VOICE
You are shaking, why are you shaking? Is there something you’re not telling me?
YOUNG CHILD
I didn't even notice, I think I might be nervous. I never really had this kind of talk with somebody
before. This session is how long? 10 minutes? It is hard to only talk about me for that long. How
long has it been so far? Only 4 minutes?
PRE-TEEN
I didn't even notice, I think I might be a bit weak. I had 85 calories today. I had 1/4 cup of low-fat
cottage cheese with 1 tsp. of raisins. I still have 15 calories left to eat, but I have to save that for
later.
TEENAGER
I didn't even notice, I think it is just a dirty habit. When I first started recovery I started to shake
my legs obsessively, it was an escape for me to not cut myself. It was sort of way to numb myself
by moving around constantly. I can shake my legs for 4-6 hours at a time, my mom tells me to
stop, but I can't. It's not to burn calories, honestly. Even though, I burn 400 calories a day just by
doing this.
YOUNG ADULT
I didn't even notice, it is a disorder that I don't feel like taking medicine for. It's called RLS and I
am sick of taking medication. I am already on 40mg of Prozac, and 25 mg of Serquel. I want to
get off of all of my medicine but my doctor says I should stay on it for 6 more months; it's not
good to stop medication cold turkey.
THE VOICE
You’re obsessed, do you usually do this?
YOUNG CHILD
Do what? Talk so much? I don’t know, maybe it’s because I feel like I am running out of time and
it kind of, like, scares me…? That's why getting my period scared me, I feel like I lost something
and now…it’s like…I want loose what I have now.
PRE-TEEN
Do what? Talk about calories so much? They’re important to me. If I don't talk about calories I
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might forget how much I need to eat or how much I ate already. Calories define me.
TEENAGER
Do what? Justify myself? If I don't tell you how many times I do something or how much I do
something, or whatever, how will you get a clear image of who I am? Doesn't that matter?
YOUNG ADULT
Do what? Use numbers to explain myself? I could just say I take too much medicine, or it will be
a long time until I get off of all this medication. I guess it is just a habit, a habit that I hate. It
really doesn't matter how much I take, it's the fact that I am on it, I don't know why I do that. I
have used numbers to define myself, my whole entire life I have done this. I hope I won't do this
for the rest of my life.
THE VOICE
You know, it doesn't matter. I can look at you and see your suffering, the numbers you give methey don't mean anything to me.
YOUNG CHILD
Maybe they don't mean anything to you but they mean a lot to other people. When people say, oh
my god you are only 9? It matters. When people say wow you look like your 12! It matters. When
people say oh my God, how tall are you? The numbers matter. It is important for them to know
and for me to tell.
PRE-TEEN
Maybe they don't mean anything to you but they mean a lot to other people. When people say, oh
my god you’re so skinny, how much do you weigh? It matters. When people say you need to gain
20 lbs! It matters. When people say oh my God you look like your 9 years old, gain weight! The
numbers matter. It is important for them to know and for me to tell.
TEENAGER
Maybe they don't mean anything to you but they mean a lot to other people. When people say, oh
my God you look so much better, how much weight did you gain? It matters. When people say,
oh my God I can't believe how big you are getting, your 14 already! It matters. When people say I
hope you never look like you did 2 years ago. The numbers matter. It is important for them to
know and for me to tell.
YOUNG ADULT
Maybe they don't mean anything to you but they mean a lot to other people. When people say,
what did you get on your SAT? It matters. When people say, what is your GPA? It matters. When
people say when are you applying to college? The numbers matter. It is important for them to
know and for me to tell. That is just the way society is. I may not like it but I don't have a chance
to change it yet.
THE VOICE
I never really realized that before. We all say things like that though, you can't change it.
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YOUNG CHILD
I know I can't change it.
(The light on the YOUNG CHILD dims so you cannot see the
YOUNG CHILD anymore. As the light dims the YOUNG CHILD
whispers the prayer of “Our Father,” out of shame. The prayer of
the YOUNG CHILD overlaps the PRE-TEEN, the TEENAGER
and the YOUNG ADULT; but the prayer is quiet and you can easily
hear the others.)
PRE-TEEN
I wish I could change it.
(The light on the PRE-TEEN dims so you cannot see the PRETEEN anymore. As the light dims the PRE-TEEN sings lightly the
song “Paper Bag” by Fiona Apple, for comfort. The song of the
PRE-TEEN overlaps the TEENAGER and the YOUNG ADULT;
but the song is quiet and you can easily hear the others. The
YOUNG CHILD is still praying.)
“I got to fold cuz’ these hands are too shaky to hold
-hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
and I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope…
I said, honey, I don’t feel so good, don’t feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void, - she said
its all in your head, and I said, so is everything But she didn’t get it…”
TEENAGER
I can try to change it.
(The light on the TEENAGER dims so you cannot see the
TEENAGER anymore. As the light dims the TEENAGER
whispers a prayer for strength. The prayer of the TEENAGER
overlaps the YOUNG ADULT; but the prayer is quiet and you can
easily hear the other actress’. The YOUNG CHILD is still praying.
The PRE-TEEN is still singing.)
O Sacred Earth, I come to thee and ask that you accept this
sickness.
Do with it what you will. I know longer have need of it.
It is no longer important to me. I can let it go.
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(The YOUNG ADULT remains seated and the light is focused on
the YOUNG ADULT. Once the light is focused completely on the
YOUNG ADULT the YOUNG ADULT stands up and says her
line. The singing and praying of the other characters sound like
whispers- this is to represent the ghost of the past.)
YOUNG ADULT
I will change it.
THE VOICE
When will you change it? How will you change it? What can you possibly do?
YOUNG ADULT
I can do anything
(The YOUNG ADULT sits down in a meditative position on her
chair. The pose is similar to that of the Bhūmisparśa Mudrā. This,
represents taking the earth as testimony when she has resolved her
own cessation of suffering. She lightly chants “Sabbe Satta Sukhi
Hontu,” three times. The YOUNG CHILD’S prayer fades out. The
PRE-TEEN’S song then fades out. The TEENAGER’S prayer then
fades out. After the YOUNG ADULT completes her chant, the
stage is completely silent. The lights slowly fade to black.)
END OF PLAY
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Additional Notes for Actors:
Guide: Bhūmisparśa Mudrā:
Sabbe Satta Sukhi Hontu: may all beings be happy
Fiona Apple, “Paper Bag.” Lyrics to sing…
“I got to fold cuz’ these hands are too shaky to hold
-hunger hurts, but starving works, when it costs too much to love
and I went crazy again today, looking for a strand to climb
Looking for a little hope…
I said, honey, I don’t feel so good, don’t feel justified
Come on put a little love here in my void, - she said
its all in your head, and I said, so is everything But she didn’t get it…”
Define terms:
Prozac: Increases serotonin in the brain. For patients who suffer from depression
Seroquel: For patients who suffer bi-polar disorder
Anorexia NOS: Anorexia not otherwise specified. Anorexia NOS is a disorder in which the
patient never allows herself to eat above a certain amount of calories. (Example: nothing above
100 calories)
BMI: Body Mass Index, below 18 is underweight – Above 24 is overweight – 21 is average –
below 16 is diagnosed as anorexic.
Young Child: Catholic
Pre-teen: No religion
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Teenager: Wicca
Young Adult: Mahayana Buddhist
Pronunciations for Buddhist Young Adult:
First Chant:
Last Chant:
a is pronounced as u in cut
ā is pronounced as a in father
http://www.wildmind.org/realaudio/sabbesattasukhi.ram for audio