The Relationships of Mothers and Daughters
Both authors, Walker and Olsen, focus primarily on the relationships between mother and
daughter. “Everyday Use” and “I Stand Here Ironing” both focus on mothers that have concerns
about one of their daughters. Both authors focus on the roles of these two mothers and the
conflicts that develop in their relationships. These stories are narrated by the mother, so the story
is only told through the point of view of the mothers. Tillie Olsen conveys to readers how the
mother doesn’t have much control over how her daughter Emily is raised, and the guilt that came
along with that. However, Walker shows how traditions and education in the family caused
conflicts between Mama and Dee. The mothers in each story question how their daughters
eventually turn out the way that they do.
In Walker’s “Everyday Use”, the mother is the narrator and she is described as a
hardworking woman, who is able to take on the jobs of men. Mama works all day long outside,
and is very limited in her Education. She only reached the 2nd grade. However, she has two
daughters, Dee and Maggie. Dee is able to go off to college, and Mama begins to despise her
high education and the intellect she shows on her visits home. Education seems to have the
biggest effect on their relationship. When Dee comes home, Mama learns that she has a new
appearance and also a new boyfriend who is Muslim. Once in college, Dee adjusts into a new
culture that Mama is not used to and they aren’t willing to see eye to eye. Dee wants to keep the
quilts that her grandmother made, but Mama knows that Dee won’t use them. Dee learns that
Mama promised to give those quilts to Maggie and doesn’t allow Dee to take them. She feels that
Mama is only favoring Maggie. For example, the narrator states, “I didn’t want to bring up how I
offered Dee a quilt when she went away to college” (Walker). Is that because she didn’t want her
“favorite”, Maggie, to overhear her? She eventually states that she wanted to promise those quilts
for Maggie when she gets married. This makes the reader question if that’s really the truth, or if
she is just purposely trying to keep the quilts away from Dee so they will not be misused. She
eventually states “It was Grandma Dee and Big Dee who taught her (Dee) how to quilt
herself…She looked at her sister with something like fear but she wasn’t mad at her” (Walker).
This shows the readers an evolving conflicted relationship between Mama and Dee, since she has
left for school. It also appears that Mama favors Maggie over Dee, without a doubt. Favoritism
caused a conflict between the two, but higher education and college experiences separated their
views and mentality. Dee lived a completely different lifestyle than Mama ever did and she was
opposite of Maggie, which may also explain why the two never seen eye to eye in their
relationship. Dee states that Mama doesn’t understand her heritage and says to Maggie, “You
ought to try to make something of yourself, too, Maggie. It’s really a new day for us. But from
the way you and Mama still live you’d never know it” (Walker). This also shows that Dee only
despises her mother, but can still see the innocence within Maggie. Mama has concerns for Dee’s
new culture and questions how she has become the way she is. Similarly, the narrator in “I Stand
Here Ironing” has a similar concern for her daughter also.
Tillie Olsen’s “I Stand Here Ironing”, took place during the Great Depression in the
1930’s. An unnamed narrator tells the story of raising her daughter, Emily, through her point of
view and talks about the concerns of how she grew up. In the beginning of the story, there is an
unknown person speaking to the narrator so they can help her daughter. The reader, however, is
unable to get a sense of who this person could be or what they are calling in relevance to. Who is
this person speaking to the narrator? What does Emily need help for? I believe Olsen makes the
unknown person and situation questionable so there is more focus on the narrator’s response.
This could be for readers to get an idea of what type of mother she may be, regardless of who she
is speaking to about her daughter. While the narrator wonders what she can do to help, she
realizes she can’t help because she only has so much insight on her daughter. As a struggling
single parent, the narrator leaves Emily in the care of a close neighbor. She eventually places
Emily in daycare at the age of two when she has to take work long hours at work every day. The
narrator also has four other children, but doesn’t speak much about them. She seems to be more
joyful around them, rather than somber with Emily. For example, a neighbor states, “You should
smile at Emily more when you look at her.” (Olsen). This gives the reader a sense that the
narrator doesn’t show much affection toward Emily as a child. The narrator even comments to
herself, “I loved her. There were all the acts of love.” (Olsen). This proves that the narrator
becomes naïve and doesn’t understand how she may come off to Emily as a parent. The narrator
wasn’t able to give Emily as much care as she desired to, and that gave her a sense of guilt. For
example, she ends up remarrying and having another child, Susan. The narrator’s husband tends
to leave Emily alone by herself, and she eventually became very weak and sick while the
narrator was in the hospital giving birth. At a later point in life, she also suffered from
tuberculosis at a convalescent home. These acts convey the guilt that was placed on the mother,
and how it might have affected the relationship with Emily. Despite those struggles, the narrator
eventually realized her daughter had a great sense of humor that was applaudable and wanted to
encourage her to use her talent. She stated, “Why don’t you do something like this in the school
amateur show?” (Olsen). Once Emily won the talent show, she called her mother with the great
news and she ends up performing more often. This ending to the story makes readers question
how someone can grow up with so many hardships, but still manage to make others laugh and
smile. And although the narrator is proud of her daughter, she knew that the life her daughter
lived did not explain her sense of humor. How did her sense of humor and talent come about?
Both stories show the concerns within each relationship between mother and daughter.
These authors show that although a mother can be in their daughter’s life, they can’t always
control how their daughters turn out different from what they expected. In “Everyday Use”, it
was obvious that Dee turned out different than Mama expected, due to an education and
experiencing life in different times. However, in “I Stand Here Ironing” it is unclear as to why
Emily becomes so humorous and talented, despite her childhood. It also never explained as to
how this happened. Although the relationships are based on different events, it just shows the
same point that mothers may not always have control over their daughters’ destiny as much as
they think they can, whether it’s positive or negative outcomes.
Works Cited
Olsen, Tillie. "SparkNotes: I Stand Here Ironing." SparkNotes: Today's Most Popular Study
Guides. N.p., n.d. Web. 11 Mar. 2013. <http://www.sparknotes.com/short-stories/i-stand-hereironing/>.
Olsen, Tillie. I stand here ironing. Cambridge: ProQuest Information and Learning, 2002. Print.
Walker, Alice, and Barbara Christian. Everyday use. New Brunswick, N.J.: Rutgers University
Press, 1994. Print.
Walker, Alice . "SparkNotes: Everyday Use." SparkNotes: Today's Most Popular Study Guides.
N.p., n.d. Web. 5 Mar. 2013. <http://www.sparknotes.com/short-stories/everyday-use/>.