Making the Leap From High School to College Writing
Merrill J. Davies
Making The Leap From High School to College Writing
--Merrill J. Davies
I sat across the table from my ten-year old grandson, a bright, exuberant fifthgrader enrolled in what I consider to be a good public school. In response to some
comment I made, he asserted, “We need to know this for the CRCT!” (The state
Criterion Referenced Competency Test)
“Is that what your teacher said?” I asked, laughing.
“Oh, yes!” he responded. Then he went off on a tangent, as he often does. “You
better learn this, for it may be on the….CRCT. You students are doing so well. You’ll
do great on the…CRCT. You need to get lots of rest, so you’ll do well on the…CRCT.”
He went on and on, jokingly mimicking his teacher.
While I’m sure he may have been exaggerating, his “tirade” made a point to me
that even as a fifth grader, he saw it as comical that all his learning seemed to be focused
on passing a standardized test.
I tell this story because it seems that learning in
elementary and high school has become so focused on testing that the learning itself is
seen almost as a by-product, not the real goal. Even the teaching of writing in the high
school setting as compared to the college setting is permeated by the need to get ready for
the standardized writing test in our state, not about self-expression.
I recently worked with two writing teachers, one in college and one in high
school. My goal was to see what was going on in the writing classes in each and to
determine how high school teachers are preparing students for college writing.
Although the teachers personalized the assignment to fit their own goals, both assigned
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Making the Leap From High School to College Writing
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their classes an essay on the general topic of what it means to be a “community.”
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Both
teachers were highly committed to the teaching of writing in their respective schools.
Dr. Lara Whelan is an Associate Professor in the Department of English,
Rhetoric, and Writing at Berry College. She made this assignment as the first of four
assignments to her English 101 class, the first English course at the college level. Their
task was to write an analytical essay defining community. Seventeen students completed
the assignment. The topic was first introduced on August 31, and the essay was due on
September 24, giving students over three weeks to complete the assignment. During the
time in between the assignment and the due date, students spent a total of nine days on
some aspect of the paper. They read articles on community; they discussed groups that
are/are not communities; they generated lists of community characteristics; each student
brought a working thesis to class; they wrote sample paragraphs and discussed
development; they conducted peer reviews. When they finally submitted their papers
there was no opportunity to rewrite; they were assigned a grade. Out of the seventeen
students, five received a grade of “B,” eleven received a “C,” and one received a “D.”
The assignment is included on the following page.
Making the Leap From High School to College Writing
Merrill J. Davies
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Making the Leap From High School to College Writing
Merrill J. Davies
Linda Templeton is a teacher at Cartersville High School, Cartersville, Georgia..
She is associated with the Kennesaw Mountain Writing Project (an affiliate of the
National Writing Project). I gave her four different writing assignments used by Dr.
Whelan to see if she could use one of these assignments for one of her classes in order to
have some similarity between a college essay and a high school essay. She chose the one
on community, making some minor changes in instructions. On this particular
assignment she worked with a tenth grade college preparatory class of 23 students. Ms.
Templeton says, “The main objective for this writing assignment will be to prepare
students for the writing portion of the graduation test, which they will be facing at the
beginning of the next semester.” She continues: “Without practice and preparation,
students cannot be expected to do well or be held accountable for standardized testing
that monopolizes education at this time. In addition, this first writing assignment will
establish a benchmark for future writing assignments, giving me, the teacher, a place to
begin writing instruction.” Because the assignment was a practice test, students were
asked to persuade their audience that their view of community was the correct one, and
they were given no instruction prior to the day of the writing prompt, simulating the
testing situation. Ms. Templeton used a workshop approach with students, beginning
with a first draft writing and assessment. “After this first writing, students will be placed
in groups for further assistance and discussion, and then rewrites will occur.” Ms.
Templeton emphasizes “learning the revision process, which encompasses much more
than just proofreading for misspelled words and the more simplistic errors.” On this first
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writing, only two students were actually given a grade. The others were given
suggestions, with no grade. They were allowed to revise and resubmit the essays during
the next week and a half as many times as they needed to meet the standards required.
After the week and a half, they were assigned a grade.
Ms. Templeton used the rubric for the state assessment. It consists of four
domains: Content/Organization, Style, Conventions of Written Language, and Sentence
Formation. Each domain is rated on a scale of one to five, with five being the highest.
The grading form for the college essay was specific to that particular assignment, and had
ten criteria, with each being given a separate letter grade.
Now let’s look at one of the college papers. The following essay received the
highest mark among Dr. Whelan’s students.
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In contrast to the essay above, Dr. Whelan’s assessment of the following essay
was a “D+.” As you will see from the rubric, several areas of the paper were completely
unacceptable. Whereas the first student’s paper received above average grades on
paragraph development, this student received failing grades on both development and
adequate support.
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One of Mrs. Templeton’s students did a total of five drafts of his paper before the
week and a half was up. I am including the first and last drafts and comments made by
the teacher.
DRAFT #1
Community
Do you live in a community?
them and some others do not.
Many people like living in
When I think of a community, I
think on it as a great place to live and grow up.
communities are not great and happy though.
All
Communities consist
of people, homes, and many other things.
No one word can explain a community.
them can vary also.
The size range on
Some communities can be very large and
others can be small.
Communities in citys are diffrent also.
Take Cartersville, for example, there is not one sole community
in the city.
That can be good, but could also hinder the city.
Some communities get along, but there is always the few that do
not.
People make communities.
stores, and whatever they need.
most of the time they do.
separate communities.
They build the houses, the
Not all communities work, but
Different neighborhoods can be
If you lived on the east side of town that
could be one communitiy and so forth.
Communitys can be
separated by race, religion, or what school or where you work.
Communities are not always close together either.
A boarding
school and its’ surroundings are a very good example of a close
Making the Leap From High School to College Writing
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community.
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The only way to make a good community is to all be
together for the right thing.
Many people have their own opinion about what a community
can be.
Communities are how some people get along through life.
The help from other people can make them better in life.
There
are many examples of different communities on television and that
shows how life really can be.
Responding to this first draft, Mrs. Templeton noted that his thoughts seemed
“random” and questioned what he considered to be the thesis of his paper. In the process
of revision, Mrs. Templeton also gave him verbal feedback and he was given peer
feedback as well. In drafts two through four, the student was encouraged to “be more
specific by expanding ideas,” “give specific examples for support” and pay more
attention to wording his thoughts. His last effort at the end of the week and a half is as
follows:
DRAFT #5
Community
Many people like living in communities and some do not.
When I think of a community, I think of it as a great place to
live and grow up.
All communities are not great though.
have problems with discipline and law enforcement.
Some
There is no
real meaning to what makes a community, but my outlook on it
consist of people helping people and everybody getting along.
My thoughts of a community are of family, friends and even
strangers getting along.
People control a community’s needs and
Making the Leap From High School to College Writing
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wants.
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People also help make a community strong or even weak.
Some communities have problems though and are not perfect.
I
think about that and picture my perfect community to be the way I
live:
safe, friendly, and clean.
To me Cartersville contains many communities.
We have
neighborhoods such as the Waterford and Mission Estates.
Within
these neighborhoods people get to know each other, by having
barbecue’s and parties.
Where people and their friends hang out
is a part of a community, too.
For example my friends and I hang
out at baseball and Taco Bell.
We call that our community.
I think the community I am a part of now is very strong,
but could be stronger.
We should do whatever it takes to clean
up and make our community great.
If our community improves, we
could set better examples for other communities.
Everybody has their own outlook and thoughts on what makes
a community.
I think of mine where everybody gets along and
there are law abiding citizens.
like with everything perfect.
live.
My community is even fairy-tale
I love my community and where I
People may not love theirs, but they can always make a
difference.
On this final draft Mrs. Templeton comments: “I like how your essay improved
with each writing.” She suggests some changes in wording and points out some
mechanical errors, but recognizes that he has made improvements, and he is given an “A”
for his last draft.
Making the Leap From High School to College Writing
Merrill J. Davies
These two writing instructors have much in common. They both believe it is
necessary to lead students to process their ideas, develop a controlling idea, or thesis,
support their ideas with meaningful examples and illustrations, and present them in a
logical order that readers can follow. They both expected their students to use effective
and correct language. Both the instructors indicated that they struggle with getting
students to give specific examples to support their general ideas. One of the major
differences in their approach is due to their respective school circumstances.
The pressure the high school teacher felt to prepare students for a state test figured
into both the way the assignment was given and the assessment process. Since the state
test is said to be persuasive, she used that term in the assignment instructions. She
omitted the instructions to not write an introduction and conclusion given by Dr. Whelan
since the graduation test expects these. Although the rubric simply says “evidence of a
sense of order that is clear and relevant” most teachers feel that an introduction and
conclusion is expected. The biggest difference in the two assignments, of course, was
the fact that Ms. Templeton gave the prompt with no instruction or discussion of the topic
before they wrote, as they would do on the state test. The instruction and rewriting came
later.
In addition to the problem of preparing for the graduation writing test, high
school teachers have to think about time spent on writing not related to literature, since
most of their courses are “composition and literature.” Because of this combination,
teachers are always trying to balance instruction in the two areas. Often, the writing
instruction is either omitted or limited to writing about literature, and little time is spent
on actual writing instruction. Assessment is focused on whether the student understands
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the literature instead of writing skills. From what I have observed, Mrs. Templeton is
probably an exception in the amount of writing instruction she gives students because of
her association with the National Writing Project site.
Unlike the high school teacher, the college writing instructor is totally focused on
writing skills. At Berry College, students are required to take two semesters of
composition. The first one is focused on expository writing. Students learn to create an
analytical thesis, develop paragraphs explaining how or why, and using appropriate
transitions from one idea to another. The second semester focuses more on rhetoric, is
more resource based, and students learn persuasive techniques. After these two
semesters, students choose from any 200 level literature course (includes an Introduction
to Literature which is genre-based, or British, American, or world literature).
In my conversations with these two writing instructors, I came to a few
conclusions which might lead to further exploration in what is going on in the classrooms
of both high schools and colleges. Basically, I was encouraged by both these instructors.
Their dedication to writing instruction is impressive. My question is how can we
increase the likelihood that students moving from high school to college will have a
smooth transition in developing their writing skills?
First, let’s look at the two papers which were given the best grade in each class.
My first observation is that the tenth grader’s writing tends to be much more general,
with few specific examples. The closest he comes to specific references is the paragraph
in which he mentions the name of his town, a couple of communities, and Taco Bell. In
contrast, the college student’s essay includes specific “communities” in which she has
functioned, such as dorm roommates, a freshman seminar class, and her basketball team.
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In addition, the college paper achieves a certain cohesiveness through a discussion
of communication which leads to bonding in order to achieve desired goals. The high
school essay lacks this cohesiveness. Rather than define community, he seems to assume
that community mostly has to do with where one lives and discusses it in terms of how
well it works, and sets forth no particular criteria with which to define its effectiveness.
Finally, the college essay is much more sophisticated in its sentence structure,
competency in grammar, word choice, and over all effective writing. In fact, even the
essay which was judged ineffective by the college professor demonstrates much more
competency in these areas.
Well, of course the college student is more advanced, we might say. He’s had
more experience. But only two years. We’re talking about second semester (end of year)
tenth grade and college freshman (first course in writing). We also must remember that
the college student did not receive an “A” on the paper. So how do we make sure the
high school student is advancing properly?
Those of us who teach high school English want to know if we’re on the right
track, if we are doing all we can to prepare our students for that college experience. I’d
like to suggest something that might help both the high school teacher and the student
(and probably the college teacher too). At the high school level, we might do better to
change our focus from the form of the total essay (which they do have to write on all
those tests!) to a focus on logical thinking, effective sentences, and effective paragraphs.
If a student can write one effective paragraph, he/she can write several effective
paragraphs. In our hurry to get students to the point of writing a whole paper, we often
don’t have time to work on the particulars. In my creative writing classes, I often asked
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students to “Write the best sentence you’ve ever written.” It was amazing how hard they
would try to write one really good sentence! It was a challenge, but it was within their
reach. If we focus more on good sentence structure and strong paragraphs, that is an
advantage to the teacher also—it’s much easier to assess one paragraph for each student
than to assess a whole paper. Students do have to deal with writing a whole essay for
some of the tests, but in the long run, we may help them more by focusing on the parts
than the whole. It seems that we may have the sequence backwards. If we high school
teachers, with our limited time to spend on writing, could do a really good job of teaching
students to write effective sentences and paragraphs, then maybe the college professors
could build on that and be able to put their focus on the whole composition. What seems
to be happening is that we are having them write whole compositions again and again in
an ineffective manner, but we don’t have the time to help them improve their individual
paragraphs.
Having said that, I believe that there are some administrative problems that are
beyond the teacher’s scope of influence that may need to be addressed if students are
properly trained in writing at the high school level. Those in charge of curriculum should
work toward putting composition back in the curriculum as a separate course. At one
time it was in our state curriculum, required in the eleventh or twelfth grade, but is no
longer there. As long as literature and writing are combined, some teachers will focus
primarily on literature and not on writing. What little writing is done is in response to
literature.
Another issue that needs to be addressed is communication between high schools
and local colleges. There are many ways in which we could improve communication.
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High school teachers could invite college English teachers to come in and talk to students
about what will be expected in their college English classes. Colleges could organize
events where high school teachers could meet their English professors and discuss the
teaching of writing. There are ways to accomplish effective communication between the
high school and college level teacher. Someone just has to initiate the process.
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