Rabbi Vicki Seren Tuckman
Temple Micah, Lawrenceville, NJ
Yom Kippur Morning Sermon
10 Tishrei 5775 * October 2014
A “2014” Acrostic for Yom Kippur
If you ever wonder what Rabbis talk about behind closed doors, or on our
“member only” list-servs, I am here this morning to shed the light, as there has been
one conversation in particular just burning up FaceBook, Tablet, and all the rabbinic
social media sites. Ready? Ashamnu, a dense alphabetical petitionary prayer listing the
totality of our sins; as well as Unataneh Tokef, our annual annunciation in which we
blatantly list “who will live and who will die, who in the fullness of their years, and who
before their time...” with a disturbing theologic statement at the end of the prayer that
says “but if we do acts of prayer, tzedekah or teshuva” – we can somehow change God's
mind and avert the decree of death. As though there is a Divine hand in Ebola, floods,
famines, and premature death.
Aren't we Rabbis an exciting bunch? Burning up the internet with our religious
chatter. But this is where we clergy-folk turn when our spouses and partners are
fatigued from hearing our incessant talk about the High Holy Days. But in all
seriousness...
The latest focus and discussion can really be boiled down to one salient point:
How do we balance modernity while honoring and paying homage to our inherited
texts? And in light of last night's sermon – when is prayer helpful, but when might it be
harmful ? Are the messages in our prayerbook ever so harsh that it serves to push us
away from Judaism and propel us away from a dialogue with God? Or... on Yom Kippur
do we crave the blunt message, and appreciate the straight talk in a world that
continually sugar coats in an attempt to build self-esteem and give a prize to every
player on the field?
Ashamnu is part of the “Slichot” liturgy for Yom Kippur. It is an “acrostic” of our
sins, recited with the custom of gently beating one's heart upon declaring each and
every sin – whether we personally committed the act or not. We pray in plural and in
unison; for together we have committed these human mistakes and offenses against
God. Notice – only a few prayers on Rosh Hashanah deal with sin. Rosh Hashanah is
mostly up-beat liturgy about reflection and renewal, with special pleas to be “inscribed
in the Book of Life for the coming year”. The Rosh Hashanah liturgy is mostly light and
sweet, but Yom Kippur is about confession, forgiveness, and broken promises. On Yom
Kippur we stand at the edge of the abyss – peering over as we acknowledge where and
when we have been corrupt, malicious, or brought evil to ourselves or others. Death
haunts our liturgy. We fear of change – and, likewise, we fear not being able to change.
We not only want to be inscribed in the Book of Life, we want to make sure our
entry into the ledger is worthy of the ink it is written in. Yom Kippur is saturated with
“prayers of supplication, poems of pardon, and our pleas in the words of our ancestors.”
As I spoke about last night, we hope that the thoughts inside of us match the words we
speak out loud. As human beings “we know we are judged every moment of our lives
by what we have done, and what what we have left undone.”
Days”, page 429)
(source: Forms of Prayer, “Renew our
The current tension over Ashamnu is regarding the use of negativity vs.
positivity. Here's how I would sum up our “top secret” rabbinic ramblings:
* Do we want Yom Kippur to be a total bummer, or a stroke of our egos?
* What is the psychological aspect of atoning for our sins vs. a review of the
positive attributes of which we are proud?
* Should we receive positive reinforcement for our good behavior, or be
berated for our many imperfections?
One solution from my rabbinic colleagues was to use the traditional liturgy in the
morning and use a creative (perhaps more positive) Ashamnu for the Neilah service at
the end of our day of atonement. My solution is to use the original prayer as a stepping
off point, but to create a new reflection, an alphabetic listing of our sins that fit for
2014, one for modern Jews struggling with today's issue, challenges and societal woes. I
am certainly not the first person to re-write our prayers, but I hope I can offer a look at
modern-day sins, which will move us closer to making real change, and fulfilling real
teshuvah, in our lives.
Here is my modern-day Ashamnu:
A – Active Listening.... Or lack there-of! For not always being an open, patient listener.
Remembering that the art of dialogue is the beauty of the evolving conversation.
Active listening means that being in dialogue is not a show-down, or a showing off, but
an exercise with open ears and an open heart.
B – For not working harder to educate and eliminate the BDS (the Boycott, Divestment
and Sanction) movement against the Israeli government, as well as other causes I
believe in. I use this as an example that there is hard work to do, difficult perhaps
unpopular causes to fight for. If we believe in a cause, we must walk to walk. Even
when it forces us outside of our comfort zone. All too often we allow others to take the
hits and do the dirty work.
C – Craving wealth and not always knowing when enough is enough. Letting
consumerism and envy dictate our career and monetary decisions.
D -- Dehydration. How many times have we heard that we must drink more water?
Supposedly 8 glasses a day! Instead we consume diet soda and other beverages, that do
nothing to promote our health and well being. In addition – all of that soda, and yes,
bottled water - we waste an inconceivable amount of plastic bottles through our
consumption. More than 60 million plastic bottles end up in landfills and incinerators
every day – a total of 22 billion last year. Enough plastic bottles are thrown away each
year in the United States to circle the earth four times. We should drink more water –
but from a re-usable bottle.
E – Eating food that has been made at the cost of others. I wish every egg, every gallon
of milk, and every piece of fruit that we purchased reflected the following good values:
paying all people a fair wage, creating safe and hospitable work environments, and
providing health insurance for people of every level of employment in the food
industry.
F – Forgiving others around me for their imperfections and human frailties.
G – Giving too much of my time to FaceBook, email, and other technological inventions
of modern society meant to make us more efficient and “in touch”.
H – Helping to spread gossip or negativity, known in Hebrew as “lashon harah”. And
not standing up to others to put a halt to the negative or unnecessary conversations we
find ourselves in.
I – Ice cream. Not consuming enough. So many of us have become a slave to a number
on a scale. One of the most critical teachings of Judaism is that all things are acceptable
“in moderation”. If we take care of our bodies, eat well, and exercise - then a trip to
Halo Pub or Purple Cow is more than justified. And we should not feeling guilty when
enjoying the pleasures of life in moderation.
J – Juggling too many things at once. It has been scientifically-tested that “multitasking” is not more efficient, it only makes us think we are. I know this all too well –
just ask my husband how many times I have left my car running in our driveway!
(An ecological sin!)
K – Not living a life of Kavanah or putting true heart into what we do.
L – Learning over and over again the art of saying “no”.
M – Allowing money, not values, to guide our decisions. There are organizations and
institutions that need our money, more than we need that next level of car or vacation.
Judaism teaches that we should tithe ourselves yearly to give Tzedekah to the causes
we deem worthy. Mazon, a Jewish food organization, says that we should donate 3% of
the total cost of a life cycle celebration to charity. For a $50,000 wedding – this is only
$1500. But do actually do this? For every 8 nights of giving for Hanukkah – is one of
your presents to your children a check to a local organization of their choice? It is good
of us to give our time and donate gently-used clothes – but Rambam teaches it is
money that puts food in people's mouths.
N – Not reading the newspaper on a daily basis. It is our obligation as Jews, as the
generation after the Holocaust, and as educated Americans, to be informed regarding
the total experience of our society. It is incumbent upon us to add our voice, opinion,
money, or effort to those voices not strong or loud enough to do so on their own.
O – Owning way too much stuff. We in America should be ashamed at what we
currently have fooled ourselves into thinking we need, as opposed to being honest
about what is a luxury and a blessing, and what ought not be purchased in the first
place.
P – Delaying the production of my family photo albums and scrap books. They are some
of the most beloved keep-sakes of my family.
Q – Not putting enough value on the need for quietude and calmness and helping to
create this space for our loved ones.
R – Recycling & Reusing. Reducing & Re-purposing. It is dirty, it takes effort, it is often
inconvenient – especially when we are not at home. We have to force ourselves to
adapt green habits, and pressure our towns and the places we frequent to do the same.
S – Not getting enough sleep. 1 more show, 1 more chore to do, 1 more email. Is it
necessary to sacrifice the number #1 recommended behavior that promotes good
health and wellness?
T – Not forgetting that from the very place we sit right now, we are exactly 11.5 miles
(22 minutes) from the heart of down-town Trenton. Let us memorize this fact. In 2013,
37 people were killed in Trenton; nearly half of the victims were in their 20s, and 7 were
teenagers. Furthermore, it has taken colossal effort – literally begging for years from
the state - for improvements to be made to Trenton Central High School, an 81-year old
building, that has leaky roofs, disintegrating ceilings, rodent infestations, and mold.
Local public school advocate, Moriah Kinberg, told the Huffington Post that, “allowing
teachers and students to be in this condition is a moral issue. Teachers have said that
the conditions are making them physically ill and it is demoralizing to go to school when
you walk down the hallway and there is water running down the hall.” Almost 1900
students receive their education in this dilapidated building. Would we tolerate this in
our school districts?
U – Not always understanding that our children are independent beings who must
grow their own wings, make their own mistakes, and trek their own journeys. As they
go on their own ways, choose to live in different states, or do things differently than
what we wish – it is important to understand and accept them for who they are, not
what we wish them to be.
V – Vacationing without our technological devices. A vacation is for vacating. When I
personally go on vacation with my family every December, my i-phone is placed next to
my lap-top on my desk. The battery runs out of both, as I recharge my personal battery
through sunshine and swimming, family time and reading for pleasure.
W - For caring too much about the wrinkles on my face. For the confident and
successful woman that I know I am – I am disappointed in myself that false societal
standards have gotten the better of me.
X – Examining our own reactions to situations and not taking full ownership for our bad
behavior. Putting off therapy or counseling for ourselves or our families, using time or
money as the excuse for not taking full responsibility for our mental and emotional
well-being.
Y – Saying “yes” when we really mean “no”. For adults – saying “yes” to meetings
during dinner time, “yes” to volunteer positions we do not have time for, “yes” to extra
assignment at work. For teens – to allowing others to copy our work, to saying “yes, I
have cleaned my room” when you know you have not, and for allowing our friends to
pressure us into foolish behaviors that we have not yet developed the voice or courage
to say “no”. Our society must support and protect girls and women of all ages – who
feel pressure to say “yes” and advance sexually beyond their own comfort levels.
Z – Zion, a name often used synonymously with Jerusalem or Israel. For not always
believing in Israel and all of the challenges she faces on a daily basis. Let us not forget
our spiritual and historic connection to Zion, our Holy Land. From Psalm 137 - “By the
rivers of Babylon, there we sat down and wept.... If I forget thee, O Jerusalem, let my
right hand forget her cunning. Let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth, if I
remember thee not”.
As I spoke on Rosh Hashanah morning, each of us have a narrative to tell and
record. So, too, do we each have “a list of sins” to atone for and our own “Ashamnu” to
write. We have come together this morning to peel away the layers and peer into our
souls. Each of us made a decision to be here this morning. We pray in the plural so that
we may hold each other accountable. We partner with God and with each other, open
to the fragility of our ever resilient human experience. I do not think Yom Kippur is a
sad day. It has actually become one of my best-loved Jewish holidays, because of its
open-ended optimism in the belief that we can change.
I ask you: Do you see the potential in this modern Ashamnu? Because “A”
through “Z” - We can improve on every item. Every “sin” - and there were a lot of them
– we can do something about it. I can recycle a bit more each day; I can resist buying a
new pair of shoes; I can teach the young men and women in our congregation to say
“yes” with confidence and “no” with meaning; I can look in the mirror and revel in the
beauty of being cancer-free, not wrinkle-free.
And so can you. So go write your acrostic....
And it is so simple – because it comes down to 1 basic theme. Be good to
yourself, be good to others, be good to our world. Here's the God-honest truth. You
will sin and you will mess up.
Repeatedly.
We all will. And when that happens, I hope that we can support each other. That
we can love a little more and judge a little less.
As it says in Pirkei Avot/the Ethics of our Fathers If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
And if I am only for myself, what am I?
And if not now, when?
Kayn Y'hi Ratzon.