‘Teechers’ by John Godber Pg 12
Characters = Gail, Nixon & Hobby
Gail
Sir, are teachers rich?
Nixon
Not at the moment.
Nixon
Nooooo!
Gail
Brilliant.
Gail
What about Mrs Parry, she’s got a massive car?
Hobby
Do you like this school, sir?
Nixon
She might be, but I’m not.
Nixon
Yeh, it’s OK, you lot are awkward, but OK.
Hobby
Are you married, sir?
Hobby
do?
Sir, what do you think it’s important for a teacher to
Nixon
No. Next question.
Gail
Sir, is this school for thickies?
Nixon
Why?
Gail
‘Cos when we’re going home, all the kids from the
posh school, Saint George’s … ask us if we can add up, and they
ask if we’ve got any table tennis homework?
Hobby
Sir, all the kids who go to that school are snobs…
Their dads drive big cars…
Gail
And they call us “divvies”…
Hobby
than us.
Sir, because they go there they think they’re better
Gail
And they say our teachers are shit. Oh sorry, didn’t
mean to say that.
Hobby
Mr Basford’s sons go there don’t they?
Gail
Yeh, two twins. “Twinnies” they’re called. They’re
right brainy…Sir, have you got a girlfriend?
Nixon
Well, I think a teacher should have a good
relationship, if he hasn’t got a relationship he can only ever be a
teacher, never a person.
Gail
What about Mr Basford, he hasn’t got a good
relationship with the kids…
Nixon
Well I can’t speak for Mr Basford can I?
Hobby
Sir, the bell’s gone…
Nixon
You’d better go and get it then – and go quietly.