Lifespan overheads, chapter 14: emotional and social development in early adulthood 1
Emotional and Social Development in Early Adulthood
Erikson’s theory : intimacy versus isolation

goal is finding a permanent and committed partner

successful resolution prepares the way for the next stage which focuses on Generativity

contrary to Erikson, both intimacy and generativity issues arise in early adulthood
Daniel
Levinson’s “Seasons of Life” Theory

adulthood is a sequence of distinct eras or seasons
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each begins with a transition, lasting about 5 years
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between transitions are stable periods where people concentrate on building a life pattern or “life structure” dreams and mentors:
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during the early adulthood transition (17-22) people construct a dream that guides decision-making o men: being an independent achiever in some occupation o women: about both marriage and career
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form a relationship with a mentor who facilitates the realization of their dream
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the age 30 transition : reevaluate their life structure and try to change components they find inadequate
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the age 33 to 40 settling-down period : men anchor themselves firmly in family, occupation, community. o women remain highly unsettled until middle adulthood
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Lifespan overheads, chapter 14: emotional and social development in early adulthood 2
The Social Clock (Bernice Neugarten, 1968)
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important influence on adult development
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age-graded expectations for life events
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being on-time or off-time can profoundly affect selfesteem
Close Relationships
Romantic Love
 mate selection: same age, SES, religion, attitudes, personality, education, intelligence, attractiveness o the more similar people are the more satisfied they are and the more likely they are to stay together o women value intelligence, ambition, financial security, character, commitment o men value physical attractiveness, domestic skills o women prefer same-age/older partners; men prefer younger partners
 Ethological theory: cues to fertility versus cues to provide and protect
 Social learning theory: societal gender roles influence these criteria

Love o love has 3 components  intimacy, passion, and commitment. o passionate love is very important in the beginning o gradually declines and intimacy and commitment become more important o spouses gradually feel “less in love” and pleased within married life over the first year of marriage o commitment, and communicating that commitment best predicts staying together
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Friendships:
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similar in sex, age, SES
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acceptance, affirmation, social support, expand social and learning opportunities
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women have more same-sex intimate friendships than men
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Other-sex friendships decline after marriage for men, but increase for women
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males confide more easily to female friends
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men are more likely to feel sexual attraction for an opposite-sex friend
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Siblings become more like friends in adult years
Loneliness: peaks during late teens and early 20s
 losing intimacy is especially hard
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men feel lonelier than women when not in a relationship
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wives report loneliness more than husbands

shy, socially anxious people report more loneliness
The Family Life Cycle l iving on one’s own 
marrying

bearing children
 kids leave home  retirement  old age  death of spouse

death
Leaving home

for education, work, or marriage
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nearly half of young people return home for a brief time
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parental home is a safety net
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leaving home too early leads to a focus on employment versus education
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Joining of families in marriage:
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nearly 90% of Americans get married at least once.
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average age is 24.8 for women and 27.1 for men in
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other-race marriages make up 6% of the married population
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when backgrounds are distinct, challenge to merge families
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better (in terms of divorce rates) to marry later than earlier
 traditional marriages still exist in Western nations
 egalitarian marriages may represent an ideal rather than a reality o even in
“egalitarian” marriages women spend 3X more time doing housework than men
 marital satisfaction: o more men than women report being happily married o for women, relationship quality has a greater impact on mental health
Martial expectations and myths

more women than men said that their partners should be superior to them
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more men said that their partners should be inferior to them
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popular myths about marriage: o that satisfaction increases through the 1 st year o that the best predictor of satisfaction is quality of sex life o that if my spouse loves me, they should know what I want and need to be happy o that no matter how I behave, my spouse should love me simply because they are my spouse.
Parenthood
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parenthood is now truly a choice
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changing cultural values make it ok to be childless
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72% of couples have children
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the average number of kids a family will have is 1.8
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women who work in demanding careers are less likely to become parents
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other factors: finance, religious values, biological and medical conditions

costs $260 000 (birth to college graduation)
Transition to parenthood:
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causes marital roles to become more traditional
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women count on more help from husband than occurs
Additional births:
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family size has declined in industrialized nations
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siblings are spaced farther apart nowadays (more than
2 years)

finding good child care: if not available, pressure is on the woman to curtail her career
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Families with adolescents:
More people seek or are referred for family therapy during this phase of the family life cycle than at any other time.
Adult Lifestyles
Singlehood: 29% of males and 21% for females from 30 to
34 years old

women are more likely to remain single for many years or their entire lives. o As women get older, there are fewer men available with characteristics that most women look for in a mate o Men find partners more easily since they can select from the large pool of younger unmarried women. o women tend to “marry up” and men tend to “marry down”  men in blue collar jobs and women in prestigious jobs are overrepresented among singles after age 30 o Many people go through a stressful period in their late 20s as their friends start to marry and they become an exception. o the mid-30s is another trying time for women as their biological clock start ticking
Cohabitation: about 1/3 of these households include children
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
for some it serves as a preparation for marriage
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for others it is an alternative to marriage
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less religious, more politically liberal, more androgynous, a history of more sex partners
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parents who got divorced
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less likely to pool finances or jointly own a house.
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those who live together before marriage are more prone to divorce
Childlessness :

20% of couples have fertility problems; some will remain involuntarily childless

Others never found an appropriate partner
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others are voluntarily childless o college educated, prestigious occupations, and committed to their work. Voluntarily childless women tend to be more self-reliant and assertive o tend to be as contented as parents who have rewarding relationships with their kids
Divorce and Remarriage:
 ½ of marriages in US end in separation or divorce.

most within 5-10 years of marriage
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61% of divorced men and 54% of divorced women remarry.
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in the 2 nd marriage, the divorce rate is 57%
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wives report more problems than husbands; twice as likely as men to initiate divorce.
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husbands have difficulty sensing their wife’s distress
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strongest predictors of divorce in the next 10 years: infidelity, spending money foolishly, drinking/drugs, jealousy, irritating habits, moodiness
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younger age at marriage, not attending church, being previously divorced, having parents who divorced
Consequences of divorce
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women who had traditional marriages have the toughest time
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noncustodial fathers feel disoriented and rootless
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finding a new partner contributes most to the life satisfaction of divorced adults - especially men

most divorced women wait longer before jumping in again
Remarriage: people remarry 4 years after divorce
Why do so many remarriages break up?

practical matters figure more heavily, which does not provide a sound emotional basis
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transfer the negative patterns from 1 st marriage to 2 nd
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more likely to see divorce as an acceptable solution

suffer more stress from stepfamily situations
Styles of Parenthood

Remarried parents: o stepmothers are especially likely to experience conflict and poor adjustment o Stepfathers with kids of their own establish positive ties with stepchildren relatively quickly o Stepfathers without their own kids may have troubled relationships with stepkids
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never-married parents:
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10% of American kids have parents who never married. o 89% are single mothers; 11% are single fathers o births to 30 + single women in high-status occupations have increased in recent years o largest group is African-American young women - over 60% of births to black women in their 20s are out of wedlock, compared to 18% for white women
Gay & lesbian parents
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family structure is much like heterosexual parents
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gay fathers are more consistent in setting limits and more responsive to their childrens’ needs than heterosexual fathers
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Children are as well-adjusted as other kids, and the large majority are heterosexual.
Vocational Development
Establishing a vocation:
 men’s vocational lives are long and continuous, beginning after completion of formal education and ending with retirement
 Women’s tend to be discontinuous – interrupted or deferred by childbearing and childrearing.
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while 50% of young people report aspiring to professional occupations, only 20% attain them.
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as new workers become aware of the gap between expectations and reality, resignations are common.
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On average, young people in their 20s move to a new job every 2 years; 5 or 6 changes is not unusual.
 self-efficacy affects career choices and career development.
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an effective mentor is also a predictor of success
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Women and ethnic minorities:
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women are concentrated in occupations that offer little opportunity for advancement
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underrepresented in executive and managerial roles
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woman make 76 cents for every dollar men make
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Women who pursue nontraditional careers have
“masculine” qualities
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At age 60, the women who reported greatest life satisfaction had developed rewarding careers. The least satisfied were lifelong housewives
Combining work and family :
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the dominant form of the family today is the dual-earner marriage
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moderate/severe conflicts over trying to meet work and family responsibilities in 1/3 of these families

conflict is greater for women

career decisions become more complex
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