Hi Arthur! Thought I'd respond to some of your questions about my
mother & her relationship to her parental family members: it may take me
a few days to complete this because it's a busy month for me!
How were our grandparents different from the other people that my mother
"deemed worthy of her company?" Well, they were far less "cosmopolitan"
than the people my mother wanted to live among. Grandma and Grandpa
lived very simply--no frills. They both were very hard workers. I got
the impression (vibes, I guess)--that Mother would have been embarrassed
as an adult to have her friends and associates meet them..Mother was
very particular about her own grammar, whereas Grandma used words like
"dasn't" and wasn't always precise in her grammar. According to Mother,
Grandma graduated high school, but Grandpa didn't complete elementary
school. After high school, Mother went off to Minneapolis to attend
business school while living with Aunt Belva (Grandma's sister).
Aunt Bel, who did not like Grandpa at all, had a very brief marriage
ending in divorce. She owned a huge apartment building in Minneapolis.
She was one tough cookie who appeared to dislike men in general and
thought Grandma had too rough a row to hoe.She took my mother under her
psychological wing, lent her money for business school and was helpful
in my mother's "escaping" her childhood environment. Mother finished
school and headed for Chicago, where she met a handsome, dapper
Hungarian pharmacist who was getting his degree in optometry. (This
was my father, Arpad (Arthur) Geza de Revey, who probably promised her
the moon--he was VERY suave!!) He had a great deal of respect for our
grandparents; and Grandma, especially, really loved him. I think she
was very sad when my parents divorced. Grandma went to my wedding in
Peoria in l960 and was so happy to see Daddy again --I know he was
especially happy to see her, too. Grandma was in Peoria at my mother's
house when Daddy suddenly died in l964. Grandma wasn't well enough to
attend the funeral, but she was grieving for him and talked about how
good he'd always been to her. I guess it's unfair of me to speculate
too much about why my mother distanced herself from her family since she
isn't here to defend herself, but I got the impression she felt she had
vastly improved her life socially by leaving home! I felt very sad
through the years about our lack of contact with the family, although
Mother did always remind me to send a birthday card to Grandma, whose
birthday was January l7.
Grandpa was a very quiet, very intelligent man who spoke articulately
with a great deal of thought. He had lost an eye in a farm accident and
had a glass eye. He had also lost several fingers on one hand. He was
very respected in the farming community and served as the leader of a
farming association. I have a news clipping of his appointment to that
position which I'd like to photocopy for you (or do you have a copy?)
Grandpa would sit at the dining room table after his morning chores and
listen to the radio--I believe the program was called the Farm Bureau
Report, which gave the current prices on crops and livestock. He also
read the newspaper and his Bible. He didn't belong to a particular
church, but there'd be home services on Sundays with some friends.
Uncle Bill told me that Grandpa did not agree with the beliefs of the
Jehovah's Witnesses, although Grandma, before her death, was willing to
consider them. ( When Grandma died, I seem to remember that Uncle Bill
wanted her to have a Jehovah's Witness funeral. Mother said "Absolutely
not--she was NOT a Jehovah's Witness!") Uncle Bill told me that in his
childhood, his family were members of the Bible Students, which, I
believe he said, later evolved into the Jehovah's Witnesses. I think
Uncle Bill was the only Jehovah's Witness in the family, though.
Grandpa had an unusual lesson to teach me. Once, when I asked him if
the electric fence around the cow pasture was on, he said " I don't
know--why don't you touch it?" (He knew!)
I touched it, it was on, he laughed & I wondered why he was so mean!
Another time, I was in the barn, jumped down from a haymow and landed in
a fresh cow pie, which gave him a good, long laugh. Again, I thought he
was being mean! (Actually, he and Grandma as well as Mother all got a
big kick out of both incidents.) I believe I was l2 the last time I saw
him alive--I was l7 when he died in l954. (Which reminds me to offer you
a correction for the Genealogy page which has my name spelled
incorrectly and my birthdate given on my parents' wedding day :) My
actual birthdate is 5/3/37.
I only remember one of Grandma's "childhood mischief" stories: she & her
sisters would follow her brothers into the woods and hide from them.
Then they'd make sounds like wild animals to scare the boys. (It
doesn't sound funny here, but Grandma would embellish the story and
start cackling with glee till the tears came streaming down her face.
***
I don't remember Grandma being affectionate with Mother except for the
"hello" and "goodbye" hugs, but maybe she was. I don't remember
observing affection between Grandma and Grandpa either, but the family
may just not have been demonstrative in their affection.
***
Uncle Bill says Grandma loved Grandpa very much and had a very difficult
time dealing with his death.
I laughed when you mentioned Uncle Bill calling Mother the queen of
sarcasm--she definitely had a talent for it! I was interested to hear
that the 2 of them fought a lot!
No, I wasn't at home when Uncle Bill visited Peoria in the 60's. I
graduated from the University of Wisconsin at Madison in '59, got
married in January of '60 and lived in Southern California until
May,l962 when we moved back to Illinois (Park Forest.) (I see you got
your doctorate at UW!!!) At this point ,I'll give you some more info
for your Genealogy Website: Janet Rosalie de Revey (5/3/37--) married
Gary Alan Dunn l/30/60 (l2/l2/37)
children: l) Michael Bradley Dunn b.
ll/22/60
married to Eleanor
DuVivier l0/l4/89 (b.11/29/59)
children: Zachary
Edward Dunn b. l/20/94
Alexander Joseph Dunn b. l2/11/98
(2 ) Robert Arthur Dunn
married Dawn Nierman
3/24/90 (b.9/13/62)
children: Ryan
Arthur Dunn b. 4/28/95
Kara
Leeanna Dunn b. 2/6/98
8/9/63
(3) Alison Kay Dunn b.
married William
Henry Jenkins l0/29/88 (b.2/28/44)
Henry Jenkins,Jr. b 9/9/89
children: William
Zoe
Amelia Jenkins b.11/7/92
Gary and I divorced in 1981 and I got married again in l982, to Marion
C. Hathaway. He has two sons and 3 daughters and, between us, we have
11 grandchildren. (If you need any further details on my present
marriage for your Website, let me know!)
Here's Diane's family info: children by Harry McAfee (his birthdate
unknown)
(l)Robyn McAfee b.l0/8/65
married to Warren Glenn
children: Garrett Glenn
b.1986
Tyler Glenn
b. l987
Jordan Glenn
b.l989
Jonathan
Glenn b.l990
Hollymarie
Glenn b. l997
l969
(2) Tony McAfee b.l967
(3) Nicole Marie McAfee b.
You asked if my correspondence with your Dad has been this open. Not so
far, because I haven't actually pursued the family personalities and
relationships with him in depth--but I have a feeling that Uncle Bill
would be responsive if I did. We did discuss my mother when I saw him,
and my regret that she kept such a distance from her family and had
given the impression to Uncle Cullen's family that she was "too good"
for her parents and siblings.(Also, when we were in Colby, I got the
strong impression from Mother's attitude toward Grandpa that she didn't
like him and had a lot of contempt for him. It was a real mystery to me,
and I felt very sad about it) Uncle Bill shared that Mother was quite
the "party girl" and very popular with the boys. He also shared that
Aunt Bel didn't like him or Grandpa--this was in response to my remark
that Aunt Bel didn't care much for me (I was quiet and reticent ) but
seemed to really like my spunky, sassy , mouthy and rude little
sister!!!) Yes, I WAS jealous of Diane's extroversion, looks and
popularity--not that you could tell from my previous sentence! I
thought Aunt Bel was an angry, cold woman--and didn't like being around
her.
Arthur, I'd love to send you those pictures you asked for, but I can't
do it over the computer (no scanner.) If you'll give me your address,
I'll send them to you soon, along with that news clipping about Grandpa,
which I think you'll really enjoy reading.
I'm sorry to be so late in getting this to you. As I may have mentioned
to you, Marion's 34-year-old son, Peter, came to live with us in
September, and we've been extra busy this Christmas season showing him
some of the sights in Arizona, and getting him engaged in projects
around the house. I'm also doing more childsitting than usual these
days with Bob and Dawn's children in Gilbert. (My daughter and her
family live just a block from our house!)
There are so many questions I want to ask about you and your family that
I'll save for next time. I love corresponding with you and hope you and
your family are all well. I'll send this off for you with the hope of
hearing from you again soon. I continue to enjoy looking at your
Genealogy Website and am glad you put your picture on it. Till later!
Love and hugs,
Janet
b.bborn
b(5/4/69yoyou
(2)Tony McAfee b. 5/2l/67
(3) Nicole Marie McAfee