Tongue and Groove
Members’ News
Enquiries: Secretary 0417 425 007
Mail: PO Box 20 Labrador QLD 4215
Social BBQ
Some 24 members again enjoyed a
great BBQ in the park in spite of the
annoying rain.
Thanks to Ken for the organisation
and Ron and Tony for their help on
the day.
Upcoming Events
Maleny Wood Show
We are planning a bus trip to the
Maleny Wood Show on 5th May for
members only.
March 2012
Email: secretary@mensshedlabrador.org.au
Wedbsite: www.mensshelabrador.org.au
The re-arrangement and guarding of
the woodturning lathes has been
successfully completed and seems to
be working well. Thanks to Ron
Chetham and his team for their hard
work.
We have again received an amount of
very valuable pieces of timber from
Riviera. This is cherrywood and teak,
which will be excellent for turning.
Ken has priced each piece so please
ask the shed captain if you wish to
purchase a piece.
Peter has sold four of his bio-char
burners and has an order for another
three.
Please put your name down on the
list provided.
Christmas in July
A bus trip to Stanthorpe for
Christmas in July is being planned.
This will be a two-day, overnight trip
for members and partners. It is
anticipated that the cost will be
around $300 for the bus, dinner and
accommodation.
*
Shed Happenings
The mentoring programme with
students from Labrador State School
is progressing and we hope to start
up at the beginning of Term 2.
Denis Nunn has offered to assist with
this programme.
Graham Braund has started a
Tuesday night woodturning session
and if the first one is anything to go
by it will be a raging success. Well
done Graham.
John Muller has been appointed
Purchasing Officer for maintenance
items.
MAINTENANCE/PURCHASING
OFFICER From President Frank
Our shed is growing rapidly and as
our equipment usage grows with it,
so does keeping track of the
maintenance and acquisition of parts
etc. Accordingly we have confirmed
JOHN MULLER as
MAINTENANCE/PURCHASING
OFFICER.
All requests for equipment repair and
replacement/sharpening MUST go
through John. Members should notify
the SHED CAPTAIN of the day of any
requests and he will make note in the
day diary for attention John Muller.
*
Football Boots
A woman takes a lover home during
the day while her husband is at
work.
Her 9 year old son comes home
unexpectedly, sees them, and hides
in the bedroom cupboard to watch.
Just after getting into bed the
woman's husband also comes home
unexpectedly, she tells her lover to
hide in the cupboard, not realising
that the little boy is in there.
After a little while the little boy says,
‘Dark in here. ‘
The man, who obviously got a real
fright not expecting to hear anything,
let alone from a little boy says, ‘Yes,
it is.’
Boy - 'I have a football.'
Man - 'That's nice.'
Boy - 'Want to buy it?'
Man - 'No, thanks.'
Boy - 'My dad's outside.'
Man - 'OK, how much?'
Boy - '$250'
In the next few weeks, it happens
again that the boy and the lover are
in the cupboard together.
Boy - 'Dark in here.'
Man - 'Yes, it is.'
Boy - 'I have football boots.'
The lover, remembering the last
time, asks the boy, 'OK How much
this time?'
Boy - '$750'
Man - 'Sold.'
A few days later, the boys' father
says to the boy, 'Grab your boots and
football, let's go outside and have a
game of soccer.
The boy says, 'I can't, I sold my ball
and boots.'
The father asks, 'How much did you
sell them for and to who?'
The boy says, 'To a friend of mine for
a $ 1,000.'
The father says, 'That's a terrible
thing to do, overcharging your friend
like that'. 'That's four times what they
cost when they were new, I'm going
to take you to church and make you
confess your terrible sins.'
They go to the church and the father
makes the little boy sit in the
confession booth and he closes the
door.
The boy says, 'Dark in here'.
The priest says, 'Don't start that shit
again you little prick, you're in my
cupboard now'!!
A BLONDE IN CHURCH---
An Alabama preacher said to his
congregation,
'Someone in this congregation has
spread a rumor that I belong to the
Ku Klux Klan.
This is a horrible lie
and one which a Christian community
cannot
tolerate.
I am embarrassed and do not intend
to accept this. Now,
I want the party
who did this to stand and ask
forgiveness from God and this
Christian Family.'
No one moved.
The preacher continued, 'Do you
have the nerve to face me and
admit
this is a falsehood?
Remember, you will be forgiven and
in your heart
you will feel glory.
Now, stand and confess your
transgression.'
Again, all was quiet.
Then, slowly, a drop dead gorgeous
blonde with a body that would stop
traffic, rose from the third pew.
Her head was bowed and her voice
quivered as she spoke, "'Reverend,
there has been a terrible
misunderstanding. I never said you
were a member of the Ku Klux
Klan.
I simply told a couple of my
friends that you were a wizard under
the
sheets."
The preacher fell to his knees, his
wife fainted, and the congregation
roared.
Biography Corner
“I wanna tell a funny story”………..
Well I think it’s funny now, but 46
years ago it was far from that!
The day I turned 16 my Dad pulled
me out of school and I was indentured
to a small furniture making shop that
also did boat fit-outs. Some pretty
upmarket stuff came out of that
business!
My Dad was a North England
Craftsman and it was traditional for
the eldest son to follow their Dad. I
followed at least three generations of
my family. One in three blokes born
in my hometown of Liverpool either
went to sea or worked in shipbuilding.
About three months into my
apprenticeship, which was 10,000
hours long, I was working on a “gun
Saw” which is a bit like our Cross Cut
saw. I was cutting about 40 pieces of
4”x2” timber to a certain length, 3 or 4
feet I suppose. I remember the
timber was Obechi and Sapelli, about
half and half. It was African timber
and it was for a bank job.
At about 10 to 5 in the afternoon I
discovered that I had cut the timber
some inches too short!!! My heart
went down to my feet and I thought I
would die. I told no-one….the
foreman would have killed me!
The foreman, Johnny Davis (God love
him) was an ex paratrooper and had
dropped behind the German lines on
D-Day and also the ….. Bridge in
Holland (I’ve forgotten the name of
it…it began with an “A”). He was big
and tough and had a habit of
whacking apprentices over the back
of the head for the silliest mistake.
I made my way home on the bus
absolutely devastated, what would
happen to me? I couldn’t eat my
dinner and went to bed with “What’s
up lad?” What was I to do? I had no
excuses. One of the foreman’s wise
sayings was “measure twice and cut
once!” I had ignored it!
I caught the bus the next morning
with my stomach in a knot, praying
for the first time since Sunday School
for some sort of divine intervention.
I considered begging for sanctuary at
the nearest church!
Reluctantly I climbed off the bus at
the corner of Nelson Street and
splashed my way, head down
through the rain and the darkness
around the corner. Suddenly I
tripped over something – it was some
big pipes across the footpath. I
realised that they were hoses and
that they disappeared around the
next corner. I quickened my steps
and followed them. Rounding the
corner, there before my very eyes
was a smouldering ruin. The Wood
Shop!!
God had heard my fervent prayer.
We never discovered the cause of the
fire although there was the inevitable
rumour of arson – the company was
said to be losing money.
POSTSCRIPT
It was discovered that everyone on
the shop floor was insured up to the
hilt, both journeymen and
apprentices and a few days after the
divine intervention we were trucked
down to a tool warehouse. We all
made the most of our luck and I
came out with a full kit of tools.
As a first year apprentice I was
earning one & three ha’pence
(1/1½d) per hour plus tuppence an
hour tool money.
I did alright!
On Monday last, the shed was
descended upon by Anna Bligh, Peta
Kaye Croft, Peter Lawlor and a large
media contingent.
The Premier was given a tour of the
shed by Frank and in her address to
the media announced a commitment
of $120,000 towards the building of
another shed.
This will, of course depend on her
being re-elected.
There is a block of land being made
available to us by Council, in front of
the Mike Hatcher Raceway and we are
in the process of negotiating the
lease.
We will keep you posted as
developments unfold.
The moral of the story is measure
twice and cut once!
Pete B
Walking Group
Frank has started a walking group
that will meet at Charis Seafood at
6.15am each Friday. This is not
training for a marathon, simply
getting a bit of exercise, taking in
the delights of the Broadwater and
other walkers.
Michael George
Albert Lewis
Bots, Rita, Frank and Len on day one
Vale Joan Docker
Two weeks ago five members
attended the funeral for Terry
Docker’s wife who passed away after
a long battle with cancer.
Our thoughts and sympathy are with
you Terry.
Next General Meeting
The next general meeting will be
held on Tuesday 17th April 2012.
This month the following members
celebrate:
Ron Chetham
Pete Braniff
Terry Docker
Bob Holmes
Albert Lewis