Sarah Takacs
Prof. Conrad
English 3050
10/02/12
Rhetorical Grammar
Chapter 5, exercise 15, pg 93
Instructions: Revise the following passages to improve their cohesion. Think especially about
reader expectation and the known-new contract.
1. At the edge of the Mississippi River in St. Louis stands the Gateway Arch, the world’s
tallest monument. The stainless steel structure, designed by Eero Saarinen,
commemorates the Westward Movement.
2. Psychologists believe that color conveys emotional messages. By using color psychology,
advertisers routinely manipulate consumers the pure white blackgrounds and bold
primary colors of detergent boxes are thought to influence buyers. Associated with those
colors are cleanliness and strength.
3. The relentless heat of California’s great Central Valley makes the summer almost
unbearable at times. It is not unusual for the temperature to reach 100 degrees in
Bakersfield, the hottest temperature in the valley.
4. Getting chilled or getting your feet wet won’t cause a cold. What you’re catching is a
virus that actually does the job, not the weather.
5. Directed by the U.s. Marshal Service, the federal witness-protection service began in
1968. This program created new identities for over four thousand in extreme danger
because they have testified against criminals.
Crafting Personal Essay
Chapter 9, pg 110
Almost Impossible
There is one event in my life that I’ll never forget for the rest of my life, and it’s an
“almost impossible” experience as well. Before we moved to Clinton, my family and I used to
live in Tucson, Arizona, where Bryce, my older brother, and I were born. I was finishing up my
Freshman Year at Palo Verde High School, around my 16th birthday, when our parents
announced to us, all 7 kids (4 boys and 3 girls) that our dad was retiring from the Air Force, and
that we would be moving to Utah that summer. Although it was hard for us to move, I was used
to moving around years ago mainly we had moved several times throughout my life. The biggest
challenge for me, however, was still to come. Before we moved, my entire family had to do one
last medical check-up on base in Tucson. After the doctor took a good look at my eyes for a
minute/two, he called both my folks in; therefore, it was here where my life-long challenge
began. He told me and my parents that there was something wasn’t right about my eyes, and that
he would have to send me to see a specialist to check it out. A few days later, my mom took me
to the place where my doctor sends me, and the specialists there did several tests on me. After
Sarah Takacs
Prof. Conrad
English 3050
10/02/12
taking a few minutes looking at the results, they finally gave us the new: I had developed an eye
disorder, and that I would never be able to drive in my lifetime because of it. I was so devastated
by the news that I began to cry. I was about to turn 16, the year I would finally be able to drive,
and now that chance was taken away from me for good! I can’t continue describing my feelings
about the subject because I don’t recalled what they were. That all happen six years ago, but still
the memory is still stuck in my mind, one that I’ll have to take with me for the rest of my life.
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