Thank You for The Truth
Introduction - Life stories (on the stage)
I. Truth - actual state of a matter
The barrier most people face in speaking the truth is that they don’t want to do it
in a way that hurts other people and stirs up trouble. Knowing how to speak the
truth in a way that causes others to say thank you overcomes that
barrier. Breakthroughs in relationship communication are always brought about
by saying unarguable things and never by blaming. It’s possible to communicate
the most difficult truths in this way, so that people are literally filled with gratitude
afterwards.
When You Speak The Unarguable, People Don’t Argue
If I say to you, “My stomach feels nauseated,” you’d have a difficult time arguing
with me. If I say to you, “You make me sick to my stomach,” you’d probably find
plenty to argue with me about in that sentence. The difference is intention. If I
say, “My stomach feels nauseated,” my intention is to reveal my inner
experience. If I say, “You make me sick to my stomach,” my intention is to blame
you for my experience. In speaking difficult truths so that people thank you
afterwards, the key is to reveal your inner experience and stay out of blame.
With regard to thanks, there are many situations in which people felt upset at
hearing unarguable truths. However, they are likely to registered the impact of
the communication and learn from it later. When they’ve digested it thoroughly,
they often thank and appreciate the speaker for being courageous enough to
speak the truth in a way that didn’t produce arguments.
Your commitment to this possess does not guarantee tension will not occur.
Those who you communicate with may not choose to avoid blaming. When
presented the truth, they may indulge in attacking you personally. You do not
have the capacity to shape their communication. However, it is difficult to argue
alone. As for you, avoid blaming and stick with the truth.
II. Why the truth?
1 - Truth endures the test of time.
5 For the Lord is good; His mercy is everlasting, And His truth endures to all
generations.
Psalms 100:5 | NKJV
Truth does not change.
2 - Truth makes us free.
32 And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.”
John 8:32 | NKJV
The truth releases us from false associations.
3 - Truth gives us longevity.
14 The king who judges the poor with truth, His throne will be established
forever.
Proverbs 29:14 | NKJV
The truth empowers us to have continued effectiveness.
III. What are the necessary tools for speaking the truth without blaming?
1 - Heartfelt Love
12 Hatred starts fights, but love pulls a quilt over the bickering.
Proverbs 10:12 | MSG
8 And above all things have fervent love for one another, for “love will cover a
multitude of sins.”
1 Peter 4:8 | NKJV
Guiding-line questions:
Do your comments cover or expose? What is the intent of your comments?
(Display love or to prove someone wrong?)
2 - Accurate account of the issue
15 “Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between
you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he
will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ‘by the mouth of two or three
witnesses every word may be established.’
Matthew 18:15-16 | NKJV
Guide-line questions:
Are your comments behavior oriented? Can you clearly state others actions?
3 - Wisdom with words
Wisdom - discernment or insight.
1 A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
Proverbs 15:1 | NKJV
5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and
without reproach, and it will be given to him.
James 1:5 | NKJV
Guide-line questions:
How does your choice of words affect your demeanor? How does your choice of
words affect the demeanor of others?
IV. People deserve the truth
Each of us knows when we are not being completely open and honest with
others. The ENERGY that we expend withholding is a false economy, an illusion
– because we all know what’s really going on and we all know others know we
know they know … So, what actually stops you from being totally truthful/honest
with everyone, about everything, all the time? Why do you withhold, omit
information, embellish, exaggerate, fudge a little, or just plain lie?
Is it really worth it?
Sent with His glory and your good!