Sample Body Paragraph:
To convey the threatening nature of the variola, Preston often compares its behavior to that of
fire. For example, at one point he writes, “Variola major had begun to flicker unseen” (87).
Preston directly uses the word “flicker” to compare the beginning of the variola outbreak to the
beginning sparks of a warm flame. The use of the word “unseen” is what introduces the
threatening nature of the variola, as it implies an inability to counteract the hidden fire. Later on
that same page, Preston continues the fire comparison by writing, “Variola major roared up…out
of nowhere and everywhere, coalescing out of brushfires into a viral crown fire across the
country” (87). Preston illustrates the danger now brought about by the growing impact of the
virus, described in violent terms such as “roar” and directly referred to as “crown fire.” Preston
makes the transition here from unseen threat to a present and fatal danger. Preston continues to
use fire imagery when discussing how people combated the epidemic. He explains how the
eradicators counteracted the variola in terms of “ring vaccinations” and “an act of nature…to
cool the viral fire” (p #?). Ring vaccinations parallel the rings of containment used to combat
wildfires, and the idea of cooling the viral fire with water is very reminiscent of putting out an
actual fire.
Comments: This is a very good body paragraph. Not only does it contain solid, specific
evidence, the analysis is also quite advanced. Notice how each quotation about fire is not
followed by the same observations (variola is compared to fire to make it seem dangerous…or
something to that effect.). Instead, each piece of evidence is analyzed as part of a pattern, with
the analysis highlighting just how that pattern proceeds with each new mention of fire. A little
more context is needed at the end (where is the water coming from), and a page number is
missing, but overall, this is a strong body paragraph that is thorough without becoming
redundant.