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PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS
Relational Transgression:
Parent-Child Relationships
Megan Howard
University of Kentucky
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PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS
Abstract
The following paper explores and examines scholarly research that investigates the
transgression in parent-child relationships. During the examination, the paper will discuss
different reasons why this relational transgression occurs. One of these reasons, and a
main one at that, is parental separation, also known as divorce. A study will be conducted
of how many children are affected by divorce each year, and how that impacts their lives
with their parents. Other factors are present in relational transgression with children and
their parents, such as puberty, which will also be discussed in this paper.
Keywords: Relational Transgression, Parent-Child Relationship, Divorce, Puberty
PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS
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Relational Transgression:
Parent-Child Relationships
As a child grows older, their relationship with their parents can become rocky. As with
any relationship, it can, and most likely will, go through the stages of relational
transgression. Throughout this paper, the sources and scholarly facts will argue that
parent-child relationships go through different stages and experience relational
transgression. Relationship transgression with parent-to-child can be affected by
numerous things, such as spousal arguments or lifestyle changes, or changes through
other siblings or other family members. A lot of different aspects can change a childparent relationship, some that are preventable and some that are not. This paper will
argue why these occurrences happen and what causes relational transgression between
parents and children.
Separation of parents have been linked in early research to being associated with many
“negative outcomes in children, such as emotional and behavioral problems, poor school
achievement, low self-esteem, and juvenile delinquency,” (Amato). However, in more
recent studies, it shows that the interpersonal relationships and conflict with children and
parents are more important than the action of divorce in the growth of parent-child
relationships (Amato). With this being said, basically they are saying that new research is
suggesting that even in households where the parents have divorced, if there is less
arguing between parents and more personal time with parent and child, the better off the
child will be. Adult children, in addition to young children, have less affection and come
in less contact with their parents who have divorced. This reason for relational
transgression may be the more obvious than any other reason.
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On the other hand, parent-child problems in relationships might be caused by something
that cannot be controlled; puberty. The amount of arguments or disagreements that the
adolescent has with his or hers’ parents can be factored into puberty, as well as become
less warm and welcoming interactions (Paikoff, R. & Brooks-Gunn, J.).
The behavior in children that experienced disruptions in their family life such as parents
divorcing was examined in a study that discovered the correlation between the two. When
asked via survey at an elementary school, “more than half of all the children” interviewed
claimed that they “feel afraid when their parents have arguments”, thus showing that the
more parents or parental figures argue in front of a child, more psychological damage
will occur (Peterson & Zill). The research and study were completed many decades ago
but still can be implied today, seeing as more divorces happen today than when this was
taken. This study was researched using a “national sample of 1,400 children aged 12-16”
(Peterson & Zill) in 1981.
A study that “examined features of parenting behavior and the parent–child relationship
as correlates of peer victimization in young children” was taken with roughly 200 young
children until they were kindergarteners (Ladd). This study was taken via video in the
child’s home and taped the parents interaction with the children. The data was used to
create “measures of parenting behavior and relationship quality,” (Ladd). This study
came up with results that said the more intense the closeness is of parent to child, the
more likely the child would be to be peer-victimized. This study is related to relational
transgression in a way that divorce is. If a child feels a certain way based off of what
happens at home, it can stress the relationship between the parent and the child.
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In a study completed by Floyd and Morman (2011) yabout father and son relationships
and their communication, the results show that “high levels of affectionate interaction are
positively associated with relational satisfaction”, (Cupach & Spitzberg). In this study
they realized that in “adult father-son dyads” (p. 150), brothers tend to compete for their
father’s affection when the father does not notice distributing affection unevenly. These
results illustrated that “what one member of a dyad considers affection given might not
be perceived as such by the receiver”, (Cupach & Spitzberg). This helps understand
father-son communication perception and how there may be problems in the
communication process between the two.
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PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS
Advice Column
If you are a male and you are struggling to find a good relationship with your father, you
have come to the right place. A lot of young men, and even older men, have trouble with
their fathers and balancing a good relationship with them between their other male
siblings when it comes to receiving affection. I would advise you to be more
understanding that not everyone has the same definition of affection, and your father may
not realize that you perceive him as more lenient and affectionate to one son more than
the other. You could also talk to your brother about how he and your father interact and
maybe if you change your interaction style, you could feel more affection come your
way. You could also try talking to your father about the issue. Maybe he feels more
comfortable being affectionate with his other son(s) because of a personality trait that
they carry, that you lack. Talking and compromise go a long way if you are patient
enough to discuss things that are bothering you.
If you are interested in learning more about strengthening your relationship with your
father, please visit fatherhood.about.com, or http://www.my719moms.com/news/theimportance-of-the-father-son-relationship/ for additional information.
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PARENT-CHILD RELATIONSHIPS
References
Amato, Paul. (1986). Marital Conflict, the Parent-Child Relationship, and Child
Self Esteem, Family Relations, 35(3), pp. 403-410.
Brooks-Gunn, J., Paikoff, R. L. (1991). Do Parent-Child Relationships Change
During Puberty?, Psychological Bulletin, 110(1), pp. 47-66.
Cupach, W.R., Spitzberg, B. H. (2011). The Dark Side of Close Relationships II:
Father-son relationships. New York, NY. Routledge. pp. 150-151.
Peterson, J. L., Zill, N. (1986). Marital Disruption,
Parent-Child Relationships, and Behavior Problems in Children, Journal of
Marriage and Family, 48 (2).
pp. 295- 307.
Ladd, G.W., Ladd, B.K. (1998). Parenting behaviors and parent-child
relationships: Correlates of peer victimization in kindergarten?
Developmental Psychology, 34 (6). Pp. 1450-1458
http://www.my719moms.com/news/the-importance-of-the-father-son-relationship/
http://fatherhood.about.com/od/sonsanddads/a/Ten-Ways-To-Strengthen-FatherAnd-Son-Relationships.htm