Getting Along across Cultures: Cultural Values, Communication and Conflict Styles, Face,
and Relationship Management
Rebecca L. Oxford, Ph.D.
I-TESOL
Oct. 18, 2014
Four Landmarks on Our Journey
1. Cultural values, especially those of individualist cultures (for instance, most of Western Europe and North America) and
collectivist cultures (for example, most of Asia, Africa, and South America).
2. Communication styles, which vary drastically across cultures, resulting in confusions that are then addressed by different conflict
styles.
3. Face, or the honor and respect that a person holds in the eyes of others. Some cultures prize face above everything else,
while other cultures are less concerned.
4. Cross-cultural relationship management principles, which help us manage relationship conflicts and forge strong bonds regardless
of cultural differences.
Cultural Values
Triandis (1995) estimated that 70% of the world’s cultures are collectivist, and the other 30% are individualist. The U.S. is
highly individualist.
Aspect of Interest
Collectivist Cultures
Individualist Cultures
Main Focus
Values
The person is part of a strong, tight ingroup, such as an extended family, in which
people participate from birth. Companies
can become tight in-groups, too.
Group is more important than the
individual
– Harmony
– Interdependence
– Filial piety (deference to elders)
– Long-term, cohesive relationships
– Groups closely nurture, protect, and
guide members, while expecting longterm loyalty from them
Loyalty to and emotional dependence on
the group, which in turn cares for the wellbeing of the individual
Less concern for privacy
Achievement
– Achievement may be important, but
individuals who want attention are
restrained (“the nail that stands up
must be hammered down”)
– Credit or blame for a project is
attributed to the group
Formality and ritual
Fatalism
Eloquence and indirectness
The person is a separate, unique individual.
Individuals are expected to take care of
themselves and their immediate families.
The unique and special person is more
important than the group
– Personal rights and needs, such as
privacy
– Self-reliance, autonomy, and personal
responsibility
– Individual is to blame for not finding
opportunities
– High competition, less cooperation
– Can-do attitude, anything is possible!
Loose relationships
– Many interpersonal connections of
short duration
– Loose, wide networks among people
Achievement
– Credit or blame for a project is
attributed to the individual, rather
than the group
– Individual task completion and
achievement are more important than
relationships
– Anything can be done with enough
effort (not fatalist)
– Time is money
– Use logic to get things doneSelfreliance, autonomy, and personal
responsibility
Collectivist Cultures
Individualist Cultures
High-context communication is largely indirect,
with much of the message unsaid and with many
meanings and values implicitly shared by others in
that culture – but not by outsiders. Most of the
meaning is not communicated through the words
themselves. Meaning is communicated through
facial expression, posture, eye contact, physical
contact, tone, status, eloquence (Hall, 1976). Truth
emerges nonlinearly, without necessitating
consistency or firm logic. Dialectical thinking, or
the acceptance of cognitive dissonance (presence
of simultaneously incongruous ideas), is more
frequent in high-context communicators.
High-context communicators think low-context
communicators are very rude.
Most of the information is in the explicit
code, i.e., is openly expressed in words. No
need for many contextual cues from
tradition, the physical environment,
nonverbal behavior, social status, or family
background (Hall, 1976). Decisions are
largely made on the basis of facts rather
than feelings. Discussions are expected to
lead to action. Key information is “out on
the table,” logically and briefly presented.
No patience for eloquence, formalities,
circular arguments, dialectical thinking.
Yes-no thinking. Legalistic.
Low-context communicators distrust highcontext communicators.ng people, unlike
the long-term, cohesive relationships found
in collectivist cultures.
Aspect of Interest
Communication Styles
The individual is independent, unique, and special
Usually Avoiding, Accommodating, perhaps
Conflict Styles
Compromising
Honor (face) is crucial
Maintaining face is a key to life
Shame is directly tied to face
Morality is often related to group shame (or
individual shame in reference to the group)
Threats to face in collectivist cultures:
– Doing anything that harms the group mission or
group solidarity
– Not following relevant gender-related customs
– Using gestures that are offensive
– Dressing unacceptably
– Losing temper in public
– Not using the appropriate greetings (words,
Face (honor in the eyes of
handshake style, etc.)
others; how others see you)
– Not learning customs for gifts or hospitality
– Constantly rejecting dinner invitations
– Not showing gratitude for hospitality
– Saying negative things about people
– Being overly direct
– Making fun of men holding hands in certain
collectivist cultures
– Asking too many personal questions
– Being too demanding,
– Stating feelings in a too-direct way
– Giving brutally honest feedback that might
undermine others’ dignity.
Usually Competing, sometimes
Collaborating or Compromising
Self-face orientation is more prevalent in
individualist cultures. Oetzel and TingToomey (2003) found that a concern about
maintaining one’s own face was associated
positively with the dominating conflict
style, which is often attributed to
individualist cultures.
During a conflict, people from individualist
cultures frequently maintain their own face
through directness, with the goal of
winning (Culpach & Metts, 1994).
Cross-cultural relationship management principles:
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Collectivist and individualist cultures need to understand the others’ cultural values. Reach out to the other culture while honoring
that culture’s values as much as possible
High-context and low-context communicators need to understand each other. Reach out to another culture using that culture’s
communication style as much as possible, including during negotiations
Across cultures, use cognitive empathy (an interpretation in which you intentionally try to see a situation, action, or person
through the eyes of the other culture)
Become an informal “cultural anthropologist”: Find a trustworthy cultural informant. Observe cultural dimensions in action. Ask to hear
stories and myths. Take notes. Have informal conversations about the culture. Ask yourself “What do I need to understand? Read
everything you can! Reframe to avoid stereotypes.
Listen well to others. Understand different conflict styles and use the most effective one for the situation; be flexible. Avoid
losing face and causing other individuals or cultural groups to lose face (use the appropriate facework strategy).