Psychology 1
Hints for the Essay Exam
Louie
Writing a Good Essay
I am assuming that you want to do well on the Essay exam, so I am offering you some hints on how I
will be grading your essays. You can be better prepared by knowing my expectations, and by
studying the material thoroughly. Generally speaking, I am looking for complete, clear, and
accurate information, presented in essay form.
For whatever reasons, many students like to “summarize” the information and show me that they
generally know the material. I don’t want you to show me that you “generally” know the material; I
require that you know the material in detail. You should write your answer as if your reader has no
background in psychology – you must explain the ideas completely – don’t assume that your reader
knows what you are talking about just because you bring up a phrase.
To make my expectations clear, I am providing you with some ideas as to how I would score parts of
an essay. The following essay tries to explain what a correlational study is, so it should include why
someone might choose to do a correlational study, what components are involved, and what the
strengths and flaws are. Unfortunately, some people think that if they tell a story about themselves,
the teacher will give them a good score. Sorry, but I don’t want to hear about you, I want to know
what you know about the concept.
“So when I was 3, I watched a lot of television and I was a very violent kid. My mother used to hit me
whenever I got into a fight, which was every day. I remember feeling very sad and angry until I
learned to control my temper. I wish someone could have helped me.” That was deep, but you
aren’t talking about correlational research; while I appreciate the story, this is 0 points. Try again.
“A correlation is when there is a relationship between 2 variables, like TV watching and violence.”
Okay, so you’ve given a basic definition; do you know what it means? If I had no background in
Psychology, I would not know what this means. For this sentence, I would give you 0.5 points.
Unfortunately, this is the typical essay that is written. Notice that the information is not wrong, but it is
so brief that the reader learns very little. Let’s add more information.
“A correlation is when there is a relationship between 2 variables (0.5 points). A variable is whatever
thing it is that a person is doing research on. So if you are studying TV watching and violence, the
variables would be TV watching and violence. (Good – you are explaining what a variable is; 0.5
points). In a correlational study, you are trying to find out if TV watching somehow goes together (or
is related) to violence. (You are specifically explaining what you mean by trying to find a relationship
between the variables – this is important to know; 0.5 points). In doing a correlational study, you
might end up with a positive correlation, a negative correlation, or zero correlation. (A lot of words
here, but they are only labels which don’t explain anything; you get ¼ point). A positive correlation
tells you that the variables you are studying go in the same direction, while a negative correlation
tells you that the variables are going in opposite directions, and zero correlation tells you that the
variables don’t go together at all. (While the information is correct, it makes no sense to your reader –
what does it mean to have variable go in the same direction, the opposite direction or don’t go
together at all? I’m very confused. I will give you 1 point for this entire set of correct definitions, but
you would earn more if you gave examples.) Total: 2-3/4 points for this paragraph – barely 50%.
Psychology 1
Hints for the Essay Exam
Louie
You can see that this writer is offering bits and pieces about correlational studies. She knows there
are variables involved, and there’s something about relationships, but she has not explained how it
works or why it’s useful – she gives details that seem to have no relevance to each other. The essay
doesn’t make a lot of sense because the main idea is missing. If you don’t have the main idea, your
essay has no guidance and will be confusing to your reader. Let’s try one more time.
“A correlation is when there is a relationship between 2 variables (0.5 points). A variable is whatever
thing it is that a person is doing research on. So if you are studying TV watching and violence, the
variables would be TV watching and violence (0.5 points). In a correlational study, you are trying to
find out if TV watching somehow goes together (or is related) to violence (0.5 points). In doing a
correlational study, a person will be able to make educated guesses, or predictions about what
happens when you have one variable (like TV watching) and how it might influence the presence of
another variable (like violence) (This looks promising – there is usefulness in doing a correlational
study – 0.5 points). So when a person does a correlational study, she is trying to answer the question:
if I know about one variable, like TV watching, what kind of prediction can I make about another
variable, violence? Do they go together? How do they go together? By studying the relationship
between the variables TV watching and violence, I will know what happens when a person watches
a lot of TV in regards to how violent he is. (Here is the main idea of correlational studies; now it makes
sense what you are trying to say – 1 point). In doing a correlational study, you might end up with a
positive correlation, a negative correlation, or zero correlation. (If you stop here, I will give you ¼
point for correctly giving the labels, but if you go on to explain these labels, I will take away the ¼
point and score your explanations). A positive correlation tells you that the variables you are
studying go in the same direction, while a negative correlation tells you that the variables are going
in opposite directions, and zero correlation tells you that the variables don’t go together at all. (The
information is correct, but it makes no sense – ½ point for each definition [minus the ¼ point for the
labels given in the prior sentence] = 1.5 points). What this means is that in a positive correlation, for
example, if the variable TV watching goes up (a person watches a lot of TV), then the other variable,
violence, also goes up – the correlational study has shown that there is a positive correlation between
these 2 variables: when a person watches a lot of TV, his rate of violence also is a lot – the 2 variables
go up together (An additional ½ point for the explanation of a positive correlation).
So for the above paragraph, you have earned 5 points; you can earn an additional ½ point each if
you give explanations of negative and zero correlations.
So, yeah, to get 5 points, requires a lot of thinking and writing (dang it!). Every idea must be put out
there – you can’t assume that I know what you are talking about, you must explain it. Students who
can think and write under pressure do fine on the in-class essay. You must present and explain all the
relevant details for a good score. If you can’t do this, it’s okay; it just means that you need more
practice. In that case, don’t beat yourself up – just go practice.