Matt Fredrickson
Attempting to take on a community connector role in any neighborhood can be a very
intimidating task – especially in the beginning. The work in my new neighborhood last summer
began with walking the streets, ready to introduce myself to anyone who would acknowledge me
– namely, people of peace (Luke 10). The first significant conversation I had was with a woman
who lives directly across the street from me in a similar style place as mine – garage turned
house or in her case, duplex. She was enjoying the cool evening weather in a lawn chair under
the shade of a big tree in her front yard. My wife (fiancé at the time) Priscilla and I approached
her on one of our first walks in the neighborhood. As we said “hi” and introduced ourselves as
the new couple soon to move in across the street, we slowly inched our way toward her. After the
usual greetings, our conversation moved quickly to a number of topics – ranging from the
neighborhood to church, family, work, career goals, and daily life. We bounced from topic to
topic as the woman seemed eager to speak with us. At one point in the conversation she hesitated
and after a short pause, said, “sorry I’m talking so much, it’s just so nice to talk to neighbors.”
She then described how the girl who used to live in my house would occasionally wave hurriedly
as she passed by, but rarely did anyone ever stopped to talk to her.
This was an extremely encouraging conversation, which led me to believe that this would
be one of my strongest connections in the neighborhood. Diane is a divorced, white, middle-aged
single woman, who works as a dermatologist part time and goes to University Church of Christ.
She has a very friendly interaction style and spends a good amount of time at home, frequently
sitting in her front yard – mainly to talk on the phone and smoke cigarettes.
Despite this outgoing first impression, Diane began to wall herself in – literally. On my
second or third attempt to speak with her – this time without Priscilla – things went a little
differently. The conversation picked up at a steady pace, where it had left off the first time. Since
Matt Fredrickson
our opening conversation had gone so well, and she seemed happy to talk to Priscilla and I in her
front yard, I felt comfortable walking right up to her. However after a few minutes, almost
abruptly with no concluding remarks, she got up from her chair in front of the house, went
inside, and closed the door. To date, this was the last lengthy conversation I have had with her.
During my neighborhood immersion, my foundational method for paying attention to
God in order to pay attention to my neighbors was spending time in the front yard reading
scripture and devotional material, praying, and paying attention my surroundings. This provided
me with many opportunities to interact with Diane. Previous to the awkward encounter described
above, we exchanged waves on a regular basis and would talk briefly from time to time.
However, after she shut the door on me unexpectedly, she began altering her front yard routine.
During the next week, I noticed that every morning when I walked outside and placed my chair
in the front yard, she would get up from hers and go inside. Initially, I figured that this was
merely coincidence and that I was over analyzing the situation. But the following week, instead
of placing her chair out in the open beneath the tree, she began sitting next to the house behind
her car, blocking herself from my vision. When this started, I became increasingly suspicious but
again, tried not to read too much into it. Eventually however, Priscilla started to notice similar
behavior. At the time, she only lived two blocks away, and would walk over every morning, so I
could make her breakfast and take her to work. As she crossed through the ally, past this
woman’s house, and across the street to mine, Diane would quickly get up and go inside.
Occasionally they would exchange waves, but most often, Diane would go inside before Priscilla
could get out a word. Not long after this, I began noticing that Diane was strategically parking
her car to block me from view (because there is no formal driveway), positioning it at varying
angles, depending on where she wanted to sit.
Matt Fredrickson
Despite this evasive behavior, she has continued to wave and put on a friendly front for
Priscilla and me, and we have continued to do our best to interact with her when possible. During
my role as a community connector over the summer, most of the people I came into contact with
seemed to enjoy getting to know me, and my continued isolated interactions with neighbors
gained momentum, which led to higher levels of intimacy. Priscilla and I were able to connect
with Diane’s next-door neighbor after speaking with him only a few times. One family two
streets down actually invited us into the house the first day we met. My conversations with my
next-door neighbor increased in meaning significantly as the summer progressed. I have even
been able to develop a potential friendship with someone who bikes past my house on a regular
basis; our continued friendly greetings eventually caused her to stop on her way, so we might get
to know each other. Some of these certainly qualify as people of peace. Is it possible that Diane
is not a person of peace? If so, what action should I take? Should I, in a similar manner as Jesus
describes in Luke 10, wipe the dust off my feet, when it comes to approaching her from across
the street. I’m certainly not moving anytime soon.
In one chapter of Barbara Brown Taylor’s book, An Altar in the World, she uses a
metaphor that became foundational for my fieldwork over the summer. Often, North Americans
develop “cattle paths.” “Cattle paths are narrow dirt canals that meander through wild grazing
landscapes.” Cattle will often choose routes that are the most efficient for their terrain and reuse
them over and over wherever they go, traveling single file. They use the single path track so
often that nothing can grow on it. This is great for getting from point A to point B quickly, but
imagine walking head to tail from one place to the other, back and forth, every day. Well, this is
the way many North American’s live their lives. The same is happening in neighborhoods and
even churches. Sitting in my front yard, it was very interesting to watch people come and go
Matt Fredrickson
from their homes each day. On several occasions, there would be 2-4 neighbors outside at the
same time. Never did anyone look up to see his or her next-door neighbors around him or her –
except when I interrupted. Spending time with God in the neighborhood gave me the confidence
I needed to disrupt my neighbors’ cattle paths. Many, like Diane, seem to be happy in their ruts
and do not wish to be disturbed. She experienced joy, when first getting to speak with Priscilla
and me, but seemingly became frightened by the prospect of me continuing to disrupt her cattle
path.
After two weeks of being out of town, I have returned to find Diane sitting out in the
open again. As someone who now cares deeply about this neighborhood, I will continue to seek
out productive ways of interacting with her. I have guessed at the possibility that I was simply
too forward in approaching my new neighbor, which frightened her. It may have been that she
was not comfortable conversing one-on-one with a man – even if in her front yard. Or perhaps
she simply sits outside specifically to have alone time. Her body language has caused me to
doubt the effectiveness of an invitation to my house for dinner, but maybe that is what I need to
do. Maybe I need to keep a distance until she approaches me. What would you do? How might I
help Diane step outside of her cattle path in the neighborhood?