Homily for the 22 nd
Sunday of OT, year B, 8/30/2009, Blessed Sacrament Church
I want to begin with a little story. Once upon a time, there was a young man named John and a young woman named Mary. When John and
Mary first met, they really hit it off and they decided to start dating. A few days later, a bouquet of flowers was delivered to Mary’s home. She was excited, she knew they must be from John. So she rushed over to his house to thank him. “Yeah, they’re from me,” said John, “That’s what I’m supposed to do to be a good boyfriend right?” Mary was a little confused for a moment by John’s response, but she smiled at him and gave him a hug to thank him for the flowers.
The next night, John and Mary went out to a movie. John paid for the movie and Mary thanked him for that, but John just said, “Well, I’m just trying to be a good boyfriend.” After the movie, Mary said to John,
“Wow, wasn’t that a great movie? I’ve been really wanting to see that one. Did you like it John?” “No, not really,” John said, “I didn’t really want to see it, but I was trying to be a good boyfriend.”
By this time, Mary was starting to get tired of that refrain. “John what does that mean? Why do you keep saying that? This relationship is not about you being a “good boyfriend” it’s about caring about each other, and getting to know each other!”
The next morning, Mary found a stuffed bear sitting on her porch. She knew it must be from John so she rushed over to his house to thank him… But John’s response was the same. “I’m just trying to be a good boyfriend.” Frustrated at him, Mary demanded that he tell her where he was getting that phrase and why he kept repeating it. Grudgingly, John took a little book out of his pocket and showed it to her. It was entitled,
“1000 ways to be a good boyfriend.” When Jane opened it, she saw that a few items had checks next to them:
- Send her flowers
- Pay for her to go to see a movie
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- Buy her a stuffed animal
“I thought if I just followed those rules, I would be a good boyfriend!”
John said, “It’s working isn’t it?”
Now, as you might be able to guess, that was pretty much the end of
John and Mary’s relationship. Sure John was trying to be a “good boyfriend,” but all he was doing was following a list of rules, rather than entering into a real friendship with Mary. Sure, Mary liked the flowers
John sent her, but she liked them because she thought they were a sign of John’s love for her. In actual fact though, John was just doing what the book told him to do. He was just following the rules – in order to be a “good boyfriend.”
Now hopefully most of us can see that this is a pretty ridiculous way to act in a relationship. Whether we’re talking about dating, friendship, marriage or family relationships, this just doesn’t work. You can’t have a real relationship with someone if all you are doing is following rules.
So why is it that so many people think they can have a relationship with
God just by following rules? If we think that we can, then we have truly missed the point.
This is what underlies Jesus’ disagreement with the Pharisees in the
Gospel. You see, by the time of Jesus, the Jewish religion had become heavy with hundreds of little rules that had gradually accumulated over the centuries. In this case, the Pharisees are quibbling over whether his disciples washed their hands before they ate. Now this was not about having clean hands – normally you didn’t even use enough water to actually get your hands clean. The hand-washing was to get rid of ritual impurity – it was just a rule that you had to follow. Yet, as Jesus points out, religion is much more than just following external rules:
This people honors me with their lips,
but their hearts are far from me;
in vain do they worship me!
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Just as in the case of John and Mary, rule-following was not enough to sustain their relationship, so neither is it enough to sustain a relationship with God. This is what Jesus is driving at.
So what does this mean for us? Well, if all we do is come to Mass on
Sunday, if we don’t pray if you don’t have a personal relationship with
God, then we cannot be “good Catholics” any more than John was a
“good boyfriend.” Following the rules is not enough.
So does that mean we can just ignore the “rules?” Of course not. It is essential that we strive to live lives that are pleasing to God: Jesus says
“If you love me you will keep my commandments.” It is essential to our faith that we come to Church on Sunday, that we receive the sacraments, that we strive to live according to the moral teachings of the Church.
These things are necessary. But they’re worthless if we do them just to follow the rules. God did not create us to be robots. Jesus says, “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” We have to start by loving
Jesus, so that we will want to please Him. Then keeping His commandments will not be a matter of rule following, it will be a sign of our love for Him.
On the surface, it was great that John sent Mary flowers and took her out to a movie. But it all turned out to be meaningless because John was only doing those things out of obligation
. His actions didn’t flow from love, they didn’t flow from a real relationship with Mary. He was just following the rules.
If it didn’t work for John, in his relationship with Mary, so why would it ever work for us in our relationship with God? It simply won’t.
So how do we change things? What’s the first step in building a real relationship with God? Well, just like any relationship, in order for it to grow, you have to spend time with the other person . That means taking
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time for prayer every day . It has to be every day, whether you feel like it or not. Prayer is not something that we do only when we feel inspired or only when we want something from God. Prayer, just like relationships, requires discipline and commitment.
Now you may object, “Father, I just don’t have time to pray every day. I am so overloaded, so busy, even my friends and family have to make appointments with me.” That’s okay. All that means is that you need to give God an appointment. Schedule a time each day. And I’m going suggest that you start by scheduling fifteen minutes. Set fifteen minutes aside for God each day. That may sound like a lot, but if we really want to, we can squeeze it in. Maybe it means watching TV or using the internet fifteen minutes less each day. Maybe it means going off by yourself on your lunch break, or waking up fifteen minutes earlier. It’s possible to make the time.
During that 15 minutes you can pray in lots of different ways. You can reflect on a passage from the Bible. You can pray the Rosary. Or you can just sit quietly and talk to God, tell Him about your day, ask Him to help you to know Him better, thank Him for all that He’s given you.
However you decide to spend that time, what’s important is that you schedule it. Make that 15-minute appointment, and then show up for it.
This is what our faith is really about: not rules, but relationship. Once you have the relationship, following the rules is not so hard, because you will do it out of love, instead of out of obligation . You will live a
Christian life naturally - because God will be your friend.
This is the kind of Christianity that we all long for, deep down. Why do you think so many have left the Catholic Church to join Evangelical protestant groups? Because those groups offer a real relationship, a real friendship with Jesus Christ, not just rules to follow. The ironic thing is that we believe the same thing, and in fact it is only here that we can meet Jesus Christ personally, in the Eucharist, body, blood, soul and
Divinity. That relationship with Christ that we build through daily
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prayer will be nourished most profoundly at this altar, where Jesus becomes truly present, as our Lord and God… and as our friend.
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