Michael Shurtleff
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A: Hey mom. What is going on?
B: Oh… I was just wondering why this garage was
still a mess.
A. I meant to clean it before practice but I did not
have time.
B: Well I guess you will have time when I pull you
off of the team.
A. Really mom…over the garage you would ruin
the whole season.
B. Over the garage I would ruin your whole life if I
have to.
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Where is the love?
Who is the other person in the scene in relation
to me.
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A: Hey mom. What is going on?
B: Oh… I was just wondering why this garage was
still a mess.
A. I meant to clean it before practice but I did not
have time.
B: Well I guess you will have time when I pull you
off of the team.
A. Really mom…over the garage you would ruin
the whole season.
B. Over the garage I would ruin your whole life if I
have to.
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A: Do you know what happened to me last
night?
B: No idea
A. Really?
B. Really?
A. That is not what Jill said.
B. I have NO idea what you are talking about.
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What am I fighting for ?
What is my dream and how can I make it come
true in this scene?
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A: Do you know what happened to me last
night?
B: No idea
A. Really?
B. Really?
A. That is not what Jill said.
B. I have NO idea what you are talking about.
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A: I cannot believe you just did that?
B: I am hungry…starving
A: I have been looking forward to that
sandwich since 8 am when I got to work.
B: It is not like you can’t afford another one.
A: That is not the point. That is my sandwich
that you just ate.
B: Sorry.
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What just happened?
How do you feel about what just happened?
Try to physicalize it and start strong.
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A: I cannot believe you just did that?
B: I am hungry…starving
A: I have been looking forward to that
sandwich since 8 am when I got to work.
B: It is not like you can’t afford another one.
A: That is not the point. That is my sandwich
that you just ate.
B: Sorry.
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A: I hate you…I have decided that I hate you.
B: You hate me. Hate is a strong word.
A: But on you…it is deserved.
B: Just because he is taking me to prom and not
you is not a reason to hate me, is it. I mean we
have been friend for years and now you hate
me? Because of a prom date?
A: Yep, I think I do.
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Humor can exist in almost any situation
Find the humor that exists in the scene.
Try turning the scene on its ear by finding the
humor.
Connect with the partner via humor.
Don’t try to be funny…just find the
humor…there is a difference.
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A: I hate you…I have decided that I hate you.
B: You hate me. Hate is a strong word.
A: But on you…it is deserved.
B: Just because he is taking me to prom and not
you is not a reason to hate me. I mean we have
been friend for years and now you hate me?
Because of a prom date?
A: Yep, I think I do.
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A: Listen, Jill..I really think it is time we called this
whole thing off.
B: Jack the wedding is tomorrow. My whole family
is waiting to see us walk down that aisle.
A: I just think this is a HUGE mistake.
B: Think all you want but you are getting married
to me tomorrow. Like it or not.
A: I can’t. I am losing my mind here. I cannot
marry you. We are not right for each other.
B: Right or not, we are getting married tomorrow. I
don’t care if we get divorced Monday morning,
but you are NOT going to humiliate me in front of
everyone I know.
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Play the opposite of what you think should be
happening. Play against the text.
What ever is happening in the scene, the
opposite is happening as well.
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A: Listen, Jill..I really think it is time we called this
whole thing off.
B: Jack the wedding is tomorrow. My whole family
is waiting to see us walk down that aisle.
A: I just think this is a HUGE mistake.
B: Think all you want but you are getting married
to me tomorrow. Like it or not.
A: I can’t. I am losing my mind here. I cannot
marry you. We are not right for each other.
B: Right or not, we are getting married tomorrow. I
don’t care if we get divorced Monday morning,
but you are NOT going to humiliate me in front of
everyone I know.
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A: What is your problem?
B: What are you talking about?
A: I think you know…why all the attitude?
B: I’m sorry…I am just…tired.
A: Tired?
B: Yes
A: That’s all?
B: Yes…no that’s…I don’t want to have this
conversation right now.
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What is new?
Discover moment to moment actions
If you miss events, nothing will happen and
your scene will die.
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A: What is your problem?
B: What are you talking about?
A: I think you know…why all the attitude?
B: I’m sorry…I am just…tired.
A: Tired?
B: Yes
A: That’s all?
B: Yes…no that’s…I don’t want to have this
conversation right now.
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A. I have a confession.
B. Hmmm…that sounds intriguing.
A. I just wanted to tell you that I have really
enjoyed hanging out with you lately
B. Ok…where is this going?
A. Nowhere…it’s just I really think I want to be
more than friends.
B: Oh. Wow
A: Wow
B: I don’t know what to say. This is NOT what I
am thinking about when I am with you. I thought
we were just hanging out.
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Give and take
Give and receive
Discover your wins and losses in the
communication.
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A. I have a confession.
B. Hmmm…that sounds intriguing.
A. I just wanted to tell you that I have really
enjoyed hanging out with you lately
B. Ok…where is this going?
A. Nowhere…it’s just I really think I want to be
more than friends.
B: Oh. Wow
A: Wow
B: I don’t know what to say. This is NOT what I
am thinking about when I am with you. I thought
we were just hanging out.
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A. I want that cupcake
B. It is the last one. Mom did not even get one yet
A. I need that cupcake
B. I think you are being a bit dramatic.
A. Look I will make some more for mom later, but
if I don’t get that cupcake…you don’t understand
something really bad is going to happen.
B: I don’t want that. Take it. Just PROMISE me you
will make more.
A: Ok…fine…fine. Just hand it ove.
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Why is it important
Make it more important.
It has to be important or the scene falls flat.
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A. I want that cupcake
B. It is the last one. Mom did not even get one yet
A. I need that cupcake
B. I think you are being a bit dramatic.
A. Look I will make some more for mom later, but
if I don’t get that cupcake…you don’t understand
something really bad is going to happen.
B: I don’t want that. Take it. Just PROMISE me you
will make more.
A: Ok…fine…fine. Just hand it over.
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A: Oh my god. Jimmy is here.
B: Where?
A: Over there in the food court, talking to Phoebe
B: Where I don’t see him
A: By the Chic-Fil-A
B: Oh there….what the hell is she wearing?
A: She does look skanky
B: Is he…oh my god…they are kissing!
A: Oh no.
B: I am going to kill that boy. Where is my phone?
I need a photo of this.
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Events equal changes, especially in the
relationship
You have to create the events, otherwise,
nothing will happen--the scene will be dead
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A: Oh my god. Jimmy is here.
B: Where?
A: Over there in the food court, talking to Phoebe
B: Where I don’t see him
A: By the Chic-Fil-A
B: Oh there….what the hell is she wearing?
A: She does look skanky
B: Is he…oh my god…they are kissing!
A: Oh no.
B: I am going to kill that boy. Where is my phone?
I need a photo of this.
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A. I don’t know about this
B. C’mon this will be hilarious
A: You are always getting me into stupid stuff. I
don’t know why I go for it.
B: Know one is going to know it was us. Would
you just relax.
A: If we get caught I will be suspended and you
will be expelled.
B: This is under control ok. Would you take off
your diaper and grow up?
A: You grow up. This is lame. I am out.
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Where are you?
What tension or emotion does your location
create?
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A. I don’t know about this
B. C’mon this will be hilarious
A: You are always getting me into stupid stuff. I
don’t know why I go for it.
B: Know one is going to know it was us. Would
you just relax.
A: If we get caught I will be suspended and you
will be expelled.
B: This is under control ok. Would you take off
your diaper and grow up?
A: You grow up. This is lame. I am out.
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A: I know what your thinking.
B: You do?
A: I do
B: Really. What am I thinking
A: That I am the most beautiful person you have
ever seen and that you are lucky to have a girl
(boy) friend like me.
B: Oh I assure you that is not what I am thinking.
A: Shut up.
B: I was thinking that we should go to BK for
dinner. I really want a bacon double cheeseburger.
A: Oh that is romantic.
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It 's not insincere-it’s very true to life and real.
Game Playing and Role Playing is a way
dealing with reality, not escaping it.
For example, a teacher’s role with students in
college classroom setting is different than later
if they meet later at a cocktail party.
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A: I know what your thinking.
B: You do?
A: I do
B: Really. What am I thinking
A: That I am the most beautiful person you have
ever seen and that you are lucky to have a girl
(boy) friend like me.
B: Oh I assure you that is not what I am thinking.
A: Shut up.
B: I was thinking that we should go to BK for
dinner. I really want a bacon double cheeseburger.
A: Oh that is romantic.
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A: Do you know what happened to me last night?
B: No idea
A. Really?
B. Really?
A. That is not what Jill said.
B. I have NO idea what you are talking about what
happened?
A: I just had a really bad night.
B: Bad how?
A: I don’t really want to talk about it.
B: You brought it up.
A: Forget I said anything. Let’s just forget the whole
thing.
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Wonder about your partner and your situation
Have a secret - keep it a secret, but let it add
drive and intensity to your scene.
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A: Do you know what happened to me last night?
B: No idea
A. Really?
B. Really?
A. That is not what Jill said.
B. I have NO idea what you are talking about what
happened?
A: I just had a really bad night.
B: Bad how?
A: I don’t really want to talk about it.
B: You brought it up.
A: Forget I said anything. Let’s just forget the whole
thing.
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1. Relationship
2. Conflict
3. The moment before
4. Humor
5. Opposites
6. Discoveries
7. Communication and Competition
8. Importance
9. Find the events
10. Place
11. Game playing and Role Playing
12. Mystery and secret
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So your cold reads are not BORING!
So you have tools to help you make a choice.
So that you grab the auditors attention