WELCOME BACK TO
TDM FACILITATOR TRAINING
Preview of Day 2:
Role, Skills, Responsibilities
of a TDM Facilitator
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THE ROLE OF THE FACILITATOR
Handout 7-1
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FOCUSES THE GROUP’S ENERGY ON A COMMON TASK
– REACH A DECISION ABOUT A PLACEMENT ISSUE THAT
PROTECTS…PROVIDES SAFETY
– LEAST RESTRICTIVE/INTRUSIVE MANNER POSSIBLE
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ASSURES THE PURPOSE OF THE MEETING IS UNDERSTOOD
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ASSISTS ALL PARTICIPANTS TO BE INVOLVED
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WITH THE SOCIAL WORKER, MOVES THE GROUP DISCUSSION
TOWARD DETERMINING THE PLACEMENT/CUSTODY
RECOMMENDATION FOR THE CHILD
•
PROTECTS IDEAS AND INDIVIDUALS FROM ATTACK OR BEING
IGNORED – PROVIDES A SAFE, SUPPORTIVE ENVIRONMENT TO
PERMIT OPEN COMMUNCATION
•
IS SENSITIVE AND RESPONSIVE TO NON-VERBAL CUES; MANAGES
2
CONFLICT AND EMOTIONS
THE TDM FACILITATOR…
• PERIODICALLY SUMMARIZES, CLARIFIES, REFRAMES AND
INDENTIFIES AREAS OF AGREEMENT TO ASSIST THE GROUP
•IS AN INFORMATION RESOURCE FOR THE GROUP –
KNOWLEDGEABLE OF LAWS; AGENCY POLICIES & PROCEDURES;
SERVICES; BEST PRACTICE; AND MONITORS COMPLIANCE WITH
STANDARDS
•MOVES THE GROUP THROUGH THE PROBLEM SOLVING AND
DECISION MAKING PROCESS – MAINTAINING REASONABLE
TIMEFRAMES
•MANAGES THE PROCESS AND STRUCTURE OF THE MEETING,
RECOGNIZES THE FAMILY AND SW AS THE CONTENT EXPERTS
•IS RESPONSIBLE FOR HIGH QUALITY DECISIONS, INTERVENING
WHEN NECESSARY AS AN EXPERIENCED AND KNOWLEDGEABLE
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PARTICIPANT
THE TDM FACILITATOR…
• STRIVES TO DEVELOP CONSENSUS DRIVEN DECISIONS
• ACCURATELY RECORDS INFORMATION AND DECISIONS,
PROVIDING A COPY OF THE SAFETY/ ACTION STEPS AT THE
COMPLETION OF THE STAFFING TO ALL PARTICIPANTS
• MODELS SUPPORTIVE, NON-THREATENING, RESPECTFUL
BEHAVIOR
• IS COMMITTED TO ENCOURAGING THE PROFESSIONAL
DEVELOPMENT OF AGENCY STAFF
• WHEN STRENGTHS & GROWTH AREAS ARE OBSERVED
WITH AGENCY PARTICIPANTS THEY SHARE THEIR
PERCEPTIONS WITH WORKER & SUPERVISOR
4
AS YOU READ THROUGH
WHAT IS A TDM FACILITATOR (7-1),
CODE EACH ROLE WITH YOUR
ANTICIPATED LEVEL OF EASE OR
DIFFICULTY:
• VC = Very Challenging
• SC = Somewhat Challenging
• NP = No Problem
•S
= This is one of my Strengths
5
A REALISTIC PREVIEW OF A TDM
FACILITATOR POSITION
Handout 7-2
• Spokesperson
• No Case Load
• Experienced & Skilled
• The Power Of Group
Process
• Demonstrate Values
• Energizing/ Exhausting
• Manage Difficult Behaviors
• Monitor & Coach Staff
• Prepared & Focused
Punctual & Available To
Cover Any & All Meetings
6
Personal Awareness
It is essential that facilitators are aware of
their impact on the group
Facilitators should be
interested not interesting
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FACILITATOR
LEADERSHIP
CHARACTERISTICS
Handout 7-3
 BELIEF IN GROUP PROCESS
 ABILITY TO MODEL – BE INVENTIVE & CREATIVE
 ABLE TO BE OPEN
 STAMINA TO STICK WITH THE GROUP
 ABLE TO COPE WITH ATTACKS
 ABLE TO LEAD W/O NEED TO BE FOCUS OF
ATTENTION
 SELF-AWARENESS
 CULTURAL RESPONSIVENESS
8
Activity
Rate yourself on a scale of 1 – 10
1 – Does Not Describe Me
10 – Describes Me Completely
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FREQUENT NEEDS OF FACILITATORS
NOT GOOD, NOT BAD…UNLESS THEY DRAW FOCUS, GROWTH AND
DEVELOPMENT FROM THE GROUP.
Handout 7-4
LOOK GOOD
FEEL CONFIDENT/ SIGNIFICANT
BE LIKED…LOVED
BE RESPECTED
TO BE RIGHT
RESCUE AND SAVE
PRAISE AND RECOGNITION
POWER AND CONTROL
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EXERCISE
What Are The First Things That
Come To Your Mind
About………?
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PERSONAL ASSESSMENT
OF BEHAVIORS
Handout 8-1
Assess yourself for when the meeting is going well.
Repeat the assessment (using a different
writing implement) for a meeting
where you are feeling stressed/ the
meeting is in crisis/ you’re feeling
threatened / defensive.
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ACTIVITY!
Line up in alphabetical order by
your favorite movie or the last
movie you saw
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SOME COMMUNICATION SKILLS
FOR EFFECTIVE FACILITATION
Handout 8-2
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•
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ACTIVE LISTENING
CLARIFYING
COLLABORATING
CONFRONTING
CREDITING
EMPATHIZING
ENCOURAGING
ESTABLISHING
RAPPORT
HARMONIZING
INTERPRETING
VERBAL STATEMENTS
INTERPRETING NONVERBAL CUES
LINKING
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NEGOTIATING
PARAPHRAZING
REALITY TESTING
REFLECTINGMIRRORING
RELIEVING TENSION
SILENCE
STRENGTH-BASED
INTERVIEWING
SUMMARIZING
SUPPORTING
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AS YOU READ THROUGH
SOME FACILITATION SKILLS (8-2), CODE
EACH ROLE WITH YOUR ANTICIPATED
LEVEL OF EASE OR DIFFICULTY:
• VC = Very Challenging
• SC = Somewhat Challenging
• NP = No Problem
• S
= This is one of my Strengths
15
REFRAMING / CLARIFYING / REFLECTING
Handout 8-3
• HE’LL NEVER DO THAT
• SHE CAN’T STAND ME
• I’M TIRED OF HER
LYING TO ME
• HE NEVER DOES WHAT
HE’S TOLD
• I DON’T WANT TO
LIVE WITH HER
• SHE NEVER LISTENS
• HE’S A LIAR
• HE’S A DRUNK
• I’M TIRED OF HIS
ROTTEN ATTITUDE
• HE ALWAYS TALKS BACK
• SHE FLIRTS WITH
MY HUSBAND
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SO…
HOW DO WE STAY TRUE TO BEST PRACTICE
FACILITATION SKILLS WHEN THERE ARE
CHALLENGING BEHAVIORS PRESENTING IN
THE TDM MEETING?
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HOW TO HANDLE EMOTION,
DISAGREEMENT & CONTROVERSY
Handout 9-1
♥ ESTABLISH AND REFER TO
GROUND RULES
♥ KEEP THE FOCUS ON THE GOAL: TO
MAKE THE BEST POSSIBLE
DECISION THAT PROTECTS THE
CHILD(REN) WHILE BEING LEAST
INTRUSIVE/ RESTRICTIVE
♥ LISTEN/ HEAR
♥ ACKNOWLEDGE THE EMOTION AND
TRY TO UNDERSTAND
♥ EXPLAIN THE PURPOSE OF THE
MEETING
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HOW TO HANDLE EMOTION,
DISAGREEMENT & CONTROVERSY
Handout 9-1
♥ RECOGNIZE THE FAMILY’S
EXPERTISE
♥ COMMUNICATE COOPERATIVE
INTENTIONS
♥ CLARIFY AREAS OF
DISAGREEMENT & DIFFERENCES
♥ IDENTIFY AREAS OF AGREEMENT
♥ ENCOURAGE THE PERSON TO
DECRIBE THEIR EMOTION, IF THEY
ARE ABLE
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HOW TO HANDLE EMOTION,
DISAGREEMENT & CONTROVERSY
Handout 9-1
♥ ENCOURAGE UNDERSTANDING
♥ STAY FLEXIBLE AND ASSIST THE
GROUP TO DO THE SAME
♥ PROVIDE TISSUES, WATER
♥ NEGOTIATE OVER ISSUES
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♥ INTERRUPT
♥ TAKE IT PERSONALLY
DON’T
♥ BE CRITICAL OF THE
PERSON; JUDGE, LABEL,
ACCUSE, INSULT
♥ SEE IDEAS AND
DECISIONS AS WIN/
LOSE
♥ ACT TOO QUICKLY
♥ GET TOO CONCERNED
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WHAT CAN I DO WHEN…
AN INDIVIDUAL IS EXHIBITING
DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR
Handout 9-2
When it is a staff member you might
want to approach the person in private, point out
the problem, discuss and coach them in more
desirable behavior. Approach as an ally, not as
an authority.
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WHAT TO DO WHEN AN INDIVIDUAL IS
EXHIBITING DIFFICULT BEHAVIOR
Handout 9-2
•Try not to judge the behavior as right or wrong
•Attempt to maintain the balance between protecting
the group from the distracting behavior and
protecting the individual from undue attack
•Accept the behavior. Describe it. Ask about it
•Legitimize their feelings, perceptions or rights
•Refer to the ground rules if needed.
•Allow the group to self-monitor, if able
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BE PREPARED FOR…AND OUR
IDEAS ON HOW TO RESPOND
Handout 9-3
• Workers unprepared
• Disorganized, little or
incorrect information
• Workers not coming with
recommendation
• Staff not “owning” decision--win-lose mentality
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BE PREPARED FOR…AND OUR
IDEAS ON HOW TO RESPOND
Handout 9-3
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Challenges to you personally,
usually from supervisors
• Conflicting information from agency staff
and other professionals
• Behaviors from agency staff and other
professionals that isn’t “professional”
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TDM IS A PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
Handout 9-4
Believe in the group’s ability to be effective
Be respectful and demonstrate courteous behavior to all
Watch…Listen…Communicate…Recognize…Build…Support
Know your “hot buttons”
Stay open and flexible and creative
Maintain your energy throughout the meeting
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DO’s and DON’Ts:
TDM & DV
Handout 9-5
DO
• Examine your personal feelings and awareness
about domestic violence
• Recognize the reality of domestic violence in many
of the families we serve
• Ensure you get formal DV training for self, and
advocate for all agency staff to receive
• Identify behavioral (verbal and nonverbal) and
physical cues by meeting participants which could
indicate domestic violence
• When possible, evaluate who will be present during
the TDM meeting and determine your response in
advance
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DO
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Assess the safety of all participants (especially the
survivor) both during and after the TDM meeting
Create a climate in which the survivor can speak
honestly and safely
Be alert and responsive to threats, intimidation and
anger from the batterer during meetings, however
subtle
Remember: the best way to keep children safe is to
keep the non-offending parent safe
Treat the identified person who batters as a parent
and not as a person who batterers
Know a range of options for managing the meeting,
i.e. breaking, separating, telephone conferencing,
written communication etc.
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DO
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Be respectful, supportive and empowering of the
adult survivor
Dialogue around safety planning with adult
survivor for self and children
Assess and provide for concrete and immediate
needs (e.g. rent, transportation)
Consider all resources and be creative
Ensure planning holds the perpetrator responsible
and accountable
Develop collaboration with DV experts. Inform DV
advocates of the agency’s TDM process and ask
for their assistance in training, attendance and
identifying resources
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DO’s and DON’Ts TDM & DOMESTIC
VIOLENCE
Handout 9-5
PLEASE DON’T
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Allow blaming and/or
shaming
Believe the only way to
provide safety is to remove
victims from the home
Violate any protective/ court
orders
Have preconceived plans or
decisions for DV situations
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SUGGESTED FORMAT
FOR
PRE- TDM MEETING
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE CHECK IN
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HAVE A GOOD & RESTFUL
EVENING
DAY 3 BEGINS AT 9AM SHARP
SEE YOU THEN
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