Rus Ervin Funk, MSW
 Rape/sexual
assault
 Domestic and dating violence
 Sex trafficking
 Sexual harassment
 Prostitution and pornography
 Street harassment
 Stalking
 Men
tend to have a different experience and
understanding of violence than do women
 The
impact of activists efforts to understand
the dynamics of violence has meant
broadening the definition of what is violent




A lack of identification with the victim.
A perception of the situation as one that calls
for violence.
A decision to act violently
The means of doing harm to the other person.
 Men
commit the vast majority of sexual
violence.
 Men are sexually victimized by other men.
 Men’s sexual violence confines men.
 Women see men as potential threats.
 Men know and love survivors.
 Men know and love perpetrators.
 Men are part of the community.
 Men’s sexual violence is a human rights
violation.
© 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Tend
to have minimal or un-known
relationship
 Assume
other men (and women) think of men
as either victims or offenders
 “other-ing”
Organizational (Practices)
Intrapersonal
(Attitudes)
Relational
(Behaviors)
Community
(Norms)
Socio-Cultural
(Customs, laws, beliefs)
Threat/level of violence
Sexism
Gender
Sexual
Coerced/ Stranger Gang
Rape
Harassment Harassment Forced “sex” Rape
Rape Murder
*Based on the work of Rus Ervin Funk, Reaching Men: Strategies for
Preventing Sexist Attitudes, Behavior and Violence (2006).
 Collective


impact
How men’s violence (and the threat of men’s
violence) impact all women
How all men benefit from the violence that some
men perpetrate
 Sexism
as the core…
 Prevention education
Leadership development
Bystander intervention and support
Organizational level intervention
Community organizing
Policy advocacy
Men Are not the problem
And Men are responsible for
Sexism and Violence
© 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
“the important fact of men’s lives is not that
they are biological males, but that they
become men. Our sex may be male, but our
identity as men is developed through a
complex process of interaction with the
culture in which we learn the gender scripts,
and modify those scripts to make them more
palatable.”
Michael Kimmel and Michael Messner, 1989
1.
How men handle life (Active and
Achievement)
independent, competitive
2.
How men handle others (dominant)
aggressive, powerful, boastful
I would add competitive
3.
How men handle emotions (“level-headed”)
unemotional, self-control
anger as men’s only allowed/supported emotion
(Michael Cicone & Diane Ruble, 1976)
Being a “Man”
What Men
are Called
What’s Done
to Men
“Man Up”
 What
do men think about domestic violence?
 What
do men think about women advocates?
 What
do men think about men who work on
these issues?
 What
do men think about feminists and
feminism?
 How
do you expect men to respond to you?
© 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Men
have experienced multiple forms of
violence and abuse.
 Men
Care!
 Men
are opposed to domestic violence and rape.
 Men
are NOT the problem.
 Men
have an unlimited ability to feel
compassion and empathy.
 Men
Want to be a part of the solution.
 Some
men act in abusive and sexist ways.
© 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Gender
and Context Matter!
 Utilize
the Prevention Framework
 Define
specific groups of men to engage
 Clarify
your reason for asking this man(or
group of men) to be engaged
 Identify
what “engagement” means (i.e.
what we want them to do)
 Clarify
roles for men in your
agency/community?
 Men
are different than women
 Men
do not experience domestic and sexual
violence like women do
 Men’s
recognize that domestic and sexual violence
have a different impact on women
 Domestic
and sexual violence are gendered
 Not
all men are similarly situated in relation to
sexual and domestic violence
© 2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
Little
Learning
Zone
Optimal Learning Zone
Little Learning /
Damage Zone
 Meet
men where they are
Engaging hostile men is different than engaging
overcommitted men
 Don’t
engage men to change men
 Know
why you’re engaging men (why should this
man/group be engaged)
 Engage
 Next
men…to do what?
Steps…
© 2009, 2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
Organizational (Practices)
Intrapersonal
(Attitudes)
X Relational
(Behaviors)
X
Community
(Norms)
Socio-Cultural
(Customs, laws, beliefs)
Engaged
but
hesitant
Opposed
Overtly
hostile
Actively Leading
© 2007 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Identify
which men you want to engage
 Focus on “engage-able men”
 Identify why they want to be engage
 Identify their point of entrée
 Identify what they need in order to stay
engaged/increase their engagement
 Identify who else they can engage
© 2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Male
Significant others
 Bystanders
 Male as volunteers
 Men who have perpetrated violence
 Men in groups
© 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights
reserved
 Combating
 What
male defensiveness
is his point of entrée?
 What
are the next steps beyond this point of
entrée that are accessible to him?
 What
supports does he need to take those
next steps?
 Is
if okay if he doesn’t?
If you had a group of men who were engaged
and ready to work…
What would you have them do???
 Behave
 Taking
 Join
Nonviolently
individual action
Collective Efforts
 Treat
the women in our lives with respect
 Equalize
 Resist
sexism and violence
 Inform
 Resist
 Take
relationships
yourself
“settling”
action
© 2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Overview
of bystander theory
 Why
men “stand by”
 Who
men “stand by” given the chance
 Becoming
an ally…
© 2009 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
• Defining the behavior
• Defining the relationship
■ Men less likely to define the behavior
as problematic than women
■ Especially if they perceive it to be a
relationship
• No “cock-blocking”
© 2009, 2011 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Men
side with men
As default
■ Will side with women if
■
Know woman better than man
 If have positive regard for woman

 Diffusion
of Responsibility – S&DV are “women’s
issues”
 Don’t know how
© 2009 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 The



kinds of situations that men see:
“relationship blues”
Flirting with the waitress
Locker-room talk
 Speaking
up = placing oneself as not “one of the
guys.” (cost of intervening)
© 2009 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Support
women or men who have been
victimized



Listen
Believe
Respect
 Challenge/Care-front



abusive men
Set a standard
Talk to your friends
Hold Accountable
© 2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved

Become an ally

Challenge Social Norms

Provide Information

Challenge assumptions

Use humor

Talk to other men

Join a Men’s Group

Don’t use pornography
© 2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Fathers
(esp. dads of teenagers)
 Coaches
 Men of faith
 Teens
 Victims
 Loved ones
 Former perpetrators
 Male leaders in the community
 Why
should they be engaged?
 Listen
 Accept
 Seek
Responsibility
 Accept Personal
Ownership of the
Issue
 Open Doors
 Take Chances
Support
 Earn Trust
 Act Reliably
 Take the lead (at
times)
 “Check in”
 Are Accountable
© 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights
reserved
 Boys
as allies for girls
 Boys
as allies for each other
 Adult
males as allies for boys

To support leadership development

To foster gender respect
 Adult
males as allies for women and girls
© 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 White
Ribbon Campaign
 Walk a Mile in her Shoes
 Mentor younger men
 Offer presentations
 Boycott sexist media
 Challenge pro-violent media
 Don’t use
 Don’t
engage men to change men
 Start with men you know
 Start with these men with where they are
(not where you wish they were or think they
should be)
 Create
points of entrée
 Thing strategizing more then event planning
 Support their development
 Invite them to do the work, not listen to a
conversation
© 2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Invite
to be further involved
 Provide resources
 Connect him/them with others
 Support through their learning
 Provide additional support
 Accountability
is…
•Transparent
•Process not end-point
•Relational
•Following through
•Listening to feminists first
•Accepting Consequences
•Making Amends
© 2009 Rus Ervin Funk, all rights
reserved
Why do you want to engage
men?
© 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Because
they “need to get it”
 Because they can be ambassadors for your
organization/mission
 Because they are core partners in prevention
 Because they have been victimized
 Because they love women or men who have
been victimized
 Others…
© 2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
How do you focus on the support for and
empowerment of women…
and engage and support men?
© 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
Ambivalent
Interested
but
unprepared
Resistant
Over-taxed
Opposed
Ready, prepared
and engaging
© 2009/2010 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
What Concerns or Fear do
you have about Engaging
Men?
© 2010/2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Which
men do you want to engage?
Why these men?
 What
access do you have to these men?
 What
methods do you have to engage these
men?
 How
do you make these men feel welcome
and comfortable within your organization?
© 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Why
(according to your community) do men
come to your door?
 What
is men’s experience of coming in your
 What
is men’s perceptions of you?
door?



As an organization
The staff within the organization
What is men’s perceptions of men who are
connected to your organization?
© 2009/2011 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Are



men
Potential perpetrators
Potential victims
Potential allies
 Men
have a different understanding of/relationship
to violence than do women.
 Men’s understanding of/relationship to is at the
intersection of their identities.
 Accepting men from where they are, not where
you want them to be.
 Make room for men to grow in their understanding
© 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Many
men perpetrate “low level” forms of
violence and abuse/Most men perpetrate
sexism.
 How
you respond to different levels of
sexism/abuse
 Defining
different roles for men than for
women within the agency/movement.
 It’s
not a matter of if, but when…
© 2009/2011 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
What
experience do men have in
following women’ s leadership?
What
experience do women
have in providing leadership to
men?
www.menengage.org
A
Call to Men (www.acalltomen.com)
 Men Against Domestic Violence
(www.womenaresafe.org/madv)
 Men Against Rape (www.menagainstrape.org)
 Men
Against Sexual Violence
(www.menagainstsexualviolence.org)
 Men
Against Violence Against Women (www.mavaw.org)
 Men Against Violence (www.menagainstviolence.net)
 Men Can Stop Rape (www.mencanstoprape.org)
 Men’s Initiative of Jane Doe Inc. (www.mijd.org)
© 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
 Men’s
Nonviolence Project
(www.tcfv.org/nulceus/mnp.php)
 Men Stopping Rape (www.men-stopping-rape.org)
 Men
Stopping Violence (www.menstoppingviolence.org)
 Men’s Resource Center for Change
(www.mrcforchange.org)
 Men’s Resources International
(www.mensresourcesinternational.org)
 Men
Today Men Tomorrow
(www.mentodayidaho.org)
 MensWork: eliminating
(www.mensworkinc.com)
 White
violence against women
Ribbon Campaign (www.whiteribbon.ca)
© 2009/2012 Rus Ervin Funk,
all rights reserved
Rus Ervin Funk
PO box 4878
Louisville, KY 40204
www.rusfunk.com
www.mensworkinc.com
(502)494-9044