GROUP 4
REDUNDANCIES AND POSITIVE
LANGUAGE
USING ACTORS AND ACTION VERBS
Reader Focused Sentence:
Subject=Actor Verb=Action
Actor: a noun-a person, place, or a thing.
EXAMPLES OF ACTOR-ACTION
SENTENCES
• Attempts were made by the engineering staff to
complete the project.
The engineering staff attempted to complete the
project.
• There is no alternative for us except to recall the
faulty software.
We must recall the faulty software.
ELIMINATING REDUNDANCIES
Redundancy occurs when you use:
• doubled words
• redundant modifiers
Doubled Words: Two words that have the same meaning
combined by “and”.
Redundant Modifiers: Words that imply other words in
the sentence.
EXAMPLE OF DOUBLE WORDS
• This important and significant network
upgrade should help each and every employee
to work more efficiently and effectively.
After the network upgrade all employees will
improve their productivity.
COMMON DOUBLE WORDS
• Fair and Equitable
• Assist and Help
•
Hope and Trust
• End and Result
• Thought and Consideration
EXAMPLES OF REDUNDANT
MODIFIERS
•
There are several scientists who are uneasy about the end
results of the water quality tests.
Several scientists question the results of the water quality tests.
•
The proposed budget cuts will not affect the final outcome of
our current projects or our future plans for improving the
street drainage.
The proposed budget cuts will not effect the outcome of our
current projects
COMMON REDUNDANT
MODIFIERS
•
•
•
•
•
•
Absolutely free
Continue on
Final outcome
True facts
Reduced down
Very unique
POSITIVE LANGUAGE
Readers would rather be told what to do rather
than what not to do.
The presence of several negative constructions in
a sentence or paragraph slows the readers pace.
EXAMPLE OF POSITIVE LANGUAGE
• Only ten percent of the students were not absent.
Ten percent of the students were present.
• Even though the plane was delayed because of
thunderstorms, we were not late to the meeting.
We were on time to the meeting even though
thunderstorms delayed the plane.
Lead is a highly toxic metal that was used for many years in products
found in and around our homes. Lead may cause a range of health
effects, from behavioral problems and learning disabilities, to seizures
and death. Children 6 years old and under are most at risk, because
their bodies are growing quickly. Research suggests that the primary
sources of lead exposure for most children are deteriorating lead-based
paint, lead contaminated dust, and lead contaminated residential soil.
EPA is playing a major role in addressing these residential lead hazards.
In 1978, there were nearly three to four million children with elevated
blood lead levels in the United States. In the 1990s, that number had
dropped to 434,000 kids, and it continues to decline. While we still
have a significant challenge, EPA is very proud of how federal, state,
and private sector partners have coordinated efforts with the public to
better protect our children. Since the 1980s, EPA and its federal
partners have phased out lead in gasoline, reduced lead in drinking
water, reduced lead in industrial air pollution, and banned or limited
lead used in consumer products, including residential paint.
The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has reduced human interaction with lead.
Lead is a toxic metal commonly used around households. Lead causes health defects such
as; behavioral problems, learning disabilities, and sometimes seizures and death. Children 6
and younger are more likely to experience these health defects. Children are exposed to
lead primarily from deteriorating lead-based paint, lead contaminated dust, and lead
contaminated residential soil. Three to four million children had elevated lead blood levels
in the U.S. in 1978, and in the 90’s the number dropped to 434,000 children. The EPA and
its’ federal partners accomplished the following actions to reduce lead in America since the
1980’s:
•
•
•
•
Phased out lead in gasoline
Reduced lead in drinking water
Reduced lead in industrial air pollution
Banned/limited lead use in consumer products, including residential paint
The EPA is proud of how federal, state, and private sector partners have coordinated
efforts with the public to reduce the use of lead.