Developing Resilience
Hugh Russell
Email: hugh@thinking.ie
www.thinking.ie
Objectives
By the end of the workshop you will be able to
-
define resilience and explain it's link with emotional intelligence
identify and explain the 7 factors of resilience
explain the relationship between cognition and emotions
define and apply several NLP techniques/strategies to build resilience
Apply techniques to
- change negative thinking
- create a mentally tough mindset
- be outcome oriented
- demonstrate resilience to others
- help others through challenging times
What is RESILIENCE?

What is resilience?

What does it mean in your workplace?

What does it mean in your life?

If you were to develop strong and effective
resilience strategies what outcome(s) would that
get for you?
Resilience
Our ability to remain
healthy, energetic, at full
capacity & in problem
solving mode for as long
as possible, and as long as
necessary.
What is Resilience?
Keys to staying Resilient
Our ability to remain healthy,
energetic, at full capacity & in
problem solving mode
for as long as possible
and as long as necessary.
Managing you thinking,
your emotions and
taking action
are the keys.
The Key to Resilience
The empirical research also demonstrates that
More than genetics…………..
More than intelligence……….
More than any other factor…..
It is our THINKING
That determines who is resilient and who is not
How does your
mind work?
Thinking and Resilience


Our thinking creates reflexive beliefs about
ourselves, our worlds, and our future.
Our thinking provide us with ready-made and
often inaccurate beliefs about the causes and
implications of our problems.

Thinking Styles interfere with accurate
problem solving and therefore, resilience.

Thinking Style becomes fixed around age 10,
learned from primary carer.
You
experience
pictures
sounds
feelings
You talk to
yourself
Emotional
State
PHYSIOLOGY
You filter out
lots of
information
PERFORMANCE
I
N
F
O
R
M
A
T
I
O
N
Deletion, Distortion &
Generalisation
 Deletions:
Important information is
left out and this limits thought and
action.
 Distortions: Information is twisted
in a way that limits choice and
creates unnecessary problems
 Generalisations: One example is
taken to represent a class in a way
that narrows possibilities
Bias & attitude
A bias is our
internal, subjective
perception of
reality.
 An attitude is the
way we habitually
think under any
given situation.

Conscious Mind
Unconscious Mind
How to talk to the unconscious mind so that it listens
Words for the unconscious mind
 Try
 But
 And
 Don’t
Try
Statement A
“I will try to be less aggressive”
Statement B
“I will listen more and respond rather than
react ”
Banish the word “try” from your
vocabulary unless you actually want
not to succeed
But, and
Statement A
“You focussed well today “but” your
concentration faded a little near the end”
Statement B
“You focussed well today and you need to
maintain your concentration to the end”
Statement C
“ “Yes we did not have a clear focus today,
but given the preparation…”
Use words like “but”, “however” only
when you want to negate or minimise
what has been said. Use “and” when
you want to add to or agree with what
has been said
Don’t
Statement A
“Don’t think negatively. Don’t be thinking
that”
Statement B
“Tell me what you want specifically ”
Statement c
“Don’t listen to what your critics are saying”
Statement D
“Ignore your critics. Remember how you
presented last week”
Misconception that Practice makes Perfect –
Practice makes Permanent.
Only Perfect Practice makes Perfect,
and that can always happen in the
mind & in the way we talk to ourselves.
The 7 Factors of Resilience
Emotional Regulation
 Impulse Control
 Causal Analysis
 Self-Efficacy
 Realistic Optimism
 Empathy
 Reaching Out

7 Factors of Resilience
Factor 1- Emotion Regulation
– Ability to control our emotional
response to external events-to stay
calm under pressure.
 Factor 2- Impulse Control
– Ability to control expression
behaviour to achieve goals (Delay
gratification, Decisions, Dan Goleman
1970 marshmallow study)

How do you set
your Emotional
thermostat?
Understanding your emotional map
Emotions are contagious
 The
brain has an
‘open loop’ system
 We are ‘wired’ to pick
up subtle clues from
one another
The Heart



The source of the
heartbeat is within the
heart.
It generates 40 to 60
times more electrical
amplitude than the
brain.
Its electrical signal
can be measured
anywhere on the
body.
Cortical Facilitation/Inhibition
Communication
between heart &
brain takes place
constantly.
 Positive or
negative emotions
felt, impact the
cortical process.

Develop emotional energy
management
Quick coherence technique




Shift attention to your
heart & breathe from
your heart.
Recall a positive
emotional experience.
Associate into it.
Re-experience it for 5
to 10 minutes. See,
hear & feel it.
Achieve coherence
before making
decisions
Factors of Resilience
 Factor
3- Causal Analysis
– Ability to identify the true causes of an
adversity, essential because the cause
we identify determine the solutions we
attempt
– We develop a thinking style around
explanations
ABC Model
Beliefs
Adversity
About what caused it
Any problem situation
(big or small)
About the implications
Consequences
Emotions and behaviour
that result from Beliefs
about adversity
B-C Connections





Real-world loss or loss
of sense of self worth
Future Threat
Violation of Rights
Violation of another's
Rights
Loss of Standing

Sadness
(Depression)
Anxiety
Anger

Guilt

Embarrassment


Resilience Skill: ABC

A-Adversity, B-Beliefs, C-Consequences-(feelings
and behaviours)
– Track the effects of your beliefs on your
emotions
– Understand the B-C connections.
– Become aware of your own!
– Help identify the ABC in other people!
Detecting iceberg beliefs
Four questions
 Ask in any order
 Stop when the
belief explains the
consequence.





What is the most
upsetting part of that
for me?
What does that mean
to me?
What is the worst part
of that for me?
Assuming that it is
true why is that so
upsetting for me?
Disputation
 Evidence: What
evidence do I have for
thinking this?
 Alternatives: What
alternative explanations
could there be for this?
 Implications: What
are the implications for
me of holding onto this
belief?
 Usefulness: How
useful is it for me to
hold onto this belief?
Thinking Biases
Jumping to conclusions
 Tunnel vision
 Mind reading
 Personalising
 Externalising
 Over generalising

Check for thinking biases
Check for thinking biases
Distraction
Disputation
Surface and iceberg beliefs
Belief
Consequence
Adversity
Factors of Resilience
Factor 4- Self-Efficacy
– Our sense that we are effective in the
world- a sense of mastery. An outcome
orientation.
 Factor 5- Realistic Optimism
– Importance of the cognitive triad,
negative view of one’s self, one’s world
and one’s future.

Mindsets
Be clear on
what you want
(outcome
focused) do
not be
problem
focused
Have a
“cause”
mindset.
Blaming
external
influences is
counter
productive
Building Mental pictures of
success
 Dissociated
pictures:
Looking at yourself
as if in a movie
 Associated
pictures:
seeing out your
eyes
Practice Realistic Optimism
 Explanatory
style.
– Is unique to you.
– Habitual &
automatic.
– May not be
accurate.
– There are 3
dimensions to it.
Explanatory style: optimism
 Personal
 Permanent
 Pervasive
Explanatory Thinking Style

ME

NOT ME

ALWAYS

NOT ALWAYS

EVERYTHING

NOT EVERYTHING
Factors of Resilience
Factor 6- Empathy
– Ability to read others psychological and
emotional states, key to developing empathy is
understanding why others respond/react as
they do. (B-C connections)
Factor 7- Reaching Out
Helping, listening and rapport building.
Seeking help from others.
Rapport
 Rapport
is the process of building
and sustaining a relationship of
mutual trust, harmony and
understanding.
 This happens through matching the
accessing cues from words, eye
movements and body language.
Establish Rapport by…
 Matching
person
& mirroring the other
–Physical mirroring/Body posture
–Voice
–Breathing
–Blinking
–Language
5 Key Strategies
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Always think in positive outcomes – see, hear
and feel what you want. Use both associated
and disassociated pictures.
Take positive action and challenge yourself to
stay at the cause side of events.
Check for thinking biases and dispute or
distract yourself. Practice realistic optimism.
Develop heart coherence, practice mindfulness
and “soak” yourself in experiencing positive
emotions.
Nourish others by becoming a nourishing
individual remembering you are “emotionally
contagious.”
Thank you for coming