Emotional Intelligence
Presented by:
Dr. Brenda Joy Atchison
Knowledge is knowing
the world, wisdom is
knowing yourself
(unknown)
Icebreaker
 My
name is ____________________
 My most impactful learning experience
was when________________________
Forerunners of EQ
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1870 Charles Darwin first modern book on the
role of EQ
Edward Thorndike 1920’s “social intelligence”
David Wechsler 1940 sought to include social
and affective abilities in general intelligence
Albert Ellis 1955 Rational Emotive Behavior
Therapy
1983 Howard Gardner “ multiple intelligences”
Reuven Bar-On coined EQ
Background (cont.)
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Mayer, Salovy, Caruso developed MSCEIT
The EQi was formally published in 1997
The Multi Health System in cooperation with
Bar-On tested 42,000 people in 36 countries
for the research validity and reliability
Among the top three ethnic groups, average
overall scores varied by less than 5%
EQ is not the same as personality
Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence is mastering the
combination of personal (managing
yourself) and social competencies
(managing your relationships) and
exhibiting them with venue specific
appropriateness .
(Atchison, 2007)
EQ vs. IQ
 IQ
measures cogitative intelligence
 EQ measures affective intelligence
 IQ is pretty much set. It peaks around 17
and remains constant throughout
adulthood.
 EQ is not fixed, it rises after the teen years
and only tapers slightly after 50
EQ vs IQ
 How
much of success in life can be
attributed to IQ vs EQ?
 Discuss
Moral Reasoning
Kohlberg
Raising your EQ
 Be
aware of your emotions
 Regulate your emotions
 Motivate yourself
 Cultivate and practice empathy
 Manage relationships
Seven Habits
Deadly
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Criticizing
Blaming
Complaining
Nagging
Threatening
Punishing
Rewarding
Control
vs
Connecting
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Listening
Respecting
Trusting
Encouraging
Accepting
Supporting
Always negotiating
disagreements
Emotional Learning System
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Self Assessment: Explore (intentional assessment habit (
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Self Awareness: Identify
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Self Knowledge: Understand ( gain insight into behaviors and
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Self Development: Learn (learn ways to improve behavior)
Self Improvement: Apply/Model (practice EI desired
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inquiring, discovering, questioning)
feeling)
(distinguishing between thought and
make choices)
behavior)
(Nelson & Low,2003)
Low,2003)
(Nelson &
Decision Making using
Choice Theory (Glasser)
 Basic
needs: survival, belonging, power,
freedom, fun Maslow)
 All people can do is behave
 All behavior is purposeful
 All behaviors are chosen to achieve
wants
 The chosen behavior is one’s best
attempt to meet the need
Practicing EQ
 Complaints
to request
 Stop perpetrations
 Managing anger
 Practicing empathy
 Raising EQ
ESAP 4 Dimensions
 Interpersonal (assertive communication, anxiety
management and control)
 Self
Management ( Time management, drive
strength, commitment ethic, positive change
orientation)
 Leadership (Comfort, empathy, decision
making, positive influence)
 Intrapersonal ( Stress management, self-esteem)
Complaints to Request
 Write
down a complaint that you have
about someone
 Turn that complaint into a request
 Choose a partner Explain the situation
and present your request
 Ask for Get feedback on your request
 Revise if necessary and present it to one
other person
Anger Management
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Step 1. When you experience frustration, annoyance,
jealousy, say to yourself “I am angry”
Step 2. Once you have accurately identified the
emotion, say to yourself “I create my own anger”
..angry thinking
Step 3. After you realize that you are making yourself
angry, say “I accept responsibility for my anger”
Step 4. Ask yourself” How do I want to express this
anger in a way that I can feel good about?
Step 5. Ask yourself if you need outside help.
(Nelson & Low, 2011)
Stop perpetrations
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The Goal: to abstain from hypocritical
communication designed to damage the
spirit of others
Example Information you would not want a
person to know you said
You would not want it on the front page of
the paper attributed to you.
You would not say it to the persons face
You are embarrassed or uneasy around the
person knowing what you said.
The thoughts or actions serve no constructive
purpose.
Perpetrations (cont.)
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Practice: Think about at least one person
against whom you have perpetrated?
Reflect on what you felt (circle it on your
feeling chart.
 Commit
to stop and refuse to pass on
negative information/office gossip.
Forms of Empathy
 cognitive
empathy—we recognize what
another person is feeling
 emotional
empathy—we actually feel
what the person is feeling,
 compassionate
empathy—we want to
help the person deal with their situation
and emotions.
Acting with Empathy
 Preserve
dignity and avoid dishonor.
 Engage
in a discourse to understand his
point of view and to determine his
specific needs. Throughout the dialogue
keep in mind
Remember: You are responsible for your choices
and actions.
Practicing Empathy
If I took responsibility for every feeling I
experience and for every word I
utter___________________
(HBR,2003)
Anyone can become angry-that is easy. But
to be angry with the right person, to the
right degree, at the right time, for the right
purpose and the right way-this is not easy
Aristotle
Q&A