Communication Styles
“Conversation is the art of telling
people a little less than they want to
know.”
Motivator
“GREAT JOB”
Personal Assessment
Communication
• Complete the assessment handout.
• Determine which style of
communication you prefer.
Communication Styles
A. --Touch
Hugging, holding hands, physically close
B. --Verbal
Sharing one’s feelings, listening, heartto-heart talks, caring words
C. --Task
Achievement, accomplishments, hard
work, status, things
Term Symbol
Touch Hand
“A”
Description Words
Hugging
Holding Hands
Physically close
Verbal Ear and Mouth Sharing one’s feelings
“B”
Listening
Heart-to-heart talks
Caring Words
Task
Eye
Achievement
“C”
Accomplishments
Hard Work
Status/Things
Case Study #1
DISCUSSION:
1. Do you think Andy's love for Susan has really
worn off?
2. What orientation is Susan?
3. Do you think Susan wants constant public
displays of affection?
4. What other things might Andy do to keep the
communication in their marriage functioning
well?
Case Study #2
DISCUSSION:
1. What orientation is the son?
2. What orientation is the
mom?
3. What might improve the
relationship between the
son and his mother?
Case Study #3
1.
2.
3.
4.
What orientation is Jackie?
What orientation s Steve?
Is Steve really immature and insecure?
Is it realistic or even fair for Jackie to
expect him to change his love language?
5. How might this couple compromise and
resolve the problem?
Case Study #4
1. Why did Sandy want John to do the jobs
himself?
2. Do you think John is a task-oriented person?
3. What might the couple do to solve their
problem?
You should remember:
1. A person’s primary orientation is determined
by the highest score on the quiz.
2. The secondary orientation is determined by the
second highest score on the quiz.
3. Some people will have scores that are very
close or may use a different communication
under different circumstances.
It is important that you understand the following
terms:
Communication --- the way one sends and
receives messages of acceptance, affection,
and appreciation.
Where do our communication styles
come from?
It comes from a reflection of or
reaction to your home life.
If your mother is task-oriented person and
you are also a task-oriented person you
reflect your home love language. If, on
the other hand, your mother is taskoriented and you are touch-oriented, you
reacting to your home love language.
• One is not better or worse, but it is important to
recognize that you do or do not speak the same
love language as those around you.
• Most people have learned their love language –
so it can be changed.
• However, change is not what is needed,
understanding is.
How does a Touch-Oriented, VerbalOriented, & a Task-Oriented Person
respond to the following situations?
1. A child comes home with good grades
2. A co-worker gets a promotion or a raise.
3. A close friend slipped on the ice and broke
their leg.
4. A sibling just broke up with their boy/girl
friend.
5. Their grandparents 50th anniversary is
coming up.
Show “He Says, She Says!” Video
Golden Rule with a Twist
Do unto others as they would have you do to
them, not as you would have them do to you.
Speak to your partner, friend, family member
in whatever communication style he/she
speaks.
METHODS OF DECODING
OTHER’S COMMUICATION
STYLES:
1. Ask him/her to take the quiz
2. Recognize how he/she reacts and shows
love to others.
3. Observe his/her reactions when a
compliment, hug, or gift is given. Which
do you think means the most?
It is important to
know that in a crisis,
many people move to
a different
communication style,
just to combat the
crisis, and then move
back to their original
style when the crisis
has passed.
Watch for signs of a
different
communication style
when stressed or
crisis occurs.
Summary
• The greatest human emotional need is
ACCEPTANCE. This is especially true
in a marriage. The question “Do you love
me?” translates to “Do you accept me?
In spite of all my fears and faults will you
stay with me? If I am totally revealed to
you, all my good and bad, can I trust you
to love me and care for me? By using the
love language you can learn to
communicate this complete kind of
acceptance to your loved ones.