Marriage Seminar – Session 2
“How to promote unity in a
marriage?" - Understanding the wife's
Review from Last Seminar
From Genesis 2:24-25
24 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be
united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
25 The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.
We are called by God in marriage:
be United
become one flesh
be transparent, intimate
Group discussion
 Women – What are your expectations of
being a wife?
 Men – What are your expectations from
a wife?
 Most couples have high expectations for
their marriage?
Group discussion – Why & What Happened
WHY? Don’t understand Marriage clearly
Focus is on ourselves, know many may not succeed.
Feel their marriage will different, because they really love each
Begin with marriage w/ great expectation, but often replaced with
WHAT? Both Man & Woman didn’t live their lives
personally or their marriage according to God’s Word.
God gave specific info & direction about marriage’s purpose &
roles & responsibilities for both wife & husband.
“When 2 people know ,accept, and fulfill their different but
complimentary responsibilities, oneness or unity in marriage
is promoted.”
If Not accepted or fulfilled – Frustration looms & problems.
What does God’s Word say about Wife’s
Primary Responsibilities in marriage
 New Testament, wife is frequently
commanded to submit, obey their
Ephesians 5:22-24
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For the
husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the
church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the
church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their
husbands in everything.
What does God’s Word say about Wife’s
Primary Responsibilities in marriage
 I Peter 3:1-6
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that,
if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over
without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see
the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should
not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and
the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it
should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a
gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5
For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their
hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were
submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed
Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if
you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
Group Discussion
 Wife’s Submission – not a popular idea today?
Why Not?
 What is Submission Not?
 What is Submission to be?
Wife’s Submission - NOT
 Not a concept ONLY for Women, but ALL
 Not called to be a slave, free to become
all God intended her to become –
Proverbs 31:10-31
 Not to never have an opinion, give
advice, or open her mouth.
 Not inferior to Husband.
Submission from a Positive View
Scripture indicates Wife’s responsibility to make herself
submissive – Not forced by husband – Commanded by God.
To be continuous lifestyle & mandatory for wife. – Not Optional
A Spiritual matter, Done “as to the Lord”
Positive, NOT Negative –
Ephesians 5:22 & I Peter 3:1
Bill Gothard’s definition of submission – “freedom to be creative under divine
appointed authority.
Use God given abilities of wife, under husband’s management & for benefit
of husband & family.
Involves Wife’s attitudes as well as her actions – Serve
cheerfully, not grudgingly.
Extensive, just like Church is to Christ – who is head over all
things. – Not selective, but all time, all places, in everything
Wife’s primary ministry
 In Life is to her husband – How does
this apply to you?
 God made woman to be man’s
helper, a suitable one
 Correspond to man. – How do you
complement him?
 Wife made to fulfill needs, lacks,
inadequacies of her husband – do
good not evil to him.
Wife’s primary ministry Specifics
Make home a safe place.
Being Trustworthy & dependable.
Maintaining Good attitude.
Discuss things lovingly, openly, & honestly –
intimate & transparent.
Being satisfied with her position, possessions
& tasks.
Being longsuffering, forgiving, & forbearing.
Showing interest in husband’s problems &
Wife’s primary ministry Specifics
Being diligent, creative, & ambitious member
of husband’s team.
Offering suggestions, advice, & corrections
when needed in loving manner.
Maintain a good spiritual life.
Cooperate with him in raising children.
Building loyalty to him in children.
Being grateful to him.
Showing confidence in his decisions.
Conclusion - Homework
Are you practicing submission to your husband?
Are you really his helper?
Look at Proverbs 31:10-31
Husbands help your wives.
If you find yourself failing?
Confess your sin to God & husband – PRAY together
Realize that if Christ died for such a disobedient person as
myself & has forgiven me, then through God’s grace, he can
help us through the Holy Spirit change our disobedient heart.
Topics to cover
 3/13 "Knowing You and You" - Christian and nonChristian Marriage
 3/27 "What Happens When the Wife Is Smarter Than
the Husband?" - understanding wife's responsibilities
 4/10 "I Am the Head, But She Is the Neck" understanding husband's responsibilities
 5/8 "My Husband Loves Facebook and Text Messages
Than Talking to Me" - communication 1
 5/22 "My Wife Can't Stop Talking" - communication 2
 6/12 "Money Talk" - unity through financial
agreement or In-law relationship