Communication
(Customize for your parish here)
Question for Reflection
• Discuss with one another: What was
communication like in your family of origin?
How similar (or different) is your own style
of communication now?
Communication and the Holy Trinity
• The three persons of the Trinity are distinct,
have different roles, yet share a common
purpose and intimate union
• Jesus showed a variety of emotions, but always
showed them with love
• Our communication with one another should
be honest and straightforward, but always
spoken in love.
Communication and the Holy Trinity
• Jesus’ style of speaking
• Holy Spirit at Pentecost
• We need to remember that the point is
not just to “get our say,” but also to be
understood by our spouses.
Communication and the Holy Trinity
• Jesus prioritizes his relationship with the
Father
• Jesus takes time out to be alone in prayer
• Communication must be a priority, even if
it means interrupting important things like
work projects or spending time with the
children.
Communication and the Holy Trinity
• One God reveals himself as three persons, who
act in concert:
– In Old Testament, we see promises of the Messiah
– In the gospels, Jesus promises to send the Holy Spirit
– The Holy Spirit makes the message of Christ
understood on the day of Pentecost
• Where good communication exists, there is trust
and collaboration.
Communication and the Image of
Jesus and the Church
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Total gift of oneself to the other
Two-way gift: two people become one
Example of Christ and the Church
Healthy communication in a married
relationship is about self-giving love. There
is trust that what is “good for us” is also
“best for me.”
Self-centered Expression vs. Selfgiving Expression (see p. 23)
• Self-centered expression is about “what you need to
do to please me”
• Self-giving expression: “I am trusting you enough to
show how I feel and looking for ways to work things
out;” “I trust you to care for me.”
• Remember, in marriage, you’re on the same team!
• “Styles of Expression,” p. 24
Communication is also Listening
• Self-centered listening: putting up walls and
defending ourselves with excuses,
rationalizations, or insults against the other
• See p. 25 and “Styles of Listening” box
Trust, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation
• Self-giving love must be mutual
• Steps toward reconciliation
– Think through situation, and consider other’s point of view
– Allow yourself to be vulnerable and admit you were wrong,
even if you feel the other person didn’t handle the
situation well either
– Express understanding; make a commitment to avoid being
hurtful in the future
– Forgiveness is a choice, trust is not
When you are hurt
• Recalling and expressing the hurt is the first
step towards reconciliation
• Make a decision to work towards
reconciliation
• Try to imagine yourself in the other person’s
shoes
• Offering forgiveness means expressing a
willingness to work towards trust again
Discussion Questions
• What makes a good listener?
• How can you tell when someone is listening?
Prayer
• See prayer, p. 32