Interpersonal Communication
Strengthening Your People Skills
in the Workplace
I told the doctor I
broke my leg in
two places. He
told me to quit
going to those
places.
-Henny Youngman
Introductions
• Name
• Job
• Agency
• Interests/needs/wants
“It’s a Puzzlement”
Observations
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•
•
•
Effective Communication
You say it.
I get it.
You get that I got it.
Can you see it?
ASAP
How Meaning—Trust and
Believability—is Communicated
7%
by
words
38%
by
vocal expression
55%
by
facial expression
and posture
Elevator
Fun
Vocalism Example
I trust you.
I trust you.
I trust you.
I trust you?
Constructive Feedback
Model
“I” Statement
I feel…
when…
because…
+
Request
Example
I get frustrated
when you interrupt me
because I lose my train
of thought.
It would help me if I could
finish my thought before
you respond.
Practice Scenarios
1. A coworker is dropping by to visit more often or
longer than you’re comfortable with.
2. A coworker is using the water cooler but not
paying the monthly membership fee.
3. A coworker is talking very loudly at his or her
desk.
4. A coworker keeps bailing out of your
scheduled project meetings.
5. A coworker is talking negatively about another
coworker.
Neutral Language: Example #1
Statement A: Your ideas are always out
there.
Statement B: I disagree with you.
Statement C: I have a different
perspective on it.
Neutral Language: Example #2
Statement A: You never include me in
important decisions.
Statement B: Why didn’t you send the
e-mail to me?
Statement C: I didn’t get the e-mail.
Am I on your list?
Withholding
constructive
feedback is like
sending people
out on a long
and complicated
hike without a
compass.
Listening Quiz
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
“Thought Speed Gap”
The average speaking rate is
125 – 150 words per minute
The average thinking rate is
400 words per minute
Defensive vs. Supportive
“Tootsie”
“Big”
• Michael (Dustin
Hoffman) and George
• Josh (Tom Hanks)
and Mac
• Place a “T” on the
appropriate place on
the scale
• Place a “B” on the
appropriate place on
the scale
Gossip
• Who gossips to you will gossip of you.
-Turkish proverb
• A question to ask a gossip:
“What is it about my behavior that makes it
easier for you to talk about me, rather than
to me?”
Relationship Maintenance
Like everything
else, relationships
need maintenance.
They don’t keep
running smoothly
on their own.
They require an
investment of time.
“STPS” Recognition Model
S pecific
T imely
P ersonal
S incere