What is a …
A thesis statement:
1.
An argumentative statement that
the essay / paper will PROVE
2. One sentence
3. Contains three CONCRETE
arguments /subtopics
4. Parallel Structure
5. Academic and concise language
CONCRETE: something that you
can drop on your foot (not
abstract)
FOR EXAMPLE: Why was
Vimy Ridge Successful?
ABSTRACT
CONCRETE
-planning by Arthur Currie
-heavy artillery and large quantities
of ammunition
-brought a sense of nationhood to
Canada
-4 Canadian Divisions
-Canada did what Britain and France -system of tunnels
could not- they took the Ridge from
the Germans
- 3-D Model
-training time
- heavy bombardment (3 weeks)
-sense of unity between Canadians
-strategy of ‘creeping barrage’
- aerial maps / photographs
Let’s Practice… what is
wrong with this ‘thesis’?
 Example 1:
BATMAN IS
A HERO LIKE
SPIDERMAN.
What is wrong with this
‘thesis’?
 Example 2:
BATMAN IS
A BETTER HERO THAN
SPIDERMAN BECAUSE HE
IS AWESOME AND
POWERFUL.
Parallel Structure
 Parallel structure involves putting together elements of
similar structure to achieve balanced writing
Example
Not Parallel:
The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until
the last minute to study for the exam, completed his lab problems in a
careless manner, and his motivation was low.
Parallel:
The teacher said that he was a poor student because he waited until
the last minute to study for the exam, completed his lab problems in a
careless manner, and lacked motivation in daily work.
Examples of
Parallel Structure
Not Parallel: There was not a winner in WWI because of
there were many deaths on both sides, land was destroyed
because of the trenches and the war costs lots of money.
Improved: There was not a winner in WWI because of heavy
losses in lives, land and money.
Parallel: There was not a winner in WWI because of the
high number of casualties, high devastation to land and
high costs to the economy.
What is wrong with this
‘thesis’?
 Example 3:
BATMAN IS
A BETTER HERO THAN
SPIDERMAN BECAUSE HE IS
FAST AND UNDERSTANDS THE
VALUE OF HUMAN LIFE AND
STRIVES TO PROTECT IT.
TASK
In small groups, compile a
list of CONCRETE
OBJECTS (arguments) to
prove why Batman is
better
What about this thesis?
 Batman is a better Superhero than
Spiderman because he has billions of
dollars, a bat cave and an amazing car .
* Notice the CONCRETE arguments allow for abstract ideas:
a) Billions of dollars = access
b) Bat Cave = anonymity
c) Amazing car = power
* Parallel structure???
SMALL GROUP
CHALLENGE #1
 Pick one of the following popular culture topics and create a
thesis statement with “concrete” arguments.
 Share as a class (gallery walk)
- Facebook vs Twitter
- iPhone vs Samsung
- Texting vs Voice Calling
- One Direction vs. Justin Bieber
- Family Guy vs Simpsons
- Gale vs Peeta (Hunger Games)
SMALL GROUP
CHALLENGE #2
 Read the following passage and create a thesis statement with “concrete” example for
arguments.
Trench warfare gave troops protection from enemy fire and artillery with the
development of large trenches along fighting lines. Poison gas was first used
at the Battle of Ypres to defend soldiers making an attack on the enemy. The
gas acted as a smoke screen, hiding soldiers while attacking the enemy. The
gas also had devastating effects on the enemy, often burning their skin,
damaging their eyes or killing them all together. Gas masks, once developed,
proved to be an effective solution to gas attacks. Tanks also made their first
appearance in World War I. Tanks were fitted with guns, armour plating and
caterpillar tracks that would enable the tank to cross an eight-foot trench.
Other technological developments during World War I included, the practical
submarine, machineguns, mass quantities of long-range artillery, effective
hand grenades and mortars, and barbed wire.
SMALL GROUP
CHALLENGE #3
 Gallery Walk (move three computers to the
right)
 Examine and rewrite the thesis in a different
way (no change can be made to the intent
of thesis or the three arguments)