DIALOGUE
DIALOGUE
What does ‘Dialogue’ mean to you?
WHAT DOES DIALOGUE
MEAN TO YOU?
A – General Discussion
B – Random thoughts
C – Focused problem solving
D – Diverse team discussion
E – Open communication on specific topic
PROPOSED
DEFINITION
Dialogue – People engaging in participatory thought
SOME DESCRIPTORS
Non-judgmental
Non-defensive
Listening
Understanding
No agendas
Intent of best answer
Ideas without connection to those ideas
Flow
EMOTIONAL
INTELLIGENCE
Growing You
Self-Awareness
Self-Management
Serving Others
Relationship Awareness
Relationship Management
THE GOAL IS TO BE
PRESENT
For all members to be openly participate we need to be:
• Self-aware
• Relationship-aware
We must be Present
• Non-Judgmental
• Only one conversation
• Understand
OPEN
HEAR
CONNECT
BE OPEN
Two Potential Issues
• The past shades the present (judging current statements
based on history)
• Personal connection to ‘my’ idea
BE OPEN
How can past experiences shade current realities?
•
•
•
•
•
A – Does not allow for people to change
B – Limits our view of what is really happening
C – Reduces our ability to hear what is really being said
D – Discounts things different that our past experiences
E – Reduces trust
Are you always aware of such shading?
LADDER OF INFERENCE
Action
Beliefs
Conclusions
Assumptions
Affix Meaning
Data/Experience
BE OPEN
Action
As we walk up the ladder, where can
we make mistakes?
How can avoid each of these mistakes?
Beliefs
Conclusions
Assumptions
Affix Meaning
Data/Experience
LADDER OF
INFERENCE
We certainly need to add meaning, however we can improve
communications in three ways…
• Awareness of thinking/reasoning (reflection)
• Visibility of thinking/reasoning (advocacy)
• Inquiring into other’s thinking/reasoning (inquiry)
LADDER OF
INFERENCE
Questions that can help…
•
•
•
•
•
What is the observable data?
Does everyone agree on that data?
Can you run me through your reasoning?
How did you get from the data to these assumptions?
When you said “[your inference]”, did you mean “[my
interpretation]”?
LADDER OF
INFERENCE
How we view the world and how we act influence…
• What we select to “see”
• Our interpretations
• Our conclusions
This leads us to act in ways that produce results which
usually reinforce the conclusions we made.
BE OPEN
Two Potential Issues
• The past shades the present
• Personal connection to ‘my’ idea
LET’S START WITH
YOU
The goal is for you to be ‘Present’
Present –
• Non-Judgmental
• Only one conversation
• Understand
OPEN
HEAR
CONNECT
HEAR
When speaking with someone, how many conversations are
going on?
A – one
B – two
C – three
D – More than three
HEAR
Getting it to ONE
• First, stop other subjects
• If you can’t, reschedule the new subject
• Stay focused
• Catch internal diversions
• Bring yourself back
• Relevant thoughts are good
• This is where we will connect next…
LET’S START WITH
YOU
The goal is for you to be ‘Present’
Present –
• Non-Judgmental
• Only one conversation
• Understand
OPEN
HEAR
CONNECT
CONNECT
We must always search for understanding.
Thoughts are connected when we understand.
Lessons only exist in difference.
Curiosity rather than Certainty
CONNECT
Tactics:
• Repeat their thought to confirm listening and understanding –
“If I understand you correctly…”
• Write down relevant thoughts and questions about their
thoughts
• Pause the discussion for clarity or to add a thought
LET’S START WITH
YOU
The goal is for you to be ‘Present’
Present –
• Non-Judgmental
• Only one conversation
• Understand
OPEN
HEAR
CONNECT
SUMMARY - BEING PRESENT TO
ACHIEVE DIALOGUE
We have covered a lot of ground …
• Be Open
• Don’t carry history to the present
• Hear
• Only one conversation
• Connect
• Combine thoughts
THANK YOU
Your leadership and teamwork can achieve superhuman
results.