Sentence Patterns 9-10
with variations
Pattern 9 Formula
Repetition of a Key Term
S
V
__
key term or
,
repeated key term.
(use dash or comma before repetition)
Explanation
• Repeat a key word in a modifying phrase
attached to the main clause.
• Repeat the word exactly as it is, or you may use
another form.
– brute  brutal; breath  breathtaking; battle 
battling
• Key term
– Important
– Anywhere in the sentence, but usually at the end
• Dash or comma
– dash = longer pause, a greater break in thought
• Note 1: Key word must be worth repeating
– Ineffective, uninteresting repetition:
• He was a good father, providing a good home for
his good children.
• Note 2: Be sure attached phrase with the
repeated key tern is NOT a complete
sentence (or else you will create a comma
splice)
– Wrong: He was a cruel brute of a man, he
was brutal to his family and even more brutal
to his friends.
– Correction: He was a cruel brute of a man,
brutal to his family and even more brutal to his
friends.
Examples
• We live in an uncertain world—the inner
world, the world of the mind.
• We all have problems but we can find a
solution, a solution that works, a solution
that is equitable.
• She suddenly felt filled with joy—a joy she
could not explain but that she gladly
embraced.
Checkpoints
Double check that the repetition is a
phrase, not a clause.
– Wrong: He was part of the older generation,
his generation was born before the
Depression.
– Correct: He was part of the older generation,
a generation born before the Depression.
Don’t use a period or semicolon where the
comma should be.
• Wrong: He praises the beauty of his love. A
love that is unfortunately hopeless because it
is not mutual.
• Correct: He praises the beauty of his love, a
love unfortunately hopeless because it is not
mutual.
Variation 9a Formula
Same word repeated in parallel structure
S
V repeated key word in same position
of the sentence.
Explanation of Ways to Repeat
1. Repeat an effective adjective or adverb in
phrases or clauses with parallel construction:
•
She has an incredible satisfying life, satisfying
because of her career and satisfying because of her
family.
2. Repeat the same preposition in a series:
•
He has known her for many years, before she went
to college, before she was a star, before she won
the Oscar.
3. Repeat the same noun as the object of
different prepositions:
•
This government is of the people, by the people,
and for the people.
4. Repeat the same modifying word in phrases
that begin with different prepositions:
•
Sidney devoted his life to those selfish people, for
their selfish cause, but clearly with his own selfish
motives dominating his every action.
5. Repeat the same intensifiers:
•
The baseball game was very exciting, very
enjoyable, but very long.
6. Repeat the same verb or alternative forms of
the same word:
•
In order to survive in war, a person needs training, a
person needs courage, and, most of all, a person
needs luck.
Examples
• If you have unrealistic dreams, you may
need to find other goals, other desires.
• Venice presents great gifts to the visitor—
great history, great art, great crafts.
• His greatest discoveries, his greatest
successes, his greatest influence upon the
world’s daily life came to Edison only after
repeated failures.
Pattern 10 Formula
Emphatic appositive at end, after a colon
S
V word:
the appositive (the second naming)
(with or without modifiers)
Explanation
• Withholding the repetition until the end of
the sentence builds to a climax and
provides a forceful, emphatic appositive
that concludes the sentence and shouts
for attention.
• Colon marks a full stop
– Use only after a complete statement
– Anticipates an explanation
Examples
• Her room contained a collection of trash:
old clothes, soda cans, McDonald’s
wrappers.
• When I go to the movies, I need two things
to really enjoy it: popcorn and a soda.
• Airport thieves have a common target:
unwary travelers.
Checkpoints
Check the words before the colon; be sure
they make a full statement (sentence).
After the colon, be sure to write only a
word or a phrase—not a full statement.
Variation 10a Formula
Appositive after a dash
S
V word — the appositive.
(echoed idea or second naming)
Explanation
• Instead of colon, use a dash.
– Dash almost always precedes a short
climactic appositive
– Colon generally precedes a longer appositive
• Second naming is usually climactic or
emphatic
Effects of Punctuation
• Adjusting to a new job requires one quality,
humor.
– (common usage but not emphatic)
• Adjusting to a new situation requires one quality:
humor.
– (significant pause, but not so dramatic)
• Adjusting to a new job requires one quality
above all others—a sense of humor.
– (dramatic signaling)
• Adjusting to a new job requires one quality: the
ability to laugh at oneself.
– (more dramatic, more stylistically complete)
Examples
• Many traditional philosophies echo the
ideas of one man—Plato.
• Pandas eat only one food—bamboo
shoots.
• These big burgers taste great but they
have lots of calories—over 1,000.
Checkpoints
 The second naming must be a true appositive
• Poor: One class of teenagers can be labeled—
students.
• Correct: One label would fit almost any teenager—
student.
 A dash cannot separate complete thoughts.
• Wrong: Mary Shelley spent a full year at Marlow
writing Frankenstein—her monster has survived
better than some of her husband’s poems.
• Correct: Mary Shelley spent a full year at Marlow
writing Frankenstein—creating a monster that has
survived better than some of her husband’s poems.