Listening, Team Communication, and Difficult Conversations Chapter Three McGraw-Hill/Irwin Copyright © 2014 by The McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc. All rights reserved. Learning Objectives LO3.1 Describe and evaluate the process of active listening. LO3.2 Explain and evaluate barriers to effective listening an common types of nonlistening behaviors. LO3.3 Describe the elements of questions that enhance listening and learning. 3-2 Learning Objectives (cont.) LO3.4 Explain the principles of team communication in high-performing teams. LO3.5 Describe and demonstrate approaches to planning, running, and following up on meetings. LO3.6 Explain basic principles for handling difficult conversations. 3-3 Most Important Communication Skills According to Business Graduates (2000–2010) Table 3.1 3-4 Engaging in Active Listening Active listening “a person’s willingness and ability to hear and understand.” 3-5 Six Skills in Active Listening Paying attention, Holding judgment Reflecting Clarifying Summarizing Sharing 3-6 The Traditional Chinese Character for Listen Figure 3.1 3-7 Paying Attention This step involves devoting your whole attention to others and allowing them enough comfort and time to express themselves completely. As others speak to you, try to understand everything they say from their perspective Requires active nonverbal communication 3-8 Holding Judgment People will only share their ideas and feelings with you if they feel safe Holding judgment is particularly important in tense and emotionally charged situations. Learner mind-set vs. judger mind-set 3-9 Holding Judgment Learner mind-set you show eagerness to hear others’ ideas and perspectives and listen with an open mind You do not have your mind made up before listening fully. 3-10 Holding Judgment Judger mind-set people have their minds made up before listening carefully to others’ ideas, perspective, and experiences. Judgers view disagreement rigidly, with little possibility of finding common ground 3-11 Holding Judgment Learner statements, show your commitment to hearing people out Judger statements, show you are closed off to hearing people out, shut down honest conversations 3-12 Judger Statements vs. Learner Statements Table 3.2 3-13 Reflecting To make sure you really understand others, you should frequently paraphrase what you’re hearing. 3-14 Reflecting Statements 3-15 Clarifying Clarifying involves making sure you have a clear understanding of what others mean. It includes double-checking that you understand the perspectives of others and asking them to elaborate and qualify their thoughts 3-16 Clarifying Statements Table 3.4 3-17 Summarizing and Sharing The goal of summarizing is to restate major themes so that you can make sense of the big issues from the perspective of the other person Active listening also involves expressing your own perspectives and feelings. 3-18 Summarizing Statements Table 3.5 3-19 Recognizing Barriers to Effective Listening Lack of time Lack of patience and attention span Image of leadership Communication technology Fear of bad news Defending “Me too” statements Advice-giving Judging 3-20 Defensive and Non-defensive Replies Figure 3.2 3-21 Asking the Right Questions A crucial skill is the ability to ask the right questions Good questions reflect the learner mind-set, and poor questions reflect a judger mind-set Table 3.6 3-22 Types of Effective Questions Table 3.7 3-23 Types of Counterproductive Questions Table 3.8 3-24 Common Functions of Teams Handling special projects Completing the work of particular departments Developing internal systems innovations Creating customer-service innovations Developing product innovations Engaging in employee development Reducing time to market for products and services 3-25 Barriers to Team Effectiveness Ineffective communication Lack of effective chartering and goal setting Lack of clarity and goal setting Low morale Low productivity Lack of trust 3-26 Stages of Development in High-Performance Teams Figure 3.3 3-27 Stages of Development in High-Performance Teams Forming stage team members focus on gaining acceptance and avoiding conflict Storming stage team members open up with their competing ideas about how the team should approach work 3-28 Stages of Development in High-Performance Teams Norming stage the team arrives at a work plan, including the roles, goals, and accountabilities Performing stage teams operate efficiently toward accomplishing their goals 3-29 Principles of Effective Team Communication Effective teams build a work culture around values, norms, and goals spend a lot of time discussing values, norms, and goals spend most of their time discussing work issues meet often embrace differing viewpoints and conflict feel a common sense of purpose 3-30 Embracing Differing Viewpoints Disassociation process by which professionals accept critique of their ideas without taking it personally and becoming defensive Association psychological bonding that occurs between people and their ideas 3-31 Planning for Meetings: Essential Questions What is the purpose of the meeting? What outcomes do I expect? Who should attend? When should the meeting be scheduled? What roles and responsibilities should people at the meeting have? 3-32 Planning for Meetings: Essential Questions What will be the agenda? What materials should I distribute prior to the meeting? When and how should I invite others? What logistical issues do I need to take care of (reserving rooms, getting equipment, printing materials)? 3-33 Creating and Distributing the Agenda Agendas provide structure for meetings Most agendas should include: items to be covered time frames goals and/or expected outcomes Roles materials needed. 3-34 Running Effective Meetings Create Tradition, Culture, and Variety Set Expectations and Follow the Agenda Encourage Participation and Expression of Ideas Build Consensus and a Plan of Action Closing the Meeting Dealing with Difficult People 3-35 Closing the Meeting How much information, analysis, and interpretation did I provide? Did I communicate my ideas even if they conflicted with someone else’s? Did I participate in the implementation of the timeline? Did I meet deadlines? Did I facilitate the decision-making process? Or did I just go with the flow? 3-36 Following Up After Meetings Follow up by distributing the minutes of the meeting Memo, email, team blog 3-37 Managing Difficult Conversations Difficult conversations often center on disagreements, conflict, and bad news Many people prefer to avoid difficult conversations because they want to avoid hurting the feelings of others or want to avoid conflict 3-38 Principles of Difficult Conversations Embrace difficult conversations. Assume the best in others. Adopt a learning stance. Stay calm/overcome noise. Find common ground. Disagree diplomatically. Avoid exaggeration and either/or approaches. 3-39 Components of Difficult Conversations 1. Start well/declare your intent 2. Listen to their story 3. Tell your story 4. Create a shared story 3-40