Forging Men for the
Kingdom
Anthony Bradley, Ph.D.
Associate Professor of Theology and Ethics,
The King’s College
Research Fellow, The Acton Institute
abradley@acton.org
Crab A Paddle
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Uninitiated
Passive
Immature
Wounded
Posers
Deep Questions About Identity/Purpose
As A Man
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Passive Fathers
Overmothering
Physical and Emotional Abuse
Idolatry/Sin As A Way to Measure
Masculinity (women, work, success)
As many as 90 percent of the boys who are
being raised in church will abandon it by
their 20th birthday. Many of these boys will
never return.
What happened? Hiding, posing. . .
“I was afraid because I
was naked; so I hid”
(Gen. 3:10)
• Faking through life
• Success at all cost
• Hiding (work, t.v.)
• Easy battles
• Fighting being
exposed; masks;
costumes; thug-life;
“being hard”
• “I’m on my own”
What does the Church expect of
men?
Bored, Passive, Checked Out
Angry, Hard, Unstoppable
Dead Men, Dead Church
You cannot have a thriving church without a
core of men who are true followers of
Christ. . .
Few Churches model men’s values: risk and
reward, accomplishment, heroic sacrifice,
action and adventure. . .
--David Murrow, Why Men Hate Going To Church
Unfinished Men
• A boy has to learn to
become a man from
other men’s active
formation (Proverbs 1-5ff;
1 Tim 5:1, Titus 2:6, 1 Peter 5:15, 1 John 2:13-15, Proverbs
27:17).
• Masculinity is bestowed
• God exposes holes;
incompleteness; places
that still need
developing, fathering
• Kill the men, win
the war
• Build the men,
change the world
• Boys beyond
men? Are the
boys really the
problem?
Overmothering/Emasculation
When mothers turn to their sons for the
emotional support they fail to receive
from husbands
“My parents never divorced; they just lived
separate lives under the same roof. But
as the older son, I became my mom's
surrogate spouse. It took me years to
figure out what I had gone through.
I'm 36, am a solid Reformed Christian, have
a good job as a big-firm lawyer, and
generally enjoy life. But I'm absolutely
ruined as far as relationships are
concerned. I give time to my church,
work a lot, and use my spare time to
travel the globe. I don't even bother
dating anymore.”
Extremes: misogyny/SSA
Rescue and Initiation
The Stages of the Masculine
Journey
The Stages of the Masculine
Journey
What do boys need at different stages of the
journey?
@ Creatista
2 to 1
• What do we ask high school
boys to do in the life of the
church? Is Christianity
something you “do”?
• What do our boys see from
watching adult Christian
men?
• How do we encourage
aggression and courage?
Beloved Son
• Birth to 12-years-old(ish)—Luke
2:41-52
• Exploration, safety, affirmation,
wonder
• Knows he’s the beloved son—he
is his father’s delight and his
Father’s (God) delight
• Stunted: loss of innocence
(death, divorce, abuse); passive
father leaves the question
unanswered; violent, abusive
father says, “no”; SSA
© David P. Hall/Corbis
Explorer
• Ages 13 to 25ish—1 Sam 17:29-39
• Time of testing—facing challenges,
trials, adventure, work; must submit to
world’s rules; not the center of the
universe
• Questions: can I do it, am I the real
deal, do I have what it takes?—
learned through experience with other
men; affirmed and validated
• Learning what aggression is for; battle
• If unanswered, he will search forever
(work, women, sports, etc.)
• Stunted: Kitchen-window boys, no
experiences to affirm among men,
uninterpreted failure
Warrior
• Ages 18-35ish—”Fight the good
fight”—1 Tim 6:12
• Fight, learn not to give up,
fierceness, virtues of courage
and self-discipline, meets
war/battle, choose to engage
• Sports, debate, battle for truth,
fights for a cause, put in
situations where he must fight
• Stunted: when taught that all
aggression is wrong (castrated),
exerts aggression and it fails, no
one to teach them how to fight,
no cause, wrong cause, no king
(strong leader, mentor to follow)
Lover
• What is the greatest thing a man can do?
(Matt 22: 36-40)
• Beginning early 20s (Psalms)
• Not about women but an aesthetic
conversion; a love of beauty; passions of
the heart; a move away from the analytical;
poetic is far more inspiring than the
analytical
• David knows God through intimacy; loving
creation, loving the law
• Can’t love a woman well if he is not in love
with God; can know information about God
but with a passionless heart
• Beauty, music, art, poetry, story, epic,
story, myth, legend—but where?
Lover
• Stunted—get the woman to soon
(SOS 2:7); after the explorer, into
the warrior stage; fail with a
woman, undeveloped when boys
are taught spirituality as analysis;
kept from beauty, passion (can’t
dress himself?)
• Boys need to learn how to
cultivate and develop love and
passion
• Braveheart—”fought like warrior
poets”
King
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Around 40ish—2 Samuel 5:12
Time of ruling, entrusted with power
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when can you entrust a man with power?
(if improperly initiated he will do great
damage—marriage, family, work, tyrant)
“My life is for the service of others”
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Wounded/Broken:
• No beloved son stage—no gifts, toys,
play;
• No explorer stage —spends life on
adventures (golf, hunting, sailing—
GONE)
• No warrior—picks fights to prove that he’s
a warrior (church splits—weak kings
abusing others to try to get a sense of
strength);
• Undeveloped Lover—dumps wife no. 1
and gets a new fresh one, chases the
beauty (Prov. 5)
King
• What are you ruling over, who are you
fighting for, where are you bringing the
kingdom for others?
• Or he won’t fight; the kingdom’s men
warehoused in the church
• The hardest stage—requires more of
you because it’s for others
• Have to find love in God because it’s
lonely at the top—isolation, no friends,
no mentors; Arrogance and pride
poison—won’t take input from others
• Leads young warriors
• Stunted when he is made a king too
soon—”you are the man of the house
no”; or never given a mini-kingdom while
he was young to learn; betrayal
Sage
• 60ish and up (Apostle Paul)
• Counseling and wisdom
• Kingdom gets smaller;
retires; influence is larger
than ever—counseling
others
• No moving to Florida or
Arizona—bringing your
wisdom to younger men
• Deep, deep communion
and conversation with God
• Stunted: dismissal as “too
old”
@#$$&!! Now what?
• Without proper
development, stages
will be mishandled
• At a stage but not
ready for it
• God will take you
back and mature men
through what is
needed (Luke 2:52;
Luke 4, Isa 61)
• Band of Brothers
toward the Cross
More Sources
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Fathered By God, John Eldredge
Season of Life, Jeffrey Marx
The Church Impotent, Leon Podles
Why Men Hate Going to Church, David
Murrow
• Fine Young Man, Michael Gurrian
• A Parent’s Guide To Preventing
Homosexuality, Joseph Nicolosi
Forging Men for the
Kingdom
Anthony Bradley, Ph.D.
Associate Professor of Theology and Ethics,
The King’s College
Research Fellow, The Acton Institute
abradley@acton.org