Youthworkers
Guide to
Family Ministry
Chap Clark
Fuller Seminary
Many claim it’s getting
tougher to work with,
much less parent, a
kid today…
Cultural and Developmental Context
Even in the CHURCH
A. History of youth ministry
B. Philosophy of Discipleship
C. The structure of the church
THE State of the
CONTEMPORARY
CHURCH LIFE
THE Church’s ministry
to families today…
Where are we now and why does it
matter to “Family Ministry”?
The State of Contemporary
Church Life
A. Change in child and adolescent
development
The State of
Postmodern kids:
• skills needed
for successful
adulthood
The State of
Postmodern kids:
• ongoing adult support
and guidance offered
The State of
Postmodern kids:
• skills needed
• adult support
The State of Postmodern kids:
“…These two trends have
created a serious problem in
our country, indeed a crisis.”
Dr. James Comer, Yale University
Carnegie Corporation’s Commission on Youth
Development and Community Programs, 1989
The State of
Postmodern kids:
• skills needed
• adult support
The State of Contemporary
Church Life
A. Change in child and adolescent
development
Yet one thing is
certain…it’s hard to be a
kid today
Our preparation
starts young…
Sticky Faith:
Part 1:
The
BACKGROUND
Understanding growing up…
The overall process
Understanding growing up…
A Brief History of
Childhood and
Adolescence
When it comes to STICKY FAITH…
Spiritual
development
cannot be
separated from
human
development
Understanding growing up…
The overall process
Timing and duration
Understanding growing up…
Why this matters…
When is someone an “adult”?
Timing and Duration
Puberty
Pre-1900
1970-1980s
Today
Culture
14.5
16
13
18/20
11/12
mid-20s
Teenage
brain
“If you think of the teenage brain as a car,
today's adolescents acquire an accelerator a
long time before they can steer and brake.”
- WSJ, What’s wrong with the teenage mind?“ Alison Gopnik, January 28, 2012
Understanding growing up…
The overall process
Timing and duration
Changing Stages
Changing Stages
1930s-1990s
Independent
13
Dependent
14-15
18-20
Interdependent
Changing Stages
Independent
12
Dependent
14-15
19-21
1990s-2000s
mid-20s
Interdependent
Changing Stages
Independent
12
14-15
2000-Today
mid
19-21
mid-20s
early-30s?
Dependent
Emerging
Adulthood
J. J. Arnett
Interdependent
Understanding growing up…
The overall process
Timing and duration
Changing Stages
Society’s response to kids
ParenTeen:
An exponential loss of
Social Capital from
those who are
necessary in the lives
of our kids
Social Capital:
Robert Putnam (Harvard):
Social capital refers to the
“connections among individuals,
[including the] social networks and
the norms of reciprocity and
trustworthiness…it is the idea that
social networks matter.”
The loss of Social Capital…
•
•
•
•
Adults used to believe that all kids
were their kids
Adults used to see their primary role
as facilitating children becoming adults
Adults once saw kids as assets, not
liabilities (they were worth the effort)
Adults used to “be there” for kids
How kids
have been
treated by
adults…
The loss of Social Capital…
The rapidly increasing
reality of
“systemic
abandonment”
Even in the
church…
The State of Contemporary
Church Life
A. Change in child and adolescent
development
B. The fragmentation of the church
Cultural and Developmental Context
The Fragmentation of the Church
Y.M.
Church
Cultural and Developmental Context
The Fragmentation of the Church
Y.M.
Church
Cultural and Developmental Context
The Fragmentation of the Church
F.M.
C.M.
Y.M.
Church
“Church”
W.M.
C.M.
W.M.
M.M.
The State of Contemporary
Church Life
A. Change in child and adolescent
development
B. The fragmentation of the church
C. Contemporary approach to people in
the church… Individual discipleship…
Cultural and Developmental Context
STRUCTURE of the CHURCH
4th
grader
7th
grader
10th
grader
Mom
Stepda
d
Church as FAMILY:
"If we preach a gospel that
neglects the welfare of the whole in
exchange for the happiness of the
individual, then the Church as a
living, pulsing body is weakened
as is the welfare of the family. We
must recover the priority of
interrelationships.”
- Dennis Guernsey, A New Design for Family Ministry (99)
The “Youth Ministry
Movement” has a history
DEFINITION:
“Christ and kids…that’s youth
ministry, Jesus and kids”
- Mike Yaconelli, Address at NYWC, 2003
GOOD: Focused, compelling, prophetic
PROBLEM: What does it MEAN?
What we’re learning about lifelong faith
Safety and
Gentleness
(1 Th 2:78)
Comfort, encourage,
and urging as a fan
(1 Th 2:11-12)
“Love one
another”
(John 15)
Social
Capital
Family Support and Stability
“Do not embitter” (Col
3:21)
WHERE FROM HERE?
We need a ROBUST
THEOLOGICAL
CHURCH-BASED
Commitment to ADOPT
kids INTO the Body of Christ
Developing Adolescent Faith
1. Model authentic faith
2. Encourage provocative conversation
3. Lead with understand & compassion
4. Comfort, encourage and “be a fan”
5. Introduce them to Jesus (the real Jesus)
6. Talk about, wrestle with justice
“Sticky Faith” Response to HURTing Kids
Connecting “self” to “Justice”
Kids are taught to recognize…
…that they have gifts/talents to make a difference
…that they have much to learn from others
…that they are a lot like others
IN SHORT…
grow up believing they have a place in the world
Where from here?
1. Allow kids to be kids
3-stage adolescents desperate to know:
– Who they are (Identity)
– What gifts they have (autonomy)
– They are cherished (belonging)
The life-giving need for “Social Capital”
The need for developing power and voice
Where from here?
2. Encourage all adults to “own”
every kid
As pastors and leaders, it is our job to:
– Equip other adults to “proactively care” for kids
– Ensure that every kid is valued and respected
– Help the kid know that they are capable and
powerful, and to FLEX their “gifts and callings”
Programmatically remind staff that every kid needs to
be seen as a viable, valuable member of the body
Where from here?
3. Partnering adults helping kids
move toward the kingdom
As pastors and leaders, it is our job to:
– Make sure adults are taught how to love a student
– HOLD adults responsible for encouraging adolescents
– ALL PROGRAMS MUST see adoption as the goal
Where from here?
Implications for the church…
(Or, “Hey, Chap, what does this LOOK LIKE?)”
– Share vulnerably, but do not make kids “save” you
– Regularly, intentionally expose kids social justice
– Start slowly, take “Baby Steps,” BUT DO SOMETHING!
What we can do…
Model a Kingdom
Trajectory