Hello,
What I’m about to share with you goes against everything we as
women have been told, and believe, about what it takes to be
irresistibly attractive to men.
Some of what I’m going to say here, and maybe in fact all of it, is
going to be surprising to you.
What attracts and connects a man to you in a deep, sustaining
way has nothing to do with the shape of your body, your
intelligence, the smell of your fragrance, how much money you
earn or how sexy you are.
What makes a man fall in love and want to commit himself to
you has nothing to do with having the same hobbies, political
views or spiritual beliefs.
The way to become irresistibly attractive to a man is to connect
to his heart.
What you look like, do for a living or like to do in your spare time
will be of interest to a man, of course it will, but they won’t be
the reason why he wants to build an intimate, deeply loving
partnership with you, because they are not what lights up his
heart.
The 5 Key Steps to being Irresistibly Attractive shows you how to
connect to his heart, in a whole new way.
I’ve put the 5 Keys Steps into the acronym TREAT so it’s easy for
you to remember.
is for Thank You
Men want to make us happy and they want to give.
You will have heard men say: ‘I can’t seem to do
anything right, whatever I do is wrong’
‘As long as you are happy, I’m happy’
This is a man expressing his instinctive desire to make
you happy.
And this may surprise you – he doesn’t need you to DO anything
in return.
What a man needs is simply your appreciation.
We women often believe we need to DO things to attract a
man’s love and to please a man.
One of a man’s core needs is to be appreciated.
Appreciation is how a man knows he’s doing the right thing.
One of the greatest things you can do for a man is to take a
moment to look him in the eye, and say ‘thank you’?
If you’re dating, thanking a man for arranging where you’re going
to meet, going to the bar or walking you to your car will make
him feel fantastic.
When you’re in a relationship, I know sometimes saying ‘thank
you’ can feel like the hardest thing to do, especially if you’re
feeling angry or disappointed with a man.
If right now all you can see is what he’s doing wrong, look for
one small thing that he does that feels good, even if it’s the
tinniest of things.
Now, here’s a question, from the other side of the coin.
How much do you appreciate yourself?
How much do you criticise yourself and beat yourself up? It’s
mesmerising to a man to be around a woman who loves and
accepts herself.
Try it - look at him, smile, and say ‘Thank you for
the dishes/driving
tonight/picking
the kids
The next time you hear yourclearing
inner voice
putting you down,
catch
up’. and at the same time, remind
yourself, and accept that voice
yourself of something you’ve done, no matter how small, that
You can still feel angry and disappointed with him…
felt great and thank yourself.
is for Thank You
Just that one ‘Thank you’ WILL connect with a man.
When a man sees he’s made you happy; when he
feels appreciated, it feels amazing for him and he’ll
want to have more of that feeling.
This Key alone can turn a relationship around over-night, without
having to share with him how angry and disappointed you feel.
Now, here’s a question, from the other side of the coin.
How much do you appreciate yourself?
How much do you criticise yourself and beat yourself up?
The next time you hear your inner voice putting you down, catch
yourself, and accept that voice and, if you can, love it.
Then remind yourself of something you’ve done, no matter how small,
that felt great.
It might be taking yourself to the gym or a walk in the fresh air or a
long soak in the bath…
…and thank yourself.
It’s mesmerising to a man to be around a woman who loves and
appreciates herself.
is for Respect
I’m going to start this Key with a question
about you.
Do you respect yourself?
Or do you neglect yourself?
By that I mean:
Do you keep putting your man’s needs ahead of your own, even when
you’re feeling worn out?
Do you initiate, or agree to sex, in fear that he’ll walk away if you
don’t?
Do you find yourself chasing after a man when you know it’s the last
thing you should be doing?
The next time you notice you’re neglecting yourself, catch yourself,
and STOP.
Then do something that feels good to YOU.
That might be putting your feet up for half an hour in the garden with
a coffee,
OR reading a book that you love when you get into bed at night,
OR arranging to see a friend who always feels good to be around.
is for Respect
Doing things that feel GOOD to you,
changes your energy and a man notices
this.
A man is profoundly attracted to a woman
who loves and respects herself.
When a man sees you doing things that
feel GOOD to you, it builds attraction in
him, for you.
What about men?
Do you respect them?
Do you listen; really listen to what a man says, without judgement?
Or, do you find yourself judging men and believing that what they are
doing and saying is in some way wrong?
Judging, criticizing and ‘picking’ at our man for what he says and does
is often about our need for control…
…and a way for us to deflect the unpleasant feelings we have bubbling
up inside us.
When we criticize and undermine a man it has a powerful impact on
him.
He feels pushed away and he feels wrong!
On the flip side, when we respect a man, he will respond to it.
It feels really good to him.
is for Respect
And it creates attraction in him, for YOU.
He’ll instinctively want to be around you
more, and do more for you, so he can feel
that good feeling over and over again.
A great place to start is to make a conscious effort to respect his
decisions, his opinions and his suggestions, even if you don’t agree
with them.
For example, if you’re dating and he doesn’t suggest the best
restaurant in town to take you, try this - catch your judgement and say
‘Thank you for inviting me to dinner and for choosing where we eat. I
really appreciate it.’
If you’re in a relationship and he suggests how he plans to fix a job in
the house or where to take the kids for a treat, could you respect what
he suggests and say, ‘Yes, thank you’?
Does it really matter if these small things aren’t how you would do
them?
Agreeing with the small suggestions he makes, respecting his opinion
and being open to the decisions he wants to make, gives a guy you’re
dating confidence and makes him feel great, and in a relationship it
can turn around friction and bad feeling instantly…
…creating greater warmth and openness for a deeper connection.
is for Express
Myself
A man wants to make us happy, as we’ve
discussed earlier.
For that to happen a man needs to know what
makes us happy, so he can keep doing it; AND
what doesn’t make us happy, so he can stop
doing it.
We’re often so worried about upsetting a man, we end up being
vague, giving lots of explanation or, even worse, saying nothing and
feeling our resentment build more and more inside us.
Men love it when we express ourselves in a simple, direct and
straightforward way.
Now this is going to surprise you; men LOVE emotions.
What they don’t like is drama.
Drama to a man is seeing that you’re feeling one thing and hearing
you say something completely different.
I’ll give you an example...
It’s confusing for a man when you say ‘I’m fine’ and yet inside you’re
feeling angry, frustrated or jealous.
A man can sense that your words aren’t matching what’s going on
inside you.
This feels like a lie to a man.
is for Express
Myself
Whereas, it’s attractive to a man to hear you
say, ‘I feel xxx. I don’t want to do xxx. What
do you think?’
A man can hear this, understand it and it gives
him the opportunity to solve the problem and
do something that he knows will make you
feel good.
Notice there’s no blame in this.
You aren’t saying ‘You’re an idiot/When you did that I felt…’
Pointing out what he’s done wrong feels like pressure to a man and
pushes him away.
Saying ‘I feel xxx and I don’t want xxx’ is just about how YOU feel and
what YOU want.
For example, if you’re dating and a man tells you he’s booked a
restaurant that you know doesn’t cater for your dietary requirements
you could say ‘I feel excited for our date and the restaurant doesn’t
cater for my diet. I know a couple of places nearby that do. What do
you think?
If you’re in a relationship it might look like ‘I’m feeling tired and
crabby. I don’t want to go out for dinner tonight. What do you think?’
or ‘I feel frustrated. I was looking forward to seeing my Mum tonight
and I don’t want to go tomorrow instead. What do you think?’
So, if something doesn’t feel right, tell him.
What is incredibly desirable to a man is a woman who can express
herself in a clear and honest way, without blaming him.
is for Arms Open
Being open and warm is like an invitation to a
man.
It draws a man to us.
When you’re closed up, guarded, and shut
down, to a man this feels like a barrier and
makes it hard for him to connect with you.
Try this now.
Picture a man in front of you.
Really see him in front of you.
Cross your arms and notice how it feels.
Now let your arms hang loose at your side and open your palms
outwards.
How does that feel?
Maybe it feels nice, maybe scary, maybe both?
The reason it feels scary and nice at the same time is that being open
is being vulnerable.
Being open is inviting intimacy.
No wonder it can feel scary!
is for Arms Open
If you think about it, when you cross your
arms, you are covering your heart.
Go on, do it again.
Cross your arms.
Your heart can’t be seen.
Your arms are like a barrier, protecting your heart.
The simple act of softening your shoulders, dropping your arms to
your side and opening your palms outwards automatically opens you
up… both on the outside and the inside.
Try it, soften your shoulders and let your arms drop by your side now.
See how you can breathe deeper into your tummy.
See how your breath pushes your chest out and, so too, your heart.
Feel your feet firmly planted on the ground.
Notice how that feels.
Men are very attracted to open, warm and confident women.
Now add a smile and you’ll be irresistible!
is for Trust
Do you trust a man?
Do you trust yourself?
What if you started with Trust, rather than
starting with suspicion, doubts or expecting
the worst?
Take a moment now to consider what would be different if you trusted
a man.
In order to Trust a man, you need to Trust yourself first.
A man feels naturally attracted to a woman who trusts herself and
trusts him.
The next time you notice yourself doubting a man and your
relationship or anticipating that it’s all going to go wrong, catch
yourself.
Notice how your shoulders feel and how your tummy feels.
Are your shoulders up or down?
How does your tummy feel?
Take a breath into your shoulders and your tummy and say to yourself
‘I hear my doubt and fear AND I trust myself, and I trust this man (and
our relationship).
Notice how that feels.
is for Trust
Trusting a man doesn’t mean tolerating bad
behavior or being mis-treated or abused.
Trusting yourself includes committing to
putting yourself first, looking after yourself
and taking yourself out of any situation that
doesn’t feel good.
It’s vital to be able to trust that YOU WILL and YOU CAN remove
yourself from a difficult situation.
Once you know that you can do that, you can then CHOOSE to Trust.
Trusting a man is about giving him the space to step up, to do the right
thing and to meet your needs.
It’s also about trusting that HOW he steps up, WHAT he does and
HOW he meets your needs may not be in the way you envisaged it.
So, those are the 5 Key Steps To Being Irresistibly Attractive.
On the next page is a one-page graphic you can print off to remind you
of the 5 Keys.
I hope you’ve now got a feel for how this is going to attract and deeply
connect a man to you.
Click here to view my Fire Up His Desire video programme which goes
even deeper into TREAT and how to get a man’s attention AND hold it!
Love
Michelle x
is for Thank You
Today, I will stop, look a man in the eye and say ‘Thank you’.
I will catch myself wanting to DO something in return.
I will also appreciate myself for taking care of me.
is for Respect
Today, I will catch myself judging and criticizing a man,
and instead I’ll respect his opinion, be open to his decision
and agree with his suggestion and see what happens!
is for Express Myself
Today, I will express myself in a simple, direct and honest
way, without apportioning blame. I’ll use the phrase ‘I feel
xxx. I don’t want to do xxx. What do you think?’
is for Arms Open
Today, I will soften my shoulders, drop my arms to my side,
open my palms, and breath into my tummy and my heart.
Oh, and I won’t forget the smile!
is for Trust
Today, I will catch myself doubting a man, questioning my
relationship and anticipating things going wrong. I will
choose to trust myself, this man and our relationship.