Book review- Emotionally Healthy spirituality All of us in one way or another long to grow and mature. As Christians, we long to grow in our relationship with God. We want to become mature Christians who look more and more like Jesus. For this reason, we focus on becoming spiritually healthy. We read our Bibles, pray, go to church, serve, give, etc. While all of these things are absolutely essential to the Christian life, what many of us fail to see is that they are not enough. In our attempt to grow spiritually, we often fail to look beneath the surface and check our emotions and feelings. We brush our emotions aside and assume as if those are not critical to our overall health. In his book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero unpacks this critical truth—there is not spiritual health without emotional health. And that’s so true as they essentially inseparable. Peter Scazzero's Emotionally Healthy, Spirituality is meant to be a life-changing book that helps Christians on their journey towards spiritual maturity. Scazzero maintains that one cannot be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally Immature. His perspective is that "the combination of emotional health and contemplative spirituality…..will unleash a revolution into the deep places of your life" in Christ which will in turn transform all the relationships in a person's life (p. 1). The book contains 10 chapters in two parts. Part one lays out the rampant problem of emotionally unhealthy spirituality and part two is a radical guide to lead one on the pathway to emotionally healthy spirituality. One of the things the author says throughout the book is that emotional health and spiritual maturity are inseparable. You can’t have one without the other. And You see this iceberg as one of the pictures he picks on throughout the book and we all know the analogy about the iceberg. When you are on the water’s surface, you only see the top of the iceberg but underneath is this massive piece you don’t see from the surface. And He says that’s like our lives. Everybody sees the top part of the iceberg but nobody sees the underneath the surface. And because nobody sees underneath the surface we believe the underneath the iceberg doesn’t exist. And all we are is the top of the iceberg. And in turn, all the underneath surface stuff is the nasty stuff that is hurting us and if we don’t deal with it, nothing is going to get better. We aren’t going to grow, we are not going to become spiritually mature Another concept he speaks about is that it’s not possible to be spiritually mature while remaining immature. And ultimately what I think this goes back to is a biblical truth that God cares about the whole of you. He cares about all of you. And one of the problems I think we face in the church today is we want to save souls from hell. As much as that is a good thing hell is not a good place. You were created as a whole person. Spirit, body, and soul. There is a reason there is a resurrection as God wants to restore your WHOLE person. And for your health, and your overall spiritual maturity this is where how you deal with your emotions affects the health and quality of you as a person. So it’s not just about whether you have read your Bible all seven days of the week or whether you have been to church every weekend or whether you’ve been praying regularly. All of those things are important but they are without the other pieces of the puzzle. You are not healthy. It’s a holistic idea, we cannot be spiritually mature if we are emotionally immature. This, therefore, shows that there is something seriously wrong with contemporary Christianity, which has shallow models of spirituality and discipleship that addresses only the tip of the iceberg of our problems. The 90% under the surface remains unchanged by Jesus The Author then speaks about spending time with God throughout your day- if you have been in church you used this concept called quiet time. Whether you set a specific time when you are going to spend time with God. And what we typically think are we got to find this time in our day to get our time in with the Lord. And if you are a morning person, you do your time in the morning with God or if you are a night person, you do it at night. And what is significant about the daily office is that it’s saying yes but you need more than that. and if we think about our relationship with someone significant, do we only talk with that person once a day? For most of us, our communication with our significant person is regular. And in the same way, our relationship with God wouldn’t be healthy if there isn’t a build in and regular communication. And the regular office is designed for that, to try and not say I’m going to talk to God at this point or that time only. I am going to try and find time to spend time with God throughout the day. Transformation Through Scripture and Prayer- If we want to recognise where we are emotionally unhealthy, we have to read the Bible and pray with a new lens. We need to approach the Father, asking him to reveal to us what he wants to teach us, where he wants us to grow, and what he wants us to do. When we read Scripture and pray with this in mind, our time with the Lord can truly be transformative! Find Your Identity in God- To become self aware, we must anchor our identity in God. To anchor our identity in God is to find our identity in how God sees us and not in how the enemy wants us to see ourselves. Our identity is not found in our weaknesses, mistakes, regrets, or pain. We are God's most treasured creation. In Christ, we are loved by God. In Christ, we are sons and daughters of God. We need to anchor our identity in God. The Enemy wants you to find your identity in your sin, mistakes, regrets, failures, weaknesses, lies, etc. As God wants you to find you identity in him. As we are: God’s most treasured creation, loved by God and a son or daughter of God. “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:38–39). Emotional health powerfully anchors me in the love of God by affirming that I am worthy of feeling, worthy of being alive, and lovable even when I am brutally honest about the good, the bad, and the ugly deep beneath the surface of my iceberg. We convince ourselves that we cannot live without certain earthly pleasures, accomplishments, and relationships. We become ‘attached’ (or ‘addicted,’ to use a contemporary word). We attach our wills to the belief that something less than God will satisfy us. We think if we just accomplish that one big goal, then we will really feel content and good about ourselves. We will be ‘finished’ and able to rest. Developing new rhythms- the author then talks about developing new rhythms. We develop new rhythms: as we need to slow, we need to become emotionally mature people, we need to experience a long union with God- intimacy. When we create these rhythms for our lives we are able to slow down, process and reflect on what we should do for the situations in our lives while still keep God at the centre of it all. I absolutely love the principles, practicality, challenging and self reflection thoughts that are in the book. As it emphasising the importance of being both emotional healthy and spiritual healthy and not just hand picking one or the other. To be honest, it is very hard to critique what I didn’t enjoy about the book as it’s so profound and authentic in its very unique. So very compelling. So much valuable knowledge that could really move your relationship with Jesus to such a beautiful and sustainable level. Here is some very profound quotes that really touched me in the book: - When you plan your vacation this coming year, apply the principle of Sabbath. See it as an extended Sabbath to the Lord. Plan, in advance, how you will balance the four elements of biblical Sabbaths—stopping, resting, delighting, and contemplating—during that time. - In the same way, a Rule of Life is a trellis that helps us abide in Christ and become more fruitful spiritually. A Rule of Life, very simply, is an intentional, conscious plan to keep God at the centre of everything we do. It provides guidelines to help us continually remember God as the Source of our lives. - One of the greatest gifts we can give our world is to be a community of emotionally healthy adults who love well. This will take the power of God and a commitment to learn, grow, and break with unhealthy, destructive patterns that go back generations in our families and cultures—and in some cases, our Christian culture also. - Many people realise through this exercise how much they still live in the past and project it into present relationships. Once we begin to see this connection, we can begin making different choices that are more loving, emotionally adult responses rather than allergic reactions. - We wanted to move people from defensiveness, reactivity, and fear to openness, empathy, and vulnerability. We realised they needed to experience a new kingdom-way of relating that was outside their comfort zone. Practicing new skills like the ones that follow will cause a level of discomfort initially. They are easy to understand but difficult to implement. In conclusion, what I am going to apply from reading this book is working on both emotional health and spiritual health. Not neglecting anyone of them anymore. Developing new rhythms, from Office to Self-reflection to Sabbaths intentionally to not cause burnout as I usually do. I am going to try my best to slow down as well being such a workaholic. And also be more self-aware of the transformative nature that scripture is revealing to me.
