SCARS AND SUCCOURS OF MOTHERHOOD:
The Autobiography and Memoirs
of
Mrs Janet Sunday Okocha
(Nee Ikegwuru A K A Nene)
Compiled by
Christopher Okechikwu Agwu
Published by:
Timsmek Global Publishers®
Shop 22, Choba Campus Shopping Complex,
University of Port Harcourt, Choba, Port Harcourt,
Nigeria.
+2347034559895
www.timsmek.com|
© Christopher Okechikwu Agwu 2021
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be
copied, reproduced, redistributed online or offline
or stored in a retrieval system, photocopied or
transmitted by any form or means – electronic or
mechanical without the written permission of the
author.
ISBN: 978-978-998-215-8
A catalogue of this book is available at the National
Library of Nigeria.
ii
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I am immensely grateful to the almighty God for
the gift of thoughts and language and for the
enablement to express same in this descriptive
presentation of the life and times of his noble
daughter, Mrs Janet Okocha.
I am also thankful to Mr Rufus Okocha, who for
exceptional love of mother and the expressed
will to celebrate his mother passionately
provided all necessary support and directives for
the documentation of this brief autobiography of
the best mother in the whole world.
To God be the glory.
iii
CONTENTS
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS .................................................. ii
Contents………………………………………………...……iii
Executive summary ........................................................... 1
CHAPTER ONE ................................................................... 7
Brief Educational biography of Mrs. Janet Okocha ............ 7
CHAPTER TWO .................................................................. 9
Critical virtues of Mrs Janet Okocha .................................. 9
Love for peaceful neighbourliness ...................................... 9
Nene‘s unique teaching strategies in child nurturing ......... 10
CHAPTER THREE ............................................................. 14
Interactive Moments with Mrs Janet Sunday Okocha ....... 14
CHAPTER FOUR ............................................................... 28
The ―Ovu aka ha‖ feat ..................................................... 28
Nene‘s Ovu aka ha ceremony........................................... 29
CHAPTER FIVE ................................................................. 47
The Glorious mother coronation ...................................... 47
Interaction with Nene ...................................................... 49
At the church ................................................................... 51
General comments of Nene‘s children.............................. 53
Rufus Okocha .................................................................. 53
Mrs Comfort Wada Ogbonda ........................................... 56
Emma Wopuru Okocha .................................................... 57
iv
Mrs. Favour Wobiareri Chukwu ...................................... 57
Mrs. Choice Okocha ........................................................ 58
CHAPTER SIX ................................................................... 60
Memoirs of Janet Okocha ................................................ 60
Wife Battering ................................................................. 60
Advice to women ............................................................. 70
Single parenting: A season of planting ............................. 72
Know thy sister and brother ............................................. 77
CHAPTER SEVEN ............................................................. 81
Mrs Janet Okocha‘s child nurturing practices: An academic
perspective ...................................................................... 81
Epilogue .............................................................................. 98
References........................................................................... 99
v
EXECUTIVE SUMMARY
As William Shakespeare stated, ―Life is a stage‖. This
stage is designed and crafted for each person by the
Almighty God himself. In the creator‘s blend of stage
craft, numerous roles and associated activities are
designed and assigned to individuals in scenarios that
span the person‘s life time. This is DIVINE
STAGECRAFT. It is the process of design and
assignment of lifetime roles and activities to man as well
as the freedom of choice of the mode of performance of
same. While human stagecraft specifies roles and
activities that actors perform in order to achieve expected
outcomes at specified moments, divine stagecraft
provides the necessary flexibility and freewill such that
at own whims, individuals can act out the creative
dimension of the image of God in their lives (Gen. 1:27).
One outstanding feature of divine stage craft is that
amidst the abundance of provisions of roles and activities
for individuals to act out the image and likeness of God
that they possess free - willingly, it does not specifically
allocate individuals to either the positive or negative
polarities of the activities. It is by the exercise of the
grace of free will that the almighty God bestowed on
mankind that each person may choose the positive
polarities of the activities which evidence intentions of
the actor for good. Such good intentions actually aim to
glorify the almighty God. Alternatively, the individual
1
may choose actions at the negative polarities of the
different roles and activities assigned to him or her in
lifetime affairs. Such actions manifest intentions to
promote evil and edify ―satanic‖ desires. Interestingly
however, an accountability clause is attached to the grace
of freewill. Each person is called upon to account for the
manner by which he/she utilised the grace of free will.
It is in this vein that the Bible admonished man to make
the right choice in the exercise of free will through the
injunction ―I present to you this day, good and evil,
choose good so that you will live‖ (Deuteronomy 30 15 –
19)
And so by adherence to this counsel in the exercise of
freewill, some actors perform the roles of life so
outstandingly that their foot prints remain indelibly
etched on the sands of time. When they depart from the
stage of life, their memories linger, not actually because
of:
-
The aesthetics of their performances.
The status they attained in the society.
The extent to which they influenced the fortunes
of others.
The amount of economic comfort or wealth they
acquired.
2
Though these factors appeal to human wisdom, but more
importantly, it is because of the extent to which they
utilised these factors to exhibit love to fellow
men/women.
And by applying this instrumentality of love, which is
the authentic image/likeness of God, such persons would
have.
-
Recreated their environment and the society,
making it better than they met it.
Brought succour to troubled minds.
Improved the wellbeing of man.
Evidently, the former outcomes are material oriented,
temporal in nature and based on human wisdom and
desires. But the later set of outcomes has more authentic
impact on the society. Such outcomes actually glorify
God.
Although in assessing the lifestyle of persons whose
efforts contribute to societal betterment, the society tends
to accord credence to formal educational status and
wealth, the “LEARNING FROM OUR LIVES
PROJECT” accords primary consideration to persons
whose efforts at the improvement of the society stemmed
from a mindset that is illumined with the light of love.
And so breaking the bounds of illiteracy as measured by
the ability to read and write, the project hereby exhumes
3
the unsung memoirs of some nobles and heroes of our
time. Though some of these persons are not formally
educated in the sense of western schooling, they were
properly tutored in the traditional values and customs of
their people. They imbibed the tenets and ethics of life.
They were thoroughly schooled in the norms of human
relationship, the diplomatic overtures that characterise
the relationship of families, lineages, communities and
ethnic nations as well as the skills of human endeavour.
After all, the ability to read and write a given language is
not the only measure of the educated person. In the
words of one commentator,
“a Chinese professor who
cannot communicate in
English presents the case
of an illiterate if he attends
a meeting that is conducted
in English language”.
Actually, the western educational system thrives in the
Nigerian society as the major avenue for inculcating
values and norms to upcoming generations, while the
supposedly illiterates of our society who are so classified
because they cannot read and write, have effort-fully
perpetuated the traditional norms and cultural values of
their ethnic nations to younger generations. By their
4
efforts, the cultural identities of Nigerian ethnic groups
are sustained.
It is in this vein that this edition of the Learning from our
lives project purposely selected Mrs Janet Sunday Wada
Okocha (nee Ikegwuru) as one of the nobles of our time
whose life style presents as an admirable learning object.
She is indeed a monument that speaks for the past,
addressing the present and will impact the future with
virtues that have positive impact on the society and also
enthrones the well-being of man.
The vision of the learning from our lives project upholds
the fact that when adults engage in learning efforts their
emotions are involved. And to enable the reader draw
meaning out of the life experiences of the subject, a
presentational approach that appeals to human feelings
by vivifying the life experiences of the subject is hereby
adopted. This reflective thought process that incorporates
new ideas, feelings and values to generate new
understandings is transformative learning (Mezirow,
1990). Neurobiology researchers (Davidson & Cacioppo,
1992), also affirm that this approach generates much
learning. The transformation of the individual for societal
5
wellbeing is the objective of the learning from our lives
project.
And so in these times of moral decadence as currently
witnessed in Nigeria, which manifest as the Boko haram
scourge, militancy, hijacking, armed robbery,
kidnapping, etc, Scars and Succours of Motherhood
presents us a narrative on the virtuous lifestyle of Mrs
Janet Okocha. Amidst the travails of single motherhood,
she remained resolute, exhibiting worthy motherhood
virtues and nurturing her children on the path of moral
rectitude. She is indeed a learning object and this
autobiographical record constitutes an instructional
resource on worthy motherhood and the rekindling of
moral rectitude among the youths and young mothers.
6
CHAPTER ONE
Brief Educational biography of Mrs. Janet Okocha
The educational
biography
of
Mrs.
Janet
Okocha reveals
that her parents
were
strict
disciplinarians.
Her father, a
wealthy
yam
farmer of his
time and a
traditional
ruler, possessed
both economic and political power. He and his beloved
wife never exposed their ―precious‖ daughter, Sunday; a
princess of Rumuchukwunwanyia lineage of Ozuoba, the
ancestral capital of Akpor kingdom to the strange
educational system of the white man. She was duly
nurtured in the norms of womanhood in accordance with
the customs of the Ikwerres. She was quite informed on
the etiquettes of feminine roles in a royal household as
well as the skills of farming, trading and the management
of domestic affairs. Nene, as she was fondly called,
attended the Bible study sessions of the Anglican Church
where she worshipped the almighty God, and was duly
7
tutored on the noble roles of family members using the
family of Joseph, Mary and Jesus as a model. Nene was
not lacking in knowledge of the role of the woman in
home building and child upbringing as well as the
customary roles of the woman in community leadership.
Her regular association with her maternal kinsmen, the
Rumumanyaikpokwus of Choba also exposed her to
experiential knowledge gains and expanded her horizons
of thought and skilfulness in problem solving such that
she developed the confidence and ability to manage
problematic situations.
8
CHAPTER TWO
Critical virtues of Mrs Janet Okocha
Love for peaceful neighbourliness
Nene‘s love for peaceful co-existence knows no bounds.
She is ready to forego her rights and possessions just to
ensure that she is at peace with her neighbours. This
desire to live peacefully with every person led her to the
philosophy of Conflict Avoidance which she sermonises
through songs and dances whenever the opportunity of
such admonitions presents itself. In her words ―whenever
your relative, husband, mate or friend tries to cheat you,
pretend that you do not know. Ensure you feign
ignorance of your rights. If you try to claim your rights,
then be ready for trouble‖. Nene further explained that
the joy you derive by living peacefully with your
neighbours even when they rob you of your rights
outweighs the hostility and emotional trauma you
experience when you insist on your rights but have to
contend with ill wills and conflict ridden relationships
with your neighbours. And most importantly, by this act
of ―turning the other cheek‖ (Matt 5:39) you not only
gain peace, you also become the victorious one.
9
The joy you derive by living peacefully
with your neighbours even when they
deny you your rights outweighs the
hostility and emotional trauma you
experience when you insist on your
rights but have to contend with ill will
and conflict ridden relationships with
your neighbours
Nene’s unique teaching strategies in child nurturing
Nene has very unique strategies for presenting incisive
content and advice to her children and associates.
Whenever an opportunity of merry and joyous interaction
occurs, Nene would tactically present her philosophy of
Conflict Avoidance through joyous songs and admirable
dance steps. Reasoning that the joy and merriment of the
moment is made possible because conflict and the
associated acrimony are absent, she would utilise the
joyous mind-set so created and her songs and dance steps
to drive home the message of peaceful cohabitation.
Even when conflict seems to arise, Nene would assuage a
conflict ridden scenario with her songs, dance steps and
smiles by redirecting attention from the object of conflict
to her blissful emotion-laden intervention. Indeed, the
10
very unique dance steps are only associated with Mrs
Janet Okocha.
Reasoning that the joy and
merriment of the moment is made
possible because conflict and the
associated acrimony are absent, she
would then utilise the joyous mindset so created and her songs and
dance steps to drive home the
message of peaceful cohabitation.
Whenever she steps up to sing and dance, her wisdom,
sense of artistry and the message of her songs arouse
positive emotions. Every person is invited to listen in
admiration. By admiring her dancing style, listening to
her songs and appreciating the message, the individual
inevitably internalises the message and cultivates value
for peaceful neighbourliness. Truly, this is a unique
teaching strategy.
11
The aesthetics of dance, the joy of
songs and rhythms of music, and a
multitasking
capability
that
combines all these features to
communicate
virtuous
content
aimed at equipping the learner with
cognitive
and
affective
understandings and capabilities can
only be associated with individuals
that bear the mark of a genius.
It is actually a Meta Teaching Strategy because it
incorporates the features of the constructivist‗s story
based teaching approach and also appeals to
psychomotor performance skills. The aesthetics of dance,
the joy of songs and rhythms of music, and a
multitasking capability that combines all these features to
communicate virtuous content aimed at equipping the
learner with cognitive and affective understandings and
capabilities can only be associated with individuals that
bear the mark of a genius. No wonder anyone who
encounters Mrs Janet Okocha perceives her as a learning
object. The memories of such encounter as evident in her
high level of insight understanding of issues and the
12
learning gains
subconscious.
remain
indelibly
13
etched
in
the
CHAPTER THREE
Interactive Moments with Mrs Janet Sunday Okocha
Question: As a child did you attend any school?
Nene’s
Response:
Laughter; in our own
time,
we never attended any
kind of school; we were
only taught how to farm
and go to church.
Question: What is your
husband‘s name?
Response: The name is Ekwueme
Question: Please tell me how you met each other.
Response: Okay, we met when he came to witness a
dancing festival at my community, Ozuoba. I participated
actively in that dance. But I cannot tell who
recommended me to him before he walked up to me and
proposed marriage. However, I discovered that he
admired my dancing skills and how I played my role in
the drama of the dance. Infact because of the role I
played in the dance drama I was nicknamed ―DO Good‖.
And on the other hand, my skill in dancing also earned
14
me the nickname ―Wainna‖. The day he came to meet
my parents was a memorable day to me. My parents
asked me; would you like to go to Choba in marriage? I
said ―yes‖, that I would go. Before his coming, anyway I
had had so many suitors coming from other communities
of Akpor like Akami (Ogbogoro), Rumuekini, Rumuosi,
Alakahia and other Ikwerre towns but I did not accept. I
have special likeness for Choba.
Question: Nene you said a man from Ogbogoro came
seeking your hand in marriage, you declined, a
Rumuekini man came you also turned him down. Now
tell us what you found in Ekweme. What is the special
feature or attribute that qualified Ekwueme to win your
love?
Response: The things I found in Ekwueme my husband
are too numerous. First of all, my mother is a native of
Choba. And the man, Ekwueme and his kind of person is
what I had desired for long. And so when Ekweme came
to ask me to marry him, I saw everything I wanted in a
man. That was why I accepted his proposal.
Question: Nene, did you ever have misunderstanding
with this your loving husband Ekweme?
Response: Yes, there was a day he provoked me, I
packed all my belongings and I was about to leave for
my father‘s house, when he stopped me, and started
15
begging. He pleaded with me not to go, but I left. The
next day he came to my father‘s house at Ozuoba to
plead with my parents and my kinsmen, to assist him to
ask for forgiveness from me. My kinsmen then called me
and said; ―your husband is here for you so you people
can go home, whatever he has done to you, please
forgive him, he has promised not to repeat it‖. Then I
accepted, and my people took all the required items from
him, for taking me back.
Question: It is like you do not want to tell us the offence
he committed against you that made you to leave?
Response: Laughter…. No forget it. It is personal.
Question: When you were in your father‘s house did you
attend Church?
Response: Yes
Question: Which Church did you attend then?
Response: The Anglican Church in Ozuoba
Question: When you got married to Ekwueme does he go
to Church?
Response: No he doesn‘t go to Church.
Question: But did he allow you to go to Church in his
house after marriage?
16
Response: Yes, I also had my confirmation while I was
married to him, but at a later age he started going to
Church.
Question: Nene, I would like you to tell us how life was
in your days as a Child, especially how people related
with their parents then.
Response: Yes then and now are not the same at all. In
our days a man could pick up a child who is not his
biological child and train or caution him/her without any
attack from the parents or the child in question. But now,
one won‘t dare it. You either receive an abuse from the
child or the parents.
Question: Nene in your time was there anything like folk
stories (story telling moment) between father and child or
mother and child?
Response: Yes, I had such experience with my father,
during the dry season to be specific. My father use to
take me to his ceremonial hut where we lighted fires and
roasted dry corn with pear, while my father entertained
us with stories. He also used the opportunity to assess
each one of us in terms of reasoning, and intelligence. He
always admired my conduct. One regular comment he
always made at such moments was that my behaviour
was in line with the name he gave me ―Chituru‖
17
Question: What procedures did you adopt in discussions
with your father? Was there a day set aside for it or was
it triggered by an event?
Response: Actually there was no specific day set aside
for discussions, rather due to the closeness that existed
between me and my father, one discussion led to another.
That was how he used to tell me things about himself and
the community.
Question: You will agree with me that there are parents
that do not have the time to discuss with their children
and it does not occur to them that there is something they
are depriving their children of. So how is it that your
father always found time to gist with you?
Response: I think it was due to my character or
behaviour that made him enjoy going into conversation
with me. Also anytime I did something he did not like he
said it and I apologized immediately, and that settles it.
Question: Since you got married to Ekwueme, I believe
you met his parents, and you people were living together.
What do you have to say about them?
Response: Actually, I did not meet Ekwueme‘s mother
rather his eldest sister who assumed their mothers
position in their house.
18
Question: What has been your experience in Ekwueme‘s
family. Do you have a child?
Response: Yes I have five children. And my first son‘s
name is Wodi, though my real first son died, Wodi has
replaced him now.
Question: Did he die as a child?
Response: No, he died as full grown man.
Question: Between him and his father who died first?
Response: He died first; his father was still much alive
when he died. His name is Worokonwo. Wodi is his
immediate junior.
Question: Ever since your husband died how did you
manage to train your children?
Response: Farm work; that was what I used to train all
my children. What I did was to be farming for other
people for money to support their education while my
own farm served for their feeding.
Question: So that means at the time Wodi gained
admission into the university, he was fatherless?
Response: Yes, his father had died long before then.
Question: Those your own farms that you cultivated,
how did you obtain the farmlands
19
Question: I rented the farmlands. By then I used to rent
farmlands from Aluu people every year. I thank God for
everything.
Question: On a certain day Owhipa women had a
dancing occasion. One man observed that you are a great
dancer. How did you learn it?
Response: In my adolescent days at Ozuoba, we had a
dancing group of which I was a member. Someone
taught us how to dance and we made our appearance
occasionally especially during the Akpor New Yam
festival. I also participated in another famous traditional
Ikwerre dance called ―Eregbu‖.
Question: This famous Akpor New Yam festival, please
tell us about it.
Response: You see, that day is usually a special day.
Numerous dancers and dancing groups were always
invited. We danced for days but here in Choba, I did not
see any dance group rather what I saw was great
masquerades.
Question: Does the festival have any meaningful
contribution to the well-being of the community?
Response: Yes oh! It promotes unity in the community,
people associate freely in the community. No fear of
being killed.
20
Question: What is your advice for the young men and
women of these days?
Response: All I have to say is that they should put up
good character and behaviour especially the ladies. They
should get married because a woman without a husband
has no regard in the community. They should adhere to
the advice of their parents.
Nene ended up the interactive session with a song (Eri
yaa weh:)
Nene with the children of her brother Gbati (31st
Dec., 2020)
21
In the words of Solomon Ikegwuru … ―The people here
are the children of late Chief Macauley Ikegwuru of
Ozuoba Akpor, led by my humble self. We have come to
visit and share moments of joy with our auntie, our
father‘s bosom sister, Mrs Janet Okocha nee Ikegwuru.
We are happy to be here. Our auntie Nene is a noble
women. We are happy to be with her and we admire her
fresh looks. Truly, she has peace of mind and we are
thankful to God for preserving her life and also making it
possible for us to visit her today. It is indeed gladdening
to see her in good health of mind and body.
We are also thankful to her son, our brother Rufus for
being so caring to his mother. Truly, it is not necessary to
commend him for performing his obligations. But it is
wise to applaud and commend noble acts at a time that so
many have taken to unwholesome acts. Some get so
uncomfortable with caring for the elderly and even their
parents so much so that they send them to the old
people‘s home. But here is our brother Wodi, living so
joyously with his mother in his house. We are thankful to
you dear Rufus and we commend your mindset of love.
We are also thankful to your lovely wife, Choice, who
also extended her love for you to your mother, our dear
auntie.
22
Nene with children of Gbati
Nene with Solomon Ikegwuru
23
Truly, the wife is the authentic support that has enabled
Rufus to accord our auntie this due care. Our prayer is
that God will continue to bless them and grant them and
their children good health, peace and joy. We also pray
that their own children would accord them such lovely
care in time of their old age. The grace of longevity
which God granted the Ikegwuru lineage will also be
evidenced in the life of Rufus and his family‖.
Question: What actually informed this special
relationship that has lingered even after the demise of
your father?
Answer: Our father had many brothers and sisters but
this our auntie remains very precious to us. She was our
father‘s closest sibling. Actually they were pals. There is
nothing she cannot do for our father. And she was always
defending our father. As far as she is concerned, our
father did no wrong. However she would go behind to
scold him for any wrong act. But in the public, she would
always defend him. And we saw all that as we grew up
This comment and question was directed to a grandson,
Master Francis Solomon; ―my dear we are talking about
lifestyles and actions that enthrone love and communal
cohabitation amongst siblings, family members and
relatives. As a grandson, what does the event of today
mean to you?‖
24
Answer: There is need for unity and love within every
family. Although it may have been a long time but
whenever we gather joy and goodwill fill our hearts. And
so I am grateful to God that I am here to partake of this
interaction. It is a joyous experience indeed. I have a
lovely experience to share with my siblings too.
Question to Elder Solomon Ikegwuru, Leader of the
family of late chief Macauley Ikegwuru (Gbati): ―My
brother, as leader of the family of Gbati, how do you
sustain this unity amidst the threats of wrongful acts of
your siblings?‖
Answer: Truly, this gathering depicts the presence of
harmony. It also testifies to the fact that we are relating
very well. As our auntie related cordially with our father,
so also we want to relate with each other. But more
importantly, the event of today refreshes the memories of
the joy of harmony and peaceful life by which our father
lived with her sister. This memory is therefore an object
of learning that enhances our own lifestyle in this regard.
25
The following interactive session with Nene revealed
the love that existed between her and the elder
brother, Chief Macauley Ikegwuru
Question: ―Nene, the children of your elder brother Gbati
came today to visit you. How does it feel?‖
Answer: ―My heart is filled with joy today at the
presence of the children of my brother, Gbati. Gbati was
truly loving elder brother. I am the last among my
mother‘s children. He actually took good care of me.
Question: How was your relationship with him in your
youthful days.
Answer: It was so marvellous that words cannot express.
The moments of joy we shared always prompted me into
singing songs in expression of my happiness and he
always admired my songs. At leisure moments he would
request me to sing my songs and as I sang, our moment
of joy became much livelier. I am really thankful that his
children came today to visit me and to share this moment
of joy with me in my life time. I pray God to bless them.
They have enlivened the joyous memories of the
moments I had with my brother. I cannot quantify the joy
they have re-enacted in my heart today. I pray God to
bless them and their families and also grant them long
life and good health.
26
Question: How can the people of the modern times learn
to live in the lovely ways that their parents lived?
Answer: Truly, I loved my elder brother and we lived
cordially. I pray that our children should live in lovely
relationship with each other and that God will grant them
long life. They should make efforts to be happy with
each other.
27
CHAPTER FOUR
The “Ovu aka ha” feat
Introduction
The Ovu aka ha ceremony is actually a noble customary
event of the people of the Ikwere ethnic nation of
Nigeria. It is studded with a series of customary activities
structured to celebrate the relationship of a man or
woman with his/her maternal kinsmen and relatives.
Although the Ikwere culture bequests all indigenous
rights and privileges of an individual to the patrimonial
background, certain customary observances still exist to
assert the place of maternal kinsmen in the life of the
individual. By the performance of this ceremony, these
observances are strengthened in favour of the individual.
And so the Ovu aka ha ceremony is actually a feat
performed to honour one‘s maternal kinsmen, and to
assert the high regard accorded them for their
contributions to the life of the individual through his/her
mother, their precious daughter. Truly, the Ovu Aka ha
feat is an obligatory rite but no person is compelled to
perform it while he/she lives. This is because it
absolutely depends on the volition of the individual. But
failure to perform same within the life time makes it
obligatory at death. The right of burial then depends on
the consent of the maternal kinsmen, which can only be
obtained by the performance of the Ovu Aka ha.
28
Actually, the apex of this ceremony was originally
symbolised in the presentation of the hands (Aka) of the
first animal that the individual kills in his hunting
expedition, to his maternal kinsmen. But in order to befit
the realities of current times this custom has however
transformed to a full sized goat and currently, a cow. The
philosophy and procedural observance of the Ovu Aka ha
feat has however remained intact while the changes only
pertain to the symbolic object of presentation.
A joyous event indeed, this honour of Ovu aka ha to ones
maternal kinsmen is also reciprocated as certain
customary elements of the ceremony require the kinsmen
to host the individual with special dishes/entertainment ,
and to adorn him/her with special wears as he returns to
his paternal home. A historic feat indeed, persons who
occupy major positions in the genealogical trail of the
individual are also invited to participate in the ceremony.
Nene’s Ovu aka ha ceremony
Introduction
When Mrs. Janet Okocha and her entourage arrived the
Owhor Wegwu family on that fateful 10 th day of January,
2005, she was hosted by Elder Steven Owhor JP, who by
due consent represents Chief Clement Owhor, the head
and leader of the Owhor Wegwu-Wokanma family unit.
29
The maternal genealogy of Mrs Janet Okocha (Nee
Ikegwuru) indicate that she is the grand-daughter of Ada
Worga, the wife of Owhor Wegwu
– Wokanma of blessed memory,
who Owhor Wegwu married from
the Rumukpalikwu lineage of
Rumumanyaikpokwu. Her mother
Late Mrs Aleru Ikegwuru (Nee
Wegwu), the first daughter of Late
Owhor Wegwu, was married to
Late Mrs Aleru
Late Ikegwuru Chindah of the Ikegwuru (Nee Wegwu)
Nene’s mother
Rumuchukwuwanyia
family,
Ozuoba – Akpor, the family home of Janet. During her
life time, Aleru reigned as Ada Wegwu
Nene‘s
love
for
Rumuwegwu
enclave
and
Rumumanyaikpokwu generally drove her to enlist as a
member of the Rumurinya Rumuwegwu Women
Association. And so she relates with Rumuuwegwu as
her maternal kinsmen as well as their sister. She also
enjoys the rights and privileges of this dual capacity.
By virtue of her efforts for the wellbeing of her maternal
kinsmen, the Rumuwegwus declared Mrs Janet Sunday
Okocha (Nee Ikegwuru) the Ada Wegwu of our time.
And so like her mother, Late Mrs Aleru Ikegwuru, Mrs
Janet Okocha occupies the position of Ada Wegwu and
she enjoys the rights and privileges of the position.
30
In recognition of the historic significance of the Ovu aka
ha ceremony and in accordance with the associated
customary practice, Nene liaised with the Owhor Wegwu
family, being the nuclear family of her mother (N‘ha
ochibi Isaka), to invite the Rumukpalikwu lineage, led
by Chief Sam E. Wiche JP, and particularly the Woga
family, the family home of her grandmother Ada Woga,
led by Elder Levi Chuku, to witness the performance of
the heroic Ovu aka ha feat by their daughter‘s daughter,
Mrs Janet Okocha (Nee Ikegwuru). The two family
leaders were present all through the ceremony.
Nene’s comments
Announcing her arrival at the preliminary hosting
organised by Elder Steven Owhor JP on behalf of the
Owhor Wegwu family, Nene expressed pride at the
custom whereby she would receive fantastic treatments
as she moves from one family unit to the other. Nene
explained that while planning this feat, she had prayed
the Almighty God to guide and preserve the persons who
would accompany her as well as those she was planning
to visit. Nene recalled that the performance of the Ovu
aha ha feat had been a childhood dream. As a little girl,
curiosity and the quest for knowledge had led her to
discover from her mother that the Ovu aka ha feat is
customarily mandatory on every indigene of Ikwere. She
31
also discovered that if
any adult man or woman
fails to perform the rite
while alive, the survivors
would perform it on
his/her behalf before
burial. Nene also reported
that her mother Aleru
further explained that the
joy of participating in the
activity makes the feat
better performed while
the individual is alive.
Mrs Janet Okocha reported that by the way her mother
sounded and coupled with the superior reasoning in
performing the Ovu aka ha rite while one is alive, she
resolved to perform the ceremony while alive. More so,
the event is an honour to her maternal kinsmen, the
people of Ndudor who she loves so much. She however
treasured this resolve in her heart until she got married,
had her children and her beloved first son became of age.
When she intimated him of this noble yearning of her
heart, Eric her beloved son promised to ensure that her
desire is fulfilled. Regretfully, death struck and snatched
him away. The hope of performing the Ovu aka ha
ceremony was lost. In the words of Nene, with prayers
and supplications, the Lord revealed that hope is still
32
alive. ―No wonder my God is Okwu eme. When Wodi
became a little handy, I intimated him of this desire of
my heart and he immediately gave his consent and
promised to fulfil it for me‖.
Mrs Janet Okocha further explained that although the
ceremony had been postponed twice because of
unfortunate incidents that arose to interfere with the
schedules, in her words ―to the glory of God, the
Ndudors are in peace and good health. And so I
requested them to grant me the opportunity to perform
this ceremony to cement my love for my maternal
kindred. I love them and they also love me. Whatever
they want to do they would always invite me and they
would grant me the rights due my mother as Ada
Wegwu. Even though the Rumumanyaikpokwus
specified a goat as the symbolic object of the Ovu aka ha
ceremony, my son Wodi preferred to use a cow since a
goat would be too mean for the people of Ndudor‖.
33
Comments of Elder Steven Owhor JP
As chief host of
the
reception
organised
for
Nene by the
Owhor Wegwu
family,
Elder
Steven Owhor
(JP) thanked the
almighty God for
making
the
celebration
of
this day a reality
and
for
the
opportunity of noble reflections on historic affairs. He
stated that Nene‗s mother, Aleru Wegwu was the first
daughter of Wegwu Wokanma. And her grandmother,
Ada Ikwunga Worga of the Rumukpalikwu enclave, was
the first wife (Ogbotu Nwere) of Wegwu Wokanma.
Nene has much love for her maternal kinsmen, the
Rumuwegwus and Rumumanyaikpokwu. She is always
here with us and she partakes in every event, sharing in
our moments of joy and sorrow. By performing the Ovu
aka ha feat, an honour to her maternal kinsmen, Nene has
elevated the status of the Owhor Wegwu family, the
Rumuwegwu and Ndudor community. We pray God to
grant her long life and good health.
34
This reception is the customary first stage of the Ovu
Aka ha ceremony. On behalf of Chief Clement Owhor
and the Owhor family, the nuclear family of Aleru
Wegwu I hereby welcome Mrs Janet Okocha on the Ovu
Aka ha mission. I thank the people of Owhipa her marital
home for their support and presence. By this honour done
the
Owhor
family,
the
Rumuwegwu
and
Rumumanyaikokwu generally, the Lord will bless Mrs.
Janet Okocha and grant her long life, good health and
more wealth to her children and the will to continue to
take good care of her.
Chief Adolphus Owhor’s comments
Welcoming the guests to
the famous Wegwu
Wokanma
hall,
the
venue of the ceremony,
Chief Adolphus Owhor,
the Interim Leader of
Rumumanyaikpokwu
explained that the Ovu
aka ha ceremony is a
joyous and historical
Chief Adolphus Owhor
event that does not occur rampantly. The irregularity of
occurrence, he noted, is not because many persons lack
the requisite resources for the celebration. But it is a lack
35
of the will to love and elevate a mother or father as well
as a lack of the will to honour one‘s maternal kinsmen:
And so he commended Mrs Janet Okocha, the Ada
Wegwu of our time and her children, led by Mr Rufus
Okocha, for performing this historic ceremony in honour
of the people of Ndudor. Chief Adolphus Owhor
explained that when Mrs Janet Okocha and her children
intimated the Owhor Wegwu family of the intention to
celebrate the customary Ovu aka ha ceremony, the
Owhor Wegwu family unit summoned the Rumuwegwu
lineage who in turn summoned the Rumumanyaikpokwu
community the actual benefactors of the Ovu aka ha rites
and honours. The stage was thus set for the successful
performance of the celebration.
Thanking the almighty God for preserving the life of
Chief
Clement
Owhor,
the
leader
of
Rumumanyaikpokwu and enabling him to participate in
the ceremony in good health, Chief Adolphus Owhor
prayed the good Lord to bless Nene and grant her
children opportunities of honour in their life endeavours.
Mrs Janet Okocha Presenting the cow to Rumumanyaikpokwu
36
After examining the cow and other accompaniments for
the Ovu aka ha feat, the Ndudor Council of Chiefs
certified all the materials adequate for the ceremony. The
following members of Ndudor Council of Chiefs were
present at the event;
1) Chief Clement Owhor – Head and leader of
Rumumanyaikpokwu
2) Chief Adolphus Owhor – Interim leader of
Rumumanyaikpokwu
3) Chief Sam E. Wiche – Leader of Rumukpalikwu
lineage
4) Chief John Worlu – Leader of Mini lineage
Chief Clement Owhor Observing the event
The Council prayed the almighty God to grant Mrs Janet
Okocha the grace of long life and good health and to
bless her children so that they would continue to take
good care of her. There was plenty to eat and drink and
every person was satisfactorily entertained.
37
At the right point in time Nene expressed her joy in her
usual admirable dance steps as she danced to the rhythms
of famous Ikwerre music makers whose songs were
made available for the entertainment of the guests. The
people of Ndudor and the guests also joined Nene in the
dance session; spraying money on her in admiration of
the day‘s event.
Nene in dance session
38
At the end of the event Nene explained that a state of
fullness of joy pervades her soul as a result of the love
that she has for the people of Ndudor which her maternal
kinsmen also reciprocate. This love, she noted, has been
enlivened and sealed by the Ovu aka ha ceremony. She
thanked the Chiefs, elders and youths of Ndudor for
giving her the opportunity to express this love through
the fulfilment of her long standing desire to perform the
Ovu aka ha feat in her life time. While thanking her
maternal kinsmen for the honour done her, Nene
expressed the desire to still relate with the people of
Rumumanyaikpokwu in this capacity if the almighty God
grants the opportunity of reincarnation.
The most memorable and celebrative phase of the Ovu
aka ha feat is the return of the celebrant to her home.
This aspect witnessed the customary adornment of the
celebrant with expensive and quality clothe by her
maternal kinsmen and the excursion to her home amidst
songs and dances and in an atmosphere of pump and
pageantry. And so after days of joyous stay with her
maternal kinsmen amidst rounds of entertainment as she
moved from one family unit to the other, Mrs Janet
Okocha was escorted to her husband‘s home, the Okocha
family of Owhipa Choba in accordance with the full
customary fanfare that pervades occasions of this nature.
She was duly beautified with the befitting regalia for a
noble achiever and an entourage of friends relatives and
39
well-wishers joined the people of Rumumanyaikpokwu
to escort the Ada Wegwu to the Okocha family, Owhipa
Choba. The air waves also announced this final phase of
Nene‘s Ovu aka ha feat. Numerous cannon gun shots
were fired amidst songs and dances as Nene and her
entourage made their way from Ndudor to Owhipa.
The cannon shots served as the customary announcement
of the performance of a heroic feat by a noble daughter
of the land. It also served to symbolize the exalted status
of a noble achiever which Mrs Janet Okocha has attained
in the society.
On arrival at the Okocha family of Owhipa Choba, Mrs
Janet Okocha and her children declared a merry session.
The entertainment was lavish. There was plenty to eat
and drink. The people of Ndudor, and the friends,
relatives and well-wishers of Nene were lavishly
entertained. The Ikwerre music makers were also on
hand to present befitting songs and drum beats that left
every person rejoicing and dancing. Nene also treated her
guests to the usual admirable dance steps for which the
Ada Wegwu is noted. Her maternal kinsmen and
relatives responded with a galore of gifts and cash
presentations.
In expression of his joy for the success of the ceremony,
Mr. Rufus Okocha, Nene‘s first son and chief host of the
event, went the extra mile to present gifts to the Chiefs,
40
elders
and
generality
of
the
people
of
Rumumanyaikpokwu. They all received fathoms of cloth
in addition to other gifts as objects of appreciation in
memory of Nene‘s Ovu aka ha ceremony. It was truly a
memorable day.
Comments by Nene Relatives
Chief Mathew Woke Igwe Elenwo
In the wordsof Chief
Mathew
Igwe
Elenwo my mother
Mrs Wadna Igwe
(Nee
Chindah
Wagbara) was a
bosom sister of
Chief
Ikegwuru
Chindah of Ozuoba
– Akpor . Ikegwuru Chindah married Ada Wegwu
Wokanma from the Rumumanyaikpokwu (Ndudor)
Choba and Mrs Janet Okocha (Nee Ikegwuru) is one
precious daughter of that marriage. When Wonsirim
Okocha wanted to marry Janet, my mother facilitated the
marriage and we have remained loving relatives. I knew
Janet from childhood because I visit the Ikegwuru
Chindah family, my maternal home regularly. Nene has
41
remained a very loving sister of mine till date. That is
why she invited me when she celebrated the Ovu Aka ha
rite at Ndudor, her maternal home.
I thank God that Nene has heaved a sigh of relief after
years of toiling in farm work as she laboured to train her
children as a single parent after the early demise of her
husband. I pray God to continue to keep her in good
health and to continue to bless her children so that they
would keep taking good care of her because she suffered
so much.
Chief Woke Amadichikwu of Ozuoba
Nene is the daughter
of
Ikegwuru
Chindah the great
farmer who was also
the
leader
of
Rumuchukwuwanyia
lineage. At the death
of Ikegwuru, Sunday
Chukwu took over
the
headship
function. At the demise of Sunday the leadership of the
enclave fell on me, Chief Woke Amadichukwu.
Actually, a worthy person is someone who has regard for
seniors and respect for elders. Janet Okocha and her age
42
mates were not known for rascality. They were not
disrespectful. They were rather preoccupied with jovial
lifestyle. And so they had no time for unwholesome
attitudes.
In Ikwere custom, you gain knowledge and wisdom by
interacting with elders. And only a respectful and humble
person can have the opportunity of interaction with
elders. Nene was a wise and noble mannered young girl
before she got married to Wonsirim Okocha of Owhipa,
Choba. And since her marriage to Wonsirim we have not
heard any news of wrong behaviour about her. We have
always been proud of her because she is a worthy
daughter of Rumuchukwuwanyia lineage.
At the time of our youth, we had the Anglican (CMS)
Church, the African church, which was the church of the
Aros, and later the Native Authority church was
established. Today we have so many churches but evils
keep multiplying. Nene was a member of the Anglican
church before her marriage. And she was an example of
a good girl.
43
Chief Sam E. Wiche JP
The
Rumumanyaikpokwu
community is in a
joyous
and
celebrative
mode
today because a
noble daughter has
come to perform the
heroic Ovu Aka ha
feat.
Mrs
Janet
Okocha
(Nee
Ikegwuru) is indeed a
noble daughter of
Rumumanyaikokwu.
Her mother Aleru
Wegwu was the Ada Wegwu, being the first daughter of
the famous Wegwu Wokanma of blessed memory.
Aleru‘s mother, the first wife (Ogbotu nwere) of Wegwu
Wokanma, the Ada Ikwunga Worga, of the
Rumukpalikwu royal family, was also a very able and
respected woman of fame. Because of her outstanding
love for Rumuwegwu family and the generality of
Rumumanyaikpokwu, Mrs. Janet Okocha was crowned
the Ada Wegwu of our time. This is the same noble
position that her mother Aleru Wegwu also occupied in
the Wegwu enclave.
44
On behalf of Rumukpalikwu, her maternal foundation,
we commend the exalted royal genealogical status that
she has been divinely accorded and we also commend the
attributes of wisdom, intelligence and capacity for hard
work that Nene possessed, which enabled her to train her
children even as a single parent. We also thank God for
granting her the joy of a good life through the blessings
bestowed on her children. We pray God to grant her long
life and good health and to continue to bless her children
so that they would continue to take good care of her.
Elder Chief Levi Chuku
Today I represent the
Ikwunga family unit of
Rumukpalikwu, the family
home of Ada Ikwunga Woga,
the grandmother of Mrs Janet
Okocha. Truly, today is a day
of joy because the Ovu Aka
ha feat is a joyous event. It
has attracted relatives and it
is an opportunity to recall the
relationship that exists amongst individuals and the
associated memories. I am happy to be part of this
memorable event and I encourage every person to
perform the rite while alive. I thank God for the life of
45
our sister Janet Okocha and I pray God to grant her long
life and good health.
Chief John Worlu
The Ovu aka ha event of
today is a memorable
one. This is because we
have not witnessed a
sister honour us to such a
large scale and with so
much love in recent
times. I reason that this
action is informed by the
fact that Mrs Janet
Okocha is blessed with traits of nobility and wealth in
her genealogy. Her mother hails from a noble and
wealthy family. She got married into a noble and wealthy
family and God granted her noble and wealthy children.
We thank God for granting her the opportunity to honour
her maternal kinsmen with the Ovu aka ha ceremony. It
is gainful to perform the ceremony while one is alive. I
pray God to grant her long life and good health and to
continue to bless her and her children as well as
ourselves her maternal kinsmen.
46
CHAPTER FIVE
The Glorious mother coronation
Introduction
Nene woke up this
morning with an elated
and joyous outlook.
Soon
after,
her
daughters and daughters
in law gathered in
company
of
some
women of the Okocha
family of Owhipa Choba singing her favourite songs and
dancing, while her daughters in law were busy decorating
and adorning her to befit the famous event of the day,
being the Glorious motherhood coronation.
The songs include:
1) Jesus b‘okwu eme wee
Nye keru owa b‘okwu eme
Okwule oz‘ eme wee
Meaning
-
Jesus is the one that says and it comes to pass
Once Jesus has said it
It is done
Whatever he says
47
He does
2) Nwunye digi megidewo gi
Mee ka imagi
Imene ka imatala
Okwu aputala
Owhuru uka tinye onu
Ya etinye otu pam
Meaning
-
When your neighbour decides to cheat you
Pretend that you do not notice
If you show that you notice
Problems would arise
Once conflict arises
Money would be spent
3) A z‘eji kini kela nda
Nne Nne Nne oma
A z‘eyisi Nne n‘ekpere
Nne Nne Nne oma
A z‘akanu Nda n‘omenem
Nne Nne Nne oma
Meaning
What do we use to thank God
For such a noble mother
48
We shall pray for her
We shall thank God
For giving us a worthy mother
While they sang and danced, Nene joined them,
chorusing those melodious tunes of hers.
Interaction with Nene
While the songs and dances lasted, Nene suddenly started
wiping tears, then
Question: Nene, are you crying?
Answer: Truly I never
knew that God is so
good. I do not know
what I did to deserve
so much favour from
God. Last time I was
greatly honoured by
my
beloved
Rumumanyaikpokwu
maternal kinsmen and women. And today I am receiving
another great honour from the house of God, the Holy
Trinity Anglican Church, Choba. This favour is truly
49
unimaginable. I cannot express the joy in my heart with
words of mouth. I am so grateful to God.
Question: Please tell us the details because you look like
a new bride today.
Answer: This is more than a new bride. I am a super
bride today because the church will crown me a glorious
mother. When they brought the information to me, I
queried whether I merit such honour when I am not
educated and I cannot preach the Bible. They surprised
me by telling me that it is not dependent on education.
That by my lifestyle, I merit to be so honoured. They told
me that my commitment in the church and my lifestyle
qualified me for the honour. They encouraged me to
invite my children and loved ones to share the moment of
joy in the presence of God. I am so thankful to God.
Truly, this God is so wonderful. He has shown me his
wonderful goodness and miracles. I kept praying to God
while I laboured in the farms of my fellow women,
weeding grass from Monday to Saturday in order to feed
my children. I am thankful to God that he has answered
my prayers. Today God is adding extra blessing on me
through this honour. Let his name be glorified, Amen.
50
At the church
Welcoming Mrs Janet
Okocha to the premises of
Holy Trinity Anglican
Church, Choba, Mrs Irene
Wali thanked God for the
coronation ceremony and
for the noticeable beauty
of his precious daughter,
Nene the glorious mother
Mrs Janet Okocha on this day of her coronation as a
Glorious mother.
Irene explained that Nene is one of the mothers who the
younger generation of the mothers union of the church
rely upon as touch bearers of Christian motherhood. She
has remained committed and dedicated to the work of the
Lord as a mother in the church. That is why it was
unanimously decided that the church should honour her
as a Glorious mother.
Question: But Nene observed that she is not educated.
Answer: Yes, even though
she is not educated in the
sense of western education,
she heard and internalised
the word of God through
the native Ikwerre language
with which she was taught.
51
Nene with Mrs Irene Wali
At the right point in time, the leader of the women group
in Holy Trinity Anglican Church, Choba coronated Mrs
Janet Okocha a glorious mother. In her words, ―mama
Mrs Janet Okocha, today, on this Easter Sunday of the
year, 2009, you are a Glorious mother of Niger Delta
North Anglican Communion, coronated at the Holy
Trinity Anglican Church, Choba in the name of God the
father, God the son, and God the Holy Spirit, Amen‖
In a speech at the
coronation ceremony,
her son, Mr Rufus
Okocha noted that if
his wife and mother
were in a drowning
boat and he had the
chance to save only
one person, he would
rather
save
his The coronation of glorious motherhood
mother. Rufus explained that his decision is informed by
the fact that if he lost his mother, he would not be able to
have another mother. But if he lost his wife, he can marry
another wife. A mother he noted, has irreplaceable
position of importance in one‘s life. Speaking further,
Rufus stated, ―today I am very happy to see my mother
elevated to the status of a Glorious mother in the church.
Twenty nine years ago, she lost her first son. I am not her
first son. She almost lost her own life because of that
52
incident. Today I am here and we are all here rejoicing
with her that she is alive receiving this honour that is
being bestowed on her. I thank God for he has been
guiding me and everybody around me up to today‖.
Rufus then provided handsome support for the
development of the church. He also used the opportunity
to enjoin the church to sustain the music of Mrs. Irene
Wali. . This music he noted has become the major tool of
evangelisation in the Ikwere ethnic nation of Nigeria.
Irene he noted, applies her endowments in music to
testify to the almightiness of God and the abundant
goodness that people can derive by worshiping the most
high and only true God. More importantly, Irene presents
these gospel messages in melodious musical tunes and
traditional Ikwere drum beats and rhythms that reveal the
glorious presence of God within the cultural practices of
the people.
General comments of Nene’s children
Rufus Okocha
Our mum is a mother in a
million. She suffered so much,
labouring to nurture and train us
to become what we are today. I
mentioned in the church that her
first son died 29 years ago. She
almost died the day she lost her
53
first son. But by the grace of God she was able to
survive. She also tried both in menial labour and
maternal care to ensure that her children also survived.
Seven years after the death of her first son another
calamity befell her and she lost her husband, my beloved
father, Elder Gabriel Wonsirim Okocha. Our mother
engaged in menial labour, undertaking farm jobs for
people just to make sure that we had food to eat. Her love
for the family remained intact and she kept praying God
to preserve and sustain her children. I feel so fulfilled
today that her prayers all these years have been answered
and her desires actualised and crowned with this honour
of a Glorious mother. This honour is not ordinary. It
came as a result of her hard work, perseverance, patience
and the attributes of a good mother which she lavishes on
both her biological children grand and great
grandchildren here in Nigeria and abroad as well as every
person that comes in contact with her.
Question: Someone observed that her son, Rufus actually
―masqueraded‖ goodwill, giving costly cloths to every
person in the church during the coronation.
Answer: That is just my nature. I just wished to express
my feelings about my mother.
Question: And you had to express this maternal love to
so many mothers?
54
Answer: Yes. You must express goodwill joyously and
as much as you are moved. By the concept of what goes
around comes around, you do not grudge or be too
economical in giving because when you do good to
others, the almighty God will also remember you and
replenish your pockets too. It has been happening like
that in my life. I give thanks to the almighty God for the
wonderful event of today. I also pray God to grant her
many more years to stay with her children, grandchildren
and great grandchildren. May the Lord also grant her joy,
good health and all goodness. A good woman indeed,
Nene my mother does not bear grudges. Truly, my
mother bears the mark of a great soul.
Few years ago, nobody would have imagined that she
could be so honoured. This is because she was a no body,
so to say. But by the wonderful and infinite grace of
God, her children were uplifted including my humble self
for which I remain grateful to God for empowering me to
be able to sustain the family as well as the ability to raise
my younger siblings to the status they have attained
today
55
Mrs Comfort Wada Ogbonda
I am the first daughter
of Mrs, Janet Okocha.
My mother has been a
noble woman, hard
working and caring
mother from her days
as a young mother.
The wellbeing of her
children remains a
subject of paramount
importance to her. She
has had to starve
herself severally and
also denied herself the
things of merry in life just to make sure that her children
do not lack. She toiled tirelessly as a single parent to
train her children. And one special thing about her is that
no matter the level of suffering she undergoes she still
remains happy every moment. She even uses her singing
and dancing skill to extend the happy mood to every
person that comes her way. I pray God to keep her alive
and in good health and continue to bless her children so
that she would reap the fruits of her labour.
56
Emma Wopuru Okocha
I am happy that my mother is
one of those honoured by the
church as a Glorious Mother. In
truth my mother, Mrs. Janet
Okocha, merits this honour
because she has been a good
mother to her children. And
now that we are married, she
continues to be a loving and
caring mother
Mrs. Favour Wobiareri Chukwu
We are glad with our mother and
we rejoice with her on the
coronation of Glorious Mother on
her by the church. We thank God
for the loving woman He gave to
us as our mother. We pray God to
continue to keep her alive and
healthy so that she would continue
to reap the fruits of her labour
through the joy of living with her children, grandchildren
and great grandchildren, Amen.
57
Mrs. Choice Okocha
Truly, my mother-in-law is
an exceptional person. She is
loving and caring to a fault.
When I was younger, I used
to hear that mother in laws
are so worrisome and
wicked and they fail to live
in peace and harmony with
their daughters in law. But
my mother-in-law, Mrs. Janet Okocha, is different and so
a good mother in law. I pray God to continue to keep her
alive and in good health because she is yet to start
enjoying the benefits of her labours.
Emma’s Wife, Mrs. Faith Okocha
We are actually very happy to
celebrate my mother in law today
because she is a very nice woman.
My mother in law, Mrs Janet Okocha
is very caring and loving. Most
ladies tell stories of their wicked
mothers in law and they vow never
to associate with the mothers of their
58
husbands, but mine is such a lovely and caring woman.
She is like a mother to me and she readily undertakes to
take care of my son. She is the type of woman I prayed to
have as mother in law. So when I met her, I affirmed that
God has answered my prayers. I pray that God will keep
her alive and in good health so that she would live to
bless my grandson.
59
CHAPTER SIX
Memoirs of Janet Okocha
Wife Battering
A victim of wife
battering,
Nene
perceives her ordeals
in life in this regard as
an attempt by the evil
one to desecrate her
relationship with her
God and to deny her
the crown of glory. She noted that the enemy actually
attempted to use her husband to tempt her to develop ill
wills against him, abandon her marital home and her
children and eventually lose the status of a noble mother.
With the joy of victory over the evil one, Nene hereby
presents her experience in this regard as an object of
instruction to younger mothers. She desires to equip
them with the understanding to withstand and overcome
the tricks of the evil one. And so talking from an
experience, Nene described wife battering as the
“punching bag syndrome”. That it is a situation
whereby the husband sees the wife as a punch bag when
they get angered – inflicting injuries on her body. Some
men even vent the anger that may have been aroused by
factors outside the home on the wife. Any minor
60
provocation or misunderstanding with the wife could
easily arouse and activate a deadly level of anger and the
woman becomes the object on which the husband vents
his anger through irrational iron - fisted punches. Most
disheartening she noted is the fact that this is the man
you have chosen to marry because you love him.
Obviously, you tend to wonder how the love he claims he
has for you can grow so sour, turning into hatred such
that he derives satisfaction by hurting you.
And so, reflecting on her experience of the ―punchingbag syndrome‖, Nene recalled how she soliloquized,
seeking answers to the following;
-
Does the injury my husband inflicts on me
actually make him happy?
Does the manly punches he unleashed on me
relieve any psychological imbalance arising from
the animosity that he has built up?
Somehow you also wonder whether he actually requires
injuring you as to revive the love he had for you as his
wife. Truly, none of these conditions bring satisfaction to
an aggrieved man. The reality, Nene asserted is that if a
wife performs any wrongful act that could anger the
husband, it is by being merciful and forgiving that the
anger is dismissed and he would regain satisfaction with
her and a joyful heart for himself.
61
Like it is said, love overcomes all things. No wonder,
even amidst scars, injuries and tears arising from my
husband‘s beatings, all my anger disappeared once he
came pleading.
‗But come to think of it,‘ Nene retorted. ‗If a young boy
travels to a strange locality with his elder brother, he
certainly would rely on the elder brother for protection
against any threat. But if the elder brother becomes the
object of threat, the young boy is then exposed to
enormous psychological and emotional harm. This is
because he not only has to contend with fear and
insecurity; he has to absorb the physical injuries
unrestrainedly occasioned by the person whom she relied
upon for protection. The physical injury is accompanied
by the attendant emotional injuries which inevitably
leave permanent scars in the mind of the young boy.
Such scars obviously manifest as lack of trust and hatred
on the elder brother. The memories of which remain ever
fresh, repelling any effort to revive the bond of love
between them.‘
This situation, according to Nene, actually confronts a
battered wife always. Though she makes effort to revive
the love she had for the husband, the physical and
emotional injuries she suffered as a result of the beatings
and aggression-oriented physical punches she received
from her husband remain a constraint to the renewal of
love for her husband. It therefore takes an extraordinary
62
mind-set to have a battered wife duly reconciled in love
with her husband. This is the mind-set of true
motherhood, a noble wife, the virtuous woman, whose
quality is readily highlighted in the scriptures. One
disheartening aspect of the wife battering experience
according to Nene is that sometimes, the issue that
instigate the anger of the husband and the beating of the
wife could be so frivolous and should not have resulted
to misunderstanding in the first place. And when some of
the husbands reflect conscientiously after the act, they
realise that it is a ridiculous display of immaturity.
Erroneously however, not all husbands who engage in
wife battering do realise themselves as to own up such a
mistake and consequently apologise to the wife. Most of
them continue to assert superiority of authority, thereby
aggravating the already endangered relationship. They
eventually end up keeping the instinct of love at bay.
This scenario leaves the couple in a loveless marital
union. In times like this, it is the love of the children that
keeps the woman in the marriage.
Another danger of wife battering is that it is one major
marital problem that exposes a marriage to the
interference of outsiders. Most times the need for succour
and solace may drive an injured woman to complain to
outsiders. A situation where the woman‘s life is under
threat she may have to run to her parents for safety.
Obviously she would explain why she had to come
63
home. If eventually she came home with injuries, the
issue is obviously beyond the limitations of her marital
home. This is because no father would like to expose his
daughter to such beatings and injuries in the name of
marriage. More so such injuries arising from wife
battering are obviously indicative of a broken marriage.
And so the marriage is inevitably exposed to outside
interference.
And so when in my own case, Nene reported, I took my
children to my family home, the Ikegwuru family of
Ozuoba – Akpor, and my husband Wonsirim came
apologising, I had to return to his house, even against the
wish of my parents. Meanwhile I was still nursing the
pains on my left eye and other parts of my body. But I
had to return to his house even with the fresh injuries.
One dimension
of shame and
emotional
trauma of the
wife battering
experience
is
the inability to
associate freely
with
fellow
women.
I
became the talk of the town, especially amongst the
women folk. They saw me as a woman whose love for
64
her husband had so blind folded that she is unable to
recognise the impending danger to her life. To these
women, my kind of love for my husband is foolishness.
They saw me as a woman who would love to the
detriment of her life and they swore never to succumb to
such love. The most emotionally devastating of my
battering experience then happened at Choba market as I
went to sell some items and also buy for the family.
Fellow women gathered, looking at my injured eye and
condemning the cruelty of my husband. They also
announced the foolishness of a wife who returned to the
house of such a man to subject herself to such a
despicable treat. But I smiled at them because they failed
to understand that tomorrow has so much in stock.
Moreso, the more cruelty minded is the woman who
abandons the child of her womb. No wonder the Lord
Jesus Christ wondered whether a woman can abandon
the child of her womb. And realising that the likes of my
fellow women who saw wisdom in such action do exist,
the Lord stated that even though she can, He the Lord
cannot abandon his own children whom he created in his
image.
Can a woman forget the
baby of her breast and not
have compassion on the
child of her womb? Yet
65
though she forgets, I will
never forget you. (Isaiah.
49:15)
Truly, these experiences tended to aggravate the
physical and emotional injuries of my wife battering
experience, but I resolved to forge ahead with my marital
functions in my husband‘s house. This is because my
mind was made up and I held unto that decision because
I abhorred the sight of my children suffering. I never
wished to live the life of a divorcee, leaving my children
to the vagaries of single parenthood or to be nurtured by
a strange woman. And so when my husband came
apologising; kneeling down, crying, begging me and
explaining that he does not know what comes over him
that makes him raise his hands at me. I tried to forbid
him kneeling down before me because I am not God that
someone should kneel to worship. He vowed
conscientiously never to raise his hands at me again.
And when I saw the sincerity in his eyes I had to oblige
by returning to his house to take care of my children and
to continue the task of a loving wife and mother which I
had undertaken to perform in his house.
66
Indeed
wife
battering accords an
express consent to
the interference of
outsiders
into
marital affairs. But
it takes a selfdisciplined
and
resolute mind-set
for any woman to
resist the temptation
to facilitate such
interference.
Nene’s husband, Gabriel Wonsirim Okocha
(AKA Ekwueme)
When a man cultivates the habit of beating his wife, he
diminishes the love that his wife has for him. She also
tends to lose the will to rely on him for her security and
well-being. When a marital union deteriorates to this
level, evidently, the friendly relationship on which the
marital love is hinged has grown sour. It therefore takes a
remorseful mind-set on the side of the man and the will
to make amends without delay. Failure on the part of the
man immediately exposes the woman to the influence of
the suggestions of outsiders. Rather than salvage the
marriage, such external influence aggravates the already
cracked union and eventually pulls the marriage on the
path of total breakdown.
67
Wife battering is therefore an abhorable act with
enormous unwholesome consequences. It erodes the love
that binds a marital union, causes total breakdown of a
marital union and other associated adverse consequences
on the nurturing, upbringing and future well-being of the
children.
My experience reveals that
the life of a mother is fraught
with several stumps and
scars, but the succours that
God preserved for mothers
outweigh the pains of the
scars.
Truly my experience reveals that the life of a mother is
fraught with several stumps and scars, but the succours
that God preserved for mothers outweigh the pains of the
scars. No wonder the Lord said that whosoever endures
to the end receives a bountiful reward which is the crown
of glory for work well done. It is for this reason that I
coined the song; ―Mmam we nu obu a‘ozu onu‖.
Meaning that, I did not know that my situation can be so
good. Truly I never knew that God loves me so much.
Although I kept praying the almighty God to preserve,
protect and sustain me and my children. And as years
rolled by, I managed my life of misery with a joyful
mind set; going for hired labour to weed grass in the
68
farms of fellow women as to earn the money to buy basic
food items to feed my children and to sustain them in
school.
The God of the widow, the God of
the fatherless and the God of
goodness has lifted me up from the
very lowly to the class of kings and
queens. Today I rejoice in
thanksgiving to the almighty God
for his great favour to me
I never actually dreamt that the lowly life could just be a
thing of the past in a short time. It was therefore a
surprise when my beloved son Rufus was able to stand
on his feet, requesting me to stop grass weeding
escapades by providing the needs of the family. The God
of the widow, the God of the fatherless and the God of
goodness has lifted me up from the very lowly to the
class of kings and queens. Today I rejoice in
thanksgiving to the almighty God for his great favour to
me. By this special favour, I was able to fulfil a
childhood desire to perform the Ovu Aka ha feat while
living. Actually, the hope to perform this noble ceremony
in honour of my Manyaikpokwu kinsmen was lost when
I lost my first son Eric. But it pleased God to raise his
69
noble son Rufus to ensure that I perform this honourable
feat. I glorify the Lord.
Truly the Lord has wiped the tears that I shed during the
days of battering, at the death of my son and my
husband, as well as the loss of fatherly support for my
children. Indeed he has wiped the tears that I shed during
the days of single parenthood and as l laboured on
farmlands of other people, jobbing to find sustenance for
the family of Gabriel Okocha. I am a testimony of the
faithfulness of God. Truly, whoever relies on God can
never be disappointed.
Advice to women
I advise my fellow women to realise that as mothers, we
are duly endowed to provide maternal care for our
husbands. Although they are endowed with superior
physical strength, it takes appropriate emotions to
manage physical strength in task performance. And so
the best of strength lies in emotional strength. As
mothers, we are imbued with emotional strength and we
can utilise same to manage our husbands and our family,
so as to make our homes a happy one where all
emotional and physical abilities can blend to create joy
and make the home a place where everyone desires to
belong.
There is also the need to be patient with our husbands
and to endure the wrongs of the moment while remaining
70
focused on achieving the long term objectives of the
marriage. In order to cultivate the mindset of patience in
time of difficulties, you may have to see the present
problems as avenues the enemy has designed to deny you
the gains of the marriage. And so by prayerfully focusing
on common good with love and the wellbeing of all, you
emerge victorious over any problem.
It is the long term objectives of my marriage, the love of
my husband and my children and their well-being that
guided my thoughts and actions during my life battering
experiences. I was able to reject the advice of my
parents, deafen my ears to the comments of my fellow
women and focus on the well-being of my family with
love. If I had listened to the advice of my fellow women
and abandoned my children, it would be impossible to
convince them that I ever loved them, for it is by works
that faith is made evident (James 2:14). If they struggle
on their own and the Lord blesses them, just as he has
done, I would not have the moral justification to demand
the care for a mother from them. I would actually remain
eternally burdened by my conscience for abandoning
them.
It is therefore needful that as mothers, we resolve to
make our marriage a happy one. We should maintain the
decision to build our marriage for good, no matter the
situation that we find ourselves. We should always rely
on God so that even when adverse situations arise; he
71
would grant us strength to overcome and turn the
situations around for good. It is also our duty to guide
our children and even our husbands on the need to
depend on God. Even if you lose your husband, live the
life of a worthy woman and the almighty God who
promised to be your husband would see you through all
adversities and bring you to the moment of joy where
you reap the fruits of your labour.
Single parenting: A season of planting
Prologue
Nene’s experience as a single parent after the death of
her husband was another challenging period of her life.
She was not only saddled with the duties of
maternal/paternal care but she was also the only one to
be relied upon in times of difficulties. The paying of
school fess, repair of fixtures in the house, defence of the
lands and resources of her husband against
encroachment, as well as decisions on the handling of
ailments and treatment of children at moments of ill
health. Narrating the experience of her ordeals after the
death of her husband, Nene likened her case to someone
abandoned in a desert amidst a torrential storm. “You
are battling to protect yourself from the scourge of the
sun. At the same time, you also face the threats of
72
sandstorm that tend to fill your eyes with sand; making it
impossible for you to see”.
The travails of single parenting
Reflecting on the travails of the widow in terms of single
parenting and the future of her children, Mrs Janet
Okocha found solace in the Sunday school lesson on the
ordeals of labour and the suffering experienced by the
farmer at sowing time, and the joy that comes at harvest
season. She exclaimed ―no wonder the almighty God said
that he is the husband of the widow and the father of the
fatherless. The challenges that a widow faces when she
has to fend for the family alone is simply unbearable. No
widow can overcome the challenges by her own strength.
Truly, it takes the grace of God for the woman to be able
to provide the needs of the family, nurture and train the
children to become what the family envisioned them to
be, and to withstand the unwholesome acts of evil
minded persons towards you and your children. At
times, persons who pretended to be friends of the family
while your husband lived soon turnaround to become
your oppressors.
It is only by the grace of God that any widow is able to
wade through the challenges of widowhood and single
parenting and still bring up children who would not
venture into armed robbery, gangsterism and prostitution.
This can only be achieved through the instrumentality of
73
patience, prayers, trust in God and sincere commitment
to the service of God.
Love conquers all
One tool of the instrumentality of sincere commitment to
the service of God according to Nene is a life of love.
Nene discourages the nurturing of ill feelings and so she
does not bear grudge for anybody. Nene dedicates every
moment of her time to singing her songs of praise to
God. She believes in the philosophy of conflict
avoidance. By this philosophy Nene holds that even if
you notice aggression and ill wills of your neighbours, it
is better you pretend that you do not know. By this
disposition you would bear no grudge for any body and
you would be able to live a life of love unrestrainedly,
just like a baby. By this ―born again‖ lifestyle, Nene
believes that the individual would attract associated grace
of God. Evidently this life style of a baby actually makes
Nene so young at heart. Many persons who interact with
her testify that she is truly born anew. Of a truth, this is
the actual substance of the ―born again syndrome‖.
Nene affirms that she has records of miraculous benefits
from God as the husband of the widow. She noted that
she has remained faithful to God and she continued to
worship God and to live her normal life, but she never
thought that the almighty God would favour her so much.
Bursting into songs, Nene also stepped up to perform her
74
usual dance steps as she sang in praise of the almighty
God.
“Mmam we n’obu a obochi
z’onu. Mmam we , Mmam
we ....” I did not know that
things could turn out so
good. I did not know that
God loves me so much...
Again Nene exalted the faithfulness of God,
noting that truly Jesus does whatever he says
he would do
Jesus bu okw eme,
okwule oz’ eme we.
Okwu emeeee,
Jesus bu okwu eme,
okwule oz’ eme wee
75
Nenes admonitions
Nene then admonished every woman to exhibit virtuous
motherhood as life style. If your husband dies early, the
almighty God who does not fail in his words; who even
swore by his words would always ensure that you reap
the gains of whatever travails you experience as a
widow. And by perceiving the travails like the pains of
the planting season, you would obviously reap with
songs of joy at the season of harvest. And truly he the
good lord would smoothen the travails and make them
less painful so far as the individual remains patient and
faithfully committed to God. This virtuous motherhood
actually applies to every woman. If by any circumstance,
a woman is not married, the Lord also promised her
abundant blessings because he the Lord would not
abandon her. He would give her a name that is
remarkably gainful and she would have nothing to regret.
If he who said let there be light and there was light has
said these words of comfort and promise, it is only wise
that we should trust and rely on him and also present
ourselves as worthy children of God so that we can reap
the abundant blessings he has reserved for our well being
76
Know thy sister and brother
Mrs. Janet Okocha
facilitated
the
restructuring of the
Rumuwegwu
women group as a
formal
organisation.
Responding to a
question that arose Nene at Rumuwegwe women meeting (1996)
at a meeting of the group hosted by Mrs. Love Marcus
about the year 1996, concerning the formal establishment
of the women‘s group, Nene stated as follows
Answer. Truly there was an event at which it was
decided that the Rumuwegwu women group should be
formally established as a women meeting. It was when
our sister, Wali, the daughter of Olumati who was
married at Owhipa lost her son Wenenda. So we were
gathered there at Rumuordunwo family of Owhipa
Choba. It was my humble self, Janet the wife of
Wonsirim Okocha who spoke to the gathering of the
Rumurinya Wegwu women as follows:
You are my maternal relatives, the parents of the woman
who gave birth to me. I know you all love me. And
because of the love we have for each other, we always
gather whenever there is an incident, especially death.
But it is not pleasing to me that we always gather to
77
felicitate in times of sorrow. Since you love me and you
appreciate my presence whenever we gather, please
oblige me. Let us establish this body formally as an
organisation. This will help us to be better organised as a
formidable body. I think it is not wise that we should
only gather in time of sorrow. Let us be named
Rumurinya Wegwu Women Meeting. Let us hold the
meeting regularly so that we can know each other better.
Our children shall also be able to know each other.
Nene in dance session at Rumuwegwe women meeting
The group immediately deliberated and agreed to my
suggestion and the meeting started as agreed. The
meeting started holding at Rumuwegwu ancestral family
home. Later, the group agreed that instead of coming
from our various marital homes and towns to our family
home, the meeting should rotate amongst members and
that it should be hosted at the marital homes and towns of
78
each member. The major advantage of the rotational
hosting is the opportunity it affords us as sisters to
familiarise ourselves with the marital homes and towns
of each member. We shall also get to know the children
of each member and the children would be acquainted
with each other as relatives. This would also enable us
avert a situation whereby a sister and brother could get
into marital consent without knowing that they are blood
relatives. It is particularly for this reason that we created
an item in the agenda whereby the host shall introduce
her children to the members.
Since then the Rumurinya Rumuwegwu women
association has been growing in strength and unity. It has
remained an organisation of joy and we are proud to
associate with each other. The body has also remained
the pride of Rumuwegwu. Truly we are proud and our
pride is informed by the fact that our ancestral family, the
Wegwu family is a famous family. We are proud to
belong to this family. I have prayed God to stop the
incessant deaths in this precious family of my noble
mother. My maternal kinsmen and women love me so
much. I keep praying God to preserve their lives for me.
Whenever I remember this women meeting I become
joyous. Even in sickness I always attend the meeting and
once I associate with them, the ill health disappears.
79
We are proud because we are daughters of a family of
wealth, nobility and royalty. We also married into
wealthy, noble and royal families (Eze muru, Eze luru)
Ele bo horu ohoru lu anu meka … Diali
Ele meji eme onu anu meka ….Diali
Ele biala bmehia oro nzi anu meka … Diali
Anu meka … Diali
80
CHAPTER SEVEN
Mrs Janet Okocha’s child nurturing practices: An
academic perspective
Agwu, C.O. (2019) Audio-Visual to textual account of
the child nurturing and education practices of Mrs. Janet
Okocha. International Journal of Multidisciplinary
Research and Development. 6(12); 199-203
Abstract
This study analysed the customary child nurturing and
education system as practiced in the Ikwerre ethnic
nation of Nigeria by Mrs Janet Okocha. The researcher
adopted the ethnographic approach by generating a
decade of video data captured during story based songs
and dance oriented child education moments of Mrs
Janet Okocha while living her normal life. An analysis of
the video data indicates an emphasis on emotional
facilitation of learning as well as the constructivist
approach. This is evidenced in the use of songs that
convey the content of the lesson as well as artistic dance
steps and gestures that make the lesson memorable while
retaining the attention of the learners. It is recommended
that worthy traditional values and child nurturing
practices be revived and integrated into the Nigerian
educational system.
81
Introduction
One popular statement of historians holds that ―when a
journey man forgets where he is coming from, he is most
likely to miss his destination‖. And discussing the
importance of history, Crabtree (2001) observed that
―our view of history shapes the way we view the present,
and therefore dictates what answers we offer existing
problems‖. No wonder the Chinese hold firm to a
political philosophy that is hinged on their history. In the
words of Peng, (2017)
“The state of contemporary
Chinese politics is closely
connected to Chinese history.
The revolutionary movements,
social restructuring and state building that have occurred in
China for over a century are
linked to this specific history
and reality”
In truth, the experiences of the past guide a people in
formulating enduring policies and procedures of task
performance which form the practices that become
acculturated into societal activities in order to achieve the
expectations of the society. No wonder Peng (2017)
82
further stated that ―there is no doubt of the importance of
studying modern state-building in China from the
dimensions of history and institutions, process and
structure‖.
It therefore holds that when a society that
thrives in the application of modern theories of
development and perpetuation of cultural heritage fails to
achieve expectations, there is the need for an assessment
of the extent to which processes of development and their
contemporary educational practices aligns with the
historical heritage of the people.
The inability of the Nigerian nation to imbue overall
competence in task performance and attitudinal
objectives in the citizens through her educational system
has led educational planners and policy makers to adopt
different forms of educational system. This was aptly
captured by Olaniyan, (2012) when he observed that
“The major reason for the change
of system is to produce graduates
who will possess skills in
information
communication
technology (ICT) and become less
dependent on employers of labour
after completing school. They
would acquire sufficient skills to
83
become
self-employed
employers of labour”
and
Reflections on the pre-colonial era of the Nigerian
society reveal that the nation enjoyed an enduring state of
sanity, morality, stability and national consciousness that
is incomparable with the high level of social decadence,
restiveness and potential state failure that readily
confront the Nigerian nation today. In the words of one
social commentator, education can still be relied upon to
salvage the nation. And a review of the traditional precolonial educational system in Nigeria reveals that the
ancient kingdoms that made up the Nigerian nation had
their customary educational practices before the advent
of the western educational system. Our aged mothers and
fathers in different communities who did not have the
opportunity to obtain western education were duly
trained in the customary educational system. They were
able to live sustainably. They were duly equipped with
the requisite knowledge and skills as well as the
emotional and psycho social abilities to live successfully
in the society. Though most of their children are
schooled in western education, they were able to imbue
their children with the customary norms and values of
their respective ethnic nations. And their lifestyles
remain learning objects and models of character, worthy
of emulation as well as objects for the enthronement of
84
sanity and the requisite decent attitudes that the Nigerian
nation earnestly desires for her citizens
It is therefore appropriate to reflect on the lifestyles of
these elderly citizens with a view to identify virtues that
stand out as monuments of the past, with the potential to
address and reform the present in order to fashion a
future of decent minded citizens and a stable nation. It is
in this vein that this study attempts to reflectively
identify the teaching and learning strategies that noble
elderly citizens of our local communities utilised in the
training and education of their children and wards.
Actually, formal education is not the major yardstick for
selection of the individual whose lifestyle is the object of
this study. The major consideration is that the candidate
must be a progressive and noble minded member of the
society. He/she must have contributed to societal
wellbeing, either at the family, community and local
government level. He/she must have nurtured his
children/wards into maturity as noble minded members
of the society.
The study shall analyse the child nurturing strategies
utilised by these elderly citizens to ascertain the extent to
which they:
-
Promote positive affective orientations
85
-
Possess the requisite learner engagement
potentials
Facilitate the application of knowledge into real
life problem situations
Aim of the study
The study shall ascertain the learner engagement
potentials of the teaching strategies adopted by Mrs Janet
Okocha in her interaction with her children and relatives
and the extent to which such strategies facilitate
cognitive and affective learning outcomes.
Objectives of the study
The study shall achieve the following objectives
1) Identify the particular teaching strategies that Mrs
Janet Okocha applies in her interaction with her
children and wards and the attributes of the
strategies.
2) Ascertain the learner engagement potentials of
the strategies
3) Ascertain the extent to which the strategies can
facilitate the achievement of cognitive and
affective learning outcomes
86
Brief Educational biography of Mrs. Janet Okocha
The educational biography of Mrs. Janet Okocha reveals
that her parents were strict disciplinarians.
Her father, a wealthy
yam farmer of his time
and a traditional ruler,
possessed
both
economic and political
power. He and his
beloved wife never
exposed their precious
daughter, Sunday, a
princess
of
Rumuchukwunwanyia
Mrs. Janet Okocha
lineage of Ozuoba, the
ancestral capital of Akpor kingdom to the ―strange‖
educational system of the white man. She was duly
nurtured in the norms of womanhood in accordance with
the customs of the Ikweres. She was quite informed on
the etiquettes of feminine roles in a royal household as
well as the skills of farming, trading and the management
of the domestic affairs. Nene, as she was fondly called,
attended the Bible study sessions of the Anglican Church
where she worshipped the almighty God, and she was
duly tutored on the noble roles of family members using
the family of Joseph, Mary and Jesus as a model. Nene
was not lacking in knowledge of the role of the woman in
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home building and child upbringing as well as the
customary roles of the woman in community leadership.
Her regular association with her maternal kinsmen, the
Rumumanyaikpokwus of Choba also exposed her to
experience-based knowledge gains and expanded her
horizons of thoughts and skilfulness in problem solving
such that she developed the confidence and ability to
manage problematic situations
Critical virtues of Mrs Janet Okocha; Love for
peaceful neighbourliness
Nene‘s love for peaceful co-existence knows no bounds.
She is ready to sacrifice her rights and possessions just to
ensure that she is at peace with her neighbours. This
desire to live peaceably with every person led her to a
philosophy of conflict avoidance which she sermonises
through songs and dances whenever the opportunity of
such admonitions presents itself. In her words
“whenever your relative, husband,
mate or friend tries to cheat you,
pretend that you do not know. It is
better that you feign ignorance of your
rights. If you try to claim your rights,
then be ready for trouble”. (See Utube
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link) Song and dance of Nwunye digi
megide wo gi ....
Nene further explained that the joy you derive by living
peaceably with your neighbours even when they rob you
of your rights outweighs the hostility and emotional
trauma you experience when you insist on your rights but
have to contend with ill-wills and conflict ridden
relationship with your neighbours.
Mrs Janet Okocha’s unique teaching strategies in
child nurturing
Mrs Janet Okocha has very unique strategies for
presenting incisive content and advice to her children and
associates. Whenever an opportunity of merry and joyous
interaction avails, Nene, as she was fondly called, would
tactically present her philosophy of conflict avoidance
through joyous songs and admirable dance steps.
Reasoning that the joy and merry of the moment is made
possible because conflict and the associated acrimony are
absent, she would then utilise the joyous mindset so
created and her songs and dance steps to drive home the
message of peaceful cohabitation. Even when conflict
seems to arise, Nene would assuage a conflict ridden
scenario with her songs, dance steps and smiles by
redirecting attention from the object of conflict to her
blissful emotion-laden intervention. Indeed, the very
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unique dance steps are only associated with Mrs Janet
Okocha.
Nene with grand children in songs/dance oriented teaching session
Nene in a dance session
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Whenever she steps up to sing and dance, her wisdom,
sense of artistry and the message (content) of her songs
arouses positive emotions. Every person is poised to
listen in admiration. By admiring her dancing style,
listening to her songs and appreciating the message
(content), the individual inevitably internalises the
message
and
cultivates
value
for
peaceful
neighbourliness. Truly, this is a unique teaching strategy.
It is actually a meta teaching strategy because it
incorporates the features of the constructivist‗s story
based teaching approach and also appeals to
psychomotor performance skills.
Nene dancing with her bosom friend, Wowo
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The aesthetics of dance, the joy of songs and rhythms of
music, and a multitasking capability that combines all
these features to communicate virtuous content aimed at
equipping the learner with cognitive and affective
understanding and capabilities can only be associated
with individuals that bear the mark of a genius. No
wonder everyone who encounters Mrs Janet Okocha
perceives her as a learning object and the memories of
such encounter, insightful understanding and learning
gains remain indelibly etched in the person‘s memory.
Methods
Adopting an ethnographic approach, this study relied on
video sceneries that the researcher captured from
moments of interaction that Nene had with her children,
wards, grandchildren, fellow women and associates. It
particularly centred on the video clips of the moments
that were imbued with teaching and learning interaction.
The captured moments were not specifically set aside for
Nene to teach. They are activities that naturally occurred
while she lived her normal life.
Nene in story telling session with grand children
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Nene with Daughter in law, Mrs Choice Okocha
These activities prompted her into reflections and she
responded with songs and dances as well as explanatory
comments and admonitions which she formally directed
to her children or associates as she found appropriate.
The video shots actually represent over a decade of
interactions that Nene had with her children,
grandchildren, wards, associates and relatives. These
activities actually happened during celebrations and
remarkable family activities which the researcher
documented for the family of the subject in video
records. Reflecting on her life experiences during such
family activities, Nene was prompted into thoughts on
her moments of sorrow as well as moments of joy. But
more importantly she expressed the learning gains of
such moments as insights and outcomes of her life
experiences in the belief that her children and
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grandchildren would imbibe the lessons there-in and live
harmoniously with neighbours.
Sampling procedure
The study adopted a purposive sampling procedure to
identify members of the public who possess the requisite
qualities. One of such persons identified in Choba
community of Obio/Akpor LGA of Rivers State is Mrs.
Janet Sunday Wada Okocha (nee Ikegwuru), popularly
known as Nene.
Video as data
Discussing the use of video for research, Jewitt (2012)
noted that
video is particularly productive for
data collection when exploring the
social organisation and unfolding of
interaction over time, particularly
where there is an interest in the use
of gesture, bodily movement,
interaction with objects and other
forms of multimodal communication
more generally
And in what McDermott and Goldman (2007) call data
discovery, they noted that video provides avenue to
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expand the analysis of events such that, through the
process, video becomes data rather than information.
And discussing the ability of video to preserve the
sequential structure of interactions, Knoblauch,
Schnettler and Raab, (2006:19), noted that
by providing detailed record of the
gaze, expression, body posture,
gesture of an event, video enables
researchers using video data to
rigorously and systematically
examine resources and practices
through which participants in
interaction build their social
activities and how their talk, facial
expression, gaze, gesture, and
body elaborate one another
Analysis
A review of Nene‘s interaction with her children,
grandchildren, wards, daughters-in-law, relatives and
associates reveals the application of the following
teaching and learning strategies.
95
-
-
-
The Story based approach.
Nene utilised narratives to tell the experiences she
had in life. This includes the presentation of
learning insights in songs that summarize the
gains of such experiences.
Dance oriented teaching
Nene utilised songs and accompanying dance
steps to capture and engage the attention of the
listener on her demonstration.
Non-verbal communication
Other
visual
components
of
Nene‘s
demonstrations include gestures and the
accompanying non-verbal facial expressions that
she used to enhance communication.
Testimonies
Nene‘s children and daughters-in-law testify that by
virtue of her admonitions, they have internalised the need
to relate cordially with people such that whenever a
challenge that tended to mar relationship with neighbours
occurs, they remember Nene‘s admonitions to stay out of
trouble. They immediately recall the songs that
encourage one to ignore the tendency to get angry and
focus on the benefits of living peaceably with
neighbours. Nene‘s dance steps also come to mind as
complimentary visuals that accompany her admonitions
as well as the mindset of joy and peace that she desires in
the family of her husband, late Mr. Gabriel Okocha
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Conclusion
The analysis of video data reveals that Mrs. Janet
Okocha was quite affective oriented in her teaching
approach. By the use of story based strategies, and songs,
the burden of learning was no more perceived as a task to
be performed but as a social event. And by the
integration of dance steps, the event became more
memorable and entertaining such that the content thereof
could recall as the learners remember the songs and the
visible memory of her dance steps. Her gestures, facial
expressions and content of songs also enhance the joy of
an entertaining social event, the memory of which
remains a treasure to the learner.
And when confronted with real life challenges that relate
with the content, the learner would automatically recall
the memories of Nene‘ lessons as well as the content, and
thus apply him/herself cogently in problem solving in
accordance with the content of the lesson.
Recommendation
It is hereby recommended that worthwhile
traditional values and customary child nurturing
practices be revived and integrated into the
Nigerian educational system.
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Epilogue
The LEARNING FROM OUR LIVES project holds that
a lifestyle that evidences the image and likeness of God
presents lessons to mankind. By documenting the
thoughts and actions of man that derive from such
indwelling presence of God as a learning object, posterity
would gain the perpetuation of worthy lifestyles. And by
accompanying the author in this reflective journey on the
life and times of one of such nobles in the person of Mrs
Janet Sunday Okocha (AKA Nene), the reader would be
interacting with the Lord whose instincts Nene acted out
at various times and circumstances of her life.
Journeying with Nene, we realise that LOVE is an
admirable attribute of God. It beams with the light of
mercy as well as the endowment of victory. Mrs Janet
Okocha‘s lifestyle is the template that teaches us to align
our thoughts and actions with God, using the
instrumentality of love. By this, we are able to act out the
image and likeness of God which is our authentic
possession. And we will be able to live life satisfactorily
in a harmonious environment of righteousness, peace and
joy.
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