What was your question(s) that you asked me?
How can I improve my summary? (Feel sort of lost in that aspect of my paper.)
Does my response include everything that a good response needs? I feel like the response part
was the strongest part of my paper but I’m sure it needs work as well.
Anything else I should pay special attention to or look at further?
How did I respond?
Summary: Be as speci c as possible about your source and what you're doing with it, even from
the rst sentence. In and of itself, I don't see anything that is not summarizing (but again, I'm just
skim reading right now) in this rst body paragraph. If you feel that it is lacking, then I encourage
you to think about secondary or tertiary details that Etizioni uses in order to fully substantiate his
claim.
Response: Also be as speci c as possible here. "You" is going to lead to a broad generalization
rather than working on a response directly about the audience/group that Etizioni is addressing. I
don't see a lot of "because" statements. That's another thing to look at more carefully. You
don't have to use the word "because" but doing so forces you to more fully work through your
thoughts. And, make sure that you're directly addressing each of Etizioni's main points that you
outline in the summary section. Since I'm skimming, I didn't double check that, but it looks like
maybe you're addressing the big picture situation more so than each of Etizioni's main points in
the response section.
Demonstrate how you used the response to improve your writing.
I used the critiques from my teacher to create more speci c examples and hone in on speci c
details to enhance my paper. I also learned to be prepared for conferences and to bring speci c
(not broad) questions.