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UNIT I: LESSON 1 | BASIC REALITIES AND FUNDAMENTAL DIMENSION OF MARRIAGE
1.
Marriage
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Commonly referred to as “Settling Down”
(paglalagay sa tahimik)
Both secular and sacred Institution/reality
-imbued with both HUMAN and DIVINE
element
Family Code of the Philippines
Marriage is…
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A special contract
A permanent union between a man and a
woman
Entered into in accordance with the law.
For the establishment of conjugal and
family life
It is the foundation of family life and an
inviolable social institution whose nature,
consequences and incidents are governed
by law and not subject to stipulation, except
that marriage settlements may fix the
property relations during the marriage
within the limits provided by this Code.
1983 Code of Canon Law
Marriage is…
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A covenant
Between a man and a woman
Establish
between
themselves
a
partnership of their whole life,
and which by its very nature is ordered to
the well-being of the spouses and to the
procreation and upbringing of children.
Basic realities and fundamental dimensions of
marriage
CHRISTIAN VISION OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY | FPRELIMS
2.
Marriage is a divine reality.
• God himself is the author of
marriage (CCC no. 1603)
• God created man out of love and
also calls him to love.
• Therefore, a man and a woman’s
mutual love, mirrors the love of
God for man.
Marriage is a human reality.
A. Officium naturae or Duty of nature
• The task of procreation for the
propagation of species
B. Marriage as a state and as an event
• The task of procreation for the
propagation of species
• Marriage as an event is a lifelong
process…
• “Natural Human Institution”
C. Marriage is personal
• Involves a DEEPLY personal affair
between two persons in love.
• The need to feel loved
• The need to be needed
• The need to be special
D. Marriage is social
• A “social institution” that exists
interdependently
with
community/state
• Heightens
the
sense
of
responsibility
• As a social institution… needs the
support of the community and the
civil society
• Education
• Economics
• Property
• Medical attention
• Public decency
• Safety
E. Marriage as a complex reality
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A sacred, public, social, legal and
religious affair…
• not only related to white gowns,
rings, flowers, sponsors and
receptions but also and mainly to
love, children, a home, fidelity,
heroism and …faith.
• A valid marriage contract cannot
exist between baptized persons
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•
without its being by the fact a
SACRAMENT (can. 1055)
Only in FAITH can one fully
understand and live the meaning
of Christian marriage as a
vocation, with mutual fidelity,
responsible
parenthood
and
human
maturity
as
its
indispensable ingredients.
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which is sometimes essential in finding
opportunities in life.
Life Event
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Any demarcated change in demographic,
educational, employment, health or other
individual circumstance locatable to a
particular point in time.
Rite of Passage
Strong family influence
Feast
Common Values
Function of Rituals
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Limit situations
Symbolic
Social purpose
➢ Since the Creator of all things has established
the conjugal partnership as the beginning and
basis of human society, the family is the first
and vital cell of society.
➢ The man and the woman are given the
responsibility to take care of their children,
because the future of the Church and the
society depends on them. And whatever the
parents inculcate in their children can be crucial
in their psychological, emotional and moral
development.
➢ The family is the pillar of the society. It is the
foundation of all social institutions and
interactions. Social progress also depends
largely on how strong the families are because
good values such as kindness, generosity,
honesty and the like are first practiced and
witnessed in the family. Having people practice
these virtues will definitely yield good results
especially in building a tolerant, fair, and just
society.
➢ It is for this reason that marriage is social in
essence, truly a social institution. It is a major
unit in which socialization first happens and a
fertile ground for individuals to be acquainted
with fundamental relational skills. Family
provides its members with social identity,
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UNIT I: LESSON 2 | POSITIVE CONTRIBUTIONS OF MARRIAGE & FUNCTIONS OF THE FAMILY
Three important public purposes served by Marriage
1.
2.
3.
Societies seek to ORGANIZE THE BEARING
AND REARING OF CHILDREN through
marriage as an institution. Ensures that
children have the love and support of their
father and mother.
Marriage PROVIDES DIRECTION, ORDER,
AND STABILITY TO ADULT SEXUAL
UNIONS and to their economic, social, and
biological consequences.
Marriage CIVILIZES MEN AND WOMEN,
furnishing them with a SENSE OF
PURPOSE, NORMS, AND SOCIAL STATUS
that orient their lives away from vice and
toward virtue.
Intrinsic goods of marriage
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Natural mutual self-giving
- Fidelity,
acceptance:
permanence/exclusivity
Elevates, orders, constrains natural desires
- Fidelity and care
Perfects sexual nature
- Procreative and unitive meaning of
sexual drive (Unique biological unity)
Natural defense against commodification
and trivialization of human relationships (till
death....)
➢ The Church teaches that marriage "helps to
overcome self-absorption, egoism, pursuit of
one's own pleasure, and to open oneself to the
other, to mutual aid and to self-giving“
( Catechism of the Catholic Church #1609).
Functions of the Family
1. Regulation of sexuality
• Sexual intercourse or the conjugal
act in theological term is realized in
a truly human way only if it is an
essential part of the love by which
man and woman commit themselves
totally to one another until death.
• “Husbands and wives, while equal in
their dignity as persons, are
complementary in their sexuality. It
is this complementarity that enables
them to “give” themselves to one
another and to “receive” one another
CHRISTIAN VISION OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY | FPRELIMS
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and to carry out responsibilities as
spouses and parents.”
- St. John Paul II
First, they have to freely choose to
“give” themselves to one another
and to ‘receive” one another.
Second, is to freely choose to
engage in the conjugal act.
Third, is to freely choose to
cooperate with God and be open to
procreation, welcoming life with
open arms, raise the child and
educate him/her in the love and
service of God and neighbor.
2. Responsible procreation
• According to Familiaris Consortio
(No. 14) While procreation is not
the only purpose of marriage, it is
one of the benefits that can result
from marriage.
• In begetting life, husband and wife
fulfill one of the highest
dimensions of the Christian
calling, which is to become God‘s
co-worker and co-creator.
• Marriage is a life-long covenantal
relationship between a man and a
woman, characterized by human
love, and open to procreation
(Can. 1055; Eph. 5:1- 3).
• Family is the core where Christian
faith must grow and blossom and
where parents exercise their
proper responsibility in caring for
both the spiritual and physical
needs of their children.
• Gaudium et Spes & Humanae
Vitae
a. First, while God commanded
man and woman to beget
children and fill the earth
(Gen. 1:28), God has also
made parents responsible for
the physical, emotional, and
spiritual needs of their
children (1 Timothy 3:5).
b. Second, parents are better
able
to
meet
this
responsibility when the
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number of children in a
family is reasonable and
manageable.
c. Third, parents should not
reproduce
carelessly—
having many children yet
failing to give those children
the care they deserve.
A. The properties and purposes of
Christian marriage.
B. The importance of responsible
parenthood.
C. The Church‘s guidance on
family planning.
D.
The
linkages
between
population
growth,
family
planning, and development.
E.
Above
all,
Abstinence,
Faithfulness, Love, Commitment,
and Trust.
3. Socialization
• According to the Catechism of the
Catholic Church, the family is the
original cell of social life. It is the
natural society in which husband
and wife are called to give
themselves in love and in the gift
of life.
• The family is the community in
which, from childhood, one can
learn moral values, begin to honor
God, and make good use of
freedom. Family life is an initiation
into life in society.
(CCC 2207)
4. Economic cooperation
• Families are important for goods
and services. Most productions
are geared toward families,
especially for their basic needs –
food, clothing and shelter.
• According to Pope Francis in
―”The Joy of the Gospel” (220) responsible citizenship is a virtue,
and that participation in political
life is a moral obligation
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UNIT I: LESSON 3 | RELATIONAL, PROCREATIONAL & SOCIAL GOODS OF MARRIAGE
Extrinsic goods of Marriage
1.
2.
3.
Relational goods
Procreational goods
Social/Institutional goods
Benefits of a Healthy Marriage
Researchers have found many benefits for men who
are in healthy marriages, compared to unhealthy
marriages, including the following statistics:
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Extrinsic goods of Marriage (Utilitarian goods)
I.
Relational Good
A. Personal union, intended for the whole
of life, of husband and wife. ( good of
spouse )
• Mutual dependence and Obligation
:
STRENGTHENED
by
PERMANENCE
• Biological,
Psychological,
Emotional,
Social and Sexual
complementarity of the male and
female sexes. ( shared maturity)
B. Ordinarily, both men and women who
marry are better off as a result.
• An opposition to a self-centered
society popular culture : “ME,” `If
it feels good, do it!' DO WHAT
PLEASES THEM AT THE MOMENT
WITHOUT A THOUGHT TO THE
BROADER
LONG-TERM
CONSEQUENCES
OF
THEIR
ACTIONS
• Marriahe has significant benefits
for the well-being of adult men and
woman who enter into it.
1. emotional: security, shared
responsibility,
protection,
stability, support
2. psychological:
discipline,
commitment, long- term
outlook,
fidelity,
lowers
testosterone levels ( moral
too )
3. social: paternity, support
4. economic:
financially,
responsible
expense
(savings)
5. physical: health is shared
responsibility, women less
victimized.
6. moral: avoidance of risky
behaviors, more civilized,
industry,
CHRISTIAN VISION OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY | FPRELIMS
Longer lives
Physically healthier
Wealthier
Increase in the stability of employment
Higher wages
Emotionally healthier
Decrease risk of drug and alcohol abuse
Have better relationships with their children
More satisfying sexual relationship
Less likely to commit violent crimes
Less likely to contract STD's
Less likely to attempt or commit suicide
➢ Vatican Council II affirms that the intimate
partnership of married life and love is not only
ordered towards the goods of offspring and
society, but also for the good of the spouses.
(Gaudium et Spes #48)
➢ John Paul II speaks of the capacity for marriage
to cure the negative effects of sin with the help
of God's grace in the sacraments, and through
prayer and forgiveness in the family.
(Letter to Families #14)
II.
Procreational Good
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Satisfies children’s need to know their
biological origins : FATHER and MOTHER
- A framework of love for nurturance,
education and development
- Seedbed of sociability and vistue
Protects and nurtures mental ,
psychological,sexual, moral, emotional and
social health of children
Sexuality differences are crucial in
Parenting
- FEMALE HORMONE : Peptide
Oxytocin
- MALE HORMONE : Testosterone
➢ The Church recognizes the goodness of unity
and difference in existence. Just as the
persons of the Trinity are different, yet have all
that the other has, so also do men and women
in marriage become fully one, but with
different resources and ways of relating.
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(John Paul II, Letter to Families #8 & Mulieris
Dignitatem #10)
without committed mothers and
fathers.
A functioning marriage culture serves
to protect political liberty and foster
limited government intrusion.
Religion plays a vital role in creating
and sustaining marriage as a social
institution. (limits state intrusion)
➢ Speaking about the equal dignity of men and
women, the U.S. Bishops address gender
difference. They talk about particular physical
and psychological gender traits that result in
varying skills and perspectives. As noted
above, men and women mutually benefit from
marriage, but they receive these benefits in
different ways.
(USCCB, Follow the Way of Love, 1993, p.19)
III.
Social or institutional good
A. Marriage is a wealth-creating institution,
increasing human and social capital.
1. network of relationships: a key
ingredient of the “social capital”
(generosity, self-sacrifice, trust, selfdiscipline)
- crucial in every domain of social life.
2. economy and state depend upon
families to produce the next generation
of productive workers and taxpayers.
3. ordered and
regulated
sexual
relationships benefits human society.
B. Marriage sustains civil society and
promotes the common good.
1. renewal of human capital: national
economy needs human capital at
replacement level.
2. young stable patterns of work and selfreliance, directed by parents, provides
basis
for
developing
useful
skills/gaining a profession.
3. Marriage/ family assist in caring for the
sick and elderly and provide
unremunerated care for their loved
ones, paying taxes, and produce
children forming future generations of
tax-paying workers.
4. Marital breakdown reduces the
collective welfare of our children,
strains our justice system, weakens
civil society: Public expenditures on
criminal justice, police, courts, and
prisons.
Crime is driven in part by the
breakdown of marriage.
5. When marriage weakens, the equality
gap widens, as children suffer from the
disadvantages of growing up in homes
CHRISTIAN VISION OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY | FPRELIMS
6.
7.
Marriage benefits on children (statistics)
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More likely to attend college
More likely to succeed academically
Physically healthier
Emotionally healthier
Less likely to succumb to drugs or alcohol
abuse
Less likely to commit delinquent behaviors
Less likely to be a victim of physical or
sexual abuse
Be open and honest with the couples you
help
Seek wisdom and understanding from God
Have a better relationship with their
mothers and fathers
Decreases their chances of divorcing when
they get married
Less likely to become pregnant as a
teenager, or impregnate someone
Less likely to be sexually active as
teenagers
Less likely to contract STD's
Less likely to be raised in poverty
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LESSON 3 | POSITIVE CONTRIBUTIONS OF FAMILY TO SOCIETY & FAMILY AS A DOMESTIC CHURCH
Positive contribution of family to society
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The family, as the bedrock of society, must
be a model of the loving relationship
between children and their parents. This
role of being the paragon good relationship
must edify the society at large.
Marital fidelity is indispensable in cultivating
respect. It is a commitment of one‘s whole
life to the spouse.
According to Familiaris Consortio: (FC 45)
―Both the state and society must defend
the family and respect its identity and its
autonomy as a way of fulfilling the
requirements of
Family as a Domestic Church
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The family is a place of encounter with
Christ within the community especially
when members are actively participating in
the mission of Christ entrusted to the
Church.
It is called the domestic church because it
lives out the familial and communal nature
of the church as the family of God.
Families are expected to be effective
bearers of the Gospel in their community.
They should be witnesses as domestic
churches.
The Christian family participates in the
threefold mission of Jesus Christ, the
prophetic, priestly and kingly mission.
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UNIT II: LESSON 1 | BIBLICAL UNDERSTANDING OF MARRIAGE IN THE OLD TESTAMENT
Myth of Baal
taken. That is why man leaves his father
and mother and clings to his wife and the
two of them become one body. –Gen.
2:18; 20-25
•
The Complete Illustrated Kama Sutra
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celebrate not condemn
sex and religion are one
Graeco Roman World
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Hermes – god of fertility
orgy – sacred ritual
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Inordinate craving for carnal pleasure
The aloneness‘ of man necessitated the creation of
the woman… This creation of man and woman
provides the source of equality for both, forming an
indivisible union with each other.
•
When God removed a rib from Adam, He
did more than just create another human
being, He created a woman with the same
structure of genes, blood type, DNA and
physical characteristics. He created kinfolk.
God‘s existence is eternal kinship.
•
God‘s image and likeness would be an
earthly kinship; man‘s kinship would be
dependent on that kinship... Man was
created family. Trinity and Family are
divinely the same. God is a family (Father,
Son and Holy Spirit). Man is a family
(father, mother, child)
•
This recognition of kinship and gift of self
between man and woman is encapsulated
by the exclamation of man upon meeting
woman: ―This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh! With the declaration
that they are forever bound, man forms a
covenant with woman which results in
―man leaving his father and mother to be
with the woman and they become one
flesh.
•
Marriage is rooted in the Creation by
Yahweh, the union of man and woman was
protected by the laws that governed the
early Israelite society and is intertwined
with its history. Marriage and family, in
ancient Jewish practice, have been one of
Lust
Biblical Perspective of Marriage: Marriage in
Creation
•
The gift of marriage, both as social
institution and as a sacrament, traces its
origins in the Book of Genesis ―as willed
by God in the very act of creation. This
enacts God‘s plan of including marriage in
the very center of the ― Creation, Fall and
Redemption of man.
•
The Lord God said: It is not good for man
to be alone. I will make him a suitable
partner… The man gave names to all the
cattle, all the birds of the air, and all the
wild animals; but none proved to be the
suitable partner for man. So the Lord God
cast a deep sleep on the man and while
was asleep, He took out one of man‘s ribs
and closed up its place with flesh.
•
The Lord God then built up into a woman
the rib He had taken from the man. When
He brought her to the man, the man said:
This one, at last is bone of my bones and
flesh of my flesh; this one shall be called
woman for out her man this one has been
CHRISTIAN VISION OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY | FPRELIMS
It is worth noting that of all the things in
creation where God has declared good, the
being alone of man was the sole
exemption from the regard of God. This
―solitude of man implies two meanings:
first, is man‘s very nature [male and
female] while the second is derived from
the male-female relationship.
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the defining institutions of Judaism for
almost a thousand years
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Since the Israelites give high regard to
kinship, the choosing of a wife by either
the parents or the groom himself usually is
influenced by relationships with family and
the welfare of the tribe..
2.
3.
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The Church reaffirms this kinship of man
and woman and teaches that though
inherently different, they were made so by
God and it is in this difference that they
complement each other.
•
This complementarity, this kinship, is
solidified in the “matrimonial covenant”
that the man and woman establish
between themselves wherein the covenant
made and upheld by them encompasses
the entirety of their relationship as
husband and wife which also includes their
agreement in adhering to the natural order
of marriage.
In choosing an ideal woman, the book of
Proverbs presents an image of an ideal
woman..
The stages of the Jewish marriage in the Old
Testament consisted of:
1.
father supersedes those of the mother in
regards to the welfare of the family, the
father and mother are still mentioned
together and given the same manner of
respect by the children
a contract or betrothal stage
- in which the terms of responsibility
and payment were determined; the
stage consists of the wedding dowry
or engagement gift which was usually
offered by the bride‘s father.
the consummation stage
- also known as the chuppah stage
- wherein the bride and groom would
consummate their union in the
chuppah, or bridal chamber; and
lastly,
the seven blessings and the marriage
supper
- which includes seven days of feasting
as a celebration of the marriage while
the seven blessings were recited over
the couple
With regard to the authority between the
husband and wife relationship, many
would think that since the Israelite society
followed a patriarchal framework, it would
follow that the husband is the master or
owner of the family and of his wife‘s
person as well. This belief, framed under
the title of the husband: ―ba‟al” focuses
more on the procreative responsibilities of
the wife in the marriage.
In ancient Jewish marriage, once the wife
becomes a mother, the role of
motherhood becomes a patent of nobility
for the woman where she acquires a place
in the family as well as a share in the
authority of the husband over the children.
And even though the authority of the
CHRISTIAN VISION OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY | FPRELIMS
Marriage in the Old Testament mirrors the marriage
of Israel with Yahweh.
•
This marriage between Yahweh and Israel
presents God as the compassionate and
patient husband who loves his wife even in
times of great conflict and aggravation. He
maintains His steadfastness in His
covenant with His people despite their
many flaws and abuses
•
With the unfaithfulness of Israel in contrast
to the steadfast love of Yahweh, the
prophet Jeremiah recognizes this adultery
of Israel and calls for a journey of
penitence, reconciliation and renewal of
the broken bond between them and God.
•
Jeremiah also employed God‘s falling in
love with His people for he was loyal in His
love to His people. The people went after
other lovers and made sacrifices to other
gods. Jeremiah, nevertheless, felt that love
was the very foundation stone for the idea
of Covenant. God alone was Divine,
Husband and Protector, and Israel was
exclusively his.
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UNIT II: LESSON 2 | BIBLICAL UNDERSTANDING OF MARRIAGE IN THE NEW TESTAMENT
Marriage in the Gospels
•
Like the Old Testament wherein marriage is
typically used to illustrate the relationship of
Yahweh to His people, so does the New
Testament illustrate the union of Christ and
the Church, finally elevating marriage to its
eternal state while still fully defending its
original intent.
•
It is often taught that Jesus is the fulfilment of
the Old Covenant and if the covenant in the
Old Testament includes marriage and mirrors
the marriage of Yahweh with His chosen
people, then marriage finds fulfilment in
Jesus. In Christ, God brings back creation to
its original unimpeded state. Christ in turn,
fulfils marriage and transforms it in the
intended image and plan of God
•
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John the Baptist compared his role to that of
the best man whose role is to assist the
bridegroom [Jesus] in his ministry. John the
Baptist serves as the link of the Old Testament
prophetic era to the New Testament‘s arrival
of the Messiah. Therefore, ―in light of the OT
where Israel is depicted as the bride of
Yahweh,‘ the Baptist is suggesting that Jesus
is Israel‘s awaited king and Messiah. John the
Baptist‘s role comes into focus as the
―bridegroom‘s friend who assists him in the
completion of the wedding
The very first miracle that was performed by
Jesus in John 2:1-11 where he changed water
into wine at the wedding in Cana presents a
depiction of God marrying humanity. The
miracle that took place in the wedding is a
―crucial event in the story of the restoration
of Israel because it is a dramatization of God
uniting with humanity.
•
Jesus used the metaphor of marriage in the
parable of the bridesmaids wherein the wise
bridesmaids bring extra oil for their lamps to
help them wait for the coming of the
bridegroom. In another instance, Jesus
insinuates the He is the bridegroom
•
The apostle Paul portrays marriage in the
same light as the Gospels where he presents
CHRISTIAN VISION OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY | FPRELIMS
Jesus as the bridegroom and humanity the
bride. He teaches that like Christ, husbands
have to share the same love and affection to
their wives: “Husbands, love your wives, just
as Christ loved the church and gave himself
up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by
the washing with water through the word, and
to present her to himself as a radiant church,
without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish,
but holy and blameless.”
Submission and Leadership
1 Corinthians 7:10-11
For the married I have something to say, and this is
not from me but from the Lord: a wife must not
leave her husband or if she does she must either
remain unmarried or else make it with her husband
nor must husband send his wife away.
1 Corinthians 7: 1-2, 5
Yes, it is not good for man to touch a woman; but
since sex is always a danger, let each man have his
own wife and each woman her husband….do not
refuse each other except by mutual consent, and
then only for an agreed time, to leave yourselves
free for prayer, then come together again in case
Satan should take advantage of your weakness to
tempt you.
Marital Debt- Privilege, Right, Duty
1 Corinthians 7:3-4
The husband should give to his wife her conjugal
rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the
wife does not own her own body but the husband
does; likewise the husband does not rule his own
body but the wife does.
Ephesians 5:21-33
Wives should regard their husbands as they regard
the Lord, since as Christ is the head of the Church
and saves the whole body, so is a husband the
head of his wife. And as the Church submits to
Christ, so should wives to their husbands, in
everything. Husbands should love their wives just
as Christ loved the Church and sacrificed himself
for her to make her holy…
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