FRESH PRINCE OF THE CUCKOO’S NEST
SCRIPT
SCENE 1 – GAMBLING SCENE
[FADE IN:]
[EXT. OREGON MENTAL HOSPITAL]
[MCMURPHY, HARDING & MARTINI are playing blackjack on a small table, while CHIEF
BROMDEN is standing silently in a corner.]
HARDING [calmer than the other patients, unless you make conversation about his wife.]
Hit Me.
[MARTINI lays a punch on HARDING’S Face, knocking him on the floor.]
[Laugh Track]
HARDING
Why in the living Christ did you do that for?
MARTINI [A simple minded, yet care-free patient.]
MARTINI [Simple minded, carefree and says yes a lot.]
Yes.
[MARTINI faces the camera and makes an awkward smile while it’s closing on him. Laugh
track playing.]
[Cut to CHIEF, doing a loud laughing fit., Slight close up of Chief walking away.]
[Cut to the group, looking away and going back to their game.]
MCMURPHY [A Smart-aleck]
hey Tequila, hit or sit?
MARTINI
Yes.
[Close up of his face, with louder laugh track.]
MCMURPHY
I said hit or sit ya bonehead?
MARTINI
Yes.
[Close up of his face, with even louder laugh track.]
HARDING
[looking at his cards, fidgeting with one of them.]
Well, gents, based on the square root of the deviation of the geometric square of these cards, I’d
say I have you all beat.
[HARDING lays down his cards, revealing a “blackjack.”]
[Cut to MCMURPHY and MARTINI looking at the cards with blank stares.]
MCMURPHY
That’s twenty-five genius
[HARDING looks at his cards, confused.]
MCMURPHY
Where’d YOU go to college, Poindexter?
HARDING
[looking very confident]
Smiths Falls.
[Extremely Loud Laugh Track]
MCMURPHY
Hey Moonshine, you busted or not?
MARTINI
Yes [Sound of glass breaking]
MCMURPHY
So gimme your cards, idiot
[MARTINI lays down his cards, revealing a perfect 21.]
[MARTINI looks at the camera and YEAAAAAHHH from CSI plays, green screen explosions.]
NURSE RATCHED [Der Fuhrer of the ward. Enters.]
I hope you gentlemen are behaving.
MCMURPHY
Oh yes, we sure are ma’am, [McMurphy forces a smile]
[NURSE RATCHED walks away, cut to MCMURPHY Mouthing “filthy bitch”]
[MCMURPHY resumes dealing cards.]
NURSE RATCHED
(from offscreen)
Medication time.
[END OF SCENE]
SCENE 2 – MEDICATION TIME
[TRANSITION to close-up of Ratched opening the door]
NURSE RATCHED
Medication time.
[Cut to MCMURPHY and the other patients playing poker, they glance at NURSE RATCHED
and return to playing poker.]
NURE RATCHED [ANNOYED]
Medication time.
[MCMURPHY and the patients do not even glance at her but keep playing.
NURSE RATCHED [IRATE]
MEDICATION TIME!
[Cut to MCMURPHY]
MCMURPHY
Boys, lets pull a Bromden and pretend to be deaf and dumb, yeah?
[NURSE RATCHED walks toward the table, the boys look up.]
NURSE RATCHED
Medication time.
[The boys look away.]
[NURSE RATCHED Grabs MCMURPHY by the throat, his feet leave the ground and NURSE
RATCHED stuffs pills down his throat.]
NURSE RATCHED
Will the rest of you boys be needing the same treatment?
[MARTINI and HARDING trip over themselves to get to the counter, down cups full of pills.]
[At the counter, NURSE RATCHED looks at the bottle that the pills were taken from, the bottle
reads: MRS RATCHED’S HAPPY PILLS.]
NURSE RATCHED
Oh shit.
[Cut to MARTINI lying on the floor, background turns into a psychedelic sequence, with
psychedelic trippy 60s music playing in the background.]
[FADE TO BLACK]
SCENE 3 – WORLD SERIES
[Scene transition, exterior of hospital, transition music plays from like some random sitcom.]
[MCMURPHY approaches the counter.]
NURSE RATCHED
Can I help you McDonald?
MCMURPHY
It’s MCMURPHY ya old hag. I was just wondering… The “world series” is on tonight (winks)
and I was wondering if you might just turn the TV set on.
NURSE RATCHED
I’m sorry Mr. MCMURPHY, but we have a lot of old men on the ward, and I’m not sure some of
them would appreciate the… ‘world series’ (winks)
MCMURPHY
Please Nurse Ratched, I’ll do anything…
NURSE RATCHED
I’m sorry Mr. Mcmurry, but we can’t change ward policy. Take a hike.
MCMURPHY [angry]
I ain’t leaving till I get the “world series” [winks]
[NURSE RATCHED leaves the window.]
[MCMURPHY goes to the bench and stares at the blank screen. After a few seconds he looks
under the cushion and finds the remote.]
MCMURPHY
Hello world series.
[MCMURPHY turns on the TV and begins watching Keeping Up with The Kardashians. After a
few seconds NURSE RATCHED sits beside him with a bag of popcorn.]
NURSE RATCHED
Scooch over bitch.
[MARTINI looks over from behind the chair and makes a face.]
[Cut to crane shot of NURSE RATCHED and MCMURPHY]
[CHIEF slowly makes his way across the screen, sweeping as he goes. Watching the TV. He
blocks the screen.]
[Cut to crane shot from POV of Television, facing CHIEF. He smiles, while the other characters
struggle to see from behind them. They start complaining.]
MCMURPHY
Move it you big son of a gun!
[CHIEF ignores everyone and keeps watching. Suddenly collapses. Showing MCMURPHY
behind him with a syringe.]
[NURSE RATCHED shrugs]
[FADE OUT]
SCENE 4
[FADE IN – BASKETBALL COURT]
[MCMURPHY and MARTINI play 1v1 basketball, CHIEF watches.]
[MARTINI steals the ball and throws it outside the court.]
MARTINI
Yes.
MCMURPHY
Martini you idiot! You gotta put it in the hole! You gotta stuff that son of a bitch in there!
Got it?
MARTINI
Yes.
[MCMURPHY throws MARTINI the ball. MARTINI throws it outside the court again.]
MCMURPHY
[red with anger but calms down]
Go take five.
MCMURPHY
Hey Chief! [waves chief over]
[CHIEF sees MCMURPHY and walks over.]
[MCMURPHY You know how to play? Its real simple. First, you grab the ball (Hands over the
ball to CHIEF.) and manipulates his wrists to make him grab the ball. CHIEF Runs off and
scores in the net.)]
[Cut to MCMURPHY, looking shocked.]
MCMURPHY
Damn son.
[Fade Out]
SCENE 5
[FADE IN to MCMURPHY and CHIEF sitting on a bench, handcuffed.\
MCMURPHY
You want some gum Chief?
CHIEF [Who finally speaks!]
Hell, yeah man!
[CHIEF takes the gum and chews it.]
MCMURPHY
[looking shocked]
Uhhhhh…
CHIEF
What? You think a man’s going to turn down some juicy fruit? Hell no.
MCMURPHY
You sly devil chief. [chuckles, then pauses for a few seconds.].
I’m getting out of here Chief, I know a guy who knows a guy who escaped prison and went to
Mexico.... Name was Sandy or Randy or something... I was thinking maybe I’d meet up with
him when I get out. I’ll sit down by the beach of Zihuantanejo chillin’ with the my gang.
CHIEF
Can I come?
MCMURPHY
Yeah, man. It’ll be nice to have you there with me.
NURSE RATCHED
[offscreen on P.A.]
Mr. McMurphy, please come down to my office, we have a “gift” for you.
MCMURPHY
Oh Boy! [MCMURPHY walks away, leaving chief alone]
[Cut to clip saying 3 HOURS LATER]
[Cut to MCMURPHY walking in the room Lobotomized]
CHIEF
Mack? [Shakes MCMURPHY to attempt to get his attention? He doesn’t respond.]
Mack? Are you there?
[McMurphy stands there doing nothing, does a T-Pose and disappears out of thin air. Small text
on the size saying “McMurphy has disconnected from the server”]
[Cut to a long distance shot of chief getting up and walking toward the window.]
CHIEF
I gotta get out of here.
[Chief turns around in shock, Music plays]
JCVD, [Jean Claude Vann Damme, the muscles from Brussels with a craving for combat.]
Not on your life.
CHIEF
You’re wrong. I’m going to escape and be free!
JCVD.
No!
[JCVD pulls out a sword.]
JCVD
You like sushi? [Swings sword while yelling]
CHIEF
No. I like KFC [Pulls out lightsaber, swings it]
[Cut to JCVD swinging sword more]
[Cut to CHIEF swinging lightsaber]
[Cut to Close-ups of JCVD and CHIEF]
CHIEF [In Japanese]
You just want those to be your last words? Guess it’s to late, your already dead.
[One Eternity Later, Sword Fight SFX, Carleton dance GIF on the side playing TOM JONES]
[Cut to scene of JCVD defeated, dying on the floor, Chief putting the lightsaber back in his
jacket]
CHIEF
That was… something. [Proceeds to escape the ward, grabbing a recycle bin and smashing the
window with it.]
[Cut to slow-motion scene of CHIEF running. Epilogue text fades in and out]
[THE END]
[Credit roll]
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